what do you think tap water is is a game arm baby? and chemicals in the water so they turns their frickin' frog's gay- ahhhh! 350 million pounds of Clown- is crap what I would like to see is a grownup an sensible attitude virtually none of you have ever done a proper job grownup and sensible attitude it has not been easy for me any my father gave me a small line of a million dollars for a million dollars for a million dollars it has not been easy for me oh good its me gosh Aea my friends sorta have used to run through the fields of wheat the farmers won't do quies about that not a crap bether former stooder I will pays for the legalsies Oh welcome to episode 249 of the skeptical chaps with myself Spike and my esteemed co-hosts Dr. Dan and Ollie hello hello chaps you survived the heat wave yes it's been I don't know if anyone has noticed it's a bit warm yeah it's a bit warm oh shit oh shit okay let me finish this blurby we can get into it every episode we're answering right about new social media policy current affairs if I can get my words out and put my teeth back inside social your color affairs absolutely anything that annoys everybody likes us and if you are on the age of easily offended you probably should not be listening but Dr.
Dan wants you to listen anyway it's been a while it's been a while chap we've had a break well we've tried to record multiple times and things keep happening and most importantly I'm sure the listeners want to know are the little sausage you dogs okay Spike because the last time we just record you had to cancel the last minute because you had to rush you had to rush a little sausage you dog to the sausage you dog hospital yes he said all the scans and checks and they couldn't find anything so they think it was just food poisoning food poisoning so what do you fred you a little sausage you dog the thing is he's the scavenger he's so he's a rescue and he was stolen he was rescued from the streets and so he's kind of his first year maybe was kept spent scavenging so we struggle when we take him out for walks because he grabs anything he sees so that's kind of part of the problem he must have picked up something in the street it's funny because my son's dog had exactly the same as yours throwing up all night and whatever you and they rushed him to the vet 260 quite late to the vet said well he probably had a slug yeah yeah yeah if I lived on the streets for let's say a year and then some nice people came along and you know gave me a home and a bed and some nice food I don't think if I went for a walk I would still be like you know eating shaobins or whatever they're like as you know I mean that's not how yeah that's not how dogs would want yeah I mean you can change them but once they are conditioned in their first like year or so then it's hard to get that like like default reactions out of them that's not my son's dog's problem my son's dog's just a sickest shit it's the dumbest fucking animal you've ever met and it's got a tension deficit disorder unconvinced oh man can you get dogs me too I mean I don't know how it is certainly as it comes in here when it just bombs around it 100 miles an hour like a bumblebee on that side oh yeah yeah and it just never stops he said to Jack Russell perhaps no it's a bulldog of some description oh okay very large very heavy dog that wow put it this way it jumped on my lap and I thought I was gonna be minus the other testable okay so you survived the heat only and the bulldog okay just about mm-hmm yeah I we should we should tell our listeners that it would have been I know it's been a while but it would have been awfully difficult to us for us to record over the last three four weeks the weather has just been unbearable I would not have been able to sit in this room for an hour yeah I'm the same like my home recording studio he's my home office where I would like when I have to close the windows because I was the noise outside yeah yeah it's been what people in Florida would call pleasantly one yeah we're all good it's the end of the world everyone's always been warm no no this is like record break what are they calling it I'm God Zilla El Niño that's the kind of phase that we're in and yeah so basically just more destructive than the normal El Niño mmm fine times I think at the so the UK broke its highest temperature record for three days in a row yeah we're gonna go like it's the end of the world no everyone's just like oh yeah it's been warm we'll get my streams and they'll buy some air conditioning no no if you keep trying like this like we've been the next five or six years we're all gonna be dead because I just won't survive this sort of level of heat it's just it's gonna be the end hmm anyway anyway shall we go so into it you want to give us your delights then done do you want my tonight all right well it's been a little while so I've got a few of them it's been a scorcher but I I am a genius oh do you want to get my genius way of dealing with a heat oh yeah I have a private pool okay what is that a puddle at the allotment what I did I mentioned by I think about 30 quid I bought an inflatable paddling pool yeah yeah I thought that's a long and I took it down to my lot and I inflated my cover area so that shade and I don't and I filled it from the hose freezing cold water filled with my hose mmm and I what I did last week when it was really scorcher I booked every afternoon off work so I did half days the whole week mmm so by the afternoon when the flats starts to get to warm to be in I broke it off down to the lot and I sat in my room and had beers I bought bags of ice and I took them down there and I just sat there and I just kept saying to myself you're a genius but unfortunately what happened is because the water was so cold because it was just coming straight out of the lotman's hat I think I gave myself like baudeline pneumonia because I was sitting this freezing cold water but like the top half of me sticking out in the nice warm side didn't really notice and yeah I had that horrendous cough and cold thing and yeah yeah yeah yeah that was that was a thing maybe I'm taking a half day for a lady Oli the lady bit we were about four and a half minutes I know we were we were while you were telling a story Oli and I were having a very different discussion yeah carry on keep going it'll sound good on the edit I've done some comedy things I went to I went to a I got to perform at another premiere London comedy club I've talked before about performing at Upper Creek which is in Greenwich a couple of weeks ago I got to perform at Big Belly which is a well-known comedy club on the South Bank I got to perform Phil nickel was the MC is like his his night he runs the headline was Mark Thomas who I've kicked with a number of times before I'm like comedy gods to me and I got to keep him up and I turned up and I messaged Mark head-of-time and I was like stop snogging me because I keep ending up on the same bills as Mark Thomas but I'm delighted by this but I'm just I played off like yeah he's following me I got they did you know if you follow the comedy store on Instagram or any of those sort clubs now and again they put out roughly every week they put out a picture like a backstage picture of the comedians before they're going to go on stage I was in my first one of those oh so I was in the backstage like there's like six comedians on the bill and yeah it's it's me with Phil nickel with Jack Hester with Abigailiah who like MC's the Upper Creek yeah it's me with some really big name comedians backstage out of proper thing and they put the picture out and tagged me and I'm like I'm in the big time I made it so it's all these awesome comedians and Dan and me and me yeah I did a brand new so it was advertised as a new material night and I did about 10 and 11 minutes a brand new material and it's a story that I wanted to tell you guys I got mugged I didn't use one I got mugged in my own flats not like my flat but the building guy living yeah listen to this story and I turned it into a comedy set so it's quite good I left my flat on the way to go to my pub quiz on the Monday was a couple weeks ago and as I walk down the staircase these two 20 issue-year-old guys they block my path and I've been waiting to catch these fucking guys because I know some keeps going into the stack and they need like cigarettes all over stairs and drink bottles and like horrible mess it's probably building carps is stairwell it's like you know them doing damage and I've been waiting to catch them and I bumped into them and I got my phone out and I got my phone out to take a video of them but they didn't know that was where but I had my phone in my hand and one of them he saw me coming out and he snatched my mobile phone I was like he stole my phone and instantly my Ticando ninja reflexes kicked in and I punched him in the face and he dropped my phone and I got my phone and I was like there's comedy gold to be had here right because they're both about 20 years old and genuinely as they ran off one of them shouted there's no need for violence this is what Gen Z even in a money they're trying to define boundaries I'm just I'm not happy but I have a comedy thing a week after this and I thought I'd say in the story and I was like there are you know I could focus on the negatives you know I got mugged in my own home in my own building I could you know this you know make the world seem a more violent horror place but on the plus side I got to punch a Gen Z in the face and I told this story and Irish pubs I did comedy get in and not only did the entire audience cheer an Irish priest who was in the audience started clapping as far as I could said but joke and that acts of violence has been endorsed by the fact of it yeah that was a big thing and basically I turned I made like a 10-11 minute comedy set out this and just how useless the police are and how annoying Gen Z's are and this that one and it became a thing and I rocked a gig at Big Belly which is one of the yeah big comes and that's now a thing so I'm very happy with that and I had a video go viral which one no so I said the latest one on your channel yes mm-hmm I live in South Harrow which has recently been in the news because so what happened was Harrow Council hired through some random company I think these two idiots who are like enforcement officers and they run around finding people that are littering or doing anything dodgy or like anything like a little call but basically a lot of people complain about these idiots because they're like they're just finding people for anything and making sure they're bullying old people and they're like they're targeting teenage girls and things and saying that they saw them drop a piece of litter and then they're not going after like you know people are like flight- tipping couches and fridge or they're on commission into the park they're clearly on commission right yeah so but they the story is I believe they tried to give a fine to some teenage girl and some bloke stepped in who just said to the girl just walk away they're not the police they cannot detain you they cannot demand your details just walk away which she did and then they went fucking nuts but what they didn't know was that this guy was wearing Google glasses so he effectively had a hidden CCTV camera on his face so he filmed the interaction and the video went viral because these two nuttys who are in like these like purple hivis best things with council enforcement one of them in particular is just like you're messing with my money I'm gonna fuck you up I'm gonna knock all your teeth out I'm gonna pull your teeth out he keeps changing it's like he's doing dentistry I don't know what he thinks he's gonna knock it's he's gonna pull it's he's gonna do the people that mess with money grow and he keeps he's like a little one of the ganks there and both of them are clearly quite little short fellas so there was a little bit of like short-hand syndrome going on there was this and the guy with the glasses played it perfectly because he was like and they're like come over here we're gonna go to this alleyway and we're gonna fight and he's like why would I go over there to the alleyway with you I don't want to it's just nuts but they don't absolutely insane the video went viral and everyone's commenting out these guys are all for and loads of other subsequent videos have now come out as well with these two idiots finding people for like next to nothing and whatever right so anyway so these two idiots the video went absolutely viral it was going all it was everywhere I kept seeing it and I just thought to myself this is literally right down the road from where I live it's like five minutes walk from my allotment to get to where this happened so what I did was I went down there a day or two after the video went out and I filmed some stuff I got my girlfriend to film me and I basically stood on the streets like I and I wore my I love South Harotee show I got the Samara fair that the year before and I pretended like I was like a tall guy for South Harrow and I was like hey welcome to South Harrow it's a lovely place it's very friendly oh oh here come two representatives of the Harrow enforcement team and then it cuts to those two idiots going nuts and like when I smash your face in this and I'm like can you tell me what time it is no I tell what time it is bro we're gonna go over here we're gonna murder you I'm gonna take all your money and I'm like could you recommend dentists I'm gonna smash your T-Fap and put your T-Fap I'm gonna put your T-Fap in up in is he interrupted me again oh man this could have been like a really good little bit of podcast material I feel and I'll just just ramble over it oh this is brilliant we shouldn't cut any of this this is just a listener insight into how we are right yeah right yeah I'm trying to put the video together and I put it thousands of thousands of views in like a day it was a great viral and but then what's happened and this is the bit I sort of half predicted I was like an endorsement there's no no such thing as bad yes yes yes yes so I said I bet these two decades who they have been they got fired from the the Herald Council Enforcement Company thing that did the enforcement stuff they got fired from that when as soon as this video came out and loads of other stories have come out about them but I was like I bet you they try to cash in on this and they fucking have they're now putting out their own stupid silly videos where they're sort of recreating it like it's a joke and I was like you've done something pretty horrendous you're threatening to like beat the shit out of members of the public while acting I'm hoping the police go after them while acting in an official capacity you were targeting like teenage girls and old people trying to give them these like made up fines for this than whatever it's like you're a render so renders people you should if you want to put a video out just apologize for like but the best thing probably for you to do is to just do nothing lay low and let this blow over but instead they're playing into it and putting out these videos when they're going like you know what time it is brof and they were in t-shirts now in some of their videos do you know what time it is like it's their catchphrase oh no Jesus Christ if anybody sponsors these dickheads I will boycott any company that's involved in this but I kind of feel a little bit responsible because like my video got thousands and thousands of views it's like how I contributed to their like fame but yeah that that's the thing okay I did say your video it was very good and I enjoyed it they do come across as a bright pair of tossers oh I've actually twat but um I'm a little bit of a local celebrity strangers come up to me on my local high street now any my local pub and like hey we saw your video of those two videos this is pretty fun see I didn't know the backstory so I assume they were people that you'd sort of like hired to be part of the skit you thought I hired actors so not active but friend friend friends no they were already infamous before I did my video I was sharing their video of the original video you know I don't read the video now I have class oh well they're good for you but that's the point where I mean I keep an eye on what's happening the day my mother reads it so they don't they actually can't ask you to pull your video because they're not giving consent for their image it's an interesting question I think the video is so prolific and it's out there anyway I think I'm the least of their problems okay to get rid of my video it's the one thing I would say and I don't want to defend them really in any way but both of the guys who did the counter enforcement videos I'm guessing they're both like Muslims I would assume a lot of the comments but chunk of the comments on my video is I got a lot of right I keep this keeps hanging to me I get a lot of far right people I'm not surprised and saying oh yeah they're coming over here they're doing this I was like they're just dickheads you don't have to focus on their religion or their ethnicity or their horrible horrible people don't get me wrong but you don't need to make it racist when you criticize them and this that one is yeah yeah exactly they do well these are opportunists basically the racist comment is exactly that yeah so yeah that was a thing and I have a new YouTube channel thing if people want to check it out it's on my normal YouTube which is Dan Morris comedy Dan drinks beer Dan drinks beer now I'm doing beer reviews in my in my beer cabin I'm drinking weird beers and I'm giving them I'm trying to keep the videos under three minutes so it's just I drink the beer I just go that's nice or I go oh that's all one of the other but if you keep down to three minutes it becomes a YouTube short and I've discovered those get a lot more views than if you do long videos we actually explain anything I saw the new he-man film oh oh yeah power of grey stoke grey stoke yeah yeah it's fucking awful not a dance like that's a dance this mate you do surprise me oh oh it's so bad it's scall gender but it really is it's like there's bits earlier in the film where Adam's son of attorney he's sitting in like a desk with a he-him placard in front of him very much he is he-man but it's just it's so over the top it's cheesy as hell it's full of all of these like gay sexual puns that you're not sure it's like fist him fisto give him some head ram man and he's just like he's like winks to the camera that you're just like oh my god what the hell is this yeah I don't know I think I wanna say 12 I would guess if I was a little bit of a lie man for like eight year old so yeah I love team man I love it yes I couldn't stand it but then I don't like it night well you're you're a bit older that's I had castle grace yeah I had my own little plastic castle grace guy when you know the story with the he-man action figures is that somebody basically made the action figures with no plot or story in mind and then they brought in a cartoon guy and just said right to make a story here's the thing and they just make a story up and they were like all the big muscley guy over sword that can be he-man and then they were like okay and this one here that could be his mate that could be like man arms and it's like oh let's give him a tiger we've got a plastic tiger yeah we can throw that in the mix as well and he lives in castle grace going like a black-called skilator yeah there you go I mean the original that was the only good bit in the new he-man film spoiler alert is dolflungren who was he-man in the he-man film from I want to say the 80s when the last he-man film came out yeah I probably missed that one I'm awesome oh it's awful that wasn't well trust me it's a lot better than the new one well yeah anyway dolflungren who played he-man in the original I want to say 80s he-man film he has a cameo in the new one and that's the only good bit of the film I would argue because you've got dolflungren give a little nod to cameras like yeah that's me I'm actually he-man so okay and there that's all my delights awesome uh that was only 45 minutes um oh what's what's coming out of your arabistin yeah I haven't given that a lot of thought about um we've only had a couple of months yeah I've been upgrading things I've um I got sick of uh google home because it's um complete and utter shit when it comes to giving reminders uh or it'll give the reminder and actually trying to retrieve it from it is like a whole saga in itself so I upgraded to um the Amazon ones the name of which I yeah there's no way to say yeah yeah if you say like sir it's gonna break everything yeah yeah um you can summon some millionaire bullions to go to the moon basically you get you don't know what to do basically yeah yeah and they are infinitely better as to be said um and I've just taken delivery of two new lamps but they live in room that are sort of smart lamps govy and they do all the different colors and all that sort of shit and so that's so they're rather nice so that's that's pleased me um have you got their motion sensors or you just about basically voice activating them um they I voice activate them they have got motion sensors uh the motion sensors work for you it works for me yeah no i'm talking about all the e-baly moves is the motion sensor uh yeah but my amazon echo things i've got the motion sensors built into them uh huh um but i haven't bothered part in about with that if it's dark i ask the lights to come on if it's not i ask them to go off it's not you know free yeah straightforward so but yeah i mean i'm going to please uh a vast improvement on the google ecosystem very nice uh yeah i've got like a thousand rules set up for different kind of luminosity strengths and what to do and when someone walks in and if nobody's in the room for more than ten minutes and i've got all these lights on and lights off rules and they work but it's not really well it's not a light switch jesus christ the only thing i like i read i read i read a thing i think we sit on the podcast a while ago there was a guy who had he sat up a macro where if he said you know alexa intruder alert it would like start it would turn all the lights off and then it would release the rumbus i was gonna choose something i don't know yet uh okay uh i've done series three of um the walking dead darald eksen i've still yet to watch any of them that was very good that was probably the best one yeah actually is it yeah i really like that one um so yeah i recommend that and there was a series on bbc i player called the mother of all cons which i've never seen that one yeah is that the one with the old lady who who who lies about being the guy's mother no oh okay oh no i thought it's a chef i've talked about that one before that's not that's not that that's something else no this is a woman but con mum that was con mum yes yes there was con mum yes this is a woman with a sick daughter and oh i've seen the trailer for this is she actually sick or not is that it can be a massive spoiler if you tell us she is sick um yeah not with what the mother is claiming and it does have twists and turns but it's uh what she says it's really athletes foot well it's uh it's a whole rabbit hole to go down it's fascinating uh so i definitely recommend that it actually reminds me of somebody um on tiktok who's um a serial liar there's a tiktok user um who sits on tiktok every night faking seizures and just two um two feeding tubes up her nose which she doesn't require wow just sympathy for likes or whatever yeah it's kind of an attention thing i think yeah she's just she's just an evil evil person she's uh yeah yeah i'm not going to mention a name she's easy enough to find but yeah anyone she's uh she's infamous well there was the documentary about the Australian girl i think it was who was um you know she was trying to kind of uh her nutrition kind of uh uh bresim and books and videos and all these type of things and then she claims she had cancer oh yeah yeah and then they found out that actually she had none of it she lied to everyone yeah remember that one yeah there's a there's a new one that's just hit net for x today um called bad neighbors or the bad neighbors something like that uh huh i was hoping i was gonna get time to watch it but things kind of got away from me today so i i didn't but that that's that's something i recommend because it does look very good mm-hmm and i'm having me windows painted which if anyone gives a shit about that this is what this is the content the listeners have about you having your windows painted what type of paint is it color? oh yeah it's it's undercoat at the moment oh wow he's tempting us with more so we can have a follow-up next episode yeah next episode it will be gloss oh wow amazing i guess i guess it's time for spike spark oh it's something else did wander into my head but it wandered straight back out again i don't know what that was on interact spike when i remember yeah you can i'll think of you can because i have not much to to say i think i've been sweating my balls off for the last four weeks um yeah that was um i i i i i don't particularly nasty funny terms during the heatwave we did we were gonna record and then you went i've had a funny time yes i can't i can't be turning up to be called because i did you fall over and couldn't get up we're gonna what happened oh yeah i went time um i lost consciousness oh um they think it was probably a severe hypo combined with the heat just sort of wiped me out and yeah it wasn't uh it wasn't pleasant so do you have one of those smart watches that when you fall it automatically contacts the hospital or something that's what he needs another device setting out random alerts for things no um they they the doctor keeps trying to persuade me to buy a full detector but they cost a fucking fortune and they think i should have um glucose meters as well you know the stick on yeah glucose meters they've given me one for a four time you need a what they call those animals you get like a dog or a weather any and i think it's mostly dogs but you can get different animals yeah yeah animal knows the animal knows you're about to like die before you do and it will go and get you like a fizzy drink or like it will suddenly be like it will pour it in you'll be like oh shit my man died and then find it be like yeah yeah you are they're gonna get you and then find it will go to the fridge and it'll bring you like a mask bar or something and then you live yeah or or you die and fight it it's you yeah one of the two yeah yeah um yeah i haven't got a four detector i know i do probably need one but i mean they're about 50 quid a month and then glucose meters yeah then the constant glucose meters to have one of those because if you type one diabetic you automatically qualify from on the NHS type two don't which i think if you're initially independent type two thus no different from being type one apart from your born with it it's just discriminatory in my opinion and so it costs 58 pains if you know if you like continue your lifestyle surely you'll reach the best you'll reach type one surely if you know i'm sure you can get that i'm striving for to be type one reach for the stars you know it's type one not something that you can develop no no you're not i thought type two was like the pathway to type one no no no no learn something type type one is that the pancreas doesn't produce insulin and that's the end of that um type two is your pancreas stops developing insulin properly oh what because of your really unhealthy lifestyle usually yeah yeah yeah is there a type three that's like on the way to two or one or there it there is a type three um it's incredibly rare extract your pancreas yeah it's not what i know anything about if i'm honest um but these constant glucose monitors cost 60 pangs 58 pangs every 15 days wow so over a hundred good a month so we got we got under his parents these kind of full monitor watch type stuff it's a one of cost probably around 50 pounds and that's it you're registered with a thingy and and they'll monitor for the rest of your life basically but the funny thing is they refuse to wait for a for detector yeah and no subscription no subscription yeah can you get me the details of that no i just say not i was all you might say you're gonna have to move to Hungary for that because that's in Hungary oh in bloody Hungary well that's a lot of fucking use isn't that but i'm just saying they got it off their NHS system one of payment and they they're registered for the rest of their lives no for a good a month thing can you not just program your Alexa so that every five minutes just says you're right and if you say if you don't respond it like you know calls a fiber gate to keep you door down this is a reminder tick pinkin oh god if you finish this let me know you're done with the reminder otherwise i'll say can you muter for an hour fucking unplug the bitch unplug the bitch i've heard that before somewhere just ignore it anyway i was saying i don't have much um i've had my head mainly in work for the last four weeks five weeks you won an award i won an award yes my team i saw you won the whole you yeah you posted some pictures and there was lots of i mean you mentioned this i think in the previous episode but there was lots of posh people yes you won something else off of that didn't you or am i just remember yeah we want to two the two separate events yeah the one was the kind of business analytics event and the one was the UK AI awards so apparently we're doing we're doing good so you're doing good at the UK AI awards yeah i won the Jesus look like contestant yeah yeah and i did a talk at the london ai week the same thing the same thing that uh our ex president world was at prime minister sorry kia starman we've got president now yeah um so yeah i mean i've been i noticed that nobody mentioned that delighted them but we've proved he lost an appriamish though yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so it's quite a part of the chorus nowadays yeah i'm surprised he lasted that long so am i have you guys seen before we end my uh uh uh spark section we can go to that that other delight we just touched on um have you guys seen the new rikid your vase adult cartoon thing starting on netflix next month i have not it's called alicats and i saw the trailer and uh it looks really good so it's a kind of you know south bark or family guy style thing that's created by rikid your vase and it's starting on netflix i think i think in a couple of weeks time i enjoyed he used to have a cartoon where it was with the carpenter yeah yeah yeah where it was just i think it was a podcast or a radio show and then they made a cartoon out of it and that actually was i found that quite funny i found out a lot funnier than he stand up it looks like it's the same style comedy as that okay yeah so maybe i like it all right i might have to give that one a try yeah mmm i'll have a look at it i'm not a dure vase fan i'm kind of going overwhelmed there's a bunch of me every time i see them on t-bay yeah other than that which is weird because you sort of look a bit like you could be a rikid your vase you know it's a lot of vase in you know similar in yeah thank you rikid your vase if rikid your vase went great and and became a type two diabetic i am offended sir and got and got a load of tattoos i don't know there's something though do you do you think i'm getting more david brent no no i'm only kidding all right wait that's all it's right so that all that stuff like is it time for the confessions yeah god do you remember when we had a show when there was a format yes yeah all right it really it's me the sanctity yes these are the confessions from the atfistle blue sky accounts because i'm not going on what's what they're calling twitter now x this not c's or whatever it was oh man that's not going to be to talk about that uh x-space x IPO disaster i was just wondering um i'm a complete sidetrack why spike has a mannequin behind him in a dress um it's a sextal oh it's uh i find it best not to ask such questions under a selling a lot of uh clothes that she no longer wears so that's for um vented pictures oh okay oh she's bought a mannequin to show off the clothes no she didn't buy it she got it from a friend so all right she got okay all right she acquired a mannequin to put there all right so here you go okay all right i don't know if this is what we fascinated by that people here i guess these are the facels uh from the atfistle blue sky accounts because i don't do the twitters anymore um all right and ollie in his capacity as a former monk can choose to forgive or condemn indeed uh i've got my children i've got a bunch of these uh i'm guessing this is from a lady i went on a date last night and he claims that he was an on a folar foam oh what is that meaning meaning he was afraid of belly buttons oh was really tempted to deliberately scare him by showing mine but thought maybe that's what he wanted to pull that so i left him and went home oh man there are belly bands um too much psychology involved there yeah oh that that's one phobia i've never heard of um yes i'm not sure if i'm pronouncing it correctly but yeah omp photophobe yeah how does he get on when he gets in the bath or the shower i mean he must get him if he looks back at his own belly button or just other people's belly buttons what does he think the belly button's gonna do to him that's what i was just gonna ask yeah we just don't like looking at them they gross him out all right we doesn't like belly button anyway we're not about him about her she's ditched him because he's he's been opening on his first date i would argue he's told her his fears they're just fear of belly buttons i mean that's gonna make sexy well you can just you could just take it up just my big gaffer take over it enough before we uh pray about it okay um yeah what are you thinking ollie are we feeling this she's did she did she pay for her meal or did was there a meal we don't know did she did she offer so did she just run out did she sneak out the bathroom window we're not really sure just as he left him and went home mmm that's a difficult one because i can sort of see it from both sides but i don't think it's a very nice thing to do so no i'm not gonna forgive her i think she should have accommodated his uh phobia weird phobia yeah yeah because i know what it's like to have a phobia admittedly not one quite as weird as that all right next one when i met my partner he joked that he was a bit clumsy but this was a huge understatement i've saved him from death at least five times including stopping him walking upon a speeding bus electrocution and choking i want to break up but i'm scared he won't last the week without me uh yeah okay oh yeah i'm definitely forgive that because um yeah i don't do like this one so much as asking for forgiveness is they're asking for advice should they break up with the like yeah run run to the hill yeah yeah yeah this is only a matter of time before he accidentally stabs you to death with a butternut is it all right next one uh this is someone de confessing on behalf of their mother-in-law oh uh mother-in-law's fess she has dementia oh and it makes her randy oh okay she's been kicked out of nursing home for shagging all the rest of us including one old man who had a wife who visited and found her in his bed oh very funny but less amusing is the fact that she's now coming to live with us i mean you can't be angry at a lady with dementia yeah i can relate to that because i used to have a little old lady called gladdis who is 92 when i worked in the care homes before i went into nursing and she used to follow me around she was as randy as how she punched my heart she used to escape for a hobby she was amazing she just to get out no nobody actually got it but she used to escape but she loved it a bit she was hilarious so yeah i mean it doesn't happen to forgive there really because dementia is a bitch and you know if you can um it is indeed just an adventure to the bad self yeah yeah all right next one my 27 year old daughter is getting married to a wonderful man that the family adores all good so far yeah what's weird is that he and she have the same first name we need to know what the name is it's got Leslie or something surely sam or could be sam robin what's not going to be fucking terrible what is it it's one of those names that works for any gender i mean still i don't see a problem plus they look like they could be siblings or even twins it's creepy as wow oh yes their kids are gonna look fucking mental i i've had this a couple of times my life i've known people where the part they like they bring in their partner and you're like you're brother and you're like no no this is my husband and you're like oh shit yeah it's like your kid's gonna look like there's not much genetic diversity going on there um anyway yeah um well do we forgive the person who is their daughter um i guess they're asking for forgiveness for thinking that their daughter's partner and is he creepiest fuck yeah um yeah i think i forgive that because ew all right i've got a couple more my grandad is convinced a seagull named sally has been stalking him since the 1970s because he destroyed her nest why does he destroy her nest we don't know um although it sounds mad i secretly believe him especially after i took him for a lunch and a seagull swoops at his head and he shouted back when will this end sally i think that's just your grandad having lost but uh yeah who do they want me to forgive grandad or the seagull um well i guess the idiot that believes their grandad seagull story seagulls don't live 50 years do they um no so yeah i i i mean it's harmless yeah i'll forgive that well most of them are harmless to be fair we don't get many questions there actually i murdered somebody mmm not true not least because i fucking hate seagulls ooh right last one for this episode i do apologize i farted so loudly in my sleep once it woke me and my wife up she was convinced we would be in burgle to make me go check oh man i mean i'm assuming then he hasn't just confessed us to to her that that's what happens she's gone all that and he's gone oh i don't know and she's like i think there's someone else there's and he's gone yes there might yeah yeah no i forgive that as well because um the man's allowed a bit of discretion if he wants to uh enjoy a good fart and wake the neighborhood then good for him bravo sir oh that was the confessions that was fun is it time for the snopes game yay oh yes welcome to the snopes game spank don't get it wrong indeed um yes i have used chat gpt which i might have to replace with claud in the near future because i think flaud is better yeah claud spike you're an expert yes should i be using flauds to generate it is my list of snopes article best model at the moment on on almost all benchmark okay all right there you go yes i got chadgbt i've told it gather me some snopes articles i've i've asked it to give me ones that are true faults and i've asked it to mix mix them 50 50 okay wherever it has i do not know uh right first one fact check was a man arrested for posing as a museum tour guide and inventing fake histories for paintings i want to see this is true we don't know what museum it is i'm hoping it's the looove i'm hoping to point it to point it to the moment lee said just made up a load of bullshit yeah this was painted by dave harris of 1922 that was painted that on there yes right what do we all think Get ready. Three, two, one, real. Oh, we are in trouble.
Don't spike an ISA in false. Ollie is saying true. I'd love this to be true, but I think it's false. I really hope it's true.
I'm going to lose a point here. I kind of hope it's true, but I guess it's... Yeah. Oh, I click the link.
Wow. Ollie, see, this is what happens when you don't do the podcast often enough. You get out of practice, my friend. Ollie, get your natures to satire.
That's the false! Ooh, yes. Oh, yes. Did Ollie just lose his 100%?
Oh, this is a recent one. In June, 2026, a man named Ethan Caldwell was arrested after posing as a museum tour guide and inventing fake histories for paintings. Oh, brilliant. I kind of really want that to be true.
Did I ever tell you guys a few years ago, I went to the Whiskey Show in London and there was an area at the Whiskey Show where they had other drinks. There was like a London section and Bacardi had a stand. And for some reason, the staff that manned the Bacardi stand, they bucketed off before the show ended. And I was quite tired of being walking around drinking a lot of whiskey.
So I went and sat behind the Bacardi booth. And all these people came up and said, asking me questions about Bacardi. And I just started making a shit up. And I started telling them that there was a competition and if I get me 50 quid, we could get them to Hawaii in this.
That's still what you make or else I went from. And my mate was standing there pissing himself off because he was like, you did it so deadpan. I didn't take any money off anybody, I should point out. But the people on the neighbouring stands, they just went along with it because they were like, I can't believe he's destroying.
Wow. This feels like that. That's a bit of like you should be in the confessions. Yeah.
Do you think I'm not ashamed of that I'm proud of it? What I was going to say, I would forgive it. Oh, okay. Well, I'm not asking for your forgiveness.
Don't I give a fuck what you think? I'm not an idiot, so I'm a fresh Hulk. Right. Yeah, but that's good.
Dan Wright, Spike Wright. All he wrong. Yes, you are correct. You are correct, Spike.
He's just lost his 100% of the year. Unbelievable, Jeff. He's now at 91.67%, which is also what you've got, Spike. You've only got one wrong this year.
Well, I've had two wrong. So unfortunately, I'm in last place at the moment. But yeah, there you go. All right, next one.
This is World Cup related, I'm assuming. Oh, well, that goes another point. That's Czech. Did Scotland fans place a traffic cone on the Lincoln Memorial statue in Washington, DC?
I love the idea again that this is true. But did that happen? I know this one. So I've got a con exactly.
I know this one. I've got an exactly go last, but yeah, I know this one. Oh, we don't do that anymore. We all reveal together, so here we go.
Three, two, one, real. We're all saying false. Oh, I kind of want this to be true. Oh, there's a picture.
And it's clearly AI as fuck. There was a picture. Yeah. The Lincoln thing with a traffic cone on his head.
For a start, can I just, before I hand you this roll down, but I'm going to be assuming this is full. I mean, the picture looks fake as fuck. I'm assuming this is full. But just to throw this out there, in America, that don't have traffic cones, like we have traffic cones in the UK.
I don't think they look the same. This is like, I mean, Scottish, I mean, football fans anywhere in the UK, anybody in the UK, you go out drinking, you grab a traffic cone and you put it somewhere silly. Yeah. It's part of the course.
It's what you're just what you're doing. Yeah, what shopping, shopping, trolley. Yes. And a shopping trolley in the canal.
That's just what you do. I've got the link. I'll scroll down. It's folks.
Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Also from June 2026, an image circulated online showing the statue of former US President Abraham Lincoln wearing a traffic cone hat. Yeah. Allegedly, Scottish fans. No, they didn't.
It's not true. It's AI generated or something. Yeah, that's not a thing. But that's going to be all get point.
So my percentage has increased. That's still one behind. Right. Next one.
Fact check. Did Gordon Ramsay throw Tim Wolfs out of Hell's kitchen? Now, I've got to be honest. I know Gordon Ramsay is.
I don't know who Tim Wolfs is. Does anyone know Tim Wolfs is? No. Yeah.
He said he was coming out of the house. The governor of... Yeah. He's the governor of...
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was...
He was Kamala Harris's running mate. Yeah. He was... Oh.
He would have been the VP. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah.
So in an alternate universe, instead of what's his name? What's his name? What's Trump's name? What's Trump's name?
J.D. J. Vance. Vance.
Vance. Vance. That's J.D. Vance.
Yeah. He's gone. Yeah, Pence is his first term. Ah, okay.
Yeah. Yeah. So instead of Vance is the other one. All right.
Okay. But in an alternate universe, we could have a President, Harris and Tim Wolfs. And Tim Wolfs, yeah. Yeah.
But did Gordon Ramsay throw him out of Hell's Kitchen? Isn't that the show and not the restaurant or is it the restaurant as well? There's so many things I don't know in this one. Three, two, one reveal.
I'm just saying false because I don't know what any of these things are. Yeah. We're all saying false. Okay.
I think Hell's Kitchen is the show. Right? I have no idea. That's why I do.
It's the show. Yeah. I think it's the show. I mean, the show does have a restaurant.
I think I'll pick the link. Labeled satire. That's false. There you go.
Damn right. Spike right. Oli right. Um.
Yeah. It's a rumor surfaced in September 2024. The Gordon Ramsay kicked Minnesota Governor Tim Walsh off his reality TV cooking competition, Hell's Kitchen. Okay.
Oh, so off the, um, Apparently I can use a contestant. Oh, okay. Well, I guess it's false. This is fake.
Okay. Well, apparently he, in the fake story, he caught him a woke creep. Okay. But that didn't happen.
So whatever. Okay. That's good. All got a point.
Next one. This is very similar. Fact check. The last one was Gordon Ramsay.
This one did Guy Fieri. That's another chef. These are chef. I know who that is.
Did he throw Tom Hanks? I know who that is. That's for a scum. Because he was on Godly and woke.
I have his wife is Guy Fieri very anti-antiboke. Fine. And very Godly. I don't know.
But three, two, one. We're all saying false. I think this is just one of those AI things for the format, isn't it? The sense of what he's saying.
I don't know who Guy Fieri is. He's a celebrity chef that looks like a bit. He's got like bleach blonde hair and a goatee and sunglasses. He looks a bit like Spike.
He's like a spike. Oh, they did a parody of him on American dad. Quite possibly. Yeah.
Yeah. I do remember that. Anyway, it's false. It's false.
It's not a real thing. We all got another point. That's all. Like very much chat GPT for picking an easy one.
Next one. Facts check. Did Elon Musk once punched Don Lemon? Once punched Don Lemon in the face.
Did Elon Musk punch Don Lemon in the face? Did Elon Musk once punched Don Lemon in the face? I mean, 3-2-1 reveal. I'm sorry, false.
Real simple. Elon Musk, I imagine he got bullied pretty hard in primary school by kindergarten girls. Exactly. I don't think Elon Musk could punch a fly.
He's such a little bitch is Elon Musk. And just by the way, I'm a very macho man. Because I punched a guy who stole my phone. I punched a phone mugger.
I punched a mugger. I'm going to be like Elon Musk. You look like Elon Musk. You think I look fucking...
Look, what the fuck is that? I look like fucking those. I look like... I'm fucking T-Tuber telling me I'm like fucking Rekki Jovagic.
I look like... This has been one of the podcasts. This part of the podcast so far. I look like Alan from 2 and a half men.
Everybody I'd say whenever I do a comedy gig that's almost always my own new joke. Can you just quickly do your South African accent? I just want to... Oh, and if you do the accent, then you know...
Now I can see... Now I can see Elon Musk. Yes, I can. You reckon?
Hang on a minute. Does Alan from 2 and a half men look like Elon Musk? I don't think he does. Is it quite?
What do you call an African on the moon? Lost. An astronaut, you fucking racist. Anyway, did Elon Musk punch Don Lemon in the face?
We've all said false, I believe. Yes. Oh, it doesn't have a bad... I don't even know Don Lemon is, but anyway.
Chat, GPT is fucked up. He's a former CNN news anchor. He's very good. I like Don Lemon.
He was a CNN anchor. Just fooling him right now. Okay, yeah. I've seen him before.
Yeah. I've got... There's two snobs, articles with this. I've got the second one, Hasabana, and it is labeled satire.
It is false. So, yeah, there we go. That did not happen. We all get another point.
So, SpaceX IPO. Let's see if we can talk about Elon Musk. Dan's still soggin because I said he looked like Elon Musk. I think he doesn't like Elon Musk.
Can you do a little bit? What? I'm a human male. What?
No, it's the eyes. It's the eyes. It's it. I don't want Musk eyes.
It's all in the eyes, Dan. It's all in the eyes. Yeah. Well, maybe that could be another comedy angle for me.
I mean, I'm on Elon Musk and everyone will be like, Oh, I've never seen two and a half men. So, I don't know that joke. I've heard you tell that joke about 20 times, and it still goes over my head. I've shown you pictures before of Alan from Two and a Half Men.
Oh, you don't expect you to remember that. You've had comments about it. I do look like him. So, yeah.
Although, I don't think I do. I've got to tell you what I'm like, Matt Damon. So, um... Oh.
Well, if he was involved in some sort of horrendous accident, he'd be told a lot of way. I couldn't even assume so, yeah. Yeah. This was when I was young and better looking, and I still didn't get it.
I like, have you seen those videos where it's a meme, where it's somebody, you know, tripping over a dustbin or whatever? But before it, they got the little clip where they just go, My God, that's Jason Bourne. And then it cuts to someone being a fucking idiot. Oh, dude.
So, we should do that with Ollie. Which is like, My God, that's Jason Bourne. Hello, I'm Ollie. I do a punch-lush.
I very, very turned up and I do diabetic. I turn up more than you. You were here last time you fucked off to the pub. I pumped off to the pub.
Because nobody responded that they were coming to the thing. I understood all this bloody equipment. Oh, it's all coming out. Yeah, I literally spawned.
You can't even wait 15 minutes. I respawned about 15 minutes after your mission done. You were at the pub already. It's a big, communication is important.
It's the keystone of any relationships. The 10th of them. I'm going to send this message. It's if no response in seven minutes, I'm gone.
No response in seven minutes. I can have another point. Yeah, I'll. I've had a few points today.
I've had four points today. But the thing is, I'm on a bit of a health kick at the moment. So I went for a run earlier. I did 5k run.
It's really hot. So I really dehydrated. I just had a salad for lunch. And then I went to the pub after working at four points.
So I'm like, I'm dangerously inebriated. Wow. Doing well for dangerously inebriated. You think?
Yeah. That was a shock. You had a salad for my team yesterday. Mm.
Fuck off. False. False. Fake news.
So I went to point. No way. Was that your starter? I'm telling you no.
I'm out of it. I'm in it. I'm in it. This salad that you had.
Did it come alongside combat? No. I think only time I could see you having a salad. It came along half a joint of Gaman and New Vegas.
And a big slab of jeans. Yeah, that's more like two forch eggs and two forch rolls. Right. So it was a side set.
You also had a salad. You had a side salad. Alongside a load of unhealthy foods. It was kind of like a playman's on.
Check that I had three playmans. Right. Last one. All right.
Let's do it. Let's do it. I would like to just say that Chaggy PT, when it gave me a list of these, and it said that the last one, which is the one we're about to do, it said this one is plausible enough to split a room. Oh.
Oh. Chaggy PT. I'm very sure it's very sure of itself. Very sure of itself on this one that we're going to, yeah, that we're not all going to about the same way.
Let's see if it's correct. Right. Flaxjack. Did the Chicago Sun Times publish a summer reading list?
Concerning books that do not exist. I like this one. I like this one. Has some idea, A.I.
Don't list the books and then probably that's what happened there. I like this one. That's what's happened. Yeah.
Oh, I'm ready. Okay. We don't lose time. We don't lose time.
Publish a summer reading list containing books that do not exist. Three, two, one. Reveal. Oh, I'm saying folks.
Spike and Ollie are saying true. I want the soul to be true. Do you know what? Do you know what my thought process is?
My thought process is give some credit to the journalists at the Chicago Sun Times. But I've got no idea. Is that a right-wing newspaper? No, it's an American newspaper.
They could be fucking idiots. I don't know. Well, Chicago is a fairly progressive set. It's a left-wing.
Yeah. Well, I spent quite a lot of time there. But I don't know about the Chicago Times. But I can see somebody being lazy enough to say, ah, fuck it.
Remind me how you both voted? We voted true. We are in trouble. I see the look on the entry.
True. Yeah. Unfortunately, it's true. Oh, fuck.
Oh, I tried to mislead you there. Oh, I've recovered my lead from Dan. Ah, brilliant. You didn't have a, I was never in contention.
Dan Wrong again. Spike Right, Ollie Right. Oh, God. You didn't do that.
You did one closer when I dropped one. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
I'm reading the article right now. So the context, then it's true. The Sun Times published an AI-generated summer reading list. So give me the book.
To revise the newspaper to the newspaper. I'm mockingbird. Yeah. It says the newspaper staff did not generate the list.
Yeah, but someone published it. So that shouldn't have happened. This was in May 2025. A room of spread online at Chicago Sun Times used our official tellers to publish a summer reading list featuring books that do not exist.
Oh, of rats and all. It is accurate to say that the Sun Times did publish a summer reading list filled with fake AI-generated books. And the snopes, thus we rate this claim true. Wow.
However, however, the content did not originate with the Sun Times editorial team, but with King Features, a media distribution company. Yeah. Oh, I guess they're connected to the Sun Times somehow. Apparently it was in a special summer section called Heat Index.
Come on, yeah, but what are fake books? That's what I want to know. So it hallucinated some books that do not exist. The first book that does not exist is Tied Water Dreams by Isabelle Alunde, a multi-generational saga set in a coastal town where magical realism meets environmental activism.
OK. OK. I like Oli's one. What was up to her resuscitate to mockingbird?
She used to resuscitate mockingbird. Yeah. Apparently she is a real author who does write books in the magical realism genre, but that's not one of her books. It just made up a title and then said that she wrote it.
50 Shades of Beige. The Tiny Gatsby. Oh, this is weird one. So one of the books is called Migrations, which they believe is a real book that is found this realm and the description matches a real book, but it gave it to a different author.
So it made up an author and said that they wrote this book that someone else would written. So yeah, you've got a double check your AI. There's been multiple things now where there's like lawyers of like filed legal things and there's like fake cases in the. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cases that don't exist. Yeah. So a case that doesn't exist, yeah. So we are actually developing models that actually check how the level of consistency and accuracy of the AI output.
Well, can you go to the question? I've actually done some AI training courses recently. Do you know what they call it when an AI makes something up? Hallucination.
I bet Spike knows. Yes, it is. It's hallucinations. Really?
Yeah. If AI makes some shit up, it's hallucination. It's not just lying or can we get away with that? I'm sorry.
I hallucinated that answer. Yeah. But yeah, that was the Snubsky. Yay.
That was fun. That was a good Snubs game. Yeah, we had a good little one. Much fun tonight.
Do we want to talk about the news? We want to talk about some stories? There's such a lot that happened. I mean, we don't want the Prime Minister situation, the space X thing, the, what do we want to talk about?
Well, I think we're a UK Potter. I think we should focus on the UK Prime Minister. So, Keir Starmer is going to be leaving, but he's still in office at the moment, which is kind of weird, isn't it? If you normally when you hand your notes in, I think they should.
I think some companies will just escort you out of building and like pull your shit in a brown box. Right? I think that should be the case. And the reason for that is because in case the employee decides to like, you know, delete the corporate database or like insult the customers or do something that will haunt the company.
He's the Prime Minister. Potentially, he's a nuclear power like the Trump. He probably can the UK Prime Minister launch nuclear missiles? Like does he own a black box brief?
Well, they call it a football. What do they call it? They call it a, can Keir Starmer launch our nukes? We have nukes.
They're on, we don't know where they are, but we've got nukes. They're somewhere. If he quesars, be it me, shouldn't be able to stay in the job. He should be gone.
Surely, why do you freak out and do something on my app? What do you freak out? Yeah, but we hire relatively normal people. Yeah, that is true.
That is true. We might not always agree with them, but they're not absolute fucking nut-cating mind you. We could end up in the garage, though. There was a certain, what's the name?
Hang on a minute. Hang on a minute. You think we have normal people running this country? Can I just throw out some names at you and let's just see how you can do my comparison to Donald Trump?
Listen to us. That's the name I was looking for, yeah. Arguably, Rishi Sunak. I have very posh friends and there's some middle-class friends.
There's some working-class friends. Actually, no, I don't have any working-class friends. Or middle-class friends. Actually, come to think of it.
I'd worth billions. Littstrassly gets into office and just be like, Oh, oopsie, I've just cost this all $450 billion somehow. I don't even know what I did. It's all conspiracy, though.
It wasn't my fault. Yeah, but no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Hello, I'm going to go into the COVID ward.
Shake hands and everybody. Bro, no, no, no. I've got COVID. Those people are not as stupid as Donald Trump.
The only difference with Donald Trump is that he's got a lot more money and supporters behind him than those five people. Well, none of them. Or equally as stupid. None of them.
No, no, no. They've started a war with Iran and then can't get the deal that he wants. None of them have threatened to genocide an entire country. Yeah.
Littstrass got outlasted by a lettuce. She did not have time to start a war. That's good. No, but she was.
Littstrass didn't have time to start a car. You can say exactly what you want about Boris and all the others, but Littstrass was the worst of the bunch. I have a thing for comedy purposes. I'm hoping we get a Tory Prime Minister again, because they're funny.
When we get there, they're either so evil or so stupid that there is comedy gold to be had. When the Labour people get a useless Prime Minister in, they're just boring. Even the scandals. Keir Stump, what's the worst scandal or backhander that anybody can say that that man took or did?
Or we got free tickets to an Arsenal game? He's the Prime Minister of the country. Do you want him buying tickets sitting in the stands with the other rest of the people? What's the Prime Minister?
He's the Prime Minister. He offered a paedophile to mate in office. Yeah. Did he?
Is that a thing? Yeah. Who's that? Yeah, the...
Mandy. Men, Mendelssohn. Oh, Mendelssohn. Yeah, but that's just bad.
Like fact checking or didn't check his CD or something. I don't know. But he got him out again. Well, yeah.
Yeah. All right. That's not a great... That's not saying I fucked a badger, but I pulled out in the end.
Is it? I don't know what he's to say. But anyway, now we're going to have good old Andy. But it's not the same as Bojo.
Is it Bojo was comic gold? I mean, Bojo was a Trump. Yeah, he was... Oh, yeah.
He didn't care about the details. And you had Theresa May, who was just so darlic, she somehow made dol funny. Yeah. He had to run through the fields of wheat and all this bollies.
Oh, we're going to have a good Brexit here. Yeah, of course we are Theresa. Yeah, well done. Yeah.
You know, the Tory ones are funnier. Yeah, John. John Major was known for being... He's the grey man because he's so boring.
Yeah. They're just boring. There's no comedies to be had under them. They're just boring.
I mean, if Farridge gets in as Prime Minister, I want to immigrate. But at the same time, the comedy potential will be amazing. Well, does this thing have a Prime Minister? You have to have a qualification to be a doctor, to be a lawyer, to be whatever.
Prime Minister, you don't need any qualification. No. You just need to sell a dream. Well, this is why I think we should completely shake up the sister.
And I think politicians and lawmakers and stuff, it should be like jury duty. You just randomly grab some people, and they have to do it, but not for very long. And if they fuck things up, it doesn't matter, because you get rid of them in a week, and then you bring some other people in to do the job. And let's just see how we get on then.
I mean, if you win and they're not allowed to profit from it, they're not allowed to... In fact, it could be anonymous, like a jury. You're not allowed to know who they are. It's just like make some decisions, make some stuff, job done.
Yeah, I see that's why you should have qualifications, because that wouldn't apply if you were a cardiac surgeon, would it? No. Well, I fucked up a few, but... Or you bring in a random group of people, and then you give them a quiz on general knowledge of the world and the UK economy and stuff.
And the ones that score the highest, they're the ones that get to be my random, like, like, jury pool of politicians for the week. And then you do the same the next week, and get some other people in. Well, that would decimate reform. Yeah, they wouldn't party anymore.
I'm not that imparted, we get rid of all of that shit. I think I need to take power. I think I'd be a very benevolent king. And I will still give a lot of control back to the people, but with some rules I'd bring in.
Yeah. I don't think we need a parliament and all this stuff. And the idea of a shadow government. We've got a bunch of people over here who...
they're ready to do the job, in case you don't do the job. But what actually they do is just boo and heckle you while you do the job. That wouldn't happen in any other industry. Yeah.
If you work at McDonald's, there's not a second group of staff. It's a shadow government, thank you. How shit that you'd cut the fries off of the toilet, is it? That's not a thing.
Yeah, I mean, this is what is endlessly discussed in philosophy classes, because democracy is not perfect, but we don't have a better system. We do, I've just given you one. It's an Intelliockracy. And you randomly select people, and then you test them, and the smartest ones, they get to be the leader, but just for a week.
Okay. How much damage could you do in a week? Oh, I could... Do you want to say a reminder?
Even his trust took a fortnight to reintroduce some damage. I'm sorry, you should. Anyway, that's my system. Anything else going on there?
There's the footy standing. What copy is on? Lots of people have bought tickets to the World Cup in America, and then found out that these have been cancelled at the last minute. Can't fuck you, dude.
I love the fact that FIFA kind of flashes on the big screens in the stadium. 88,000 attendance, whatever. But then you see, you can actually see so many empty seats, and it's like, there's no way this 88,000. I didn't know that many tickets, but I pushed you, they didn't manage to get there.
Have you seen Trump State Fair? What is that? No. They've got a big State Fair in Washington, where all 50 states have like stalls and stuff like that.
And he's put up a big arch, like the replica of the arch that he wants to build to himself. That's falling to pieces. And we must talk about his reflecting call as well. And almost forced to take his name off the...
Yeah, we'll get to those. But we'll see. The Kennedy Center, whatever we'll see. The State Fair is hilarious, because you've got a big Fox News booth looking right over it, and they sit in there, and they say, we've got thousands and thousands of people coming in.
There's literally no one there. I've never seen a fair. So, darling, our county fair has more people. It's genuinely pathetic to look at.
It's embarrassingly bad. And there was a guy arrested dressed as... I think he was dressed as kind of like Uncle Sam in this kind of like MAGA flag uniform and all that. He was arrested for masturbating in front of one of the fans that were playing.
Oh, no. Which Donald's beautiful State Fair. The reflecting pool is a very good metaphor for the whole Trump President. So, I'm not 100% that this is the case, but what I read was, Obama installed some filters in the reflecting pool to keep the water clean.
They installed some filters, whatever they were. Yeah, but they were basically bubblers, I think they're called. Whatever they were. Yeah, Obama installed something to keep the water clean in the reflecting pool thing.
Is that why it's called the reflecting pool? Yeah. It's the thing next to the... Is it the Washington Monument, isn't it?
Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that big... Yeah. So, Obama installed some stuff, and then Trump people came in and were like, we hate everything Obama has done, and let's undo everything Obama has ever done.
Let's take out the water filter thingies, and then the water started going really shitty, and they were like, let's install some plasticky shit around the edge of it. That'll fix the problem. And they're like, it's amazing plastic, and there's all these clips of Trump going, oh, it's the best, you can't even cut it, it's cut proof, and then like, cuts to someone cut it with a knife. Someone's slicing, trying to cut it.
There's a lot of junk just floating to the surface. Yeah, all the water turned like neon green, and just like, and then people started turning up to take pictures and to take chunks of the breaking off shit for the souvenirs, and then they had to deploy the National Guard around thing to like, threaten to show anybody that went near it. People are being arrested for dipping their hands in there, and that's why he's calling the Vandals, and it's far enough Vandals who did it all. Never mind the fact he drove his fucking beast and his entire motorcade over the surface of the whole thing.
Did he? Yeah, I'm sure that did it a power of good. It's quite a big pot, neither, that's going to matter, but yes, it's big, we know it's big, because he's got a chart showing us how big it is by comparison to skyscrapers. I've seen that, he's very obsessed with the idea that his pool is bigger than a skyscraper, it's like, yeah, but if you had to build one thing tomorrow, what would be more achievable, to build a big pool or a big skyscraper?
Exactly. Give it enough time, I could make that pool. Yeah, I don't think I could make a skyscraper. Here's the thing, he never built the fucking thing, it's been there for centuries.
I was taking credit, like it is. Maybe he thinks that they just built it during his, it's not, he's completely oblivious to everything that's going on around him. It wouldn't surprise me. What's happening with his ballroom thing that's going to cost like $400 billion or whatever it is, and they have UFC events and stuff, is that still happening?
Yeah, as far as I know, it was up to a billion now, I think, because they're going to put drones on the roof, likely to. And it's going to have an underground secure area and all this sort of shit, so they need it for national security in this ballroom. Oh, is there going to be like, because they always say, under, do you remember when we had that secret service agent on the podcast? And I tried to ask him what was underneath the White House?
And he got very cagey at that, he's like, I'm not going to curl in once, they're, I can't be telling you what's there, no, no, no, no, no, no. Go on, tell us, what's going on? But do you reckon now they're building this big news thing? There's going to be even more secret stuff on to that.
And that's why it costs $450 million, because there's actually like a massive complex underneath it as well. That's why he wants something, there is a bit complex, but maybe he knows what something is White House. Yeah. Well, whatever, who knows?
I'm not going to America. I'm not going to America until Trump is out of office, but a bunch of my poker buddies who, I went, I went last year and, yeah, they tried, I know Trump was it, but I'm not going again until he's out. But yeah, they're going this year again, they've already put their tickets. But one of our group is he holds dual nationality.
He has a UK passport, but he also has an Iranian passport. Oh, oh, he's got good combination. And he has, because of that, he has to have a visa to go to. Which he's got, he's got a visa, but I'm like, Ali, you are going to come on Toronto, obey my friend.
There is no fucking way. It's like, why are you risking this trip? And he's like, well, because I got my visa, he's got one year left. It's like his last chance to go to the state to our Trump's in office, because he probably won't be able to get it renewed.