2304: [Part 1] Overcoming Self-Sabotage by Melani Schweder of A Brighter Wild on Shifting Your Energy

This is Optimal Living Daily Episode 2304, Overcoming Self-Sabotage, Part 1, by Melanie Schwaiter of abriderwild.com, and I'm Justin Mollick. Today I'm a bit of a longer post, so I'll read the first half today, and then finish the rest for you tomorrow. So that'll get right to Part 1, and start optimizing your life. Overcoming Self-Sabotage, Part 1, by Melanie Schwaiter of abriderwild.com.

I can't tell you how many times I used to throw in the towel on my healthy fruits and veggies, and go on a three-day donut and cheeseburger bender. I also can't tell you how many times I ended, what could have been a good relationship by either ghosting them or saying way too much too soon. I've also been known to stay silent in the face of great career opportunities, throw my money away on stupid stuff, and get really sick right before an important event. I've been snarky to people I love, I've procrastinated on my work, and I've lied to get out of things that would have been amazing for my growth.

This isn't just me, right? Of course not, you do it too. I'll be the first to raise my hand and say that I am my own worst enemy. I know we're all conditioned to watch our backs and make sure nobody is trying to take us down.

But how often do we turn that focus around and see that the real problem is right here under our noses? What is one thing that I consistently see as a coach and energy worker that holds my clients back from meeting their goals? It's not an external circumstance. It's not food or money or time.

It's much deeper than that. It's self-sabotage. And the truth is, we all do it. Self-sabotage is an internal mechanism that we all have, but they can seriously hold us back without us even realizing it.

It keeps us small, it keeps us safe, it keeps us limited. And it is the main reason why people don't seem to be able to move forward, whether they're trying to regain their physical health, deepen a good relationship or advance their career. So where does self-sabotage come from? From your lizard brain.

From anyone who isn't familiar with this term, the lizard brain is the oldest and most primal part of your brain, the limbic system. This part of our neuroanatomy is responsible for your basic survival needs. Its entire job is to keep you safe. And often, its ideas are at odds with the higher parts of the brain, which can create a lot of internal conflict, and much to our collective human dismay, it drives behaviors that undermine our goals.

I don't think we give the lizard brain enough credit for how powerful its influence is. Actions that are driven by the lizard brain can leave us mystified and are sometimes categorized as unexplainable behaviors. I know there's a lot of talk of this part of the brain when it comes to addiction, but it applies to pretty much every single human behavior out there. And I know that a lot of you struggle with this.

You've probably heard the quote from Marianne Williamson that goes, our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. And quote, this touches on the heart of self-sabotage in my opinion.

In my practice, I don't see so much of the classic fear of failure as I do a serious fear of success. We're afraid of our power, our potential, our true purpose here on earth. And so, we shrink back. We throw wrenches into the machinery.

We light fires and walk away. And a lot of this takes place on a subconscious level. Your lizard brain is always trying to keep you safe. And what is the bigger fear than the fear of the unknown?

What could be scarier than the things we cannot yet understand or categorize or control? Thus, our ingrained primal habits kick in and keep us in bad relationships and unhealthy eating patterns and jobs that drain our souls. But hey, it's not all the fault of our lizard brains. We have our society at large to blame too.

While our internal mechanisms are set up to avoid risk, our culture also prays upon our sense of unworthiness. And these two things love to work together. When we already are afraid to try something new and put ourselves out there, the messages we've received since childhood also chime in and say we're not worthy of anything good anyway. So why bother trying?

Everywhere we turn, there are people telling us we're not worthy. Oops, this is how marketing advertising works, by the way. By keeping us down and shutting us up, our culture keeps us small and controllable. And somewhere deep down, we totally believe it.

We give up on ever getting well and resign ourselves to slamming caffeine and popping pills to deal with the fatigue, brain fog and chronic pain. We give up on ever manifesting, loving, sexy, healthy relationships. And instead, shrug our shoulders, content to stay with a mediocre partner or unhappily single forever. And this inertia grows over time, filling our heads with all the excuses for why we shouldn't change and all the reasons why it'll go wrong if we do.

But here's the thing friends. Joy, love and abundance are your birthright. This is a spiritual truth. And yes, it cannot be computed by our little human lizard brains.

So what do we do to reconcile these parts of us, the physical and the spiritual and be able to move forward in life? We hear that in tomorrow's episode. You just listened to part one of the post titled Overcoming Self-Sabotage by Melanie Shwader of a Writer-Wild.com. I'm constantly thinking about how to optimize my health, what supplements to take, hours of sleep, what my diet should focus on.

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And head to superpower.com and use code old at checkout for an additional $20 off your membership. Thank you to Melanie. I'll save my comments until the end of this post. That's it in tomorrow's episode.

So for now, thank you for being here and listening every day, including the weekends. And we'll finish this one up tomorrow where you're optimal life. I'll wait.