hintck, hintck, hintck, hintck... You are incognito, Katty I was incognito You're like so stealthy like the Pevil LOT of guys, he doesn't even know you're there, unless you spoke or something Well, if you recall, you were at my place the other day, and you logged in as Libby, so I have to go into So? So it's my fault that this took so long to get working Isn't it always? That's right, because I'm a man.
I'm a man. And I'm to blame for everything because I'm a man. You have the penis. It's not my fault.
If you carry the penis, you carry the blame. Bam, there's a button right there. If you carry the... It's a gospel song for the Church of Cok.
If you carry the penis, you take the blame. Goosh, goosh, goosh, goosh. Holy spirit of Cok. Glory to Jesus, no.
Glory to God. No. Stop it. Thank you, Headly.
That's not because of the Headly of the show sponsor. I'm sure he's going to be so happy to hear that. True worship of Cok, what? I don't know.
We're all... Yeah, okay. I'm going to put down a guitar now. You haven't had your guitar now in a while on the show.
I miss it. I miss having a place and a thing and a... Yeah, I just... You know.
Yeah. I hear you, man. Kathy! Buggy!
Kathy! I get it. I get it, Kathy. I had an epiphany.
And it's going to sound weird. It's going to sound like a weird epiphany. But I have one. Okay.
I just have to interject here and say that all your epiphany is always sound weird. What's the price? Okay. Well, then I have consistency, which is another epiphany because I never really thought I was consistent.
But no. I get it because we're getting all these letters. They're like all supported. They're like, Hey, keep going.
Keep going, Buggy. It's cool. You guys are going through all this stuff and yet you still do a show. It's like I live in a car and you're locked in your sister's place.
You know, we're dealing with all this shit. You know, and sparing our listeners a lot of details, a lot of very ugly details. So we can keep the show fun and be positive and come on. And I just all of a sudden realized is I'm setting up and the computer's now dying.
and everything else is dying in my life. And I'm constantly trying to go, gotta get a show, gotta get a show, gotta get a show. And then the show starts and then I'm supposed to be like, but ah, you know, hey, it's a show. And I realized that's actually a hard thing to do.
Yeah. It's like after all this, after years of being insane and manic this and that and all the things and then just turning around and just do a show. And I realized that might seem really hard for some people. That's your epiphany?
It is. It's hard to have a miserable shitty life and then turn around and perform and try to give coherent information and keep my head in the game. And you know, and you have to keep your head in the game. And it's like all this stuff that we go through in our regular lives, which is not glamorous right now.
You know, and then to turn around and all of a sudden be like, hey, let's pick up the guitar and sing a song about cock. You know, I'm like, for a lot of people, that must seem like really hard to do. Well, for a lot of people that is really hard to do, you know, just cause you got used to it. I mean, it's not.
I just, Leah Spencer and I just call it going on Broadway. Just gonna do it. Here we go. Showtime curtain goes up and action.
You're very Bob Fosse in that way. Jazz hands. Jazz hands. Who the hell's Bob Fosse?
Isn't that the guy that tells us about the diseases and stuff? Oh my God, really? He was a choreographer. He did Chicago and Sweet Charity.
He was one of those famous jazz hands. That's Bob Fosse. Bob Fosse made up jazz hands? Well, God damn, is he still alive?
Unfortunately, he passed away. Well, then God damn it, let's just take a moment and I'll hold up our hands and make jazz hands and memory of Bob! Yo Bob! Yeah!
The following show is for mature audiences only. Listener discretion is advised. And if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself. One, two, three, four!
Do you feel your sex life is quite lame? Scared that your desires might be strange? Come and join the Kinky World of Play. Perfered it like that.
Jazz hands. Jazz hands. Go, Kathy! That's you, you go first.
Oh, right! Hello, welcome to Bird and Firecast, the show where we explore the adventures of the Kinky Lifestyle Sex and byversion with jazz hands! Yeah! Recording lives from different places as Boogie and I try and put together a coherent show for you.
And fail miserably, I'm Kathy! I am Count Boogie and damn it, Kathy! It's a day. You're a little manic right now.
I'm a little manic, but I'm also very excited because I like the topics that we're going to be talking about today. And of course, I love it when we can finally get to, I can't call it hate mail because they were nice, but it was challenge mail and they challenge something that we said on the show or did on the show. And I'm like, oh my God! It's like so rare that people speak up and tell me I'm full of shit or they think I'm full of shit that I'm very excited to talk about it and have a conversation about it.
So we're going to get to that a little bit later. But right now, yes, Kathy, I'm a little manic. And it's been a little rough because obviously the cases have not gone down. The opening that we did in Los Angeles isn't going to last.
The restaurants have now been shut down. Things are shut down. I took a shower this morning at the gym, hoping that it's not my last workout and shower. The gym's only been open for two weeks in three months.
I've had like five showers. So I'm kind of like, well, we're going to see what happens. So there's a little bit of tension. Just going to say a little bit of tension.
So it kind of came to a boil. You know, it's always that one little thing, that little thing. Like here, Kathy, you and I are very resilient. We've had challenging, interesting lives.
Obviously people in the world have had much greater challenges than us, but we're not going to denote the fact that you and I have had some challenges in our life. So this is challenging right now. It's pretty hard. So I'm getting food.
You know, I've had a rough day, manic, blah, blah, blah, you know, cut, cut, you know, all that stuff. And I'm in the car and I'm like, I'm going to go and get some food. And I want a sandwich because somehow that's like, you know, I've now put my sanity on this, you know, food, you know, it's going to, you know, got eating disorder, you know, comfort food, you know, it's, it's not whatever. Fuck it.
Go get some ham, go get some English muffins, you know, whatever's cheap and, you know, food's nappy. And, you know, I put it all together. I mustard in my dash, a glove box because that's how it makes. Who doesn't?
I mean, who doesn't? I have sriracha mustard and all of my Taco Bell and Dell taco hot sauces in my glove box. And that's, you know, where my little kitchen in the car. So I get my stuff.
I put it in the whole time. The bugs are now coming back, which means I'm allergic to bug bites. So I'm starting to be eaten alive, which makes me more mental on top of that because the heat's coming back now. So in my car, there's now a bug.
And when there's a bug in your car, you have to get it out or it's going to torment you in that small space until it dies. Oh, yeah. Or you die. So there's this little bug and I don't know if it's a bitey bug, but it's kind of like a little fly thing and it's like one of those fucking bugs that doesn't have a filter and it's like, I'm going to fuck with you.
I'm going to buzz around your ear. I'm going to buzz up your nose. I'm going to get in your business because I don't know better. I don't understand that you're 75,000 times bigger than me and you want every ounce of your soul wants me dead.
But I don't care. I'm going to fuck with you. I'm going to eat my sandwich and it keeps landing on my fucking bread and it keeps buzzing around my face and I'm like a fucking swear to God. He's going to eat my fucking sandwich and it's just buzzing around and I'm going to land on my phone.
So I get the sandwich ready and I take a bite of the sandwich and the thing's still kind of there and I'm just fucking I swear to God bug. Just let me eat my fucking sandwich because I'm losing it and the fucking bug lands right on my bike like where I just bit like right in the middle of the fucking sandwich bite on the meat where you know that teeth mark right in the middle. Just please tell me you didn't go all postal on a bug. Cathy in that moment.
The only thing I could do because you want to slam it you know you get a shot at the bug. You got to take the shot. You know sometimes you break your finger sometimes you break a car window sometimes you break something but the bug has to die. So you know you take the sweat.
I didn't want to sweat at my sandwich and so I'm like you fucking sort of a fucking bitch and all I could do was as fast as I could I fucking bit and I ate that fucking bug. Fuck you bug. So I thought it was way by my mouth. I just went hmm and I sat and I chewed.
I chewed Cathy with that look of death in my face like fuck you. Because you got to push down that revulsion that I just intentionally ate a bug. Yes I'm revolved right now. Let me just ask you something before I continue.
No I can't find a therapist Cathy. It was this a real thing that happened. Oh yeah this was yesterday or day before yesterday. I knew something was going to go bad when you called me your dysfunctional friend and went all you know baby talk on me.
You know my friend. Yeah you know my dysfunctional friend. We can be dysfunctional together. You need to get her.
You get to stop me and I'll make you chocolate milk like I make for you. I was a scary moment and I thought this is not going to be good what's the show going to be like is he's going to have a fucking story. But never in my wildest dreams did I think that you would tell me you ate a bug just to get your revenge. Just to stop it.
Just to I just want to eat my sandwich. I got to say that the size of the bug is going to weigh heavily in my decision to continue with this show. Was it a tiny net? It was a meat it was like in between a small fly and a net so it was like a medium there.
I mean definitely if it was the only thing in my mouth I might have felt a teeny little crunch. Okay that's the difference there's a difference between a net and a huge fucking house fly. Yeah I would have sucked that thing in. I didn't taste anything and when I farted later I laughed I really laughed I said there goes that soul.
Well I got to tell you as a fellow food addict I get you I get the this is my one comfort food right now and you had the fucking nerve to land on it I you know I would have done something drastic too. It's so fitting that I have a song for this and I will put it at the end of the show it's an EDM song that I make it's my favorite EDM songs I ever made and it's called I ate a bug which I never thought would come to true. Well here's the thing I watch Pig Patrol the fishing guy I think he's in Nebraska or whatever I love his channel I just watch him fish he's really cool he doesn't give a fuck he's he's down to earth he's got a really cute girlfriend and he's always out there fishing at night with the lamp and so bugs are flying around his head and he's always like the swallow bug. Swallow bug spit got it but you're fishing so I guess that's part of so I think maybe there was a part of me that I wanted to connect with the outdoorsiness of the pig patrol guy and that's a good spin to put on it that's why you did it.
Isn't it great that I. Shit enjoy yourself Kathy just enjoy yourself. Hey man it's not my fault I'm trying that's a lot of post-doc reasoning you're doing right there. Shut up.
Just putting on fat life stuff so you can stop fucking giggling. Uncontrolable giggling at my expense might I say. It's like you like you can't contain her laughter at me there's like are you laughing with me or at me it's like no this is definitely an at you moment. But you realize that your way of dealing with you have a few ways of dealing with this and one of them happens to be to inject humor in it and to give someone else that story in humor and so the rest of us are laughing because that's what you're doing but there is a kind of.
Sadistic love. Well we don't know what to do when you come at us with these stories about eating a bug because it dared to land on your sandwich. I mean what do you do we either going to call the guys with a butterfly nets or we're going to laugh along with you right. Hey are you all you all you all you all you all you all you all I do Warner Brothers all the time I get the net time.
Okay. Let's go on show. Oh I do have something to talk about. No I really don't because every time that you give me a story like this I actually I'm not doing that great but I am more stable than you right now we just happen to be at places in the past I've been worse and you and I have gone up and down that scale and right now I am definitely more stable than doing better and so I think gee maybe I shouldn't follow up boogie's I ate a bug story with creative explorer and I drove down PCH and ate some fish and chips on the 4th of July and had a good time.
It's good though. I love how you voice got really high. I got that. Bless your heart.
Bless your precious fucking heart. It's not nice you didn't drove down. Did you give him a little hand jobby in the car? No we actually couldn't eat we went to Neptune's net which is a really great fish and chips place but because it's closed there they're doing something really interesting and creative they're doing this drive through service so you pull into the parking lot you order and then they hand it to you and then you got to go find someplace to eat but guess what?
LA decided to close all of the beaches this weekend because as we spoke about already so what they're way of really getting people not to go to the beach is to basically prohibit parking along the entire PCH area so they've got cones up everywhere you can't even pull up on the side of PCH and just sit in your car and look out at the ocean. So we're like we got these fish and chips what do we do we do that we had to find a neighborhood somewhere and go and park and eat it on our laps and then they call doing on the police. They're not strange people eating fish and chips on our lawn. Our 75 million dollar fucking Malibu home is now being infringed upon by these crazy fish and chip eaters.
That's exactly right it was a really hoity-toity neighborhood and we're like someone's gonna call a fucking cops on. Of course. For your piece of mine please know that the author of every post we talk about has specifically granted us permission to do so in this week we have someone who has my absolute favorite screen name so far. That's saying something it's a lot of years we've been doing this right.
Wow I didn't even pay attention to the screen name what is this illustrious name. I don't think you're gonna know what it is frankly it's Mr. Darcy now I am a huge Jane Austin fan and Pride and Prejudice is my favorite novel and Mr. Darcy is my favorite you know male hero character he's just amazing and when I saw this I'm like oh Mr.
Darcy. So this is this represents your number one spank bank go to Master Basin Guy. You know it's hard to beat Mr. Darcy I mean there's a lot of great older novels out there whether he heights his great but Mr.
Darcy yeah I was out there I don't think you could write a better male character even some of the more modern ones. It's just one of my favorites so Mr. I'm like well I'm already just prejudiced in favor of this guy let me see what he's got to offering you know. You're like I got a little bit of moistness in your chair you're like let's I don't care what the fuck this guy wrote man he could be writing about a crapping on a pile of marshmallows and it'd be great thank you Mr.
Darcy. He's also got some fucking balls choosing that name because I can't tell you that's a lot to live up to. And I'm sure now you've made him feel very comfortable. Very grateful that he gave you permission right.
I got this crazy ass show I was fucking ah I thought it was a joke I didn't know what it was my girlfriend calls me Mr. Darcy. I thought that was I thought that was from fucking that married with children. Marcy Darcy he was Mr.
Darcy wasn't he? I have no clues. I have no clue but so no I don't even I don't know anything about our poster as usual I make a point not to look at their profiles because I don't want to be prejudiced in favor of or against them in any way. I want the post to stand on his own so I just thought the name was cool and he wrote a post called it's okay to ask.
Yes it's very nice he says I had someone message me recently they were relatively new to Kink and they wanted some advice the question related to how to get her down to do more of a particular thing she wanted my answer was very simple ask a dynamic should be satisfying and fulfilling for both you choose to give your submission but that doesn't mean you give up your right to have a say in your own desires and needs unless that's what you discuss and agree to if you're not in a relationship or dynamic where you can feel you can communicate openly either because you feel that you'll be shot down or just because they don't want to hear anything other than their own voice then maybe it's not the right one for you too many use kink as an excuse to angrily boss people around without any actual regard for the person that is so willing to do what they can to please and obey every dynamic is different but it should always be okay to ask it should definitely be taken on board and perhaps agree to and if you're a very good girl we may even let you have it oh mr. Darcy oh you know after you see that you read that line you're just like oh mr. Darcy that was a good thing for him to say how many times did you read the last line of that guy's post thinking of mr. Darcy in your mind and after that get out of my head twice okay just to be clear it wasn't this dude it was the fictional character mr.
Darcy i got off to okay yeah but because the name is mr. Darcy you kind of have his voice while you're reading this voice and you're like mr. Darcy is so wise it is true you should be able to ask whenever you want i love him it this is so good this validates my love for mr. Darcy i'm gonna get that sucks get that such a cup vibrator that headly bought me and fucking your mind i'm not gonna say do you know this is to this day i have had two chances to use that fucking thing you know why because i've only had two times where i am alone and can pull that thing out and not worry about anybody walking into my room because there's no lock on my door well and there's always somebody in the fucking house and i really have to experiment with this thing this isn't a quickie you know two in the morning under the covers one two three i got it down right no this is my work has some sounds that's what mine sound like they're pretty pathetic at 52 i think it's coming i think uh uh that's great yay me i really need to test them alone time so i can pull out that thing and get more proficient in it boogie headly potted for you you got to use it you got to just get in the car and go up to the mountains try to attract a wild deer or something with your moans do you i guess i got this image in my head of me trying in my car to use that thing you know i've all people should understand what it's like for a fat person to try and master bait it's not easy you got to find the chunk first well which means you got to be in a lying down position or on your side no no because yours is right out front of you mine is between my legs i have to be lying on my back with my legs wide open and not worry not get it be able to get out of my own head and not worry because someone might walk in and or hear the noise you know what mr darcy could figure out how to get that fucking jewel working i'm sure mr darcy who lives in pemberley would absolute you know what the problem is is that every fucking time i pretend i'm mr darcy i always turn into a scarlet o' hair accent when he is from england it's like no it's set in england it's not down south god damn it i know we've got way off the pride and prejudice deep in here most of the listeners are gonna be like shut up caddy already with your stupid mr darcy and i'm sure the poster is like you know i wrote a blog i thought they were gonna talk about it it's been fucking 19 hours on my god damn name i don't even know what it means i gave him a fuck a permission this is what i gave him for us this fucking poor dude won't make that mistake again okay back to the post i'm now dizzy with a caffeine addict um we all right okay here's here's my thought on this because i read this post mr darcy said what i would hope someone would say in this regard when somebody asks is it okay to ask the answer of course overwhelmingly yes the answer undoubtedly you have the right to ask whatever you want regardless of what your dynamic is even if you have negotiated if you have negotiated that you are not allowed to ask you can still ask there is no law on the books that says you can't ask a question now then the other person may reject you the other person may look disappointed and fuck with your head you know there are absolutely a number of responses but it is exciting to me for other reasons scathy this topic is exciting to me to other reasons and that is that it is so good to revisit the basics yes and this is a kink basic that you ask that anyone that tells you you can't ask is trying to take away you they're trying to make you not a person and make you a thing and after you had asked and talked about it and negotiated what level of person or thing you're going to be for that person then by all means you know if the dynamic is hot and you like it and you like giving up all your control and not having any say or ability to ask for things that you like or more of something that you like like this post talked about then that's fine too but it's exciting that we get to revisit these basics and I know for our perverted podcast listeners and myself I'm like we've talked about this probably 30 times in the history of the show so it's kind of for me it's exciting because when I focus on those basics as a person who's been in the lifestyle for 11 whatever 12 years now it excites me because it's so easy train car I have to say it every time every you can't even hear it Kathy you can barely hear a kid playing in the in the street and a car would be coming someone would yell car and everybody would decide right so yes just know perverted podcast listeners that are newly turning in I live by the train my storage is by the train tracks so when we revisit this it is so easy to forget those basics so of course to the new person I absolutely agree ask these are all the foundational things that we tell people that are new to the lifestyle that have those honest questions am I supposed to do this because I read in a romance novel that we're not supposed to do this and that's bad form or something so but to the people that have been in the lifestyle it is so important because it's itty roads those basics will erode over time negotiation which we're going to talk about in a little bit um consent self-identifying self-actualization all of those basics is so easy to forget so it's actually very positive to come back as an experienced person in the lifestyle and revisit those basics that's why it was so great teaching orientation because I'll forget shit I will absolutely forget shit yeah and from I have to say that from from the submissive or the bottoms point of view um you know there may be two legitimate reasons that I can think about the top of my head that definitely played into you know my have played into my life and number one is probably the easiest to dispel and that is that you're you're new and you don't really you have a misunderstanding about the dynamic of the power exchange you don't really get it you someone either saw your bill of goods or you read something and you you've landed on this misconception and you assume that as a submissive or the bottom you're not actually allowed to ask for anything that it's actually poor form which that one again as I say easy to dispel listen to anybody who's been in the in the community and they will tell you you know you absolutely fucking need to ask for what you want and speak up and communicate so it may seem counterintuitive because you were submissive as you're told how is a submissive who has to do as she's told gonna ask for something but that's it is it is an actual thing the other thing is that you may be a person who just has a problem asking for things throughout their entire life and that one's a much harder one to deal with because you're now in a dynamic in a relationship in which communication and asking for things is is so important to the success of that relationship that you're gonna have to find a way to get over it and that's the category that I have fallen into because even now when it's definitely gotten easier but sometimes when I have to verbalize either something that I'm asking creative explorer or something that is difficult for me to say it's like fucking nails on a chalkboard it's so hard to do and I'm cringing the entire time and I'm fumbling over my words it is not fun is what I'm saying don't don't don't get a bat you know upset with yourself if you go through it and you fluster and you just do it all wrong that is something everybody who hasn't this issue is going to go through just fucking get through it don't worry about what it sounds like or what it looks like you're going to have to ask and and I do like that he says that if unless that's your dynamic because there absolutely are people in this community who have that dynamic and the ones with integrity and responsibility who engender that kind of really great respect are the ones who say it up front they will flat out tell you this is a dynamic that I want I don't I'm not I'm someone who lays down the law and while I will listen to you it's really going to be my say that that is going to take control most of the time you have to be okay with that I don't agree with that and I would never get into a relationship like that but you got to respect someone who lays it all out online and knows ahead of time this is what I want and there are people that are looking for that yeah there are absolutely bottoms submissive types that are absolutely looking for that but once again I don't know I think about that and I heard that come out of my mouth I still don't think that you can say something up front and say this is how it is and fuck you and I'm the law and whatever I think there still needs to be some sort of check-in I don't know maybe monthly by monthly to where you reevaluate that because there are changes in feelings and we actually got a question about that I don't think we're going to deal with it in the show that talks about feelings in the DS dynamic and what do you do and how do you navigate that but I think even if you lay down the law that there is a certain responsibility as people change and emotions change and whatever to revisit that so that way it's not something that gets lost and eroded kind of like those basics I talked about a second ago that it is important to reestablish this is what we did and in some ways that's what the contract is for that you when you do a DS or MS contract with your partners that it's all written out this is what we agreed to you signed it you agreed to it so if you want to know what we're thinking look at the contract right so I think some of those things are kind of important because it is easy to get over time things do change and the dominant may change and the dominant may be like wow I just kind of want to be more of a daddy right now this whole controlling when you pee thing is getting old that's exactly it's it's exhausting but I will say that we don't talk about this it's not a popular thing to talk about a lot but there are communities out there there are people who follow the whole goryan rules who really get into and not as any play as a lifestyle who get into the whole I am the master and you don't have a say and my rules are very strict now they're not necessarily that popular as a whole in the BDSM community but they do exist and I don't I think we would be doing a disservice to our listeners if we didn't at least discuss the fact or at least bring that up that you might encounter a group of people or one person or a whole community who that's those are the rules that they that they live under just be aware that that's just one thing that happens out there it's not the only thing well I think that's kind of important and I think that's really and once again we're going to tread on thin ice with a certain community that the entire MS leather community for many years that was at the forefront that this is how it worked the old guard and you did this and you started as a submissive and then you worked your way up and became a master and there's all these rules and traditions and this is how it works and this is you know it's very very organized and of course there was tons of infighting and you know righteousness just like any church of who has the most perfect MS relationship but as it probably about 10 years ago a thought came in to most of the BDSM communities that hey what if people just got to do what they wanted to do and we it wasn't an automatic you're going to come into this lifestyle if you're a female you're going to be a submissive if you're a male you're going to be a dominant there's no such thing as a switch because that's just obviously a confused person once that started to leave and people got to choose for themselves we have noticed a great reduction in the master slave the 24-7 master slave community because it is true most people do not want that most people want to be more free they want to switch they don't want to have a full-time dynamic you know and that's wonderful that the community of people that want that dynamic have the ability to be there that the MS community the leather community the goryan community all of those kind of traditional rigid communities they have the ability to be there and to have classes and teach but there was a lot of butthurt that happened when people started going I don't I don't want to do master slave 24-7 I don't want to I don't want to do this yeah so there was a lot of that pullback because there was a lot of changes and so there was a struggle period that we went through and hopefully we're getting to a more neutral place where it's like hey there's a lot of different communities and we can now all be together under this umbrella of whatever you want to call it you know can't be dsm sexually alternative lifestyles and such yeah so if you're listening to this that's just a lot that's a good thing to take it to remember is that you there's a lot of history there you're not alone if you're a little confused the bottom line is you got to do what feels right for you and and work your way through it as you go along it's okay to ask extra tight inappropriate uncle huts oh you've grown up so much we don't know what to call this get your guitar boogie get the guitar we're like listener disagrees with us it's okay send us an email listener disagrees with us it's great to have a conversation I should probably work on that huh I love the conversation really really an app really an ad-lib for syllables let's not a host topic it's not perverted mailbox it's not some fucking advice oh you know we can you know I have I'm not going to tell about the show that I want to make regarding hate mail but let me tell you it would be amazing oh my god I wouldn't listen to that I'll tell you it would be amazing Kathy it's empowering and whatever teaching you to not be as hurt by things people say and stuff like that it's actually really good but let's get into this this was a great great email go Kathy all right blitz wrote to us and they said in episode 260 boogie is talking about negotiating a scene quote in character this troubles me deeply for me personally if I'm just playing top or bottom at a club or something that might work but not if I am in an actual meaningful power exchange situation within the BDSM community there's plenty of talk about subs sometimes not even being willing or able to use their safe word if a sub is even possibly in a different headspace already or the top is that's not genuine communication and definitely not negotiation or consent your conversation goes on to recommend negotiating with a cool hand beforehand but I am quite uncomfortable with the situations described as quote clever ways to negotiate without breaking the mood I'm not trying to be judgy but the discord folks encouraged me to share my thoughts with you so there you go first of all before you get into let me just say good for the people in discord neither boogie nor I no matter how sensitive we both are because I'm definitely a delicate flower neither one of us neither one of us wants to live in an echo chamber and we we get a lot of emails telling us how great we are now the show has changed our lives and believe me we absolutely love that but to hear things like this where you guys want to create there's a reason why we choose these topics is we want to create a lot of discussion not all that discussion does not mean that everybody is going to agree so this was a great thing and it was brave of them to do and I say thank you for doing that without your response oh that's just the warm up that's a warm up I want you to respond because you already had responded to it and it was your topic so I'm giving you the go ahead the reason we didn't do this topic last week is because I was in a very angry place about life and all the things in general so I really don't want to approach this defensively but of course there is going to be a certain amount of defensiveness because it's something I said and I stand by a lot of the things that I say and now I need to explain not just to the person who sent the email why I think that that's a good idea and that's part of self-reflection I think it's extremely healthy that it's okay to have that first like fuck you you don't agree with everything I say my shit is magic so that which that is literally hands go out back and my pigeon chest goes out what the fuck and that's what I did you know and then I'm like okay this is and then I said wait a minute this is what you want you want people to challenge the things that I say and do so that we can think and discuss and come from different points of view so absolutely I bring it all back and then say listen to what they are saying and what maybe is their point of view what type of person do they usually play with how do they personally negotiate what has been their personal experiences and once I was able to look at that I was able to also look at how I approach my negotiations and how I approach my topics the only thing I'll say to start with what I would say different like like if I was to do that segment again and I was to give those ideas and thoughts again what would I do differently because of this input from the person that email the only thing I would say differently would be if you are somebody who gets subspacey in roleplay that that might not be a good idea for you so now let's talk about why I said something like that why I would make that type of suggestion first if you listen to perverted podcast now this is somebody who said they were a new listener and they've only listened to a few episodes if you listen to more than one or 10 or 20 or 50 or 266 episodes you are going to hear endless you heard it in the topic before that we talked about where it is about empowering the bottom to ask questions to self advocate to seek support if they can't ask those questions to maybe not play if they are not ready to stand up for themselves or they need somebody to help them negotiate the play scene you have heard these things at nauseam dozens and dozens of times from Kathy and I throughout the history of the show this show is not in my opinion this show is not geared towards predators this show is geared towards people who have the basic best intention for their partners there may be ignorance that we may be talking to ignorant abusers because that's what Kathy and I when we talk about our vulnerability and the things we fuck up and the mistakes we made and irreversible damage there that's that's ignorant abuser that's like I didn't know and now I learned something and so I'm not going to be and I'm not going to do that anymore because it hurts somebody that I that I'm playing with or care about or in a relationship with but in general we talk to people who want the best so it is kind of the thrust of that is that if there is a problem that if the top sees that the bottom has gotten all spacey because you put your foot on their back and said tell me your tell me your limits that that would be the top's job to dial that back and say okay obviously this is not a good time to negotiate most people do not go spacey during a little bit of role play so what I found interesting was in her first paragraph where she says for me personally if I'm just playing topper bottom at a club or something that might work but not if I'm in an actual meaningful power exchange situation now this is a good example of why this is a difficult topic because it's going to be different for everybody and clearly for blitz this is not something that they would do for me that statement is actually would be reversed I would not be comfortable if I were simply playing topper bottom at a club with someone I didn't know that well I would not be comfortable doing that kind of mid-scene negotiation while you're in character I would be much more comfortable using it with someone I was in a meaningful power exchange relationship with as a tool to use if I was having trouble getting through something and so I just wanted to say that and use that as an example of how how depending on where you're coming from and what your situation is and the level of play you have and how well you know the person this can be a great thing or it can be an absolutely horrible thing I think there's a spectrum and now I'm going to say something that may sound a little attack of the interpretation of the personality of that letter that I got from blitz and that is the savior and protector which I do constantly I had to really work hard to realize that not everybody that comes into this lifestyle is a fragile dough that cannot advocate for themselves there is a desire as a daddy type to protect everybody and to literally talk down to everybody because they need me to protect them I did this endlessly and I got called on it in very aggressive ways that I had to look at to say most of the people that come into this lifestyle can speak up for themselves to a certain extent and if they can't there is a level of personal responsibility yes on the community to try to give as much information and that's why we have a show to tell people the basics and that they can stand up for themselves and they should be able to say no and that they can get support and blah blah blah blah but it still comes down to a basic human responsibility that if you are not ready to advocate for yourself if you cannot stand up for yourself and say I don't like this or I need I deserve to ask a question to protect myself at a certain level you are not ready to play and we believe that and we have talked about that on that show you should not play you should not have sex you should be working on this relationship with yourself that empowers you to feel that you deserve to speak up for yourself on the other extreme of the spectrum if you are somebody that feels very confident and you're just like fuck you I don't care rate me and cut off my arm do whatever the fuck you want in that far far extreme you may not be ready for play you may have some things that you need to look at in your personal life as to why you're okay with having your arm cut off in a play scene if that's what I've heard people talk like that Kathy oh my god if my master decides that it's my time to die then that's my time to die and I fully give myself in submission but I fucking heard it so maybe you aren't ready to play on that extreme the majority of the people in this lifestyle I feel fall somewhere in the middle spectrum where we have some character defects in foibles I love that word foibles and and we also have some confidence and then we create that supportive community with accountability and personal experience and we all share our experience and we build hopefully the best scenario for ourselves so we can enjoy our kinky exploration right a huge topic a lot to discuss and thank you so much to blitz for writing and you know your concerns the discord was absolutely right you should write and stuff like that we love hearing it and that's a lot of great discussion we just had on that one issue is kinky world news a social enigma i don't know let's ask enigma he should know because he's got the same name enigma yes i am here that is good it is you i and some crow eating out of some bag of chips or something that's laying in the parking lot i mean i'm glad that they're having a good meal it's a good me that motherfucker just looked at me sideways fuck you bro just totally like turn it is like me and i'm like fuck you it hurt you i kicked that fuck kick your bag of chips trying to do a show got to take shit from a fucking bird what the fuck how you doing enigma i'm doing like so good boogie like my mental health is like amazing right now you're high aren't you i don't get high a nigma what is your trick because the rest of us are out of our fucking tree oh oh see uh when i was just using with sarcasm about so yeah oh yeah are just a miserable fuck like the rest of us yeah exactly oh so in other words you got no noki no i did figure out how to put my phone on a pile of blankets on my bed so that i don't have to hold it while i jerk up so okay that's good yeah so like advancing that's good eventually you're gonna have like some suspension rig from the ceiling that just kind of has it hover you know like right there in the in the zone my first place in la uh the room that i was in was a punk bed and so like when you slept on my stuff at the bottom bunk i could like squeeze my phone into like the bars underneath the bed above me and so i can just watch it from yeah so i could like i could watch sport and i could watch movies i could just like watch everything just from bed and not have to actually like hold my phone that is uh terrifying and amazing so your uh your bunk mate was uh not interrupted by this i did not have a bunk bed so you stayed in a bunk bed with nobody on top well i was renting from a kind of a friend of a friend of a friend sort of thing and the room i was in typically they rented out on airbnb so it was available for two or more people but i was the only one renting the room okay so it wasn't like awkward no because i always thought about like how does that even work you know you have all these sober living places because i'm looking for a place desperately and it's just all like ten guys in a room and i'm like no not gonna do that not going to stay with ten other people as fucked up or worse than me in the same room sucking each other's covid and uh depressing victimized life stories not to mention where to get jerk off and where do you have no key time with your partners exactly in the garage in fries parking lot with a sideways looking mother fucking crow or that actually i've had a lot of sex in this parking lot to be honest i mean it's a it's a big parking lot so what do we have you have a few things and i actually did a little bit of research because i was curious about the first story about the about sex workers in japan do you want to start with that yeah uh we'll start with that so this article comes from the new york post and article is called sex workers in japan to get financial aid during coronavirus crisis so their essential government passed a stimulus package equivalent to about one trillion us dollars for general economic relief and then after some pushing the government relented and allowed for those who work in the legal section to speak of benefit from this plan so basically in japan anything short of sex is legal but anything that includes sex is not so like sugar like the whole sugar baby industry in japan is huge but it does not include sex work like actual sex so it's so it's so it's so i mean does this when they define sex is it like intercourse or is it blow jobs or hand jobs or foot jobs um so basically it the the law includes anything any sort of like intercourse like any sort of key and whole sex is is considered illegal but if like if you're just looking for a general companionship that is not that is considered legal okay so that's like escort kind of thing but without without sex court okay right um and of course there's some issues with the law uh this doesn't help those who aren't out with their profession so if you are more under the table sex work than you're not going to be able to get any assistance from this and this what i found interesting from this is the benefits from this actually went over into tai land as well where sex works is entirely criminalized but the government there is allowing for sex workers to apply for unemployment benefits during the shutdown so even though they have criminalized that there's still acknowledging that sex work is important and and sex workers require just as much help as any other worker so i just found that that found it really interesting i started reading up on this because the second you said this i'm like wait a minute prostitution is legal in japan when would this when did this happen um so i wanted to kind of and what i found was pretty much along the same lines as you did so it's not like i was like thinking that it might be like you know how in europe in a lot of countries in european countries they actually have it down you know sex workers are considered legitimate human beings just like anybody else they have the same rights they're backed in court and they get benefits health benefits they pay into the tax system it's a it works really really well the amount of sexual assault of sex workers is far less than we have here because there's no protection of our sex workers because we treat them all like meat and criminals and i was wondering if it was like that in japan and the things that i was finding is the social structure in japan like you said before when they're talking about it being kind of most sex workers are not out because this is a country that has a lot of tradition around family and so a lot of sex workers aren't going to be able to get any benefits because the way that the stimulus has worked itself out is you basically have to come out as a sex worker and then your family's gonna find out and there's gonna be all sorts of shame and judgment and social uh...
depositioning and things like that so it sounds like a good idea a lot of the sex workers are like yeah most of us aren't gonna be able to get the little bit of money that's not it's kind of like our stimulus in the states you know twelve hundred bucks you know no you know stick up their nose at twelve hundred bucks but it's sure the fuck not gonna pay oh hang on a second my phone's working just a second enigma yeah you're good yeah hang on mu hi i'm recording with enigma right now that's good mu see who knows the signal are you driving back from your vacation mu that's good did you have a good vacation mu very good mu okay well let me call you back in a little bit when i finished recording with enigma okay okay i love you okay that was a calling i'm sorry sorry for the podcast i was expecting mu to mu to call so yeah so a lot so like our stimulus package um twelve hundred dollars is is great to get but it's not going to pay really enough to survive you're still going to and with sex work your fault you can't interact with clients it's a physical it's a physical business it's not like you're you're selling the you know toilet paper and you can kind of have them over there and you're over here sex work is about sex and interaction and interacting with a lot of clients on a weekly basis so even though i thought it was cool that they're at least now starting to acknowledge okay they are humans we have to pretend that they matter there's still a lot of social work that needs to go because until the social outlook on sex work starts to change any efforts that's going to be made by governments is always going to be tainted because the government doesn't get elected if they are too supportive of sex work because then they're you know they're called a bunch of perverts right does anything that makes sense or am i just talking outside of my ass no yeah you're making perfect sense like there's we we i think we think over here that we're just all there's fruits in every culture absolutely there's double standards in every culture so i think the the fact that both these countries are supporting sex work is a positive thing but it's yeah kind of like we've been talking about before like they're still a long way to go what else you got so the next one if that if that last one is a little too positive this next one is called is from nsd.org so it's the nsd international website and article is called Poland abortion ban and aggressive sexuality education laws must not be rushed through under the undercover of covid-19 yeah so Poland yeah Poland's parliament is attempting to pass a couple of bills that would ban access to abortions and criminalize sex ed in schools with punishments up to three years in prison the bill even goes so far as to equate homosexuality to pedophilia um it's bad not that they're trying to pass these off at all but they're doing it during covid-19 while everybody's distracted by all of the madness of that and what makes this bill even worse to me anyway is that the bills are what's called a citizens initiative basically bills created by a group of citizens in the country and then submitted to the parliament which has a duty to consider the bills so under their uh law structure they have to at least consider anything that comes um through these initiatives and let's go go ahead no so so basically they have to look at it but it isn't as though that this is a law that's passing this is just something because we get that a lot here in the states where any wacko conspiracy theorists can get enough signatures on a petition and then they can present it and if there's enough signatures then the government has to look at it but it doesn't mean that it's necessarily like the government has you know leading politicians haven't taken a hold of this and want to push it through or is that the case that it's now gaining ground it is getting some ground but it yeah like it's still like they're their lawmakers still have to take these people's uh opinion into consideration like that's how freedom works i guess but like sure yeah it's just it's still the fact that they has gotten so far that the that the parliament is going to be looking at it is problematic enough because we've seen even in our country like jic gets slipped under the rug because of xyz crisis and the government decides to pass these things while everybody's distracted well i mean it's the same thing with the stimulus or any law or anything it's you know this thing is 300 pages long and half of these politicians are like yeah i brushed over it i didn't see the little benchmark thingy in there that said we get to take the liver of the first born of every fucking this person or that person you know and there's there's just crazy stuff and if you aren't thorough then shitty laws and benefits for people that don't benefit the citizens happen constantly and that's why you have to have non-politicians people that are that are good at reading these things that are not in government that we get these groups together like here we have snopes that does a lot of fact checking and wait what was the other one was it snopes snopes one and and there's a couple other fact checker typesites like that yeah i mean it is this is what is so important that before these things get pushed through that there is a vetting system besides just the government right you know and this is what we're dealing now with the protests and all the stuff that we have going on here we can yell and scream and savor rattle all we want but unless smart people sit at the table and look through this stuff before we because there's a lot of people that you know need jerk reaction we're gonna pass this law on that law and there's fucking people that are waiting for that emotional time so they can slip in their agenda and then say they're supporting the thing that everyone else is supporting when in fact you're just fucking doing nothing right i don't know what the fuck i'm even saying i'm staring at a wall all right so i'll close this up with a a fun little segment this one comes from www.insider.com and this one is called make it a little kinky New York City health officials release sex advice telling residents to use props and wear masks to avoid face-to-face contact they give suggestions like if two is company then three or more is definitely a crowd so no orgies and be creative with your sexual positions like doggy style cargirl other weather positions where you don't have to be face-to-face and physical barriers like walls or like glory holes yep the New York New York City health officials have officially endorsed lorry holes that is amazing that is amazing open for business yes indeed and also New York City will be doing delivery delivery is a condom and luke for you know safety you know what this all comes down to doesn't it anymore i don't what does it come down to motherfucking shower curtains thank you exactly now all of a sudden i am validated you guys laughed at me you laughed at me Kathy laughed at me are such an idiot blah blah blah shower curtains new york a rather progressive city one of the biggest financial contributors to the money in america they support it i am and now you have a chance with Kathy but i am just center the article i am big apple vindicated god dammit shower curtains everyone to Walmart it's not i'm i'm down i have a tarp i can cut a hole in it that'll work out well that's good now you just need to find a partner to tarp park yep that's that that'll be the hard part and so enigma if these kooky kids want to find us on social stuff where do they go well they can find us on instagram that's a bird at podcast they can find us at twitter at perverted he has to find us on fat life just search perverted podcast there's both a group and a page and you can want to find all the articles that i talked about today just go to our website www dot pervertedpodcast.com and you can find the link to our discord and a glory hole and a glory hole perverted nayo box bitch what you gotta say Kathy it is i mr darcy will you give us the perverted mailbox baby now you guys don't don't fucking ruin mr darcy before me i'm telling you i will hurt you that it's me i mr darcy oh sorry i won't take it over yeah yes i mr darcy's like shitty drunk brother like mr farsi i mr farsi and i can never live up to mr darcy and so i just like you know i show up and you and mr darcy are hanging out and you're like oh my god mr darcy you're so cool and i'm like hey what's up guys it's me mr farsi and you're like oh my god it's my shitty twin drunk brother mr farsi and i'm like hey guys can i hang out with you and you're like my god you are the antithesis of mr fucking darcy get out of here and i'm like can you guys give me fat bucks you get a fucking fat burger and you're like fine here's five bucks go away and i'm like i love you because i'm brothers with mr darcy so back here's me that rubs off on me are you through ruining it for me gonna go get a burger okay burger mr farsi you sound like a bad dickens character can we go to date this is my fucking lame brother but unfortunately he's a little special so we got to take him places what are we gonna do now mr darcy's rubbing your leg and he's like i'm gonna fuck your fucking brains out later and i'm not bad you guys should get cooony shots and i stick my two fingers on that x that you give kids the cooony shots with and you guys are oh my god where is the eject button for fucking this guy you know you're gonna have to edit all the shit out right nope it's all stain pat girl says hey guys listen to the last episode and it was fucking hysterical as usual thank you so much just wanted to let you know that boogie is even more of a freak than we knew because he is not crazy he is correct a person can blow air out of the corners of their eyes thank you all right mr gloat girl are legitimately like sciency chopped people pieces up person chop sciency chopped people up person is that what you just called her yeah it's hot it's so spicy all right she says the ducks in the corner of your eyes are called laprimal ducks which normally produce small amounts of fluid that keep your eyeballs lubricated and obviously produced tears there's normally a small valve there that opens and closes to let that fluid out and in some people there is either an absence of that valve or the ducks can be enlarged and while blowing their nose air can be blown out from it vindication so cappy i love you to death but in this case boogie is right i have air that comes out of my eyeballs do you know how horrifying i find that that you have air that comes out of your eyeballs that is so bizarre well it just throw it onto the pile of things that makes boogie unique he eats bugs he blows air out of his eye i come like a fucking drizzle okay just to be kept it's not always a drizzle sometimes it's a blue shoot drizzle i got insecure i totally insecure there for a moment like hey you know who's not that bad you know women women still want to fuck me i need groupies okay that's right that's right i forgot my revelation what revelation my revelation that i don't i need to go on this is gonna sound bad to just blur it out well you want to just record it put it back in potato mayhem no i want to do it now here rebel on a rebel i still have more mailbox stuff but go ahead okay so i thought i'm like it just occurred to me you know because i have that shitty reputation of like oh you only date younger hot chicks which currently right now yes the three or four partners that i play with they're they're all you know they're all in their early mid-20s um and that's fine and amazing and hot fuck you but it doesn't mean that i don't like women my own age or even women that are older than me that doesn't mean that it just means that i don't i haven't i'm not with any of them and believe me i've tried because all of a sudden i'm sitting in the car after i ate the bug and and i'm like you know i need a middle-aged play partner that like has a job in their own place so i could go there shower cook them a meal fuck their brains out watch a movie with them and then leave that's i think i win for her though that's what i'm saying and i've had so many of those i mean when i was younger i dated primarily older women and and that was what was great is because i realized all of my partners i can't go to anyone's house and i don't have a place right now they all live at at home with their parents still because they're all in college you're doing you know different stuff and i'm like shit that's one of the benefits of of dating people my own age is they've gone through all their shit they have a job and they probably have their own place so what did you say you you show up you cook them a meal you fuck their brains and then you leave yeah throw in take the trash out and that's a done deal can i take your trash out Kathy you want to have sex with mr farsi stop it i think you know what that i actually thought i'm not going to tell the mr darcy story because boogie will find some way of fucking me over with that and ruining my fantasy i'm not gonna ruin your fantasy you want me to have mr farsi i thought i was not trying to be mr darcy anymore you said you said that was off limits and i'm like okay well i mean like every time mr darcy pops into my head now i'm gonna see mr farsi standing next to him i'll get over it you like that you know what he looks like that drunk character in the Simpsons i don't know the name i don't know the show what fucking Barney or not Barney answer fucking the guy goes blah blah yeah oh my oh my oh yeah i drank 15 bam yeah oh wait no that was exactly that's mr farsi great all right should i go on probably but no i actually i like that idea i think it's about time you started dating older women well it's not that i haven't looked but it's here okay the reason i haven't connected with a lot of women my age and this is what you and i talked about yesterday and it's just a fact you and i have a lot of baggage you and i because we've been through a lot we've seen a lot we're cynical and bitter and whatever and so a lot of the exploration part is gone and i'm all about the exploration so i like that's why i like new people because they're like hungry and they're like i want to discover shit about myself and then i get a chance to be the daddy and the leader and show things and you know interact and find out what they're about and bring that out of them and and so first it's just a fact that a lot of people my age a lot of women my age may have some of that citizen cynicism and bitterness and i just i don't connect to it right well not all women your age are cynical and bitter though you are correct that's why we have a big lifestyle full of middle-aged women so basically where am i middle-aged hoes in los angeles that want a meal and some dick i i don't think you scored a lot of points by calling out for middle-aged hoes i think i gave that advice well like we said i'm a friend i'm just putting it out there i just you know if you can't handle being called a middle-aged hoe by kal boogie you ain't ready to be my middle-aged hoe oh my god oh good luck with that boy i'm gonna have a lot of editing today thank you are we're all over the place this show's not coming out till friday all right but kura wrote to us and he said kathy i think you and boogie both earned the right to enjoy being fingered in cemeteries thanks bacamor ow i can't think of your butthole man no stay away with my little precious button he also says also a happy belated birthday boogie that's nice i like one people thank you all right sissy milli wrote to us and said can i get some swag for being a zam and when i wrote back to her and said absolutely do you want to uh you know a sticker or pin she says i'll take whatever the fuck you send me i know it's a pain in the ass to go to the post office and mail this crap especially in these weird times i'm grateful for whatever i get thank you and boogie so much for keeping the show going through these crazy times keep up the hard work and stay safe isn't that sweet that is amazingly sweet because of that i am sending both a sticker and a button wow so basically there's you just gave a diagnostics suck kathy's dick a certain way and you get more stuff i least i'm being honest boogie at least you're laying out here's the way to my heart is straight through my ego i love it i love it bring me a sandwich preferably we got a bug on it and let's see what the deal let's go to call back happy good job two points i mean we close out show 266 thank you you lovely and amazing patreon supporters we love each and every one of you for the value you see in our show and forgiving us five of your hard-earned bucks once a month and headley i don't know what to say man we must be legit if we have a show sponsor like right to us motherfuckers a puritan podcast as you know that console boogie and i don't feel like we're screening into the void okay wait i'm gonna put a delay effect let's do a falling off the cliff delay void effect are you ready one two three i'll see you guys next week just wildly inappropriate