#255: Mega Tennis Report: Miami Open!!! or If We Had Girlfriends, We're Pretty Sure They’d Want to Shower With Us

Maya and Amy open the show asking: Tiger Woods, why don’t you get a driver?!?!? On to the Miami Open. The ladies stay in a new place. Maya is naive about hotel stairwell treasures. Walking down a Florida street is always an adventure. The ladies buy the perfect amount of vacation groceries, and if you have ever been on vacation, you know how hard this is. Maya makes the best breakfast ever. The Miami Open DID NOT DISAPPOINT. Amy and Maya look for the good swag. No, they did not get the $100 hot dog. You are talking to hot dog purists. Don’t waste your Wagyu on a hot dog. The ladies have their amazing seats again next to the player’s box with coaches and family. Hailey Baptist is sitting a few seats away. First match: Jannik Sinner vs. Frances Tiafoe. Sinner’s forehands are the hardest a human can hit anything. Seeing Martina Navratilova causes Amy an injury. Coco Gauff wears a hat? Martina, Cocoa, Big Foe, and Sinner! The Uber home was a “premium experience” filled with war movie explosions, machine gun fire, and Werther’s Originals. The gals also get “back in the tank”. If you know, you know. The best product came from two nerds who don’t have girlfriends, but they’re pretty sure if they did, said girlfriends would want to shower with them. Amy and Maya have a great rooftop dinner starring an amazing Euro-trash DJ and a tiny, angry man. Best trip ever!