24: Parenting without Panic, Emily Oster on Tech, Routines and more

This episode is really special to me. I got to sit down with Emily Oster — someone whose work has been a constant companion in my parenting journey. Emily is an economist, bestselling author, and professor at Brown University who has become a trusted voice for parents looking to make informed, grounded decisions. You might know her from her books Expecting Better, Cribsheet, The Family Firm, and The Unexpected. Her work takes complicated data and turns it into something we can actually use — not to be perfect, but to feel less lost and more confident in how we parent. I first found Emily when I was thinking about getting pregnant and searching (desperately) for trustworthy information on whether it was okay to stay on my Zoloft. Her calm, rational, and deeply human voice stood out immediately. She didn’t just share the data — she helped me feel like I wasn’t alone in trying to figure it all out. Meeting her in person was surreal, and also… so normal. She’s a mom, just like us, and she’s as down-to-earth as she is brilliant. In this conversation, I got to ask the questions that have been on my mind for years — and her answers did not disappoint. We talked about: Kids and technology — what the data actually says, how to think about screen time, and when kids might be ready for things like phones. (Her “frontal lobe” metaphor changed how I think about it.) Routines — why they matter not just for our kids, but for us. Emily shared how having routines early on (even just for sanity) laid the foundation for flexibility later on. “Hurried Child Syndrome" — the eye rolly term that has scared us all since it started trending on instagram, Emily shares the difference between rushing through life and pushing kids ahead too fast, and how slowing down has helped her kids take more ownership in the mornings. The power of saying no — how her family protects their weekends, talks through what really matters, and why sometimes skipping a birthday party is exactly what everyone needs. At the end, I asked Emily if there was one parenting hill she’d die on — and her answer honestly surprised me. She reminds us that no single choice makes or breaks our kids. What matters most is what makes your family happy and work well together. This episode felt like the kind of conversation I needed as a parent — grounding, smart, and totally freeing. I’m so excited to share it with you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices