271: Working Through the “Roommate Phase" with Postpartum Therapist Melissa Fairhurst

In this episode, I sit down with Melissa Fairhurst, a postpartum therapist and maternal mental health expert, to discuss the various challenges new parents can encounter with each other during the postpartum phase and ways to work through this overwhelming time. Melissa shares how her own postpartum experiences have informed her work, what the “roommate phase” is and why it feels so permanent when you’re in it, and how these unexpected moments of disconnect can arise with your partner. We also discuss the unspoken expectations we have about our partners before the baby arrives and how that can set us up for resentment, how it’s imperative to accept that the non-birthing partner can’t fully understand the birthing partner’s experience, and why it’s essential to normalize couple’s therapy. Melissa shares tips for communicating your needs to your partner, why it’s important not to let resentments fester, and why “I” statements are more effective than “you” statements. Finally, we discuss the importance of setting yourself up for support before the baby arrives, and ways you can try to prioritize fun to reconnect as a couple. Key Takeaway / Points:Melissa’s work as a postpartum therapist and how her own postpartum experiences inform her workOn the usage of the term “roommate phase” and why it feels so permanent when you are in itOn the unexpected moments of disconnect that arise with your partner when you become new parentsOn the expectations we have of our partners before our baby arrivesOn accepting that the non-birthing partner will never fully understand what the birthing partner is going throughOn the need for normalizing couples therapyOn the necessity of communication with your partner about needs, expectations, and why it’s essential to not let resentments festerThe power of speaking in “I” statementsOn rebuilding emotional intimacy as new parentsOn setting yourself up with support and resources before your baby arrivesOn the absence of support for mothers in societyOn prioritizing fun as a couple and strategies to reconnectThis episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.Discover Cotton: The Fabric of Now at TheFabricofOurLives.comGo to Thrivemarket.com/cameron for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 giftVisit Carawayhome.com/CAMERON to receive up to 20% off your next purchaseGo to Deinde.com and use code CAMERON for 25% off from 11/22-12/3Visit NOBULL here and use code CAMERON30 for 30% off your orderVisit repurpose.com and use code CAMERON25 for 25% off your entire orderInstagram: Check out Instagram Teen Accounts!Follow Melissa:Instagram: @mommebe_wellWebsite: mommebewell.comFollow me:Instagram: @cameronoaksrogersSubstack: Fill Your CupWebsite: cameronoaksrogers.comTikTok: @cameronoaksrogersYoutube: Cameron RogersCreative Lead: Amelie YeagerProduced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.