28 - Attract, Don't Chase

I recently heard the wisdom of “Attract, Don’t Chase” while listening to a business podcast. They were naturally talking about business opportunities but I think that is real sage advice for dating and relationships. Today’s episode will be short but very effective if you begin to practice it.Chasing Does Not AttractThis is on a very small level, but for those of you on social media, have you encountered someone who sees you like their post or comment, reaches out to you to try to connect, and you sense they have an agenda? That’s chasing and for me, there’s always feels like there’s a desperate energy to it. It doesn’t draw you, ie, attract you to the other person.I understand people are lonely and really want to connect but I believe that ultimately you connect more with people by pulling your energy inward to what you want in a relationship and what kind of person you want to be with.The Power to Attract Check out Episode 10 on How to Cultivate the Power to Attract. Focusing on what you draw to you, rather than pursuing someone, or maybe even trying to put your agenda on them, helps you to stay with yourself and your sense of confidence and power. When we are in attract mode, that tends to naturally increase our self esteem and confidence because we’re placing our energy on what we have to offer, rather than getting something. Think about how you have felt chasing someone or something. Yes, there can be a bit of a thrill in the challenge but it can also not feel encouraging or self affirming.How to Put Attracting Into Practice I want you to begin practicing attracting by noticing where you’re chasing in dating and relationships. Then ask yourself why are you chasing that particular person. What are you hoping to get from them? A certain feeling? Validation of some kind? Maybe you’re looking for feelings of loneliness to go away? Be real honest with yourself. Then ask how can you focus on attracting in your life the very thing you’re looking outside you for.Then work on identifying what within you, what qualities within you, can draw the very thing you desire.Where Do We Go From Here? Download the Relationship Vision guide in the show notes. It’s a very powerful exercise in helping you identify what you want to attract into your life and helping you to focus on that. The guide has you think about all the qualities in someone else that you want to attract into your life. You get them all down and then, this is where the magic happens, you begin saying the list you created every day until it’s ingrained into your thinking. Once this happens, you go automatically into attract mode versus chasing. I can tell you from personal experience, this exercise helped me to foCheck out our Dating Memberships:Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation | Artwork photo by Elevate