239: The Problem With Saying “I’m Busy” When Someone Asks How You Are

“I’m busy.”But… busy how? Overwhelmed? Coping? Struggling? Fine but stretched?This episode starts with a simple question and quickly turns into a full-blown rant about one of Roula’s biggest communication pet peeves: using “I’m busy” as a default response when someone asks how you’re doing.Roula explains why the phrase shuts conversations down, creates distance, and subtly suggests that one person’s time is more important than another’s. Rosie explores why so many of us fall back on it anyway, especially when we don’t actually want to open up or don’t think the other person really cares.They unpack how “I’m busy” often replaces emotional honesty, how it shows up at work and in relationships, and why it can be a cry for help disguised as productivity. The conversation also touches on small talk, cultural habits, boundaries, and why we ask “how are you” when we don’t always want the real answer.Roula also references communication expert Jefferson Fisher, whose take on busyness helped push this long-held irritation to the surface.Topics covered:Why “I’m busy” isn’t a real answerHow busyness shuts down connectionWhat people often mean when they say they’re busyEmotional honesty vs social etiquetteBusyness, boundaries and efficiency at workSmall talk, cultural habits and fake check-insBetter ways to answer “how are you?”When someone asks how you are, what do you usually say — and what would a more honest answer sound like?--------------------☕️ Buy us a coffee!🎙️ Send us a voice message🛍️ Buy some Rosie and Roula merch!--------------------⭐️ Leave us a review▶️ Follow us on Instagram and TikTok🎞️ Subscribe to our YouTube channel--------------------🎧 Check out Roula's podcast🎧 Check out Rosie's podcast