233. 17 Years in a Toxic Marriage with Everte Farnell

Everte Farnell spent seventeen years married to a partner he now believes had borderline personality disorder, enduring verbal, emotional, and eventually physical abuse before everything came to a head in his own kitchen. In this conversation, he opens up about why men rarely report abuse, what changed the night his daughter stepped in, and how he rebuilt his health, his confidence, and his life from the ground up.What You'll LearnWhy a majority of domestic abuse incidents involve female aggression toward male partners, and why almost none of it gets reportedHow borderline personality traits can drive a partner to undermine the people closest to them out of fear of abandonmentWhat it actually took for Everett to leave a marriage he had stayed in for years out of fear and outdated research about kids and divorceHow losing over 100 pounds became part of Everett's recovery from years of stress eating and undiagnosed sleep apneaWhy filing for a protective order as a man can come with its own uphill battle in the legal systemHow Everett went from believing the world was an emotional hellscape to seeing it as full of opportunityGuest BioEverte Farnell grew up in the small town of Umatilla, Florida, and built a career as an entrepreneur, including scaling a roofing company to ten times its weekly sales in under sixteen months. After surviving a seventeen-year marriage marked by abuse, he rebuilt his life, lost over 100 pounds, and remarried into what he describes as the healthiest relationship of his life. He now shares his story to help others recognize and talk about abuse that often goes unreported.TIMESTAMPS00:00 — Introduction and Everett's background growing up in rural Florida04:00 — The toxic beliefs about money Everett had to unlearn06:00 — How Everett rewired disempowering beliefs over time13:00 — Living with smiling depression and undiagnosed sleep apnea14:00 — Seventeen years married to a partner with borderline traits20:00 — Why Everett stayed longer than he should have25:00 — The night everything changed in the kitchen28:00 — The truth about domestic abuse against men31:00 — How Everett became more empathetic and rebuilt his lifeConnect with Everte Farnell:Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/everte-farnell-aa77556/Website: https://evertefarnell.com/About the ShowFine is a 4-Letter Word is a podcast about what happens when people stop pretending everything is fine and start telling the truth about what they are really going through. Host Lori Saitz brings on guests for honest conversations about the moments that changed everything.Subscribe so you never miss a conversation that might change how you see your own story.