267: What do you do if your masculine role models sucked? (ft. Jason Lange)

How did you learn to be a man? From whom did you learn, and what did they impart? More importantly, if this isn't how you want to be now, how you grow beyond what you learned?We learn how to be who we are from our parents and other caregivers. If you grew up with men who were absent, alcoholics, abusive, or just not emotionally attuned, then there are gaps in your knowledge. Here we talk about how to fill those in -- and how to replace bad role models with good ones.A few things we cover in this episode:Passive dad/absent dad vs. volatile dadWhat do to do if you don't want to be "that guy" -- the angry guy, the shut-down guy, the guy who makes women uncomfortableGrowing up with women who badmouthed men ("Don't be like your father")The power of men's work---Not mentioned on this episode but still wanted to mention it here -- there's a YouTube channel called, "Dad, how do I?" and it's great. It's by a man who didn't grow up with a good dad, and it's all about how to do basic things (like shaving).