#265 | The Venus Fly Trap: Love, Borderline Personality Disorder, and the Relationships That Change You

What draws someone back to a relationship they know is hurting them — and what does it take to finally walk away?In this episode, Todd sits down with author and spiritual counselor Stephen Paul Edwards, whose memoir The Venus Fly Trap chronicles one of the most intense, chaotic, and revealing relationships of his life. Named by the woman at the center of it all, the title says everything — and nothing you're quite prepared for.Stephen shares openly about falling hard for a woman he recognized early on as dangerous, and staying anyway. What follows is a candid, often funny conversation about gaslighting, borderline personality disorder (BPD), childhood trauma, and the complicated reality that toxic relationships are rarely all bad.Todd and Stephen dig into why smart, self-aware people end up in relationships that slowly erode their sense of reality, what BPD actually looks like to live alongside, and why the partner on the receiving end often blames themselves.They also explore the current sexual revolution — shifting attitudes around monogamy, sexuality, and identity — and whether polyamory or monogamy can both be done well or badly depending on the people involved.At the heart of it all is the work Todd talks about with clients regularly: facing the parts of ourselves we've spent a lifetime hiding. Stephen's memoir forced him to stop running and look inward — the same work that often marks the difference between a relationship that survives and one that doesn't.If you've ever stayed past the point you should have, this one will feel familiar.Access a free copy of Stephen's bonus book, The Venus Flytrap: Madness and Mayhem here: https://bit.ly/3MvAtAaTo learn more about Stephen's book or access free resources, visit VFT23.com. If this episode brought something up in your own relationship, reach out to Todd at toddcreager.com. Check out my complete program "From Bickering & Escalating to Connecting & Loving" for more in-depth guidance: https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/loving-connecting-masterclass If this episode resonates with you, please share it with someone who could benefit and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more couples who are ready to transform their lives.Check out my complete program "From Bickering & Escalating to Connecting & Loving" for more in-depth guidance: https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/loving-connecting-masterclassTodd Creager, LCSW, LMFTTodd is a sex expert and therapist in Huntington Beach.  He provides relationship coaching to couples throughout the world and in Orange County including Irvine, Newport Beach, Corona del Mar, Laguna Beach, Seal Beach and Long Beach.  (714) 848-2288.You can find more tips and resources from Todd Creager at:  https://toddcreager.com  HELPFUL LINKS:Get your FREE copy of Healing Infidelity From The Inside Out https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/heal-infidelity Secrets to a Sexy Marriage:  https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/sexy-marriage-secrets7 Ways to Divorce Proof Your Marriage: https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/optin-DPYMBe...