23. Was It Worth It?

Musing Interruptus is a podcast for sharing thoughts and stories and enjoying idiomatic phrases and words. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic expressions are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. The music is called Lechuza By Blue Dot Howdy. Welcome. I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. The balance between goods over harms can help to evaluate if a decision was worth the trouble. I wonder when is a good time to do this. Evidently, when you are amidst loss, there is a lack of clarity. It’s on my mind today, Was It Worth It?  Experiences that stem from our decisions are part of our makeup. Our traits, temperament, problem-solving abilities, openness, or closed-offness result from our experiences and how we face them. The good, the bad, the ugly. Success, failure, loss. Any experience, within reasonable bounds (excluding violence and harm) should be an addition to who we are. Our past has made us, but shouldn’t define us. In that light, it seems like it was worth it, no matter what it was. The decisions we make are the stuff of life’s classroom. I think we are supposed to be grateful for all the lessons we have learned. However, screw that shit, when it hurts, nothing feels worth it. On the contrary, when things don’t go the way you thought they would, how you planned them, or according to your well-informed projections the only thing that crosses my mind is CURSES and I want a do-over or at least, crawl into bed and never come out again, because this is complete and utter toilet! … CURSES! Was it worth it? I don’t know. When things don’t go my way I say, no! And I accept that sometimes I make bad decisions. And maybe I don’t care to find the silver lining or the lesson. Why can’t this just be time wasted in vain! Poor decision-making happens when I stop listening to my intuition or make a decision based on an impulse. Then again, I would be lying if I didn’t say how much I enjoy those impulses. Still, the crappy feeling when things don’t go the way I expect when I’m on the losing end of the negotiation, the loss that opens a kind of withdrawal syndrome. Withdrawal from the high I got from expectation and anticipation of success. When it doesn’t work out, apparently, you have to just let that pass, let it go. Was it worth it? I suppose your response will depend on what stage you are at in the process and if you have won or lost. In the beginning, what do you have to lose? In the middle, you are still building towards something it is still wait and see. Yet, once you reach the outcome, you must bask in the joy and pride of accomplishment or wallow in the dread, shame, and disappointment of failure. The aftertaste will most definitely affect your perspective.  Was it worth it? Investing your savings and losing them when the market turned? Putting your heart out there and watching it explode in slow motion like Ralph Wiggum’s on the Simpsons when Lisa breaks his heart. Like an atomic blast that makes mushroom waves. For Lord Tennyson “'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all..” Does the same apply to an investment gone belly up? Your takeaway from one of those situations is — Now you know! You didn’t know before, and now you know.  Popular wisdom and toxic positive thinking would have you believe that you should never feel pain or loss or grief. Find the fucking silver lining or you are failing. Tell me, what is the takeaway from this? What diploma do I get for going through this loss? What certification level do I have now? If you don’t get it, the