#27 - Create A Story

All right, good morning Amanda. Good morning. What's up? It is cold where I am It's pretty cold where I am too in the second bedroom of my house surrounded by Etsy packages Think of a cold.

They give up a cold and burning fire. I would say So I was preparing for the podcast this morning I got up at 5 30 and To prepare for the podcast Yeah, truly like I got my computer set up and all this stuff And I was ready because I have so much to do today that I coerce you into recording at 6 a.m So yeah, and I will and to be fair. I'm in a different time zone So I know so it's like a real time your time Yeah And you didn't answer on the first ring so then I thought oh I should make a little list of topics so that I can contribute to the podcast And would you like to hear what I wrote down this morning as a few minutes ago that I was supposed to talk to you about? Tell me it says Shawnee face Shawnee fase.

I don't know what this says. I don't know what this even means it I just wrote this does it say shorty fire hold it up to the hold it up to the screen Give me a look at this Sharing tire is it something about your tire? No, that's a face. No, it says face Yeah, something face.

I know but I know but I'm shaving face. It does say shaving face good work Oh my gosh, I can't believe you crack the code Kind of an amateur handwriting expert if you will on the move about the country offering freelance webcam services to decipher handwriting You just hold your handwriting sample up to the screen and I will tell you what you wrote 15 minutes ago Point the microphone at your mouth. I would say yes, it makes a big difference for sound And I'm the one that has to listen to it. So that's not true.

It is true. Oh, do you listen to our podcast now? Yes, I listen to it through the reports of other people who messaged me about it, you know And they're like only I was holding the microphone a little bit differently. Maybe then it would be palpable the ears.

Oh wait No, you know, they say things like audio is really important to me sound quality is everything And I'm like these veiled threats are not gonna get you what you want. Okay, which is a sign head shot a sign head shot of the two girls talking I'm pretty sure that's what they want. Yes. Yeah, we should take head shots back to back with our arms like akimbo I don't know I want those and we can sign it with a copper metal pen So we have to get pictures for other business where we look like actual professionals And so we could like do poses for two girls talking But I feel like we need a costume change to really get into character What do you imagine the costumes would be for the two girls talking podcast?

Well, either we would be like doing a skit where we were dressing as like, you know, Brooklyn podcast professionals That sounds like what our outfit should be for the other industry picture probably like you could do your hair Like some sort of 90s film I was trying to be okay I was trying to be a French girl I went to a concert that I before and I saw a beautiful French girl play guitar and I thought well my life is different now I will become this French girl. So I went home. I washed my hair I straightened it the next morning I parted it in the middle because I have such a high forehead I usually try to sweep the bangs across to give the illusion that I'm a normal person without like 20 finger forehead And then I but today or that day I felt so brave and so imbued with the French spirit of like liberté I would say I I Parded it straight down the middle and all day at work incredible things happened people I've never talked to you came up to me and said you look great and I was like I do look great. Thank you And we're like wait, I'm startled by the size of your foreheads No, but the one thing that I tried to like parade around in front of our French designer I would say to see if he also recognized me as a fellow Frank Frankophile type and No for some reason he wasn't like wait are you from France?

It didn't pan out the way that I really thought it would really wanted to break out into song right now from that way Miss song where they're doing the bonfire, but I can't even remember what the song is Argentina the will of the people be done. Wait, that's a vida. Yeah, no, it's not that Anyway, so I had that experiment of being French for a day and it changed my life And I feel like I should part my hair in the middle all the time And I was showing my sister photographs yesterday of it the experiment because I was like look here's my old profile picture Look what a Charlie Brown round face. I have now look at the new French picture very French She was like I think it's just because you part of your hair in the middle It makes your face look thinner, but I don't think it actually is She like left off the I didn't think it actually is she sort of trailed into it so I could fill in the blanks if it Was it where that's like when you tried to show me a side-by-side and I said hang on Please smile and take another selfie That all was lost Shame me, yeah, no just because I'm just trying to like science it out, you know science mitigate the fake news Yeah, exactly I'm doing my part against fake news whether it's face shape related news or selfie related news the hard-hitting journalism of America So much hard-hitting journalism Mm-hmm.

Uh was that the thing you wrote? No, let's get to that. Let's get to the list So shaving face because it was very face related Okay, so I now and then I read a lot of stuff on Instagram read that's a generous term for watching videos I watch a lot of videos on its program that are beauty fashion related I don't know why because I clearly don't care about either of those things you can tell from my I can't describe this outfit. It's very it's been hold too long with her kids and like hasn't seen the light of day It doesn't care anymore has given up.

Yeah, like I just know that like your pockets hold of you's tissues With someone else's not on them. I feel like that is living the dream man. Yeah I'm not discussing for myself. I'm discussing for someone else I feel like that's a good.

Oh, hold on. Let me write down my list Man, you are so chipper in the morning and the way the pose you just made when you like lean down to write it It was I felt like we were on like 99.1 FM and you were like Good morning, Seattle. Oh, wow. I would love that.

I wanted to do a radio show. I did it. It's not am I right? We've all been there.

I think we can agree I was I talking about shaving face which sounds a lot like saving face or saving grace, but no shaving face So on Instagram Yeah, I watch a lot of videos and I saw this one video of a girl who was like cutting her bangs or something I was like I'll watch someone cut their bangs off on a video That sounds great and actually it's like a boomerang and it's like bangs no bangs bangs no bangs no bangs Yeah, that would be awesome, but it wasn't sadly we should produce some content sounds like you got some really No idea. I don't even have boomerang. I've never done a boomerang in my life Me either and at this point I'm like oh, I can't get it now because it'll be like whoa this chick That's what our that's what our headshot needs to be a boomerang Oh, I thought you were gonna say it's a photo of us downloading boomerang We need to go bro Downloading boomerang together on the last episode I like had to ask you what the difference was between like an instastory and an instalive so I think the jig is up downloading Yeah hot tech girls revealed is neither hot nor tech no I was out to dinner with a tech person He's like a CTO of whatever whatever and he's been a billion things and he talked about it a lot But I was like doing like hot tech girl chatter skits get so many Cross talk and at one point I like directed a photo shoot and he commented that I had a lot to say about where everyone should be Standing in the photo and I was like well. I am a product manager and then I was like I hate myself Let's put it on pivotal and pointed out Thank you.

I'm also a hot tech girl I don't know if you know that doing my skits, okay So this girl who I thought was cutting her bangs actually was using a tiny razor to shave her face And I was like what the hell's going on so she showed the difference before when she like had like makeup on and it looked awful And then she shaved her face and it went on so smooth and so perfect And I was like I'll do that even though I don't wear makeup So I ordered these little razors from Amazon and Shaves my face is why you need a budget I know totally and Then like last night I was reading about it online. I was doing some research to see and I was like face razors bad Face razors good, you know, hit up all the keywords doing the SEO getting into the scene the face shaving scene I like to do I like to do like face to razors scam Yes, yeah, always adding the word scam because even if it's not really a scam you get some really good reading of people who are like Exposing the thing they're angry about okay, so that would I'm sure if you Google face razor scam It would lead you directly to a four-year-old makeup alley Like conversation where people are like well for my money and just going hard on the face shaving for I love me some forums I know do you know there's this business tactic when it's like basically like you want to start a business and you're looking for like What's a problem I can solve you're supposed to basically like read forums for hours and hours because it's like because it's like the place And you get to know all of the users and all of their like long-term loves desires hates So you know it's like it's like it could be something you don't know anything about and it's like no just getting those forums and suddenly You'll be an expert a hundred percent I wanted to check in with you about some billboard rage. So you'd see anything good lately wait before we skip ahead to my favorite Rage I just wanted to ask did your did your Google results turn up anything? Nothing negative that I was able to find except one girl who was dumb and like sliced her leg open with it because it's not a protected razor It's literally just like a razor on a thing you hold it's very dangerous That's what you hide in candy on Halloween it kind of looks like some candy it's bright and color candy colored I found lots and lots of articles of people like every women's magazine writing about it like they invented it slash discovered it So it was pretty pretty much a treat to be like what's cosmos take on how they invented face shaving What's in your like and you were like two girls talking inventing face shaving?

Yeah, but I've got to say man I'm pretty happy with the results and a lot of people who were talking about how they used to wax their upper lip or like Whatever we're like oh no now. I do this and my life is like easy You can do it anywhere it's so fast this one girl described herself and this did leave out as me at me as odd This one girl described herself as that you could do it anywhere She's like you know sometimes I do it like on a plane and I was like How did you get a razor attached to a handle onto a plane can we talk about that first like that? Just like trip me up forever and I was like is this like a joke did you put this in here as like a little aside for those who Yeah, like for me the information digger five years later. I don't get it Not an elegant name perhaps but an important one Abigail I have to tell you about this business idea I have Tell me you're all eyes on me total attention.

I don't know. It's kind of too good to say out loud is how I feel Like someone might steal it. I know should I anyway? I will okay?

So every day on my way to work I ride the train into Santa Monica and we go by this giant dirt pit filled with all these big Machines digging and poking at rocks and doing all this stuff and I thought oh my god construction site Oh god is that what it is? I thought it was just a sort of freeform, you know exploration of dirt. Yeah, so Every time I go by I think about how there should be like a place where you can go like an escape room You should there should be a big dirt pit you can go to and you get like an hours training And then you get to dig with the big machine or like ride around on the steam roller or like whatever dude dude They have a place like that what we use it because it's for kids because you know like kids like like four-year-olds They're obsessed. They're obsessed.

Yeah, look I made a video of the steam I have made a video in years and I made a video of the steam roller working and I was like this is so great I showed people at work and they were like I'm worried I don't know if you can see this yeah, I can see it I Mean check it out that that things like it's a jackhammer attached attachable long-arm thing It's poking it's breaking up all of those rocks. Okay, so I have some information for you about making your dreams come true Okay, when these places exist they I think there's like some places that are like mini versions But then they also do like you know how monster truck rallies come to big arenas Yeah, there's something like that where you can get tickets and and just like watch those things and it's because kids are obsessed with diggers Okay, is that what they're called those machines there there is a machine called a digger because I can't Video I keep calling at the steam shovel like Mike Mulligan and his steve shovel. Yeah, that's like home school education at work Okay, information number two for you. Uh-huh you can Google no YouTube like that video you shot you can find way better versions Oh, no, I'm sure you can't I just made this on the fly No, and if you read the comments of all these videos like you could post yours on YouTube and get some users But like you read the comments everyone's like my four-year-old loves this video, etc Oh, yeah, I remember when Henry was little my friend Laura's son He wanted to just watch videos of trains just driving places all the time and she was like I don't want to watch train videos anymore.

I'm tired of train videos I was like is this what life is eventually just watching train videos like with a look of pain on your face? Yeah, I guess I mean other people snotty tissues and Based on the stories you've been telling me I think you might actually enjoy a good train video You know I've been thinking about looking some up exploring the genre getting in with the peeps getting into the scene the players Okay, so now my third wreck for you There's an iPad game. No That is for kids Bearing the lead as usual, but I think you would love it anyway. Sure.

I would I'm very susceptible and have the brainpower of a four-year-old So of course it's a construction site and it has it's like the one you drive by where they're like they're clearly doing a lot So there's like a lot of different types of machines Yeah, I need to each make each one do different things and so like and then so there's like a guy laying bricks like making a wall And so you like have to make him lay the bricks But you also have to put the like gravel or whatever into the cement mixer and turn the cement mixer to make new cement to help build the wall And then there's another part where you make a road and you use like one of those hot rolling machines a steam shovel probably So you like pour the asphalt and then you roll it out. I think you'd be super into this game Yeah, is there an option to play as the construction foreman where I sit in the trailer filling out paperwork all day and calling in worksmen's comp issues? You know, maybe in the next update. They're gonna add that that what's that called pathway career path?

Level I don't know. Can I tell you about something weird? It's been happening lately. Sure Over the past three days, I would say I have been I keep feeling like someone's touching me or like pushing me slightly I know like a ghost yes And it has only happened like three times But I keeps being like I thought someone touched my shoulder like for real and I looked over and there was nothing there Another time I felt like someone pushed me like on the shoulder and there was nothing there another time I was fully sure that like John was next to me in bed and I like And he was not there no one was there like I don't know it was very strange So what do you think this ghost is up to like no one does the ghost have a crush on you?

I mean most coaches Do in my experience especially when I part my hair down the middle. It's kind of a ghost It's a French ghost on the move. Oh, man. That'd be great.

I get into international ghosting I don't know what it is But it's been really strange because I haven't really experienced anything like that before and I can't tell whether it's just some sort of Early-onsent dementia or some kind of something wrong in my brain, you know Yeah, I mean if I were to say like one time you like I first of all I think it's fairly common to like think that someone tapped down the shoulder But then it wasn't there not like fairly common happens every day But like it's happened to all of us and I feel like you are the type person that would like latch onto it as some sort of like What does it mean? And then like the next time the wind blew you'd be like it happened again That is not even what happened. It really felt like it wasn't like a tap dude It was like it was like a shove it was like someone like it was like a push like my body like dude Probably you got pickpocketed and now they have snottie Kleenexes. No, there was no one around me It was at work like I looked around and there's no one even standing near me.

I don't know man. Maybe it's cancer Thank you. That's the answer I was clearly looking for I figured You're like let's get this segment over with goes ghost touching unwanted touching on the metro Okay earlier earlier you asked me if I had billboard rage Yes, and I don't think I do because I think I've been in the same place since we last recorded Which is great But we have a user submission Take us there and they submitted it through our website where we have a submit your joke life moment form and It starts with not a joke life moment a billboard rage moment nice and this is from Amy C Amy C and LA. Yeah, and okay, so I'm gonna run back to me about the website I was like there's no way to submit a billboard rage.

I was just typing whatever box is there We're gonna read it's literally what I told her to when she contacted me Why is she contacting every member of the podcast trying to get a different answer she ran on my Facebook? She was like I'm trying to she's like why is there not a place for me to submit a billboard rage moment And I was like use the submission box that exists I will update it shortly to be like submit whatever the hell you want. Well that make you feel better So listen right your right your feelings in this box and hit enter. We'll read it promise right please reach out to us via the box Even if it's not a joke life moment, all right, so I'm gonna read this but I will pause for you to you know Interrupt since I assume that's what you like to do Are you listening?

I feel like you're looking at something else. I'm listening. I'm trying to hold very still so you think the video froze Wait, are you doing it now? Yeah No, you didn't because your hair was moving in the back I could see it.

Let's try to you know this is so boring Okay, so this is from Amy C. This is her billboard rage moment I need you to address a rage-inducing billboard gag along the lines of the inscrutable pass it on campaign So expertly skewered in the last episode. Thanks Amy. Oh, thank you the premise of these billboards seems to be make Make up a ridiculous lie about his shelter animals backstory Yes, I know what she's talking about and I have one in mind right now to increase the likelihood of adoption question mark question mark So one will have shelter cat and world-renowned penis and a picture of a cat presumably a real cat of production near a piano Yep, similar ones suggest dogs are celebrity stylists or brain surgeons The entire premise buffettles me the tagline is something like create a story adopt today Suggesting that only outsized anthropomorphizing tall tales we get people to adopt pets or traditional Or that you can only lie about your pets past if you adopt them from a shelter maybe This is what billboards take from us they take She says so much on clarity so much rage I too have seen these and like pretty much just stopped and stare.

There's one that's on Santa Monica Boulevard right now Which is the cat one and I was you know He has the piano What I thought it was trying to say was that you could film your cat pretending to play the piano It would become a YouTube star is what I thought that like it was like adopt a pet make money off them It's like the vibe. I thought they were going for it's pretty good Look at the business opportunities presented by adopting a shelter animal Yeah, I really thought that's what they were going for like if we can't appeal to people who think animals are cute or their side of compassion Or whatever it is we're gonna get them on money I do feel like that is a like a fairly literal interpretation of create a story like so I mean you're not you're not crazy But this is only after being exposed to the billboard and I on a thousand now I had a thousand times as I walked to the train station trying to make sense of it And the only reason I really noticed it is because the La La Land billboard was there and I would like glare at it every day As I walked by it So I was just happy to see that there was a new billboard little did I know how it would consume my life my thoughts my very self I would turn into some billboard rage how I would long for those house on days of La La Land billboard sure And I always thought was so funny because I was like nobody in this neighborhood wants to go see La La Land I promise you like no is it like vote for La La La Land? No, it was just like La La Land exists and I was like oh is this homeless person like asleep on the ground here Like are they excited about La La Land right now? Yeah, I feel like you've got some really good feedback for Damien Chizelle or like I don't know whoever decides where the like I don't know when you do like a whole billboard buy You probably don't choose the individual billboards.

You're probably like we're gonna put a hundred thousand down on this zip code or whatever Yeah, but I would not pick the zip code to advertise that movie But yeah, you know what I mean That's probably why they didn't win the award because they spent all their advertising dollars in the zip code filled with We have like okay, let me get a picture like next to the elementary school. There's a mattress a queen size mattress That's been there for I don't know months years. It's just laying there very close to the La La Land billboard Everybody sleeps there. You just walk by it and if you're tired you laid out if you sleep for a while Not me, but you know, I'm just saying this is the kind of neighborhood where people care to go to the movies per chance I'm not saying that's where I would put the billboard.

I feel like I feel like you think I'm on the wrong side of this Matt sorry billboard billboard raised just like just gets to me just it muddles the mind, you know Well, Amy does have something to say about that What she says as the segment progresses, however I do find myself wondering if the more attention we pay to billboard rage the more rage-inducing billboards win. Oh Wow because they've occupied even it's like trolling online if you respond the trolls win, you know, we're being trolled every day by Advertisements. I sound like Tyler Durden and fight club right now. Okay, like let me just stop myself full stop right there When we were talking about how we try to make sense of billboards it reminded me of I do this so I don't I can't hear very well Especially in situations where other people are around So restaurants concerts parties.

I'm like, oh, yeah, uh-huh. I'm just gonna not along cuz I have no idea what you're saying And so a lot of what I do is I like try to guess and then I try and then I try to create a story if you will And stop the shelter pet today. So yesterday My friend Camille said what I thought was and I mean this is like last week's episode cappuccino for a queen She said I thought she said You know, we gotta find out like because these are kind like these airplanes They're like kind of a big deal. We gotta find out like what the right models are because like I feel like people buy these Like we could really like do something big with this And I was like my brain was like I feel confused.

Why is she talking about like models of airplanes? What are we what big thing are we gonna do and my brain is like spinning trying to like create a conspiracy like form? What like what fake news story might be shared with me and I decide what she must be saying is That we should buy some vintage airplanes Of course and turn them into airbnbs And that it would be like all the rage and like everyone would be so into it what it I think well I was like, yeah, no, I totally agree good work good work. She wasn't saying airplanes What was she saying air plants?

Oh? Yeah, because we were we were there was like models of airplanes I don't she might have said models. She might have said types or something and my brain was like types of airplanes are models I can't like I can't remember exactly my I was trying so hard. Yeah, you're going above and beyond there to confuse the shit out of that situation Yep, no, but that's exactly what it was so like cuz in this area of Texas where I'm at right now every tree is covered in airplanes Really?

Yeah, and so she was like people buy these right and I'm like, yeah That's what she was saying. I think she even said for a lot of money like how do we sell them? I was looking at Etsy the other day and there was literally a piece of crystal with an airplane on top of it It was like an airplane and a crystal planter $50. I was like that is not what that is that is a piece of green matter stuck to a rock Like what is happening right now?

All right, so that's our in I'm just saying man make it happen create a story create a story all right, so Joke life, right what oh what to do? Oh, yeah So lately no matter what I've been saying like oh I want that on my tombstone So I was wondering if you had any like what's like a dumb phrase you've recently that you would want your tombstone This is my joke life moment It's so simple, but I think it really I want something about if it does advertising work it already did it just did That's pretty good. That's pretty good That is billboard right there because you're like what is being advertised is it the tombstone is it that person? Okay, that is a New Yorker the New Yorker cartoon if I ever saw one is like a tombstone with that written on it You know what's funny is I remember as a kid being like a buff-fuddled by New Yorker cartoons And this is why Because they were billboard levels of nonsense always yeah because I was just like is this like a stock picture paired together with like stock words Pretty much, you know, I'm pretty sure these were I'm pretty sure these were New Yorker cartoons that my parents had saved like it's not like it's like Yeah, even worse so like I was like I was like I was like I don't get it But I can't ask anyone because then they'll know I don't get it so just Figure it out That should be on my tombstone no, no, I don't get it.

I guess I'll just sit here trying to figure it out I'm dead. I guess an airplane Airbnb is the answer To be fair airplane sounds a lot like your plant right also. I want to stay in an airplane Airbnb Well, what about Joshua tree? We'll just make it into airplanes obviously I'll be ass like Yeah, it's on Trello there's a checklist component never signed members so we should see some progress on this pretty soon Sounds like a great product management skill All right, joke life moment I've got one so I bought some contacts from Ukraine on eBay because I'm poor and don't have health insurance and Usually that works out just fine and I make sure that to be fair I am poor and have health insurance and I can't afford contacts So health insurance wouldn't help you cool.

It does make me feel better and also worse for the entire universe So I yeah, I got these contacts from Ukraine. I waited for the package for a long time the ones I have are like burning holes in my face I Got a notice from the post office that they tried to deliver it And wasn't able to be delivered which is very weird because that this should just be able to be delivered Of course when you get 20 packages a day, right and our mail carrier should know at this point like if there's a package That he has it's probably for me like almost certainly for me But no and also there was no note left nothing I just I'm looking at tracking and tracking says that it should have been delivered So it also doesn't say which post office to go to it just gives it like a zip code and I was like that's cool So I go to the list the list post office and try to talk to them about it And they're like and it's this girl's first day who's helping me and because I asked her question She's like, I don't know it's my very first day. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm sorry.

I know it's fine So she finds this broken package that is torn up and there's like stuff falling out of it and she's like here's your package I was like, oh my gosh, like what is happening and I'm like thank you so much I signed for it and I take it away and I open it up in the post office and it is a bunch of Etsy supplies that neither of us Neither of us knew we're missing from December. I mean I do think Around the time they should have arrived. I asked a question to the effect of didn't you get some white flowers? And you were like, no, I just got these and I was like, oh, oh well and moved on to my life, right?

So So this lady, I don't know so then I go back and I have to explain like hey I think this isn't the right package and this woman's like confused and so she looks like there's another one There's another one she was like, but you already signed for this number of this thing I was like, okay, let's start over and she looks through this entire cabinet I watch her like look through everything she really does like twice and she like walks over me And she's like I can't find it Can you give me some time to call the carrier and see if they know where it is? I was like, why would a male carrier be like yes two weeks ago? I remember trying to deliver something no they do know that though because like yeah, I'm sure it happens somewhat regularly. Yeah Or like they're like oh look, this is a shredded box.

I don't meet shredded boxes every day. Yeah So I don't hear from her. She's giving her phone. She's giving her phone.

Her says call me if we don't call you So the next day I like try and call she's not there and I say when will she be in they go? Oh, she gets here at four o'clock in the morning. So call back then. I'm like, yeah, okay, buddy.

I will So yesterday finally I call in the morning and or Wednesday. I call in the morning and She's like, ah, we can't find the package. I don't know what to tell you and I was like, oh my god Okay, and it's kind of an ordeal to get the post office because my car has I haven't changed my car sire in a long Two months, so I had to like take the train up there or take an uber or something So she's like, I don't know where it is 20 minutes go by as her like looking and finally She's like, oh, I found it They had written like the last number of your address as like a slightly different number and that confused whoever was delivering the mail Of course, and I was like, okay, so I go I Take the train I rush home I rush from work to like get there in time to get my contacts And because I really need them and I get to the post office at like 5 55 right before it's about to close and I rush in and I give you the package and I'm like caught and tired and so sweaty and you go home and I open up the package and it is the Wrong contacts that I have like they sent the wrong so it was contacts and it was the wrong ones Yeah, and it was like I'd spent so much effort and so much time and so much brain power and they had spent so much effort and time and brain power Trying to get these contacts and they were the wrong ones and I was like I was like This is my life as a joke and just like ran into a window. I was like, uh, and this madness now I'm sorry anyway a tale of whoa.

Yes. Tell of whoa. What am I doing with my life? What's your joke life moment one time someone said airplane and you thought they said airplane That's just that's not even Just par for the yeah, exactly.

There's nothing else just a Tuesday. Well, okay, so I told you the story already So we might decide it doesn't qualify, but um I am staying at a like a campground RV park thing, which is like fun. I've never stayed at one before I'm also not staying like officially here. I'm parked I'm like never mind.

It's boring. Anyway They have this like great room common area type place where you can hang out and there's a fireplace and stuff And so I was in there doing some work. It's kind of like being camping or whatever and going to be a wonny But way less cool than the a wonny And this old man comes in and he's old he's like 70 something and he's like starts chatting me up and Asked me where I'm from which is always an awkward question because I don't know what the answer is Yeah, I feel like it's what you just say like California. Yeah, I mean I'm starting to I'm starting to learn That it's not the answer nothing matters as usual.

I was gonna say I'm sure people don't actually care So or they have opinions about them or what you say so it's just kind of like let's talk about whatever right? Yeah, obviously as usual overthinking it New Yorker comment on the move So he's like then he kind of starts getting into a sales pitch I can tell from his like line of questioning where he's like Where are your doctors? What is your you know, what's your health situation? And I was like this is weird What if I told you could live forever?

I was like I was like are we are we on like a CW drama right now? Am I about to sign up for Scientology for the third time? What's happening? And he he like shuffles out a business card and he's like He's like I I saw health insurance for people who travel full-time But which on its surface would be something I'm into but it's not regular health insurance.

It's like it's some sort of airplane Believe it or not insurance. So it's like we'll like if something bad happens to you. It'll fly you to where you're from to where doctors are Okay, so he's like giving me this weird pitch and He's like trying to like stress to me that I need this service Uh-huh, and I'm kind of like he says he asked the question What would you do if you had a heart attack? I would fall to my knees and thank the Lord right?

I've been waiting for this moment my whole life Yes, like I like literally I like and I didn't say this out loud because you know Nobody understands, but I wanted to be like I would assume since I'm 32 and having a heart attack that my prayers are being answered Like in this moment I would be living my actual best life So right is there a way to sign up for the heart attack? But what I said was call 911 Yeah, and he was like but wouldn't you want to see your doctors? Oh, no, I don't give a shit what happens to anything Well, yeah, first of all like I'm like I'm pretty sure anytime anyone's having a heart attack. They're like get me to a doctor Not like well, let's travel I'll get on the plane.

It should take six hours around trip Okay, I mean I guess I can do that sure like a special heart doctor Yeah, and I get that most people who travel full-time are old our beers and that they have various health problems And so like if some if you had a complication it would be important that you're being treated by someone who's like familiar with everything going on with you But like he did not adjust his pitch at all No for a for someone of my age age range. Yeah, and then I was like maybe he thinks I'm old This kind of plays well into a moment that happened yesterday at work where I felt like I was having heart palpitations and I couldn't stop smiling Because you were happy about the politicians or the politicians were making you smile You were like you were like wait wait did someone just touch me on the shoulder? Oh, no, it's not palpitations. Yes.

Oh, no Yeah, I tried to tell the story to other people who maybe don't quite get the gallows humor The philosophical tenets of nothing matters. I thought it was so funny. So I kept trying to it is funny. Yeah, well, yeah So, I mean, it's very funny Anyway, if anyone needs that kind of insurance hit me up.

I've got this guy's card doctor feel good not his name But his business card has like a jet on it. I was like I could turn this into an Airbnb I bet I was gonna say are you interested in an Airbnb service type thing for your like all these planes With your done getting heart attack victims to wherever you're gonna sell their body parts to what you do with the plane Are those planes still good? You'll be used the planes after you're done with them. All right, I gotta make coffee I have to write an entire screenplay.

I'm yeah. Yeah. No, that's true. You do.

I'm hitting the road today though I'm coming back to you. I'm right here, babe. I'll be there in a couple days That's so exciting. I know West Coast best post always always always