#26 - Toxic relationship or just tough?

A toxic relationship is when two people in a relationship become reactive to each other's reactions, also known as a defensive-defensive cycle. They are unwilling or unable to keep their composure in certain situations without becoming defensive.  Having the right tools can help to get out of toxic moments. But we need to be able to identify those moments.5 Personality traits that contribute to toxic relationships:1.       Strong mismatched attachment styles (see podcast on attachment styles for more information)2.       Borderline personality features  3.       Narcissistic personality disorder traits4.        Codependency5.       Lack of skills5 components that contribute to a toxic relationship:1.       Lack of respect2.       Constant conflict3.       Control and manipulation4.       Lack of support5.       Emotional and/or physical abuseImproving a toxic relationship:1.       Focus on understanding your partner instead of defending yourself.2.       Write down your triggers and prepare desired responses for when these triggers occur.3.     Seek help from a trusted therapist.  Taking control of how we show up in a relationship allows for change in the relationship itself.   Get your own copy of  - You Can Turn Conflict into Closeness