272 - A Line of Fire

In his attempt to distance himself from the increasingly tedious God's Not Dead franchise, David A.R. White tries out a standard action thriller with the finest washed up actors Hollywood has to offer. It's 2025's A Line of Fire, starring Cuba Gooding Jr., Jason Patric, Katrina Bowden, and Scott Baio. Cash (White) is a retired FBI agent, widower, great dad, fantastic cook, and patriot with amazing hair who everyone likes and is cool. When his former partner is gunned down at a yacht party by GTA Online maniacs on WaveRunners, her niece Jamie (Bowden) retreats to a safe house and calls Cash for help. He takes time out of being the greatest dad and man who's ever lived to save her, gunning down meaty goons with CGI muzzle flashes and computer squibs. Despite being the greatest FBI agent to ever live and smartest man alive, he seems unconcerned that every time he calls his former FBI buddies for help, his plans are thwarted by the homicidal drug cartel. Josef (Patric) knows his every move: casting his chess piece acolytes across the board via Facetime from his Southern California McMansion. Meanwhile, Javier (Gooding Jr.) traipses around his chaste fully-clothed Miami strip club, fielding Zoom calls for his drug empire over the sound of quiet club music. Can Cash save Jamie and his daughters (who are of course kidnapped) in time? Can he trust his former FBI colleagues, such as the Nick Offerman-y Rocco (Tommy Snider) or the fashion homunculus Joan Rycker (Eve Richards, whose acting is so bad it makes me question the order of the universe)? You'll have to listen to find out!