Hey everybody and welcome to classical stuff you should know for a podcast about the classical world old books Oh literature you get the whole thing. I'm here with some compatriots. I have Graham Donaldson here You're like Tom's you're like AJ just to say like you know the whole thing and not criticizes intro But when I say like old stuff old books you're like Anyway, my name is Thomas and I thought that was delightful If this is your first time here listen the back catalogs on this podcast What kind of maybe the introduction that you just did and not do whatever they're doing Yeah, I think you tell me that I'm doing this one well the important thing is that I use the verse we are We are a podcast about this instead of we podcast about this one of those is a linking verb None of those is a verb you verb. Yes, which is I think what we're talking about today linking We're right we instead we are podcasters we podcast regularly I podcast you podcast.
We've passed it Podcast them. Yes. Okay cool. Yes.
So today we are talking about writing a couple of like maybe 15 episodes a Go or so we did an episode on I think it's called the pumposity of GPT of chat GPT Oh, and we talked a little bit about tone and in that episode We talked about tonal errors and the type of tone that chat GPT takes on so that that was an episode We did a writing and then years and years and years and years ago. We did an episode I think called how to write good her how to write good or two. I thought that was the chat GPT one Oh, wasn't it? Yeah, wasn't it?
Um anyway, um, so we did that a long time ago and We as so you listen to the podcast AJ and I are English teachers at Veritas Academy in Austin, Texas We not just podcasters We teach we have we not our teachers. Oh, we teach you think yeah, and so we're gonna be talking about three There's five, but I think the last two aren't as important We're gonna be talking about three preferences that you as a writer can choose and they're very easy and they're going to turn a boring sentence or a boring paragraph or sort of like a standard paragraph into something better and I've played around a little bit with a little bit with listening to or reading chat GPT essays and sort of generating like putting my prompts as a teacher into them and seeing what kind of writing I get and chat GPT tends to sort of like fall into Using lots of nouns as opposed to using lots of verbs probably because the language models that they are learning from are Generated by humans in the last 14 years on the internet and most of our writing we use lots of nouns and very few first Okay, so today we're gonna be talking about how to improve your writing and gentlemen you have in front of you What's wrong? What's wrong? So I believe what we have in front of us are submissions from your students So we have four introductions wrong read all of them I went on my Google Drive and I just typed in Romeo and Juliet because I teach that book and I found Essays that students that shared with me over the years when they're turning papers as far back as like 2015 and I have absolutely No idea who these students are I mean I know who they are when I look at me their names, but I cut and pasted just random Paragraphs from papers put them in a dock and printed them off now unfortunately the ones that I Photo copy for you have some of my notes on them So you can just ignore those but we are I'm gonna first I'm gonna read a paragraph Yeah, I'm gonna read a paragraph and as you listen to it.
You are going well. You tell me no H. J is gonna know the answers I guess I just want to read it I want you to hear how kind of like awkwardly phrased it is and We're gonna talk about how we can use these three preferences to turn something that's awkwardly So something wrong with the ideas in this paragraph, but the writing of it is a little difficult So here I'm gonna read it insights an essay on Romeo and Juliet Self-control is something all humans and living things lack some lack it more than others But we can all obtain it by practice through living and experiencing we learn how to get our fingers around our emotions and actions Even though we occasionally lose a grip feelings actions and words are what we learn to control if you lack self-control Then you are a slave to your emotions Romeo Montague is a perfect picture of being a slave to emotions Though Romeo maybe a youth when we read about him in Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare We get an example of how lacking a grip on your emotions and actions is a set up for failure Throughout the course of the book Romeo makes decisions based on pure emotions healthy or harmful those emotions might be he acts on whatever he feels Romeo lets his emotions passions and choices slip his grasp causing heartbreak and death Okay, it's a pretty standard like 10th grade style writing. There are some little passages in there They're okay.
There are some passages in there that are not okay, and we're gonna talk about So you sort of you've heard that and you as you're listening to it You're like oh this sound this is sort of maybe just you listen at home and Thomas and you're just reading it looking at it It is not easy to fully absorb the ideas that are being presented in the paragraph There are some things where like I think I know what they're trying to say those other passages really like that's sort of You are lacking a vocab word that is going to like make this shine so the question is Are there things that we can turn to in order to like fix writing like this and there are so let's go through them right So the first thing is is what AJ alluded to in the introduction And if you are writing and you are you if you're writing something for work If you're delivering a speech if you're writing an essay if you're doing any kind of writing once you finished your first draft You should go through it and you should look for clusters of nouns You should try to put to change as many nouns into verbs as possible nouns sort of fill up sentences with like objects and that's what they are nouns fill up sentences with like clunky things that you kind of have to picture And if you don't have enough verbs in there, you're just gonna have a big selection of nouns with some kind of Pardon me with some kind of verb some kind of verb of existence So so that first and self-control is something all humans and living creatures lack so we will talk about the problem with the creatures humans and living things Self-control is something let's make it easier self-control is something creatures lack What is the verb in that sentence mr. Maguire is is that's right? We have an is verb and And we have self-control and we have creatures and the lack of self-control is a state of being So if the first preference that you should do if you're wanting to improve your writing is to get rich to try to turn as many Nouns into verbs as possible. Let me give you an example So let's say that it's Saturday time is Saturday morning Yeah, and you hear knock at your door.
Yeah, hello You knock at your door and you go down and you open the door and there standing on your porch is like a jaunty little door-to-door Sales great wonderful And he's got a suitcase and he's like good morning, sir Yes, and he is good going door-to-door because he is trying to sell you a book Okay, and he's selling you a book you notice that you see a sort of truck that he's driving as you go Storing door and there's like soccer balls and hockey sticks and like footballs and baseball bats in the back of his truck and everything I'm like, huh interesting and you say this on your nerd yeah I want to say this book and you say what is what's the book about and this is the sentence he says? The subject of this book is low-budget sports promotion techniques. That's what he says That's the sentence the subject of this book is low-budget sports promotion techniques, okay? You can kind of understand what the book is kind of but what's again?
What is the verb in that sentence is is and then the book So the book has a state of being and the state of being is the book is about low-budget sports promotion techniques So that whole big run of sentences low-budget sports promotion techniques is acting like the state of being of the book It's acting like this now and for the book it's acting like this sort of you know what the book is But with embedded in that fray in those in those words low-budget sports promotion techniques is to Now is to nouns that we can turn into verbs And we and we wanted to change the sentence from the subject of this book is low-budget sports promotion techniques Well, let's see if we can do it. So maybe change that sentence to give me verbs to that aren't To give me some active verbs give me some free take some of those nouns or and give me some verbs What's that one about I'm not I'm not gonna do it right, but it's the this book teaches you how to promote sports Okay, so good you took and so instead of promoting techniques you should give me the verb promote promote So there's promote and then it's promoting sports and a budget. Okay without so if you're doing something low-budget wise in a low-budget way Yeah, and there's really yes You do thriftily or you say without spending lots of money and spending is your second verb Right, so if the door door salesman said this book tells you how to promote sports without spending a lot of money That's way easier and that's a better sentence and that is a better written and a better communicated sentence than the subject of this book is Low-budget sports promotion technique Graham. I don't feel confused which means they don't sound as smart to me Is that a problem that is a problem a J and we talked about that problem and we were talking about Tom Yeah, that sort of high-browism tone where lots of academic writing is where the sentences are talking about Like these abstract states of being and most of the time the verb is a linking verb is a to be verb So and so is an adherent to the such and such philosophy Instead of so and so believes in or you could even say like you can give me the proponents of the philosophy So like so and so is a stoic well, you can only really understand what that sentence means if you understand what stoicism this abstract concept is But if you said but if you said so he said John is a stoic or You know John controls his passions, right?
That's a whole that's it completely you don't need to know what the word still It means in order to understand the sentence So you don't have to have this like roll the decks of nouns if you have good verbs now So changing putting changing things into verbs is the best is sort of the first thing everybody should do So if you are wanting you writer at home or wanting to improve your writing every time you write a sentence Every time you write a paragraph every time you're composing something an email something for work a speech you're giving when you're done Go through it and circle every single linking verb that you can find so that's is our Linking verbs are there our am is was we're being that's right? Well those are all the to be verbs there's a lot more than a link in words or and seems anything basically means is right Well, so well, let's let's talk more about the game So but our first rule our first preference We should do is try to limit the amount of nouns in your writing as possible and try to put as many verbs in your writing as possible This is actually really hard for us as modern people because we don't have does the average person And that's us included. We don't really have a deep vocabulary of verbs like we have a deep vocabulary of nouns So you guys make fun of me for not going to Marvel movies Yeah, so here so let's say I acquiesced and I said Thomas take me to go see Marvel 12 yeah, whatever's coming out and If we went to that movie and I sat in there and I was watching and I was watching what was going on and someone came on the screen I'd say hey Thomas who's that guy I whisper Thomas who's that you say that spider man and I say oh cool you couldn't put that together And then he comes on screen I say hey Thomas who's that you say that's Captain wonderful There's like some sort of throbbing machine on screen. I'm like hey Thomas.
What's that thing you're like that's the Do the test of man my voice is really just a test of make up test of it I watch the record first one of us and then you're like that's the big that's the McGuffin that you destroyed But in the movie okay, so if we watch a movie I'm asking you I sound so cool I find watching a Marvel movie. I'm asking you about to identify all the nouns. I'm gonna time I leave that movie I've got a huge list of like nouns now if we're watching the Marvel movie and all the marbles If they were flashing or if they were like whisking across the screen racing towards the bad guy I wouldn't lean over to you and say hey Thomas what words would you describe this motion? Would you say that they are flying or would you say that they are?
Have been catapulted are these you mean are they zooming what word would best describes what we're seeing we don't do that So because we don't because we you know we observe the world with eyes and we you know and we And if we're walking around I say hey What's that you're gonna tell me what the name of the noun is but we don't often ask for the vocabulary word for the verb We just naturally don't have as deep a repository of verbs at our fingertips as we do nouns And so I'm convinced as someone who is now taught writing for 10 11 years is that when someone is sitting down to think up a sentence Or try to communicate an idea They naturally go to what they have a deeper pool of and that's nouns and so if you're naturally gonna feel your sentences with nouns On the only verbs you're gonna have end up being sort of weak linking verbs And then you have that that is but sort of the hallmark of that kind of clunky writing is one that turns verbs like promoting and spending to low-budget and promotion techniques and so the first rule is Learn verbs so I've a list of a thousand verbs. I'm gonna read them to you No, I ask you a question. Mm-hmm. This might be specific to this example here But the first sentence is we've simplified one of the phrases so currently is self-control is something all creatures lack Yeah, so also just moving it so that something all creatures lack is self or all creatures lack self-control So I know if that lack is now kind of moved position Yeah, isn't there something to just kind of moving the words around for sure?
I think all creatures lack self-control is great time. It's way better But you could go to all creatures have trouble controlling themselves. Yeah, you can also say have trouble and then use controlling themselves There probably even also is a verb that none of us really have read our fingertips that has to do with the action of self-control There's probably you know, I don't know abstention. Yeah, maybe abstain.
Yeah, well, I don't know again, but yes All creatures lack self-control or creatures have trouble controlling themselves is a better turn by limiting that sort of verb of being Yeah, and that's gonna be our second rule So our first rule is is try to get as many verbs as possible in your sentence and as many nouns out of that sentence and more often than not You're gonna have nouns that can turn into verbs like a low-budget A low-budget techniques becomes a book about not spending a lot of money Right, and if you'll notice that sometimes it does mean that your sentence is longer in terms of words when AJ said all creatures have trouble controlling What did you say have trouble controlling themselves? Yeah, you've actually made the sentence if not longer had you have more sort of like 10 cent words in there There's nothing wrong with that I think a lot of people think brevity is the best kind of sentence and so you get into these little punchy to be sent to be verb sentences So the best thing that anybody can do if they're really wanting to improve their writing is to go find a list of verbs And just try like learning verbs you don't know Because if you like I have a list of thousand verbs that I make my students do vocab from like Oh, you actually have a list of a thousand oh, yeah, you know, you must really find a party I'm super fun a podcast. Yeah, you know, boast, bray, break, broadcast Conquer, confess, conclude, complain like I know it sounds kind of trite and silly But writing that actually has the perfect verb in there as opposed to a noun acting as a noun acting as a state of being is Such a better sentence to and so you know why it's better? Because you end up picturing so instead of just having like in your I don't know one theory is instead of just having in your mind a bunch of objects in a state of being that you can't really picture So like a low budget sports promotion technique book is just like it's not doing anything if you're picturing it just is this thing but if you say a book that How to a book that tells you how to promote local sports without spending much money you start putting a little man in your head doing actions Like he's learned how to promote sports.
Maybe he's going door to door. Maybe he's doing such and such and you actually end up getting like Yeah, you have a sentence that's got motion right? You've got somebody that's got that's doing something in your sentence and it's just sort of it's actually ending up turning the sentence instead of an abstract state of being into a sentence that's talking about motion and it's easier to Quickly absorb a sentence about motion that it is about an abstract state Well, it's also using much more concrete things right how to promote sports without spending much money So I have money sports those are my nouns rather than Local budget promotion techniques, which I can't really pick you can't really picture exactly. Yeah, so preference number one Learn verbs and try to fill your sentence with verbs preference number two.
We've been alluding to it when it comes to picking verbs prefer action verbs to linking verbs So an action verb is a verb that is you know, like running jumping promoting controlling Answer apologize applaud. These are these are action verbs and linking verbs. We already mentioned that so we got it to be verbs is was were Am is mr. Was were will be yeah, and then there are and other linking verbs are Things like become looked look seem appear effect those are also linky verbs The reason why you want to eliminate these verbs in your sentences is because I don't do very much especially my most hated word of all Effect wait like a ff ecc.
That's a linky verb. Are you sure AJ you affect me? Well, it's vague But I still think it's an action verb right like it's some sort of action, but it's a bit incredibly vague It is an action it is a if it is an action verb it is a verb that requires a follow-up sentence to describe what it is fully So if I said AJ you affect me. I have no idea.
What's it? Yeah, right? I've every time I see AJ I am inspired to be a better man back. That's an effect where every time I see age I want to shove him in a locker.
That's another effect every time I see Graham he hacks off one of my knees That's right. Yes. He's definitely affected by day. Yeah, yeah So if you are writing if you're using the word effect in your writing or appears or looks or seems You are signing yourself up for a subsequent sentence that you need in order to describe the sentence that came before it I tell my students about this as a sorry.
I'm not gonna go for a podcast I call them set up and punchline sentences where you give them something that vaguely hints at what you're actually going to tell them in the next Sentence and I think I think it comes from the Internet. Mm-hmm. He did this and she was so shocked click here to find out Why right when they finally deliver it right she had something that greatly affected me She cut off her aunt's head with a hatchet and buried in the yard. Okay.
Well, if you just say she cut off her And set with a hatchet, you know someone's someone's gonna get affected somewhere, right? You really don't need that set up sentence. Just give me the punchline, right? It's it's already there you don't need you don't need to like prop it up by giving me a sense preparing you for the thing You really want to tell me just tell me that thing exactly it's a habit that I think we gleaned from the Internet.
Mm-hmm I think it's a habit we gleaned from the Internet I think it's a habit we gleaned when we are wanting to hedge our argument because we're worried someone's gonna say if you said You know AJ inspires me and someone's like why he's just blah. Yeah, tell me about it Whereas if I said AJ affects me like, you know I think people do it to try like hide behind not be not trying to make a definitive statement about their thoughts I don't know that it's hedging so much as just no thought or no thought effort If I say you affect me, I'm basically dancing around having any sort of thought in the great matter in my school It's it's a way to write without any effort at all and I think that's the key right It's a professional but it isn't right. Yeah How many times have you as a student had to write something and you don't really want to give it the effort because you'd rather Go play with a ball or whatever it is And so you kind of fluff out a whole bunch of garbage and all of it is going to be that greatly affected and inspiration and just garbage words It don't actually have any thoughts behind the fluff was a great verb in that lesson Thank you. Thanks.
Romeo was affected by Juliet and it was his and it was I think of what's the other phrase that happens a lot and it caused it caused death Get that a lot Romeo was affected by Juliet and it caused his death Okay, so we're on so we're trying to limit any linking verbs Yes Now I have another sort of concern about linking verbs and the other thing that what happens is when you have a linking verb is you end up probably Overstating you're doing a pretty deep metaphysical thing when you're using a linking verb And I think you are sometimes either doing intonations or connotations that you may not want that I don't think is completely benign so if you said AJ is a bus driver versus if I did an action verb of AJ drives a bus There is like the on the on the immediate communication level of it I haven't done very much of a difference But on a deeper level I have ascribed a status of being to AJ in one sentence AJ is a bus driver and the second one I have just described an action that AJ does AJ drives a bus and I know this may be like an old man yells at clouds moment, but I do feel that like tell us about the kids these days Yeah, no, I do feel that like it by using too many linking verbs We end up creating deeper statements about like metaphysical realities about identity that we don't mean to say Because I don't even give you this example when I say AJ is a bus driver if I use as an example in class I would sometimes get some Snickers and skits would be like all that's all he just draws a bus like he went to school And he tells a cold degree. He's just a bus driver. They have some sort of unfortunately They have some sort of negative connotation about being a bus driver But that doesn't come through if I said AJ drives a bus because I can keep me drawing a bus for all sorts of reasons Quick note I was pulled up next to a bus at the school the other day and there was the bus driver in there had a little weight and he was doing Twist all the poncines like that guy's a go-getter. He's at his job and he's getting fit Yeah, I'm driving a bus.
He's like did that job for five years and realize I sit all day I said do something he's just not there crushing it. That's not like it's great So you getting a reason why you might consider using the linking verb like if I want to convey If you do the bus driver in my story if you want to convey some sort of deep identity to somebody the linking verb works It's a good thing I'm not saying eliminate linking verbs altogether Yeah, but I am saying that when when you don't have a Repository of verbs and all you have to communicate your understanding of the world is Creating I to creating statuses of being that you ascribed to people with a linking verb I worry that like that's you end up only viewing people as like Some sort of metaphysical states of something as opposed to like one-off actions Well even here in this paragraph you gave us if you lack self-control then you are a slave to your emotions Yes, exactly, but not some people lack self-control about say Dove bars or whatever it is Dove candies I don't know what I mean like dive bars Well, some people are like a bar of soap. Oh, that's true I was thinking of those little dov like the dog chocolate candies the little hearts. Yeah, yeah So bar was the wrong term there, but you know they lack self-control specifically.
We just said there's It's overstating, you know, it's overstating But and the fact that you use the to be verb means that you end up either overstating the status of all of you are you are so like because they lacked sort of the A better descriptive verb to talk about being in a situation where you you wanted the candy and you couldn't resist the candy Yeah, so no you are slave to your motions Instead of something like emotions can enslave you if you don't resist them. Yeah Is using a word like can acceptable or would that is that something else that should be I'm just wondering if that's its own form of Hedging you can be a slave to your emotions. It is another form of hedging because in this case It's true. It's not it's not a you also have to avoid big sweet statements.
Yeah, that are true Yeah, so anyway, so I maybe we can have more to say about this in the in between But I feel like oh, there's a phrase I hate you said that no I feel like you think I'm Do you really bother you? I'm okay with it. No, you feel like no really I've banded on in class discussions I just feel like that's kind of a stretch just kind of overstepping I think it's just modern-nomingly. I know it is modern-nomingly sure, but it also communicates a certain kind of intellectual hedge I just feel like it But don't I assume all verbal fillers are just the chance for someone to come up with what they're thinking.
Yeah, you're grabbing more intent to it I if not intent it I I feel like I guess I if not intent it my fear is that by having that be the way you construct sentences You end up Not being assertive enough in your own thoughts, right? Because all it takes is someone to be like you feel that way well, it's clearly not that way and you're like oh well I just said I feel like it. I didn't really think about it. You still have an out.
Yeah, you still have an out That's where you were started. No, it's just the way people say I think you're right. I think you're right. You're correct anyway, so Getting rid of linking verb So a very easy thing that you can do in your writing is as soon as you finished writing your your thoughts and your ideas Your rough draft is go through and every time you see is are to be any sort of linking verb just circle it Just circle your to be first sometimes you're gonna have to stay there And that's just the best way to construct the sentence with it to be verb But more often than not you can change that sentence into something better by getting rid of that to be verb We'll try that with the students paragraph in a little bit So and I do think there's a world of difference between AJ drives a bus and AJ is a bus driver because AJ is not just a bus driver He's a friend.
He's a brother Christian A colleague a gentleman sometimes rock climber sometimes rock climber DJ Synthesis there is a complexity that cannot be captured in one to be verb He contains multitudes he contains multitudes, and I think definitely living in a world of an obsession with identity I don't know with Kim with which dog is wagging which tail? I don't know if the if a culture obsessed with identity gravitates towards to be verbs or if bad writing created a culture of Obsessed with identity. It doesn't really matter. Really.
It's just a product of laziness. Yeah, okay. I think I think that's part of it I mean from the logic standpoint. Sorry again.
Hi, Jenny From the logic standpoint every statement in the human language can be boiled down to a to be verb This is how categorical logic works. You need some sort of category a is category B So all dogs are mouth breathers would be a logical statement It's that any statements in human language can you can do this with now you can do with questions or commands or anything like that Most statements can be boiled down to this And so if I'm a student and I need to put a sentence together and you need to be making statements The easiest default is to just go with the is this is that this is that this equals that this equals that and it's the because you can do it With literally any idea students do automatically and then you just get a big paper full equal signs and that's born Yes, and that's what the to be verb ends up being is an equal sign between two nouns. Yeah, this is that AJ is a bus driver I thought it would have made the writing clearer because when you painted in terms of logic It's like okay all dogs are mouth breathers mouth breathers are the worst therefore dogs are the worst right like that seems like I've made a clear argument I paper even if it's a slog to read through yeah, it's true, but I don't know if it's clear It's because it's so you well as we've seen in the examples you don't give yourself any kind of room to make nuanced statements You're speaking in absolute terms about any giving into an emotion makes you a slave to those Yes self-control is something all creatures lack that's not one that's not true and two if it is true It is true it is functionally unhelpful because it's true by degrees like you lack control over eating a dove bar You lack control because you can't go outside without weeping. Yeah, right like those are two You so yeah, I like self-control.
I mean I Swear a lot so I see to wash my mouth out. Yeah, it's all creatures lack all humans and living things lack self-control Yeah, well, yeah, we also have some so it's well That's what and what is the next and what is it writer feel some like you're sure that they have exactly so she or she Who wrote this paper realize the next sentence now needs to be well some lack it more than others But we can all obtain it by practice. Yeah, so all living things can obtain better self-control for practice It would be a better simple sense. I just cut out the first Yeah, or or like discipline can be one through practice or self-control can be slayed through practice, right?
Slayed you can put in an active verb It may be that was a little cheesy self-control can be conquered through practice and you've communicated what you said in those two sentences and like What four words five words you have five words for your assignments? I don't and this is why I don't have page requirements or word requirements I have paragraph requirements and the reason why is because if you do page requirements you get fluff if you do if you And so then they also think well brevity is better and then you get bad constructs of ideas because sometimes you need sometimes actually more words Communicate the better verb right and so so I don't have those requirements in there. I also don't do those requirements I think it just trains students to be fluffy yep, sure, okay So we got into two preferences and they're very linked you want to fill your paper You're writing with as many verbs as possible and when you're selecting verbs you want those words to be active verbs You want verbs that you can picture somebody doing something as opposed to verbs of being or something that looks like seems appears or effects Okay, number three when you are selecting nouns, which you're gonna have to have nouns in your sentence You want concrete nouns as opposed to abstract nouns. So concrete nouns.
I know time is concrete nouns stand for Stand for things Tree hog for Hanenburg, maybe or you'll cookie. There's an art book in front of me I keep looking at it right those are concrete nouns whereas abstract nouns stand for ideas So it's like the difference between saying the city of Austin needs more houses and the city of Austin needs more housing Housing is a con is an abstract idea again There's nothing wrong with having sentences with abstract ideas But you want to prefer the concrete over the abstract when you're writing something and if you can make an abstract idea into the concrete Even better it's better and the thing is you can have so if you are writing something and this happens a lot sort of in Academic world or maybe in the business world if you are talking a lot about ideas of something and you can't get away from it You're talking about construct ideas like like Justice on justice I treat it on justice if you do that for six sentences the seven sentence if you can give a concrete example that illustrates the point It is going to make pull everything together and but those concrete examples are hard because you need to be a master of Are you to be able to be you need to be good at creating similes and metaphors? We're gonna talk about in this section so abstract nouns stand for ideas housing sympathy difficulty any sort of ism socialism capitalism empiricism any sort of ism is a Is an idea that is hard to sort of communicate and in many ways like is a bit of a scourge in a history lesson because you will get silly Students saying silly things like The Middle Ages ended because of the Renaissance You're like that we just walked in one day and just like This and the student and you say what does that mean that the Middle Ages was ended by the Renaissance? And they're like John Renaissance showed up and they don't know because it's an abstract idea where if you can give me concrete examples And you have to tell a story they discovered classical books of Aristotle and Plato and read them and it blew their minds I mean you're talking about the same thing anyway So This is an actual sentence from one of our literature books or sorry one of our books on writing that AJ gave to me or student gave to me Well, what browns no with not browns, so no no Bell anyway, I gave you so here's the book Here's the thing we probably use this example before actually I think student gave to me was it?
Anyway, this is filled with abstract and this is a quote a pretty typical example of academic writing From the standpoint of the historical development of empirical observation and scientific inference It is worth noting the author's acceptance of a subjective viewpoint and probability yowza Yeah, that sounds like a very smart person sounds like I don't I want to be that I want to be the person writing sentences like Yeah, yeah, but hey, yeah, but like they sound smart. It's sure they sound smart But like this is what perpetuates bad writing and you need you like this is not a sentence written for humans This is a sentence written for the initiated yeah for the people that like Need to sort of go through the like Gnostic training to get to get to the point where they can sort of understand this and then they get And then they get you know they get told that they're smart with a degree, but it's not true So I guess any of the abstract ideas right like it only makes sense to the people who know what that idea means now No, the sentences that make if you really sort of realize what the person's saying Yeah, it's not bad Yeah, and it's not wrong and it's an interesting thought but you need to give me the concrete example He's talking about from the standpoint of the historical development of empirical observation in scientific inference is essentially like as History as history went on and science group like they're talking about the history of scientific the scientific method It's worth knowing that this author's acceptance of this objective viewpoint and probability So this person realized that you can't be fully objective right in science in science Yeah, that's what it's trying to say and if you and if you went through that I probably didn't get all the nuances of what's being talked about but if you can translate that using active verbs and using verbs instead of nouns like it is easier to absorb and Not the layman, but just like a person can sit down and read this. This is what makes Good writing like this is why I'm using this example This is why CS Lewis is so accessible to lots of people is that he's a Oxford in Cambridge professor John and but he was a master at being able to use examples and linking verbs Sorry and active verbs in order to communicate things I think it's also hard because it's an extra step for your reader that you're not come you tell them the idea You want them to get instead of telling them an example and having faith that they'll get the idea Yes, so for example here he could say this author when I'd prefer his name So let's just say Jones realized that you can't take people out of science and their emotions color everything Yes, perfect And you're saying the exact same thing now with that sentence that ages just gave you have to trust that the author the reader is clever enough To know that you're using a simile that is a stand-in for the big idea. Yeah, but we'll get the subjectivity exactly So yeah, anyway, so anytime you so the next is if you're thinking okay What can I do with my writing I square bracket anything that I write that I think can be is an abstract concept that can be put into the concrete Concrete things are particulars.
Um, if we said We need better Thomas if you went into the office on Monday morning And you sent a slack message to everybody at the office and your slack message said we need better food in the office Everyone's gonna be like here here, maybe you're right. Yes, and one person's gonna say yes We need more King law and a whole wheat bread Yeah, and someone's gonna be like we need cool ranch Dorito fondues And I don't know Both of them have their own idea of what better is Trout yeah, yes, right. Yes raw trout. We need up.
We'd like smoked bream. Yeah Yeah, everyone's got their own view of what better is and you have been so abstract with the concept of every Yeah, everybody agreed and you didn't make any and you didn't say anything so which is awesome, right? It's just awesome. Yeah, you agree.
Um anyway, so you need to be concrete The if you are reading someone's writing or if you're proofreading your own writing If you ever get to a point where you're reading something and you're saying to yourself or to the author can you give me an example? The view have gone into abstract land you like we need something concrete And it's you're it's too irritating right if you don't give examples and you don't want to explain what the rocks Since you're you were the one on the call road trip sure are we talking about yeah rock Well the things rocks end up being a rock rock's end up being concrete examples So when we when we work with our thesis students one of the things we tell them is that they because they often deal in really Big numbers are abstract ideas that they need to give the audience something hold on to so on this one trip to Colorado with my freshman We stopped at the tiny volcano and they're gonna tell us all about it now It sounds like a drill in the knee no thank you But they sat us down and they all they handed us all of volcanic rock and as they were talking about what happens in a volcanic eruption They can point a little bit say see those red flex they come from this you see that little dark black piece this comes from this And it ended up being really interesting because there was something for me the lay person to kind of hold and look at and understand Right and so we do this specifically with numbers right human brains don't work real good over anything above 100 So can you picture the difference between one billion people and one trillion people? Not really not really not effectively or 10,000 to 60,000 I can't picture that in my head but if I say it was enough people to fill this stadium I can maybe picture or enough people to fill every stadium in the US okay that I kind of get better Or if it's an amount of money you could say it's enough to buy every single person in the US a Bugatti I go okay, I understand that's a lot a lot of money Right so try to give the audience something that they can wrap their brain around as an example of the thing you're trying to talk about And if you do that it ends up you can actually still as we've sort of gave the example for you can still keep your Complicated language, but if you give that one sentence that's sort of on like envelopes the complicated language I'm Belts only word that's why I'm trying to say that sort of encapsulates it So if we go back to that sentence from the standpoint of the historical development of empirical observation and scientific inference It's worth noting Jones's acceptance of the subjective viewpoint and probability and if you went on said he realized that in every lab coat in every lab coat There's still a man right so something you know something like that then you've given a concrete example It's a metaphor you're using it's even a rhetorical trope You're using a part for a whole and every lab coat or you could say in every lab coat They're still a beating heart and you could use that as well right that's a point of a very very what's going on in this I Anyway, right so you do that and all of a sudden the sentence that was hard to understand you now get because you've given the audience The concrete example the populace strove to establish justice in its borders rather than the people thought about how to best put murders in jail Yes, exactly so by giving the concrete example and the book they were talking about stone and Bell They do they have another preference Which is prefer the personal to the impersonal and I feel like prefer the concrete to the abstract and the personal impersonal The impersonal impersonal is so close that they're almost the same concept. Yeah, and I think one is far more important concrete to abstract As far more people in your senses is great, but you're right.
It's almost an offshoot or subset of concrete That's right. So we have now are three preferences prefer verbs to nouns prefer active verb linking verbs and prefer concrete examples to abstract concepts Or at least give concrete things at the end of your out of your abstract writing to make it work So we go back and this is what we'll end with this we go back and look at our We look at our sentence that we had well We already fixed the first sentence which was self-control is something all humans and living things lack some lack it more than others But we can all obtain it by practice We changed it to self-control can be one through discipline or self-control can be one through hard work or If we and if we could probably think of really if we really wanted to communicate that fact that everything lacks self-control and some measure Well, then we could we could put that in there. Alright, let's keep going through let's see this one So through living and experiencing there's an abstract concept that we should change We learn how to get our fingers around our emotions and actions even though we occasionally lose a grip now I can just tell as a teacher I can tell that I probably told a student hey give me some give me something concrete Give me someone doing something and they did you know It's a little hack needs a little like a little shoehorn in there But they tried and that's you need to as a teacher you really need to reward that try and so what so yeah So Thomas you picked up what did they try to do the fingers? Getting a grip on your motion.
No, it's super creepy We learn how to get our fingers around our emotions and we like sometimes lose a grip But I can tell that I told the student or I taught the lesson try to give me some something personal Somebody give me an active verb somebody doing something and they have like our fingers wrapped around our emotions So you know god bless them like they were they were doing what they did what they did I probably would have put a check mark next to that even though it's still like a little Really silly hmm. Are these check marks here? Those are those are those are just mean good. Yeah, no good Those are those are my recognizing that they're trying to do the lesson.
Okay, all right here. We go feelings actions and words are what we can learn to control So feelings actions and words there are three Somewhat abstract things that we could change by using a metaphor or similes or examples Feelings actions and words can very easily be like our hands and our hearts, right? And that can get that communicates how we are sometimes. Yeah, you're right It's doing me.
Yeah, it's do a suit anyway So feelings actions and words can be yeah can be hands hearts and tongues And we also flip it so it's we can learn to control our hands hearts and tongues exactly yep Learn instead of our in the middle. Yeah Romeo Montague is a perfect picture of being a slave to emotions I want to do is a slave to his motion. Okay. We've also got as we saw it is in that sentence There's a word that can be very easily be the act of noun or the act of verb and it's slave enslaved enslaved and so who's doing the enslaving his emotions Romeo's passions enslave him.
Romeo's emotions enslave him. Yeah. Yeah, isn't slave wise. Well, yeah, isn't slave to the version Yeah, and you want to use the and one of the preferences we haven't talked about is you also want to use the active voice over the passive voice Yeah, so you want the thing in your sentence that is doing the action to be in the forefront of your sentence So you want I visited the city of Boston as opposed to the city of Boston was visited by me This is this is a preference.
There are times when you can break there are times I should break it I do that on the bed Cringy moment of podcast all right. Yeah, so yes, there are times when you would want to use passive voice for sure But by and large I mean I didn't I didn't queue this up as a preference But the thing is when you are changing your sentences around Romeo Montague is a perfect picture of being a slave to emotions The thing that is acting in that sentence is his passions as emotions So if when you do put in when you do take is a slave and put in the verb enslaved Have the emotions being the active thing in that sentence His passions enslaved him is a better construction now Romeo Montague is a picture of being a slave to emotions is really think grammatically wrong No, there's nothing wrong with it If you just had a grammar spell checker or grammar checker on your computer It's not gonna flag it is being wrong grammarly might look at it good at it. Yeah, just tone and You're running stronger. Yeah, um, but if in terms of style in terms of preference like the very just that simple action of putting an active verb in there and having your sentences have concrete examples just Obse absolutely changes it and if you are a reader of lots of volumes of Read if you read for a living in an office at school if you're a student if whatever you're doing you read for a living People's like your contemporaries work when you come across a sentence that has an action verb or has that like concrete example Like exactly when I just said like every lab coat.
They're still there still a man So good like we get that reaction because the words just just like it sings to you off the page And you you'll even forgive the author for the comp for the abstract concepts beforehand if that next sentence comes and it just has that perfect Little simile picture and this was something Lewis was a master of he was very very good at getting those those things all good writers can Can give you concrete examples that act as metaphors to the abstract idea and so mastering that is really important The best way to do that is to try together as many is just sort of Try to be someone who is always has her antenna up for images. Hey, you're actually very good at this You know, you're very good at giving those concrete examples that perfectly encapsulate like the mood into I'll give you a stupid example from this week So it was raining what day was it raining Thursday this week? It was really raining one of these days. There's a big storm Wednesday night Thursday night I was a night and I wore it was really muddy at my house and was muddy at school So I wore my boots I wore big hunter rain boots to school and I always feel like I look like a British hunting gentleman when I wear my big boots over my like My fancy I'm not gonna change into shoes when I get to school.
It's one of my boots all day anyway Well, of course, this is a recipe for students making fun of you And so I was standing in the hall and she was like mr. Dole and say like your boots I was like I don't think you do like my boots in the way that you said this and AJ I sort of jokingly turned you and I said mr. Hanenburg the students are mocking my boots and you remember what you said Something they can mock themselves right in a wet socks Yes, they can mock themselves right into wet socks now This is you are the master at doing this kind of stuff AJ is that that is a such a good example of The abstract concept or the thing you're trying to say is they are Seagrally upset with themselves because they chose the wrong footwear now They're having to suffer wet socks But by making it as like clearly they're not every single student is not making fun of my boots because of their wet socks But that little phrase like encapsulates the fact that the students were jealous of my boots I might even do doing it justice by explaining it But you do you are very good at taking the abstract turning into concrete with an example The plus side of this as a writer is that it is often witty and therefore humorous and you come across as like a jolly person like AJ does Because he has like that sort of That ability to take those abstract things that turn into concrete is quite I actually think it's one of the definitions of charming Like to be charming is to be able to do that kind of thing and so yeah So that but yes, so that example of like they can mock themselves into wet socks like Is a stylistically Yeah, it's communicating a lot in sort of a better style than if you actually took the if you took the time to try to explain that in Like academic pros about why the students were talking about my boots then it would be it would be you know, funny The students won't find it quite as humorous as they themselves have lacked a boots and now have a footwork I would have loved if you were small to go out great the student is a wet footed individual after mocking all students A person who mocks Graham shoes. Anyway, so that's just our little our little like tutorial on if you wanted to like just three I think it's not hard three real fast things that you can do and anything that you write is to try like Eliminate all the nouns you can put verbs in there absolutely murder linking verbs if you find them for word effect in there Like give it no mercy Like run it out of town.
I feel that way about however's yeah, that's fair Yeah, and trying to find concrete examples that really encapsulate the abstract thing you're trying to say and that really is done Yes, I get like we said with similes and metaphors and and I have an example for my favorite essays by Lewis It's the way of glory if you haven't read it. You should read it. It's fantastic. It's about nine pages He says let's see I don't want we are half-hearted creatures filling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joys offered us like an ignorant child Who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because you cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea We are far too easily, please.
Yeah, you know exactly what he's getting at with that And he's not just getting at like children and like mud like he's it is a stand-in for a much more complicated idea Yes, our Lord finds our desires not too strong but too weak If you can sort of master this you'll begin to realize that you'll start doing things like taking out impersonal words like leadership and start putting in personal things like leaders leader or medical professionals and talking about dr. Bob You'll see you sort of start It's actually a lot more charitable to talk about real people in your sentences than to talk about abstract ideas or to talk about people who are Abstract ideas so and so is a thing AJ is a socialist and And and now you can sort of you know and then if you disagree with socialism that is what AJ is and you all of a sudden You are gonna be lacking charity whenever you're talking about Anyway, we can maybe save those that in between but that's the um, that's yeah That's my little tutorial on how to write better and verbs when I came in and maybe was like so what's your podcast on I said verbs You remember your reaction? Yeah? You've gone from plantasian let's do verb episode Hey, the plantasians are coming back.
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