This is Optimal Living Daily Episode 2798. Try this the next time you want to change a habit by Sarah Stanzai of Prospecttherapy.com, and my narrator, Justin Mollack, reading you blogs every single day of the year, including holidays. And very rarely I do a week of flashback episodes, usually when I'm not feeling well. It's been a long time, but I think I need this week to rest, so I'm sharing one from the past.
But I think it's worth the re-listen if you have already heard it. So with that, let's get right to it as we optimize your life. Try this next time you want to change a habit by Sarah Stanzai of Prospecttherapy.com. Just a new year, right around the corner, you might be on team, resolutions are both.
But in case there is a habit or two that you've been wanting to break, here's one trick to help make it easier and more likely that you'll follow through any time of year. We've written before about why your goal setting may not get off the ground, but once you've decided to make a change, it can feel overwhelming to think about. Why is changing habits so hard? One reason why new habits feel daunting is that we worry we will have to change everything in our lives along with it.
And once we sign up for that, we'll probably you if you're dealing with anxiety and perfectionism and are obsessed with control. I'm looking at you while intentioned list makers who inexplicably aren't able to follow through on their overzealous scheduling and expectations, but I digress. Another reason we avoid change is that habits serve some purpose for us. Even if they seem unhealthy or irrational on the surface, there is a reason we engage in them over and over.
Routine itself brings comfort. That's why people with anxiety like to rewatch the same movies because the predictability is reassuring. Aside from habit itself being pleasing to us, the specific behaviors may help us feel distracted, important, needed, useful, carefree, or something else. So there's no need for going cold turkey.
I don't want you to set yourself up for failure. You'll only reinforce what you think you can do and then you'll feel guilty for doing the same old things. Try this. Add the new before you take away the old.
For example, if you want to start exercising, just start. I'll leave it to you to figure out if you prefer solo or group exercise, something routine and straightforward like X minutes of jogging or creative and multifaceted like kickboxing or crossfit. Try different things if you want, but go ahead and start by adding it to your life. The thing is, you don't also have to buy all brand new gear, take up meal prepping, quit smoking, change your work schedule, and block out your social life, you can still be a party animal on Friday night and a gym rat on Saturday morning or afternoon.
This can work with basically any habits or behavior you want to change. If your relationship is unfulfilling but you don't want to break up, you don't have to force it in one way or the other, instead, connect with supportive people too, like one coffee or lunch or movie night a month. Maybe your relationship will improve once you're not relying on it to supply all of your happiness. Or maybe spending time with friends will help clarify what you need out of a relationship and you'll realize that you want it to end, but at least the decision will be more clear and like 3% easier.
Maybe you procrastinate and feel like you waste a lot of your time. Well, for one, you do not need to be productive 100% of the time to be a valuable and happy person, but if it's hard to get off the couch every day after work, you don't have to feel guilty about it. You can still binge watch TV or play video games or scroll through social media as much as you want. You can also download an audiobook and utilize your commute time, get ingredients and cook a new recipe, learn a new hobby by watching YouTube and then actually try it.
Take a buddy to a local animal rescue and volunteer to socialize future pets. Maybe you feel like your food and drink choices are draining your energy. Firstly, you're allowed to eat and drink whatever you want, you don't need to restrict your food choices, and you definitely don't need to overhaul your whole kitchen, but you can literally start by popping a multivitamin, then getting yourself a water bottle. Add in non-alcoholic choices next time you go to a party.
What causes bad habits in the first place? Some of these habits are really just symptoms of underlying issues, like trying to avoid depression and negative feelings, relying on others to define yourself worth, or anxiety about trying to prove your competence. The thing is, you don't have to get to the underlying cause first before you add more enjoyable or healthy habits. You don't have to figure out your sh- before making a fresh start, otherwise most of us would never do anything new.
Besides, the cause may become clear after you get some perspective anyway. But while we're at it, therapy can be a great addition to your routine, see what I did there, and it still doesn't mean you have to overhaul your life. And if you've been thinking about starting therapy but are hesitant about what will come to light, just remember that you can start by adding one healthy habit, and having a non-judgmental place to lay everything out will help you sort out what you want to keep and what can go. Why does this work?
Like I said, it's hard to remove old ways of coping before you replace them with a new way to get that need met. As you build momentum with things that you're proud of, the other habits may fall away more naturally. Once you start getting in the habit of working out, you might be less interested in staying up late and partying as much. Once you find meaningful relationships, you might be less interested in putting up with those that make you feel bad.
Once you find hobbies you enjoy, you might be more motivated to spend your time in enriching ways. But even if you're not, you're still adding positive things to your life, and that's always a win. You just listen to the post titled Try This Next Time You Want To Change A Habit by Sarah Bannasi of Prospecttherapy.com. I'm constantly thinking about how to optimize my health, what supplements to take, hours of sleep, what my diet should focus on.
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And head to superpower.com and use code old at checkout for an additional $20 off your membership. They get a Sarah a great tip to remember, and something I definitely believe in from my own personal experience. I've talked about it before that, along with perfectionist tendencies, I have the all or nothing mentality, which actually is probably related to perfectionism now that I think about it. But with that mentality, it's hard to think, oh, it's okay if I don't have a perfect week of exercising a little bit every single day, or it's fine if I had a big dessert.
Well, instead, it's easy to think, well, I missed one day, so I might as well skip tomorrow or the next few days, and then I'll start back up on the first of the month, and then I'll be perfect. It's super easy to fall back into that mindset. So what she said about still binging TV or playing video games or scrolling through social media, but adding in something good, that's a big step in the right direction. Trying to both add something good and remove the bad is going to be much more difficult than just one small addition.
So what can you add that's really small today, but that could improve your life even just a little bit? There are plenty of things. We just have to pick one and try it out. So do try it out.
Let me know how it goes. Have a great rest of your day, and I'll see you tomorrow for the Friday show where you're optimal life.