270. How to have your own back in relationships (yikes)

Relationships are the best aren’t they? And sometimes they are also the worst…and most of the time, the ones we have are both. Come on, you know it’s true because we’re human and we have natural human reactions and varying ideas of how things should be. A lot of that has to do with how we are brought up. Out of all the people in the world, outside of our blood relatives, we pick a few that we’re like “I like you” “let’s hang out”. And if it’s your partner then you even decide you’re gonna live in the same house and sleep in the same bed every night, it’s kind of interesting if you think about it. I love being married and I love my friends and my family as well. It brings joy to our life and sometimes it brings us pain. Maybe someone hurts your feelings or forgets your birthday, or does something terrible and now you carry around this grudge that never feels very far from the surface. You can go around like that for a while, but eventually it either goes away because you’ve decided to let it go or it grows but you keep ruminating about it. I’ve read that it’s better to be alone than in a toxic relationship. I don’t know if there’s a truer statement out there, there may be an equally true statement, but not more true. When you’re in a relationship whether it’s with a friend or partner or family member even, if it’s toxic and it’s constantly weighing on you, constantly the source of anxiety or drama or sadness, what’s that doing to you long term? You’re picking up fleas. And What is allowing yourself to be around someone like that all the time telling you?  You’re not worthy of better treatment. You don’t matter enough to change things. Or worse yet, you’re subconsciously saying you aren’t capable of changing things, you’re stuck and its not your fault.  That feels victimy to me and we don’t allow ourselves to play the victim, never a cool role. Sometimes in order to have your own back, you have to distance yourself from relationships that are dragging you down.