23| Home Ec. is Where the Heart is

Welcome back to another month's worth of events at Throatvoid Grade Sch—I mean—Jambalaya Grade School. The Garfield the Bottlenose Dolphin Fan Club has rebranded. I know it's tough to swallow, but what happened to the 4th grade class is an unsolvable mystery. Tinnie hits the big stage! For all you track stars: Whatever you're planning, DO jump the gun. For this episode, Mrs Rodhaus asked the scientific community a very importent question. I don't foresee Harold McCormick recovering from his pickle jar injury any time soon. Finally, we've got viewership questions for me! Music for this episode by Coven Dove from the album Mortality. Track listing in order of appearance: 11th Plane, Human, Walk Away, Liability, Delirium, Qloud Queen, IV Waltz, and Human during outro.  Thank you to Nalley Chili and Boba Fettuccini's Sarlac Pit Linguini for sponsoring. This month's parody song is One Stump Closer, parodying Linkin Park's One Step Closer. Lyrics: I cannot rake these leaves—no more. Cleaning up beneath this sycamore. Evergreens don't make a mess, unlike damn deciduous. Guess that I should relocate to a houseboat on a lake (with sandy shores). Every sinlge fallen tree (Brings me one day closer to the end when I don't have to rake). I go to work when there's a breeze (Now I'm one sweep closer to Fall's end. Come Winter, I won't rake). Hickory branches are so bare. Wish every aspen leaf would just stay there. Falling leaves—they make me tense. Spring, I miss, when trees are dense. Doing yard work every day. Blowing and mowing again. My back is sore. Every single ginkgo leaf (Makes me dread the day when summer ends—the day I start to rake). With fallen leaves, I'm having beef (But I'm one sweep closer to the end when I don't have to rake). Reminiscing of those years (In the desert without foliage—I never had to rake). Remember when these leaves were green? (Now they're dropping down onto my head, and I don't want to...rake. Cut up trees like willow and yew. Cut up, cut up, cut up. Cut up trees like willow and yew. Cut up, cut up, cut up, cut up. I don't wanna rake. Every deciduous tree (Swings a maul head down onto a wedge—this stump's about to break). I'll bend this branch into a wreath (Now there's one less piece of foliage that I won't have to rake). Step outside to take a pee (Pissing on the willow by my sedge—my own ammonia lake). This leafy spruce I'm underneath (It was planted by my great granddad who didn't want to...) rake. Please share this with anyone that you think may enjoy it. I don't know where to find my audience! :|