27. Midnight Sun Chapter 17

In which Bethanie and Samantha discuss Chapters 14-15 of Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer.Chapter 17 Summary: “Confessions”Bella runs towards Edward, worried that the sun is hurting him, although he explains it does not. She thinks Edward looks beautiful, but he disagrees. He thinks, “my skin was blazing with the most flagrant symptom of my disease,” comparing his vampirism to an illness (344). Edward struggles with their proximity, but he focuses on trying to restrain himself. He tries to desensitize himself to Bella’s pulse while wondering if he has passed Alice’s knot of future possibilities yet. Bella leans too close for Edward’s comfort, and he runs to the other side of the meadow, disgusted at himself for the narrow escape. He shows Bella that he is a predator—too strong, too fast—which scares Bella and makes him ashamed enough to come back to his senses. Bella forgives Edward, which reminds him of Carlisle’s forgiveness when Edward returned from his vigilante period. Bella explains that she is afraid because she knows her own mortality prevents her from being with Edward forever. Edward is angered that Bella blames herself for the situation. He explains how perfect her blood is for him, that she is like the perfect drug, an exceedingly rare occurrence for vampires. He thinks about how Emmett fell “off the wagon” both times he encountered this kind of blood (361). Bella thinks that this means Edward intends to fall off the wagon himself, but he reassures her that he has no intention of doing so.Edward confesses all his feelings for Bella. He tells her that now he could never live with himself if he hurt her. Bella says she feels the same; she would rather die than be away from him. He thinks they are a juxtaposition, evil and innocent, like a lion and a lamb. Edward feels that there is one last step to Alice’s knot. He leans his head against her throat and listens to her pulse until he can fully imagine tasting her blood without being overwhelmed. He lets Bella trace his body with her hands, explaining that he has other, more human hungers than just blood. When they leave the meadow, Edward takes Bella running, although the experience overwhelms her. Before they get back into the car, Edward kisses her, which overwhelms her again. Edward insists on driving, now grateful for being a vampire since it is what allowed him to meet Bella.This Is The Podcast of A Killer is a Three Sisters Network Podcast hosted and produced by Bethanie Finger, Lindsey Myers, and Samantha Myers. Featuring discussion of the literary works of Stephenie Meyer, with intro/outro music composed by Infraction and logo art created by Bethanie Finger.