26. People Pleasing Almost Broke Me — Here's What I Had to Unlearn

I spent years making everyone comfortable, and for a long time, it worked. It made me good at reading rooms, smoothing tension, staying dependable, and being the person people could count on. But as I sat down for this solo birthday episode, reflecting on one of the hardest years of my life, I realized how much of that “strength” was actually my people pleaser trying to keep me safe.What I’m learning is that people pleasing can look like leadership, kindness, and strength from the outside, while underneath it can become self-abandonment. When your need to be liked starts overriding your values, your presence, your boundaries, and your ability to ask for help, something has to change.If you are a high-achieving people pleaser who is exhausted from fixing, managing, performing, and keeping everyone else comfortable, I hope this feels like a hand on your shoulder. We’re talking about how to stop people-pleasing, how to sit with the discomfort of disappointing others, and how to reclaim your needs before burnout makes the choice for you.Inside this episode• Why this birthday reflection brought my people-pleasing into focus • Why people-pleasing can become a career survival strategy • The leadership cost of staying silent to keep the peace • How managing everyone’s emotions keeps you from being present • Why is no one pleased when you stop pleasing • How to reclaim your values, boundaries, and needs without losing your worth