Dating, Relationships, and Disability

Register here for the TODAY's free workshop, The Real Work of Dating with Disability: What No One Else Is Teaching. I'll be reviewing how to use a skill set approach to dating with a disability. The workshop will be geared toward  professionals but anyone is welcome to join. Dating and Mental Health May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and few things stir up our emotional world quite like dating. Rejection, vulnerability, self-doubt — dating touches some of our deepest places. But here's what can genuinely change how you experience it: your thoughts. Download this guide to help with your thoughts on dating. It's not the bad dates, the unanswered texts, or the awkward silences that make you feel bad. It's what you think about those moments. And when that really sinks in, it's a game changer — because it means you have far more control over how you feel than you might realize. Thoughts vs. Beliefs It helps to understand the difference between thoughts and beliefs. Thoughts are like the weather — always moving, easy to redirect once you notice them. Beliefs are more like the climate — deeply rooted and harder to shift. Because thoughts are so flexible, they're the perfect starting point for real change, right now, today. Your Inner Dialogue Shapes Your Reality Here's something worth sitting with: everything you've ever created in your life started as a thought first. Before the relationship, the date, even that first message — there was a thought. The quality of your inner dialogue matters more than you think. The Framework: How Thoughts Become Results A simple framework makes this concrete: Circumstance → Thought → Feeling → Action → Result. Something happens, you form an opinion about it, that creates a feeling, which drives your actions, which produce a result. The circumstance is neutral. Your thought sets everything in motion. Unintentional vs. Intentional Thinking Take someone who's single and has a disability. If their automatic thought is "nobody will want me," they feel defeated, pull back, and stay stuck. The circumstance didn't create that — the thought did. Flip the script: same person, same circumstance, but they choose the thought "I have so much to offer." Suddenly they feel confident, show up differently, and dating starts to feel full of possibility. Nothing outside changed. Just the thought. Choose Your Thought, Change Your Result One last trick: reverse engineer the process. Start with the result you want, then ask what thought would need to be true to get there. And whenever you catch yourself spiraling, pause and ask: "Is this thought actually getting me the feeling and result I want?" If the answer is no — that's your invitation to choose again. Download this guide to help with your thoughts on dating.

Register here for the upcoming free workshop on May 12, The Real Work of Dating with Disability: What No One Else Is Teaching. I'll be reviewing how to use a skill set approach to dating with a disability. The workshop will be geared toward  professionals but anyone is welcome to join. Steve and Julie Wagstaff are the married founders of SwagAbility, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping people navigate life after sudden, life-altering circumstances — primarily health-related. Steve became a C5 quadriplegic at 19 after diving into a river and striking a sandbar. Julie, who had a crush on Steve before his accident (while he was dating her best friend), began dating him afterward, and the two married after a three-year relationship. They have been married 26 years. What Is SwagAbility? SwagAbility — a blend of "Steven Wagstaff" and Steve's old nickname "Swag" — was born during a seven-month hospital stay when Steve confronted his own mortality and asked what lasting legacy he could leave. The mission: walk alongside people whose lives were suddenly turned upside down, showing them that thriving is still possible. They run three podcasts — Interrupted by Adversity, The SwagAbility Show (covering health, assistive technology, and caregiver burnout), and Spiritually Starved, a daily Bible-based show. Love, Vulnerability & Disability Steve initially wrote off romance entirely, seeing himself as no longer the strong, athletic man he once was. A phone call from a friend revealed that Julie's visits weren't out of pity — she genuinely liked him. That revelation shifted everything. Over three years of dating, Steve learned that manhood wasn't about physical ability but about what he carried in his heart and mind. Julie never saw the wheelchair as an obstacle; she saw the person. Myths They Want to Dispel The couple pushes back hard against common assumptions: that people in wheelchairs can't speak for themselves, that disability equals inability, and that partners of disabled people deserve a "hero" label. Their core message — disability doesn't mean inability — extends to intimacy, joy, and purpose. They emphasize creativity, humor, and radical honesty as the foundations of their relationship. Advice for the Newly Injured Steve urges people to reject the lie that they are now broken or inferior. Julie adds: don't hide, stay visible, and remember you were born with innate worth and the capacity to love and be loved. Both stress the critical importance of a strong support system — and invite anyone struggling to reach SwagAbility at [email protected] or 506-375-4418. The Five Stages of Dating Success curriculum is now available at the introductory price of $97 (you save $78). Get it here. Check out coaching in dating and relationships with me to get the support and relationships you want.

Register here for the upcoming free workshop on May 12, The Real Work of Dating with Disability: What No One Else Is Teaching. I'll be reviewing how to use a skill set approach to dating with a disability. The workshop will be geared toward  professionals but anyone is welcome to join. Today will be more of a personal episode as the day this podcast publishes, is my parents' 75th wedding anniversary. Now they have both been gone for several years and I'm sure they're having a heavenly celebration. But the milestone of 75 years has given me pause to reflect on how we desire or certainly not desire certain relationships based on what we see in our parents' relationship. A Love That Lasted 65 Years My parents were married 65 years when my father died. That is such an unfathomable amount of time for most of us to be committed to just one person. Yet when my dad passed, my mother in her grieving process said to me, "I just wanted more time with him." Can you imagine? In reality, though, my parents had a genuinely happy marriage and just really liked being with the other. I remember growing up having a friend comment that my parents did everything together. Except dad was an avid hunter and mom drew the line there. 😉 Why I'm So Passionate About Relationships I'm sharing all this because sometimes when I'm deep in creating resources to help people with dating and relationships or doing another live video on why relationships matter for people with disabilities or preparing a talk on it, I pause and think, is my passion about people finding love abnormal? Seriously I wonder at times. Then I remember most people who can completely nerd out on their work have these moments of doubt and it's totally normal. How Our Parents Shape What We Want I think for better or worse, our parents' relationship influences a great deal of our desire for our own intimate relationships. Maybe if your parents had a bad relationship, you learned what you don't want from your primary relationship. Maybe your parents' relationship caused you to be very hesitant to commit to one person. If you're someone like me who grew up with a model of a loving relationship between my parents, maybe the respect, nurturing, and friendship you witnessed planted the seed of desire for a similar kind of loving intimacy in your life. I would encourage you to spend some time thinking about it. Ask yourself, whether it's with the intention to not replicate what you saw in your parents' relationship but attract the goodness and healthy qualities you saw and felt into your own life. That, my friend, I believe is your heart calling you to what you know you deserve. If you're someone who definitely doesn't want what your parents had in their relationship, honor it. That's telling you something vital that you need to listen to as well, that you want better for yourself. Check out my instagram to see a photo of my parents in 1951 on their wedding day. Coming Up Next Week Thank you for letting me share a more personal message with you today. I hope it resonated. Next week on the show we're going to have one of my favorite topics. I'm interviewing a couple who have been married 26 years and we'll talk about love, commitment, and disability.

Emily Beecher is a 50-year-old single mom and certified coach who specializes in working with neurodivergent individuals, particularly those with autism and ADHD. She was diagnosed with ADHD at 44 after her daughter received her diagnosis. With a 25-year career in media and arts, Emily discovered her passion for developing people and transitioned into coaching. Understanding Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) RSD is a common challenge in ADHD that causes intense emotional reactions to perceived rejection. While neurotypical people might quickly move past an awkward moment, someone with RSD may ruminate on it for years. Emily's key advice: ask yourself if someone is truly rejecting you or simply stating a preference. More importantly, evaluate whether you're actually interested in them—don't let RSD override your own feelings. Disclosure and Dating Authenticity Emily recommends a flexible approach to disclosing disabilities. You can change your strategy with each person and date based on comfort and safety. She typically mentions her ADHD casually on first dates to gauge reactions early. However, she emphasizes trusting your instincts—if you feel unsafe disclosing, don't. When people minimize or dismiss your diagnosis, they're showing you who they are. The "Too Much" Revelation Emily had a breakthrough realization: she was the source of her amazing first dates, not her dates. She brought the fun, playful energy. This insight helped her stop making herself smaller and instead seek partners who could match her energy level. The key indicator? How you feel after the date—energized or drained. Building Attractiveness from Within Feeling attractive starts with self-compassion and self-care. Emily emphasizes finding what makes you feel good—whether clothing, music, or hobbies—and prioritizing those things. Attractiveness isn't about being attractive to others; it's about feeling attractive yourself. Getting Back into Dating For those scared to start dating, Emily advises: acknowledge your fear, skip the apps if they feel overwhelming, and tell your friends you're ready. Friends know you well and can make introductions. Approach dating as an experiment—gather data, stay curious, and remember nothing has to be forever. Consider alternatives like speed dating, hobby groups, museum events, or themed meetups where you can be authentic while doing something you enjoy. Connect with Emily The Five Stages of Dating Success curriculum is now available at the introductory price of $97 (you save $78). Get it here. Check out coaching in dating and relationships with me to get the support and relationships you want.

The Five Stages of Dating Success is a rigorous, sequential curriculum for navigating the dating world. This isn't a feel-good framework—it's a skills-based approach addressing real challenges that many daters face. If you're tired of surface-level dating advice and ready for a strategic system that builds genuine confidence, addresses internalized doubts, and creates sustainable success, this framework offers the concrete tools and honest guidance most dating content avoids. The Core Problem: Most people struggle in dating not because they haven't found the right person, but because they're attempting Stage 4 work (actual dating) without completing Stages 1-3. They're swiping on apps while carrying unexamined shame and uncertainty about their worthiness of connection. Stage 1: Self-Worth This requires unflinching self-examination—naming negative beliefs about yourself as a partner and writing genuinely true counter-statements. Build a Whole Person Asset List that includes strengths born from disability experience. Follow disability-positive role models to recalibrate what's possible. Stage 2: Building Resilience Practice difficulty before experiencing it. Role-play rejection, develop your Reality Check Method, and master anxiety management tools before high-stakes moments demand them. Build an intentional support network—accountability partners, disability community peers, mentors. Stage 3: Infrastructure Create systems that enable authentic connection: a three-tiered disclosure framework, accessible venue database, comprehensive safety protocol, and realistic budget including the "accessibility tax." Remove variables that interfere with genuine connection. Stage 4: Consistent Action Maintain thirty minutes of daily intentional engagement. Document insights in a dating journal as a strategic tool. Identify three ways you might compromise your authenticity under pressure and develop response strategies. Your values are non-negotiable. Stage 5: Giving Back When you achieve dating confidence, you acquire an obligation: become evidence for those in Stage 1 who believe they're undateable. Your story becomes their proof that disability doesn't disqualify anyone from love and partnership. This curriculum moves from self-discovery to self-mastery to mentorship. The Five Stages of Dating Success curriculum will be released April 15, 2026. The presale price is just $97 (you save $78). Get it here. Check out coaching in dating and relationships with me to get the support and relationships you want. Take our Dating Success quiz. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

Friending App: Combating Loneliness Through Authentic Connections Gabor Kadas, founder of Friending Inc., appeared on the "Dating, Relationships and Disability" podcast to discuss his innovative friendship-focused app launching in March 2026. The app addresses a critical social issue: 50-60 million Americans report feeling lonely. Key Features: Friending differs fundamentally from dating apps by emphasizing verified, in-person connections. Every user must verify their identity through Persona using government-issued ID, eliminating fake profiles and bots. The app limits users to 10 messages before requiring face-to-face meetings with people within 50 miles, forcing genuine connections rather than endless online chatting. Safety features include an emergency response system where users can tap their screen three times to alert police, notify a friend, or send push notifications to nearby Friending users if they feel uncomfortable during meetups. Beyond the App: Friending extends into physical products, including branded coffee with QR codes for personal messages, and "Are You In?" activity cards launching later in 2026. These encourage offline activities and shared experiences. Disability Inclusion: When asked about accessibility for people with disabilities, Kadas acknowledged that loneliness affects everyone over 28, regardless of disability status. The app allows users to create custom activity cards tailored to their abilities and accessibility needs. Users can specify wheelchair-accessible locations or activities suited to limited mobility. Kadas invited suggestions via [email protected] to better serve the disability community. COVID's Impact: The app addresses post-pandemic isolation, particularly for those working from home who lost daily social interactions. Kadas emphasized that loneliness affects both mental and physical health, costing the economy $150 billion in reduced productivity. Availability: Currently iOS-only, with Android and web versions planned for later in 2026. The web version will improve accessibility for users with disabilities. Download at Friending.com or the App Store. The Five Stages of Dating Success curriculum will be released April 15, 2026. The presale price is just $97 (you save $78). Get it here. Check out coaching in dating and relationships with me to get the support and relationships you want. Take our Dating Success quiz. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

The Five Stages of Dating Success: What Transformation Actually Looks Like Dating with a disability isn't luck—it's a learnable skill set that can be developed, refined, and mastered. Here's what real transformation looks like through the Five Stages framework. The Foundation Problem Most people start dating without inner work, bringing unexamined negative beliefs, unprocessed shame, and desperate need for external validation. Dating becomes exhausting auditions instead of adventure. Stage 1 interrupts this cycle—the inner work isn't optional, it's the entire foundation. What Stage 1 Actually Builds Not vague self-improvement, but concrete outcomes: clear values and relationship goals; targeted belief-rewriting with specific counter-statements rooted in truth; a Whole Person Asset List proving what you bring (including resilience and advocacy skills forged by disability); and a Possibility Feed—living evidence that people with disabilities build beautiful relationships. You don't hope you're dateable—you know it and can articulate why. Stage 2: Resilience as Practice Resilience isn't a trait you have or don't have—it's built systematically through practice before you need it. Practice assertiveness in low-stakes situations before dates. Role-play difficult scenarios. Develop your Reality Check Method before rejection hits. Learn anxiety management daily. Confidence isn't absence of fear—it's accumulated evidence you can handle what comes. Stage 3: Strategy as Self-Respect Your disclosure framework, accessible venue database, safety protocols, dating budget—this isn't overhead, it's self-respect made practical. You're saying: my time, energy, and safety matter. When done well, you walk into dates focused on connection—logistics are handled. Stage 4: Dating as Data Treat dating as information, not verdict. Every interaction generates learning: What conversations feel alive? What qualities draw you in? What brings out your authentic self? Your insights journal is strategic, not a disappointment diary. Celebrate wins beyond relationship status—dating becomes continuous education in yourself and connection. Stage 5: Mastery & Meaning Your journey becomes someone else's map. Conduct regular reviews. Try new approaches with curiosity. Mentor others. Sharing your story affirms your own journey—you become evidence of possibility. You're Not Behind You're exactly where your history brought you—a legitimate starting place. You're not starting from zero. You're starting from yourself. And that's more than enough. The Five Stages of Dating Success curriculum will be released April 15, 2026. The presale price is just $97 (you save $78). Get it here. Check out coaching in dating and relationships with me to get the support and relationships you want. Take our Dating Success quiz. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

Keri Green is a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 20 years of experience and a certified sex therapist (AASECT). She specializes in relationships, sex, and intimacy, working daily with individuals and couples on their most vulnerable topics around dating and sexuality. Why Sex Therapy? Keri saw a need to normalize sex and validate sexual identity. Whether someone grows up in a sex-shamed or sex-positive home, most still feel uncertain about their needs. "If we struggle having that conversation with ourselves, it's overwhelming to have it with a partner." Everyone deserves to explore their body sexually—if they choose to. Asexuality & Empowerment Keri emphasizes client-defined sexuality. Whether someone identifies as asexual (no interest in sex) or highly sexual, empowerment comes from owning your choice confidently. Asexual people can absolutely date and form meaningful connections—it's about honest communication about what you want: companionship, cuddling, travel, without sex being the endpoint. Biggest Misconception That people with disabilities don't want or can't have sex. "Everybody deserves to have sex." We all have limitations—physical, emotional, mental. Sex can be defined however works for you: not just penetration, but connection, pleasure, affection, vulnerability. Late Sexual/Dating Experience For adults without sexual experience who want it: name it, don't shame it. Explore barriers. Often involves grief work—grieving lost opportunities or capabilities. Then focus forward: "What kind of partner do I want? Let's make it happen." Building Dating Confidence Start small. Dating is one step beyond friendship—same skills apply. Be kind, ask questions, give eye contact. Don't label everything a "date" immediately. Low pressure builds comfort, which builds confidence. The right person respects your pace. Handling Rejection Fear Go slow. First date can be a phone call or FaceTime. The right person won't pressure you. You deserve to have needs met—don't people-please into discomfort. Online Dating Drama Disappointment happens everywhere—apps, dog parks, book clubs. Love is a risk and takes time. You deserve to find the right match. Final Advice Normalize and validate anxiety, but remember: confidence is the #1 trait people seek. Come across as someone who knows what they bring. "You would be lucky to spend time with me." You can be both anxious AND confident. Own it. Contact: kerigreenLMFT.com (licensed in California and Colorado, telehealth available) Resources: The Power to Attract guide Check out coaching in dating and relationships with me to get the support and relationships you want. Take our Dating Success quiz. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

The Five Stages of Dating Success: A Complete Roadmap Most people skip straight to action—download apps, create profiles, go on dates—then wonder why rejection stings so much or why they keep attracting the wrong people. For those with disabilities, add layers of disclosure anxiety, accessibility challenges, and navigating others' biases. Sustainable dating confidence can't be built from the outside in. Each stage builds on the last, creating a coherent journey instead of scattered obstacles. Stage 1: Building the Foundation (4-6 months) Stop asking "Will someone accept me despite my disability?" Start asking "Are we compatible?" Clarify your values. Build a Possibility Feed of people with disabilities thriving in relationships. Create your Whole Person Asset List—everything you bring to a partnership, including strengths forged by your disability experience. You can't build a healthy relationship with someone else until you've built one with yourself. Stage 2: Building Confidence (3-4 months) Make your internal foundation externally durable. Practice assertiveness using frameworks like DESC. Build rejection resilience through role-play. Develop a Reality Check Method to stop attributing every disappointment to your disability. Learn anxiety management tools. Build your support network. The goal isn't eliminating fear—it's acting authentically despite it. Stage 3: Getting Strategic (2 months) Remove barriers to authentic connection. Audit dating platforms for accessibility. Develop a three-tiered disclosure framework. Build a database of accessible venues. Create a realistic budget accounting for the accessibility tax. Enter every interaction focused on connection, not logistics. Stage 4: Taking Action (Ongoing) Show up consistently and authentically. Engage intentionally daily. Maintain a dating insights journal. Redefine wins beyond relationship status—celebrate growth, boundaries honored, authentic conversations. Stage 5: Mastery & Mentorship (Lifelong) Refine your confidence. Share your journey. Your story becomes someone else's evidence that this is possible. You're not behind. You're not broken. You're building something that lasts. Start where you are, stay in your stage, trust the process. The Five Stages of Dating Success curriculum will be released April 15, 2026. The presale price is just $97 (you save $78). Get it here. Check out coaching in dating and relationships with me to get the support and relationships you want. Take our Dating Success quiz. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

Marrying America isn't another dating app—it's an intentional courting website designed for people seeking their forever person. Founded by Jeremy Nelson, the platform addresses a critical gap: too many dating platforms mix people with completely different intentions, leaving serious relationship-seekers frustrated by matches who aren't looking for commitment. How the Match System Works The platform's design ensures intentionality through strategic limitations. Users can only send five match requests per month—that's it. When you send a request, you reserve a credit that goes into escrow. The recipient has seven days to evaluate your profile. If they decline, you get your credit back at no cost to them. If they accept, both parties spend a credit, creating mutual financial investment that signals genuine interest from day one. This isn't about profit—it's about commitment. Dating Versus Courting Jeremy distinguishes clearly between dating and courting. Dating is about having fun with no particular destination in mind. Courting means you're looking for a specific outcome: a serious, sustained, lifelong partnership. Marrying America facilitates courting, not casual dating. Every person on the platform has explicitly joined to find their forever relationship, eliminating the guesswork about intentions. Built for Everyone The platform is completely inclusive—open to all races, orientations, abilities, and disabilities. "No matter what makes you you," the site welcomes anyone seeking serious commitment. It's web-based (not an app) and accessible through any browser on phones, computers, or tablets. Joining is free, and users get their first three credits at no cost with access to 100% of features. Safety Through Intentionality The five-match monthly limit serves a dual purpose: it ensures thoughtful selection and discourages scammers. Bad actors need volume to operate effectively; limiting matches to five per month makes the platform inefficient for anyone with dishonest intentions. While you can only send five requests monthly, you can receive unlimited requests—then decide which to accept. Simple and No-Risk Creating a profile takes just 10-15 minutes. There's no monthly subscription, no recurring fees, no ongoing costs. You can actively search or simply let others find you. Visit marryamerica.com to join. Check out coaching in dating and relationships with me to get the support and relationships you want. Take our Dating Success quiz.

Being overlooked in dating—especially when experiencing sexual ableism—hurts deeply. Your pain is valid. But understand this: being overlooked reflects others' limited perspectives and society's narrow view of desirability, not your actual worth. You're not the problem; their inability to see beyond surface judgments is. Recognize Your Own Value First Stop questioning if you're "dateable enough." Instead, create a concrete list of twenty-five attractive qualities: your humor, resilience, compassion, intelligence, unique perspectives, and strengths developed through life experience. Choose your top five and read them daily for thirty days. This rewires your brain to recognize your value first, which fundamentally changes how you show up and how others perceive you. Your Disability Adds to Your Value Reject the narrative that your disability is something to overcome. The determination, empathy, problem-solving skills, and depth of character that come from navigating the world with a disability are genuine assets. You're whole and complete as you are—not broken. The right partner will see your disability not as a deficit but as one aspect of the complex, valuable person you are. Set Boundaries and Refuse to Settle When you've felt invisible, there's temptation to accept any attention, even from people who don't treat you well. Decide now: you'll only accept people who genuinely respect you and see your value. Trust your intuition about who truly "gets" you. Saying no to those who treat you as an afterthought isn't demanding—it's self-respect, clearing space for the right people. Take Action and Seek Your People Don't withdraw—actively put yourself out there. Focus on enjoying the process rather than fixating on outcomes. Try different approaches: online platforms, social activities, disability-focused communities, expanding your circle through hobbies. Not everyone will be your match, and that's fine. You're looking for your people who recognize what makes you special. Build Independent Self-Worth Cultivate self-esteem that exists independently of dating success. Surround yourself with supportive people, pursue passions, build a meaningful life. When you develop this foundation, you stop radiating doubt and start emanating confidence—making you more attractive while ensuring your happiness doesn't depend on someone else choosing you. You've already chosen yourself. Resources The Power to Attract guide can help breaking through feeling invisible.  Check out coaching in dating and relationships with me to get the support and relationships you want. Take our Dating Success quiz.

About Amy Reiley Amy Reiley holds a master's degree in gastronomy and is a nutrition coach who has authored 5 cookbooks. She runs EatSomethingsexy.com, where she explores the connection between food and sexuality, having studied aphrodisiac foods for over 20 years. The Food-Sexuality Connection Amy explains that food affects sexuality through multiple pathways: nutrition, physiological effects, and sensory experiences. For example, chili peppers raise body temperature and cause physical reactions that can enhance arousal. The key is personalizing food choices to the individual rather than following generic aphrodisiac lists. Romantic Meal Planning For romantic dinners, Amy recommends keeping meals simple and light. Heavy foods like cream-based pasta can make people tired rather than energized. Better choices include fish, mushroom-stuffed ravioli, or wild game (lower in saturated fat, higher in protein). Budget-friendly options include roasted whole chicken instead of expensive cuts. Disability and Intimacy When addressing intimacy for people with disabilities who face assumptions about their sexuality, Amy suggests using intentional food choices and classic aphrodisiacs like sparkling wine (Spanish Cava is affordable), oysters, and chocolate as conversation starters to challenge these misconceptions. Dietary Restrictions Aphrodisiac eating works with any dietary restriction. Amy's website lists 88 aphrodisiac foods accommodating various needs. She emphasizes asking partners about their restrictions shows care—part of food as a love language. Resources Amy offers a free guide called "What Turns You On at the Table" at eatsomethingsexy.com/podcast, encouraging couples to explore how foods make them feel and connect mindfully around eating.

Action #1: Create Your Personal Belief Statement Write one belief statement for each of the 5 areas. Choose ONE to focus on weekly. Set a daily reminder to repeat it aloud 3 times—morning, midday, and before bed. Why it works: Repetition rewires neural pathways. Speaking your new belief aloud, even when it feels untrue, trains your brain to believe something different about yourself. Action #2: List Your "Power to Attract" Qualities Write 10-15 qualities that make you attractive as a partner—personality traits, skills, values, how you show up for people. Ask 2-3 trusted friends to add to your list. Keep it visible and read it when you feel defeated. Why it works: When you're not getting results, you fixate on what you lack. This forces you to identify what you already have that draws people to you—qualities you should showcase in your profile and on dates. Action #3: Have the "What I Want" Conversation Schedule a call with a trusted friend. Have them interview you: "What treatment do you deserve?" "What would excite you about someone?" "What's a dealbreaker?" Let them take notes and hold you accountable when you start settling. Why it works: Saying your standards OUT LOUD makes them real. Having a witness creates accountability and gives you someone to call you out when desperation makes you forget what you deserve. Action #4: Record and Practice Talking About Your Disability Record yourself discussing your disability as if on a date. First take: say what comes naturally. Listen back. Second take: reframe to emphasize resilience and value. Keep re-recording until it feels authentic AND confident. Why it works: People sense inauthenticity. Practicing out loud develops muscle memory for confident communication. Hearing yourself say it with pride changes how you'll show up in real moments. Action #5: Take One Bold Dating Action This Week Commit to ONE scary action: message someone interesting, ask someone out in person, update your profile, say yes to a setup, or try a new way to meet people. Do it before you feel "ready." Why it works: Action creates momentum. Hopelessness thrives in inaction. Taking action from new beliefs proves rejection won't kill you and builds confidence through evidence. Resources Five Beliefs to Successful Dating Interested in coaching with me in dating and relationships? Check this out. Take our Dating Success Quiz. Sign up for email dating tips  

Feeling hopeless in dating stems from negative beliefs about yourself, not actual flaws. Your mindset about your worth and what you offer influences dating success more than any other factor. When results don't come—no matches, no second dates—it's easy to spiral into "I'm not enough" thinking. The solution is shifting your core beliefs. Mindset Shift #1: Your Self-Worth Old belief: "No results means something's wrong with me" New belief: "I'm kind and loving and deserve a great relationship" Others sense your energy. Project confidence in your worth regardless of outcomes, and you'll naturally attract healthier connections. Your value isn't determined by swipes or texts. Mindset Shift #2: Your Disability Old belief: "My disability is why I'm failing" New belief: "Living with a disability makes me interesting" Your comfort with your challenges heavily influences dating success. Reframe your disability as what makes you unique and resilient. The right person sees it as an asset. Mindset Shift #3: Your Power to Attract Old belief: "I don't have what it takes to attract someone" New belief: "I attract people with my kind heart and warm personality" Lack of results doesn't mean you lack attractiveness—you may not be showcasing your best qualities. Identify your endearing traits (humor, listening skills, creativity) and let those shine. Mindset Shift #4: What You Deserve Old belief: "I should settle for anyone interested" New belief: "I deserve a healthy, happy relationship" Desperation makes you lower standards. Believing you deserve respect and admiration helps you recognize quality connections rather than just any connection. Mindset Shift #5: Your Ideal Partner Old belief: "Beggars can't be choosers" New belief: "I deserve someone I'm excited about" Get clear on qualities that matter most. This clarity helps you attract and recognize the right person instead of casting too wide a net. How to Practice Pick one belief statement and repeat it daily, even if it feels untrue initially. Notice the gradual shift in how you feel and show up in dating. Your beliefs create the energy that attracts results—not the other way around. Resources Five Beliefs to Successful Dating Power to Attract guide Take our Dating Success Quiz. Sign up for email dating tips

Overview Marriage and family therapist Pasha Marlowe, with 32 years of experience, discusses relationships through the lens of neurodiversity and non-apparent disabilities. She reveals that 53% of Gen Z identifies as neurodivergent and/or disabled, challenging common misconceptions. Understanding Neurodivergence Neurodivergence is an identity, not a diagnosis, encompassing autism, ADHD, dyslexia, traumatic brain injury, cerebral palsy, epilepsy, Down syndrome, and mental health challenges like anxiety, depression, CPTSD, and bipolar disorder. It represents anyone diverging from society's idea of "normal." This identity rejects the notion that differences equal disorder or brokenness, instead depathologizing and destigmatizing variations while acknowledging real challenges. Key Relationship Tools Access Intimacy: Partners share their access needs, support needs, and sensory needs—a universal practice beneficial for all couples, regardless of disability identity. RESPECT Framework: Neuro-inclusive questions covering how people prefer to receive recognition, communicate, their energy levels, and sensory preferences for environments and activities. Reframing Language Marlowe encourages removing "too" from descriptions—reframing "too emotional" as passionate, "too intense" as deep, and "impulsive" as spontaneous. She advocates for strength-based, affirming language rather than high/low functioning labels. Core Challenges Communication tops the list of issues, with couples often feeling they speak different languages or interpret words and tones differently. Honoring sensory needs is crucial for nervous system regulation and preventing conflict. NeuroBelonging The most important mindset shift: belonging to yourself first. Understanding personal values, truths, and needs creates wholeness whether partnered or not, preventing the "I'll be happy when" trap. Contact Pasha here.

I recently pivoted my work in dating and relationships and began a new company, Relatability LLC. Our mission is simple but transformative: we believe love is for everyone, and we're dedicated to making relationships accessible for people with disabilities. We work at every level of the disability services ecosystem—training professionals, developing curriculums, and providing one-on-one coaching for individuals ready to pursue meaningful romantic relationships. Training Professionals in Disability Services Our professional training programs create significant ripple effects. If you work in disability services, you know that dating and relationships are often the least addressed aspect of the lives you serve, yet it's one of the areas they care about most. Our training equips you with knowledge, sensitivity, and practical tools to support individuals in navigating romantic relationships, including our Five Stages of Dating Success framework you can implement immediately. The Impact on Communities When professionals receive the right training, they create environments where people with disabilities feel empowered to pursue relationships with confidence and dignity. That transformation starts with investing in the people who do this vital work every day. Dating and Relationships Curriculums Our curriculum development includes our Empowering Relationships Curriculum and Five Stages of Dating Success, which will be published in a few months. These comprehensive, structured programs allow organizations to provide consistent, high-quality relationship education. They focus on building genuine self-worth that includes one's disability, increasing confidence in dating and relationships, and developing essential skills—deep dives into the mindsets and strategies that lead to healthy, fulfilling relationships. Personalized Individual Coaching I offer personalized one-on-one coaching for individuals ready to take action in their dating lives. We address specific challenges, fears, and goals each person brings. Whether you're just starting to think about dating, getting back into it, or working through obstacles, coaching provides accountability, guidance, and practical strategies to move forward with confidence. Creating a Comprehensive Ecosystem of Support Together, professional training, curriculum development, and individual coaching create a comprehensive ecosystem. Professionals facilitate conversations and create supportive environments. Organizations implement curriculums that normalize relationship education. Individuals receive personalized coaching to apply these principles. That's how we're making love accessible—through sustained, multi-level support that creates lasting change. Visit relatabilityllc.com to learn more. Take our dating quiz or give it to someone you support.

Dr. Robin Buckley, a clinical psychologist turned executive coach,  specializes in helping female executives apply business strategies to their personal relationships. Overcoming Negative Dating Mindsets Dr. Buckley addresses how people—especially those who've been divorced or experienced relationship failures—often believe they're "not the relationship type." She explains this self-defeating thinking comes from the amygdala (fear center) and recommends challenging these thoughts with evidence to engage the prefrontal cortex (logical brain). The Power of Personal Mission Statements A key strategy Dr. Buckley recommends is creating a personal mission statement. She encourages clients to research how companies craft mission statements, then apply that structure to identify their own values, purpose, and unique traits. Her personal example centers on kindness as her highest value—a non-negotiable in all her relationships. The guide to writing a Kick Butt Dating Profile can help with this. Dating with Disabilities When discussing women with disabilities in dating, Dr. Buckley emphasizes separating disability from identity. She encourages focusing on what challenges have created in one's personality—resilience, humor, perseverance—rather than leading with the disability itself. Authenticity and acknowledging "the elephant in the room" with humor can help move past surface-level judgments. Sexual Ableism & Intimacy Dr. Buckley addresses how people with disabilities are often not seen as sexual beings. Her advice: know your own body first through self-exploration, then clearly communicate preferences to partners. A good partner will be willing to learn and be guided. Final Advice Put yourself out there despite vulnerability. Exposure is how others learn to understand and connect. While the burden often falls on those with disabilities to educate others, they hold the power to create change. Contact: drrobinbuckley.com and various social media platforms @drrobinbuckley.

Dating isn't magic—it's a skill set. If you have a disability and feel dating is complicated or terrifying, know this: it can be learned with time, guidance, and resilience. I've dedicated my practice to helping people with disabilities transform their dating lives. If you're ready to stop feeling stuck, keep listening. The Reality Dating is hard. You'll face rejection. But every "no" gets you closer to the right person. Every disappointment is data on your journey. You shouldn't do this alone. If you live with a disability, you've already built resilience in ways others haven't. That's a superpower. Together, we'll harness it. My Framework I use the Five Stages to Dating Success. A quiz identifies where you are, then we get clear on what skills help you level up. I give you specific activities that build those skills. This is where the real work begins. Worthy Fails One fun part is creating twenty-five Worthy Fails for thirty days. A Worthy Fail is a deliberate attempt at something challenging, knowing it might not be perfect—and that's okay. Strike up a conversation. Practice boundaries. Send that message. These are experiments that build competence and confidence. How It Works I work with three-session packages because one session isn't enough. Each is thirty minutes focused on what you do next. Between sessions, you take action. Real transformation happens through action. All sessions are virtual on Zoom. I also offer low-cost sessions for people on Social Security. You pay one at a time with proof of benefits. What Changes You'll gain increased self-esteem that spills into all areas of your life. You'll have a concrete dating plan. You'll feel secure bringing your disability into dating, knowing it adds to your value. You'll develop healthy boundaries and a clear vision of the partner you want. And you'll know you have the resilience to keep going—with someone in your corner believing in you. Ready? Take the Dating Success Quiz. Reach out. I'm taking on a limited number of clients. Maybe you need a three-session package or low-cost sessions. Either way, let's talk. You deserve a partner. You deserve a healthy relationship. You deserve to know you have what it takes.

Joni Woods is the author of "Burned, Blocked, and Better Than Ever," a book about her divorce experience and re-entry into dating. She wrote the book while going through her divorce in 2016 after 15 years of marriage, exploring both the pain of separation and the unexpected joy of dating again at age 36. She is also a mother of two. The Breaking Point in Marriage Joni stayed in an unhealthy marriage for years, spending 8 of 15 years in marriage counseling. The turning point came during a therapy session when her ex-husband claimed 100% of their problems were her fault. Even after years of therapy, he believed she hadn't changed or done the work. This moment made Joni realize the relationship would never improve, and she decided to leave. Performing Peace A key concept in her book is "performing peace"—constantly putting aside her own needs to maintain household harmony. Despite being a stay-at-home mom, her love language was words of affirmation, yet her husband refused to acknowledge her efforts, believing she was simply doing what was expected. This pattern of self-sacrifice left her emotionally unfulfilled. Radical Self-Awareness Joni discovered radical self-awareness by rejecting external expectations. Having spent her life as a pastor's wife adhering to church standards, she realized she didn't have to conform to others' definitions of who she should be. A missions trip incident—where she was criticized for showing kindness to a struggling team member—sparked her decision to live authentically rather than by imposed rules. Dating After Divorce Re-entering the dating world through apps shocked Joni with people's candor and requests. However, she also found many hurting individuals using dating to cover unresolved pain. Dating taught her she had an "inner tigress"—confidence and empowerment she'd suppressed for years. She grew comfortable being single and not needing relationships, which paradoxically made her more confident in dating. Key Lessons on Relationships Joni observes that people staying too long in unhealthy relationships often jump into rebound relationships without processing their pain. The critical first step toward change is self-reflection and accountability—understanding the role you played, not from guilt, but to prevent repeating patterns. She emphasizes that rejection isn't personal; it reflects the other person's limitations, not your worth. Advice for People with Disabilities For readers with disabilities facing rejection fears, Joni advises embracing self-love first and recognizing that rejection is about another person's capacity, not your value. She encourages people to define themselves on their own terms and love all parts of themselves. Parting Message Relationships and dating should be fun and life-giving. If you're miserable and not enjoying your relationship, it's worth reconsidering. Connection should bring joy, not drain your energy. Joni's website and book information Connect with Joni on Instagram

Dating with a disability feels impossible until you take action. The impossible becomes possible through perspective shift and meaningful action. Understanding Worthy Failures A worthy failure is an intentional attempt where you take a calculated risk and learn from the outcome. Rejection, awkward conversations, and unsuccessful dates aren't signs you're not good enough—they're data. From a growth mindset, every experience builds confidence and self-understanding. The Psychology of Failure and Disability Rejection stings harder with a disability because we wonder if it's disability-specific. But rejection doesn't mean you're unlovable. It might mean incompatibility, timing, or needing a different approach. The key shift: see failure as a catalyst for growth, not something to avoid. Taking Intentional Action Intentional action means consciously deciding to risk and learn. Update your dating profile authentically, reach out to people, attend social events, have vulnerable conversations. Each action builds evidence that contradicts limiting beliefs about your worth. The 25 Epic Fails Strategy Set a goal for 25 worthy dating attempts per quarter. This removes pressure and shifts focus from outcome to process. Research shows this yields better results because people are more relaxed and authentic. Strategic Byproducts of Dating Action Beyond finding a relationship, intentional dating builds confidence, self-awareness, and sexual power. For people with disabilities, reclaiming desirability directly counters cultural desexualization. Every time you show up authentically, you reclaim your power. Building Your Personal Action Plan Get clear on what you actually want, not what you think you should want. Embrace discomfort in reaching out. Invest energy strategically in dating apps and communities that matter. Plan how you'll handle rejection ahead of time—don't react from hurt; follow through on growth. Your Impossible Goal Starts Now Your impossible goal—finding a partner, going on dates without catastrophizing, being honest about your disability, building a healthy relationship—sits on a pile of worthy failures. You have more power than you've been told. Take those first 25 steps.

If you're listening around the time this publishes, it's the holiday season—and if you're single, loneliness may be hitting hard. You're not alone. I recently asked single people with disabilities about their holiday feelings. Their responses: wondering why they're still single, missing loved ones, wanting someone to cuddle by the fire with. I remember feeling that same loneliness for years, watching family and friends build their own families. These feelings are human and understandable. This episode explores how to cope with them—and how to use them to your advantage. Acknowledge How You Feel When loneliness and longing strike, simply acknowledging them can help enormously. You might resist: "Why admit sadness about being alone?" But facing your feelings creates emotional release. You stop pretending they don't exist, stop pushing them down. Remember: an emotion is part of you, not all of you. Don't fear being overwhelmed—most emotions, when fully felt, last only about 90 seconds. And don't judge yourself for having them. Be gentle with yourself. Self-judgment on top of hard emotions only makes things worse. Use How You Feel for Fuel Looking back at my single years, I did something crucial: I used my loneliness to motivate myself to keep taking risks, keep dating, keep trying to meet someone. I wanted that vision—waking up with my own family, cuddling by the fire. (Reality check: my husband and I barely use our fireplace because it's so much work.) How can you take your struggle this season and channel it toward your own vision? Let that longing propel you forward.

Anil Gupta, known as the Love Doctor, has spoken in 18 countries across 4 continents, sharing practical relationship tools. He emphasizes that awareness is the foundation of everything in relationships and personal growth. Core Qualities for Healthy Relationships When choosing a partner, Anil identifies three essential qualities to look for: integrity (being truthful and reliable), being genuinely loving toward others, and being healthy emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally, and financially. These qualities matter regardless of whether someone has a disability. Honesty and Transparency For people with disabilities, being upfront about their situation is crucial. Hiding aspects of yourself creates problems, but when you're honest, potential partners can make informed choices. The issue isn't the disability itself—it's the lack of awareness and communication. The Light Metaphor Instead of trying to remove negativity, focus on being the light. Write down 50 things you're grateful for, list your accomplishments, and recognize your positive qualities. What you focus on expands—focus on what you have left, not what you've lost. The Happiness Formula: G × G × G Anil shares his formula: Happiness equals Give times Gratitude times Grow. When feeling low, identify which G has dropped and work on raising it. He demonstrated this after breaking his wrist, going from a happiness score of 729 to 1, then rebuilding to 125 by practicing gratitude, thanking helpers, and choosing growth over self-criticism. Finding Compatible Partners Go where your ideal partner would naturally be—meetups, associations, charity events, churches, or groups where like-minded people gather who would understand and appreciate you. Powerful Mindset Shift "Be so amazing that you cannot be ignored." Show up as your best self, bringing joy, playfulness, and authenticity. Either you bring energy to a room or take it away—choose to be the person who lights up the space. Connect with Anil

Download My Relationship Vision to help you identify your green flags. Importance of Green Flags While we often focus on red flags in dating, green flags are equally vital—the positive indicators of respect, compatibility, and emotional maturity that signal someone might be a genuinely good match. These are the qualities that make you feel seen, valued, and excited about building something meaningful. Consistent and Respectful Communication A fundamental green flag is someone who listens, asks thoughtful questions, and remembers details about your life. They communicate clearly about intentions and feelings without playing games. For those with disabilities, this means asking appropriate questions and treating you as the expert on your own experience. Emotional Availability and Maturity Look for someone who can discuss feelings, take responsibility, and apologize genuinely. They handle conflict constructively and respond to your needs with empathy rather than defensiveness or unsolicited fixes. Respect for Boundaries and Autonomy A good partner respects your "no," celebrates your "yes," and never pressures you to move faster than comfortable. They understand ongoing consent and respect boundaries around mobility aids, personal care, and autonomy. Genuine Interest in Your Whole Life Watch for genuine curiosity about your work, passions, goals, and interests. They encourage your independence and see you as a complete, complex person with a rich life—not just someone who revolves around them. Consistency Between Words and Actions Actions should match stated values. Do they show up as promised? Do their behaviors align with what they claim to believe? Consistency over time reveals character and builds trust. Determining Your Personal Green Flags Reflect on past relationships when you felt most valued. What qualities did those people possess? Align green flags with your values and non-negotiables. Trusting Your Intuition and Overall Feeling Beyond checklists, pay attention to how you feel. Do you feel safe, energized, and able to be yourself? Your green flags should help you recognize connections with real potential for lasting happiness.

Kalindi Jordan is a sex and intimacy coach with 16 years of experience, specializing in helping people develop primary relationships with themselves before entering partnerships. Her work covers sexual intimacy, relationship dynamics, communication, and dating challenges. Personal Journey with Alopecia Five years ago, Kalindi lost all her hair—including eyebrows and eyelashes—within 10 days due to alopecia. Initially, she feared her partner wouldn't find her attractive, worried clients wouldn't work with her, and questioned if friends would be embarrassed to be seen with her. This challenged her entire professional foundation built on body confidence work. Mirror Work and Self-Reconciliation After three weeks of negative self-talk, Kalindi sat before a mirror daily for at least 30 minutes. She allowed every part of herself to have a voice, letting all feelings emerge. This process became a journey of reconciliation between sadness, pain, and loss—maintaining a relationship with grief rather than resisting it. Redefining Beauty Kalindi discovered that beauty isn't what we see but what we feel. When disconnected from her body through negative thoughts, she stopped feeling beautiful. The key insight: beauty arises from deeply feeling sensations in our bodies, not from visual appearance. Her partner's attraction evolved to emphasize personality, energy, and character over physical appearance alone. Practical Guidance For those struggling with body image or disability, Kalindi recommends: Defying cultural narratives about beauty standards Staying curious and fascinated about your body Developing a relationship with grief (we only grieve what we love) Focusing on sensory experiences rather than visual judgments Remembering that nature wanted you—life said yes to your existence Dating and Worthiness For dating, focus on the feeling and flavor of connection you seek, not on finding the "right" person. Attraction works mutually—focus on what you want to experience in relationship rather than what another person should be like. Connect with Kalindi.

About Barb - Boundaries Coach Barb is a boundaries coach, speaker, podcaster, and author who hit a "codependent bottom" at age 52 in 2015. After decades of self-help and therapy, she entered 12-step recovery and discovered that learning to build healthy boundaries was the antidote to her codependency. She's now in her first healthy romantic relationship (7 years), which she attributes to both partners having healthy boundaries. What is Codependency? A codependent person is typically fixated on other people and situations—constantly asking "what does everybody else need?"—while ignoring their own needs. Barb didn't know who she was, where she ended and others began, or what her own preferences were. She acted like a chameleon, which proved unsustainable and prevented authentic connections. Building Boundaries: Where to Start The core shift is caring more about what you think of yourself than what others think of you. Barb emphasizes living with integrity—being honest even when it's uncomfortable. For people with disabilities facing devaluation, she stresses: people who judge you aren't your people. Start by setting boundaries with yourself first (like not reading triggering messages), then practice with easygoing people before tackling difficult relationships. Difficult Feelings Common feelings when setting boundaries include guilt, shame, and fear of abandonment. People feel guilty for putting themselves first, believing it's selfish. The reality: some people will abandon you when you set boundaries, but most won't. Being judged for your authentic self is easier to live with than being judged for a fake version. Online Dating Advice Create red light/yellow light/green light lists of behaviors you'll tolerate. Don't wait too long to meet someone in person—you'll build unrealistic expectations. Most importantly: address issues immediately when they arise. Deal with problems when they're "buds, not full-blown trees" to assess how someone handles conflict. Connect with Barb For a free 30 minute Unshakable You call to learn about my private coaching and to see if we're a good fit.  Podcast: Fragmented to Whole Life Lessons from 12-Step Recovery

You know how sometimes life can begin nudging you in a certain direction. At first you say, “Ut uh, I am NOT going there. I’m not doing that.”  But life persists. There are signs, indicators that maybe life is pointing you in the right direction. This is what has happened to me over the last few months. I have decided to close Radiant Abilities at the end of the year. This means the Dating Made Easier program will be ending, as well as my training platform for professionals, Supporting Dating and Relationships. What brought about this decision? Quite simply, my vision for Radiant Abilities and its programs haven’t grown the way I thought they would. I truly thought people would be more interested in support for successful dating and developing healthy relationships than they were. The research we did before developing the programs seemed to indicate that people with disabilities were looking for coaching, guidance and community support for their dating journey.  It just didn’t pan out that way. For my own sake and to maximize my strengths, I need to move on. What won’t change, though, is I’ll still be in the space of dating and relationships for people with disabilities. And I’m pleased to share that this podcast will continue. New Endeavors I’m beginning a new company. Details, along with its name, are still marinating. Here’s what I can share about the new company.  It will be more focused on providing in person and virtual training to disability service organizations on teaching the skills for dating and relationships. I’ll be presenting at more conferences in an effort to further the national conversation about decreasing isolation for people with disabilities by supporting relationship development. A new curriculum will be coming out for professionals in guiding people through the five stages of dating success. I’ll be developing Continuing Education Units, particularly for other mental health professionals. I’m even toying with writing a new book for which I already have the title. And I’ll be doing individual coaching for dating, which will include four low cost slots a month for those who qualify. While it’s bittersweet to say goodbye to the company I have built over the last 15 years, I’m reminded of my favorite Oprah quote: “When I look into the future, it's so bright it burns my eyes." Thank you for listening, for journeying with me as we debunk the mistaken beliefs that keep sexual ableism alive and demand that we be seen as the worthy partners we are. You have blessed my life. I’ll be providing updates on the new company and the new projects I undertake. Click here to join the email list for updates. Join me in grabbing the shades for that bright future. 😎

Conscious Love and Personal Transformation with Christian de la Huerta Christian de la Huerta, a personal transformation expert with over 30 years of experience, joins Kathy O'Connell to discuss relationships, self-worth, and emotional healing—particularly for people with disabilities navigating the dating world. The Foundation: Self-Worth Christian emphasizes that looking for love begins with removing internal obstacles, especially our sense of self-worth. Drawing from A Course in Miracles, he explains that we can't expect others to respect us if we don't respect ourselves. Having overcome depression and self-hatred in his own life, Christian knows healing is possible for anyone. The Two-Pronged Healing Approach Christian's method combines understanding the source of negative beliefs with breathwork—extended breathing practices lasting 60-90 minutes. He considers breathwork the most effective tool for healing trauma, so powerful that it led him to abandon his PhD pursuit in psychology. Emotions and the Body When we suppress emotions—swallowing our breath when scared or angry—these energies become stuck in our bodies, leading to depression, rage, or physical illness. Christian advocates developing emotional intelligence and expressing feelings authentically rather than stuffing them down. Breaking Relationship Patterns Through a personal story about people not showing up in his life, Christian illustrates a key principle: if something triggers us "out there," it reflects something "in here." He realized he wasn't showing up for his writing commitments. Within an hour of this insight, both situations resolved. Overcoming Fear of Rejection Our worth is inherent and unshakable—nobody can give it or take it away. Christian challenges listeners: if all 8 billion humans deserve happiness and meaning, why would we be the exception? He encourages doing the inner work through coaching, therapy, or breathwork before approaching relationships. His books "Conscious Love" and "Awakening the Soul of Power" explore these themes further. Find more at SoulfulPower.com.

About Tiffany Yu Tiffany Yu is the author of "The Anti-Ableist Manifesto" and founder of Diversability, a community of over 80,000 people focused on disability leadership. She became disabled at age 9 in a car accident that took her father's life and left her with paralysis in one arm. She's also a paraclimber competing internationally for Team USA. Disability Pride and Dating Disability pride is how disabled people combat ableism—showing up as the fullest embodiment of who they are. In dating, this means feeling secure in one's disabled body rather than hiding it. Tiffany shared her evolution from waiting until the third or fourth date to disclose her disability to now prominently featuring it in dating profiles and conversations. Personal Journey For 12 years after becoming disabled, Tiffany didn't tell anyone about her accident. Her "second disability origin story" began in college in 2009 when she started her disability pride journey. From 2009-2019, she worked on owning her story, but it wasn't until recently that she became comfortable with the physical manifestation of her disability, learning to stop hiding her arm in photos. Anti-Ableism in Relationships Anti-ableism in dating means actively not devaluing someone based on how their body or mind works. It includes understanding access needs, recognizing microaggressions (like constantly being asked "what happened?"), and practicing "access intimacy"—anticipating a partner's needs without them having to ask. Advice for Dating Tiffany emphasizes building community support, working with therapists, and checking in with yourself before dating. She uses a 1-10 scale—only dating when she's at least a 7 or 8 out of 10 excited, avoiding bringing exhaustion or jadedness into new connections. What Needs to Change Dating apps have fundamental flaws, relying on photos and prompts rather than genuine interaction. Society needs to close the perception gap around disability—recognizing that disabled people always been here, are valuable partners, and deserve to be seen. Tiffany's Website The Anti-Ableist Manifesto Kathy's Diversability Talk on Sexual Ableism and Dating

Understanding Neurospicy Relationships Dr. Kristen Williamson, a licensed professional counselor with a doctorate in behavioral health management, shares her journey of being diagnosed with autism and ADHD at 39. She prefers the term "neurospicy" over neurodivergent, believing it captures "the spice of life" that comes with different brain wiring. Communication Challenges and Solutions Dr. Williamson explains how her autism can make her sound robotic when she's not actively thinking about vocal inflection, which her ADHD husband initially misinterpreted as anger or criticism. Her advice: learn about your brain and advocate for yourself upfront. Tell potential partners, "I like to ask questions. I might ask you 17 questions in a row—I'm not interrogating you, I'm just really interested." Overcoming Rejection Sensitivity Neurospicy individuals often experience rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), described as "a thousand micro cuts across your psyche." Dr. Williamson acknowledges this pain while emphasizing that there are people who will accept you authentically. Masking who you are only delays potential rejection and makes it hurt more after emotional investment. Finding Your Community Rebuilding confidence requires "a hundred tiny steps," starting with finding places where you fit. Dr. Williamson recommends online communities, Discord channels, Reddit threads, meetup groups, and conventions where you can connect with others who share your interests and experiences. Creating Authentic Dating Profiles Rather than disclosing diagnoses, share characteristics: "I prefer direct communication," "I don't always get subtext," "I prefer texting over phone calls," or "I prefer small groups over big concerts." If someone can't meet you where you are during the "best behavior" phase, they likely won't later. The Core Message "It is not your job to make yourself smaller in order to make anybody else fit in. You can shine just as bright as everybody else." Connect with Kristen on Instagram

Take our Dating Confidence quiz here. Understanding Stage 5: The Mastery Phase If you scored mostly D's on our dating confidence assessment, you've mastered the fundamentals of confident dating with a disability. Stage 5 is about maintaining and evolving your dating confidence while helping others on their journey. This stage represents a shift from building confidence to sustaining it - making dating confidence a lifelong skill rather than a one-time achievement. It's about refinement, maintenance, mentorship, and preparing for deeper relationship skills. The Six Mastery Pillars Pillar 1: Strategic Evaluation Develop quarterly reviews of your dating strategies. Assess what's working monthly, review goals quarterly, and conduct annual deep dives into personal growth. Pillar 2: Social Circle Expansion Continuously expand your network through new disability advocacy groups, conferences, different social activities, and varied dating approaches. Try one new way to meet people each month. Pillar 3: Mentorship and Leadership Support others with disabilities starting their dating journeys. Volunteer to speak at events, mentor individuals, share your story online, or facilitate support groups. Pillar 4: Support System Maintenance Maintain regular check-ins with accountability partners and disability community friends. Develop reciprocal support relationships where you both give and receive guidance. Pillar 5: Gratitude Practice Keep weekly gratitude journals focused on dating skills gained and personal growth milestones - not just romantic outcomes. This prevents taking hard-won confidence for granted. Pillar 6: Long-Term Relationship Skills Develop advanced communication techniques, conflict resolution skills, and strategies for balancing independence and interdependence in partnerships. Your Stage 5 Indicators You're succeeding when you demonstrate consistent confidence regardless of relationship status, regularly contribute to others' success, maintain sustainable practices, and integrate dating confidence into overall life leadership. The Legacy Mindset Stage 5 shifts your focus from "How do I succeed at dating?" to "How do I maintain this success while helping others achieve it too?" Your personal mastery transforms into community leadership and systemic change. Remember, mastery isn't a destination - it's a commitment to lifelong learning, authentic growth, and generous sharing with others.

Upcoming Events 📅 ENROLLMENT CLOSING OCT 25 Dating Made Easier  will be stopping open enrollment on October 25th! After that, we'll only open enrollment at specific times during the year. 🔥 DATING CHALLENGE: OCT 14-17 Get crystal clear on your dating profile and create a winning plan! 🎯 FREE WORKSHOP: OCT 21 "What to Do When Nothing Works in Dating" - This one's going to be GOOD! 🎁 SWEET OFFER COMING MID-OCTOBER for email subscribers only! Get on the list here. Trust me, you won't want to miss this amazing surprise! And don't forget to take our Dating Success quiz to see what stage you're in. Understanding Stage 4: Active Implementation Stage 4 transitions from preparation to practice—actively dating with intention, authenticity, and resilience. This phase combines foundation work, confidence, and strategic planning into real-world dating experiences. The Six Implementation Pillars Pillar 1: Strategic Platform Engagement Dedicate 30 minutes daily to thoughtful dating app interactions. Focus on quality over quantity, using prepared conversation starters and consistent disclosure strategies about accessibility needs. Pillar 2: Active Social Participation Join clubs, attend disability community events, volunteer, and participate in online-to-offline meetups. Build a rich social life that naturally creates connection opportunities rather than desperately seeking dates. Pillar 3: Leveraging Networks Have explicit conversations with three trusted friends or family about your dating goals. Request specific introductions, party invitations, and create a "dating support team" who understand your preferences. Pillar 4: Experience Documentation Maintain a dating insights journal. After each interaction, spend 10 minutes reflecting on what worked, what you learned, and potential adjustments. Track patterns and personal growth over time. Pillar 5: Celebrating Progress Recognize every step forward—sending vulnerable messages, authentic accessibility conversations, improved confidence—not just successful dates. Practice self-compassion during disappointments. Pillar 6: Maintaining Authenticity Stay true to your values and needs despite pressure. Continue disability disclosure without apologizing, advocate for accessibility, and practice saying no to incompatible situations. Measuring Success Stage 4 success means consistent engagement, authentic self-representation, graceful accessibility navigation, resilient responses to outcomes, maintained boundaries, continuous learning, and a fulfilling social life independent of romantic status. Core Message You're becoming someone who can build healthy relationships through practice in authenticity, communication, and resilience. Each experience is valuable regardless of romantic outcome. You don't need perfection—just authentic, consistent action.

Upcoming Events 📅 ENROLLMENT CLOSING OCT 25 Dating Made Easier  will be stopping open enrollment on October 25th! After that, we'll only open enrollment at specific times during the year. 🔥 DATING CHALLENGE: OCT 14-17 Get crystal clear on your dating profile and create a winning plan! 🎯 FREE WORKSHOP: OCT 21 "What to Do When Nothing Works in Dating" - This one's going to be GOOD! 🎁 SWEET OFFER COMING MID-OCTOBER for email subscribers only! Get on the list here. Trust me, you won't want to miss this amazing surprise! And don't forget to take our Dating Success quiz to see what stage you're in. How to Write a Kick Butt Dating Profile guide Stage 3: Strategic Planning and Taking Action Stage 3  of the Dating Success Path is for those who've completed the foundational work of self-awareness and confidence building. This phase transforms internal confidence into a strategic, actionable dating plan that honors accessibility needs and authentic self-presentation. The Six Strategic Pillars Pillar 1: Platform Research and Accessibility Evaluation Conduct an "Accessibility Audit" of dating platforms examining technical features (screen reader compatibility, voice commands, text adjustment) and community culture (how disability is discussed, presence of inclusive language, anti-discrimination policies). Test platforms yourself rather than relying on stated features. Pillar 2: Developing Your Disclosure Strategy Create an "Authentic Disclosure Framework" with three tiers: visual representation in profiles, direct discussion of accessibility needs pre-meeting, and deeper conversations about disability experience during early dating. Develop practiced language for each stage. Pillar 3: Comprehensive Safety Protocols Establish both standard and disability-specific safety measures including disability-aware safety contacts, backup communication methods, independently researched venue accessibility, and emergency protocols that account for accessibility needs. Pillar 4: Realistic Budget Planning Account for standard dating costs plus accessibility-specific expenses like specialized transportation, backup plans, venue research time, and the "accessibility tax" of premium-priced accessible options. Pillar 5: Accessible Venue Research Build a personal database of verified accessible venues by calling restaurants directly, visiting locations during off-peak times, and connecting with local disability communities for recommendations. Develop backup venue options. Pillar 6: Creating Authentic Dating Profiles Craft profiles that naturally represent your full personality including disability without making it the central focus. Use photos in natural settings and conversation starters that reveal values about inclusion. The Stage 3 Mindset Shift This stage represents moving from "I hope this works" to "I've created systems for success." Strategic planning removes barriers that interfere with authentic connection, allowing you to focus on getting to know potential partners rather than constantly problem-solving logistics. Stage 3 Milestones Before advancing to active dating, complete: platform selection based on accessibility, clear disclosure strategy, comprehensive safety protocols, realistic budget, database of 10+ accessible venues with reliable transportation, and authentic representative profiles.

📅 ENROLLMENT CLOSING OCT 25 Dating Made Easier  will be stopping open enrollment on October 25th! After that, we'll only open enrollment at specific times during the year. 🔥 DATING CHALLENGE: OCT 14-17 Get crystal clear on your dating profile and create a winning plan! 🎯 FREE WORKSHOP: OCT 21 "What to Do When Nothing Works in Dating" - This one's going to be GOOD! 🎁 SWEET OFFER COMING MID-OCTOBER for email subscribers only! Get on the list here. Trust me, you won't want to miss this amazing surprise! And don't forget to take our Dating Success quiz to see what stage you're in. Stage 2: Confidence Building and Resilience Training Stage 2 is designed for those who've completed foundational self-worth work but struggle to translate internal confidence into external action. This stage builds the resilience and social skills needed to navigate dating situations and handle challenges with grace. The Six Pillars of Stage 2 Mastery Pillar 1: Assertiveness Training and Boundary Setting Practice self-advocacy in low-stakes situations using the DESC method: Describe objectively, Express feelings and needs, Specify desired outcomes, and state positive Consequences. Start with non-dating scenarios like requesting accommodations at restaurants. Pillar 2: Rejection Resilience Through Role-Playing Systematically practice difficult scenarios with a trusted friend—insensitive questions, accessibility challenges, or potential rejections. Build go-to responses and recovery strategies. Pillar 3: Low-Stakes Social Confidence Building Engage in social "strength training" through low-pressure activities like hobby groups, volunteering, or community meetups. Focus on practicing small talk, handling accessibility needs, and building comfort in public spaces. Pillar 4: Personal Rejection Reframe Strategy Develop a "Reality Check Method" to avoid catastrophizing. Consider multiple rejection reasons beyond disability: incompatible values, timing issues, communication styles, or simple lack of chemistry. Pillar 5: Mindfulness and Anxiety Management Learn practical techniques like 4-7-8 breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and positive self-talk scripts. The goal is managing anxiety, not eliminating it. Pillar 6: Building Your Confidence Support Network Cultivate relationships for different support types: accountability partners, disability community friends, mentors, and professional counselors. Stage 2 Milestones Before advancing, demonstrate: confident self-advocacy in multiple settings, successful navigation of challenging social situations, effective anxiety management, recovery from rejection without spiraling, comfort in unfamiliar social activities, and a strong support network. Key Takeaway Confidence isn't the absence of fear—it's the ability to act authentically despite discomfort. Stage 2 builds resilience muscles through deliberate practice in challenging situations.

📅 ENROLLMENT CLOSING OCT 25 Dating Made Easier  will be stopping open enrollment on October 25th! After that, we'll only open enrollment at specific times during the year. ✨ Why the change? So I can pour ALL my energy into getting our current members the dating success they deserve! But first... we've got some AMAZING things lined up for you! 👇 🔥 DATING CHALLENGE: OCT 14-17 Get crystal clear on your dating profile and create a winning plan! 🎯 FREE WORKSHOP: OCT 21 "What to Do When Nothing Works in Dating" - This one's going to be GOOD! 🎁 SWEET OFFER COMING MID-OCTOBER for email subscribers only! Get on the list here. Trust me, you won't want to miss this amazing surprise!   💌 Want to stay in the loop? Take our Dating Confidence Quiz [LINK IN BIO] to join our email list - that's where all the good stuff gets announced first!

Important Links Mentioned Take our Dating Success Quiz here. Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching, skills and resources to succeed in dating. Doors closing soon for new members. Join today. Sign up here to get notified about our upcoming free Dating Challenge and our free workshop on When Nothing Works in Dating on Oct 21. If you identify as being in Stage 1 of the Dating Success Journey, download this resource. Stage 1: Building Your Dating Foundation Stage 1 focuses on developing internal confidence before entering the dating world. It's about creating a healthy relationship with yourself first, not being "behind" or "unready." The Five Pillars of Success Pillar 1: Daily Self-Reflection Practice three daily questions: What do I value? What are my authentic interests? What do I want in a partnership? Commit to 5 minutes of morning journaling for two weeks. Pillar 2: Rewriting Internal Narratives Replace generic affirmations with targeted truth-telling. Instead of "I am lovable," try "My worth isn't determined by my symptom days" or "My disability experience taught me valuable relationship skills." Pillar 3: Disability-Positive Community Create a "Possibility Feed" by following accounts of people with disabilities thriving in relationships. This provides evidence that shifts thinking from "Who would want me?" to "What kind of person would match me?" Pillar 4: Professional Support Consider therapy if dealing with deep shame, trauma, limiting family messages, or difficulty distinguishing between realistic needs and unnecessary self-limitation. Pillar 5: Comprehensive Strengths Inventory Create a "Whole Person Asset List" including professional skills, personal qualities, and strengths gained from disability experience. The Fundamental Shift Stage 1 work transforms the core question from "Will someone accept me despite my disability?" to "Are we compatible?" This moves you from defensive validation-seeking to confident compatibility assessment. Ready for Stage 2? Complete Stage 1 when you can discuss your disability without shame, have clear relationship values, know your strengths, and feel excited about dating from curiosity rather than desperation. Timeline varies - sometimes months, others may need longer. The goal is building an unshakeable foundation for authentic, confident dating.

Russell's Background Russell Van Brocklen discovered his dyslexia in third grade and later audited law school classes despite having first-grade reading/writing levels. After successfully improving his skills, he developed programs to help dyslexic students, including one funded by New York State Senate that helped high schoolers jump 6-8 grade levels in writing within a year. Dating Strategy Framework Russell teaches a research-based approach adapted from "The Craft of Research" to overcome dating fears. The method involves: 1) Establishing context (e.g., "dyslexic person in mid-twenties afraid of rejection") 2) Simplifying to core problem 3) Identifying universal themes (like "fear" or "rejection") 4) Flipping negatives to positives and leveraging dyslexic strengths like intelligence and communication skills. Technology Tools For reading dating profiles: Speechify app, which offers premium voices that sound more natural than the free robotic version. For writing messages: ChatGPT Pro with specific prompts for warm, empathetic, and positive tone - Russell recommends using the advanced voice feature to dictate and refine messages through conversation. Alternative: seek advice from trusted friends in successful relationships, preferably meeting at public venues. Disclosure Timing Wait until after the third date to mention dyslexia. Most people won't notice initially. Let natural conversation reveal it rather than making formal announcements. Russell suggests gradually stopping use of assistive technologies so partners naturally pick up on differences. Long-Term Relationship Advice Partners should understand dyslexics think rapidly and scatter-brained, like "absent-minded professors." Key advice: let dyslexic partners express ideas freely without immediate organization, then help structure thoughts afterward. Dyslexics should identify their weaknesses and see if partners can shoulder those responsibilities while dyslexics handle their strengths. Contact dyslexiaclasses.com Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching, skills and resources to succeed in dating. Doors closing soon for new members. Join today. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

The Friend Zone Challenge When you have a disability, society often categorizes you as the "inspiring" or "sweet" friend rather than a romantic prospect. The key is determining whether lack of romantic interest stems from genuine incompatibility or societal conditioning. Reading the Signals Look for signs of romantic potential: one-on-one time that feels different, meaningful physical touch, sharing personal details, interest in your dating life, and remembering important details. However, these could also indicate strong friendship. Essential Mindset Shift Approach from confidence, not desperation. Don't think "I hope they'll give me a chance despite my disability." Instead, think "I'm offering something valuable - are they interested?" Your disability doesn't make you less worthy of love. Three Strategic Approaches Gradual: Introduce subtle romantic elements and gauge their response Direct: Have an honest conversation about your feelings Test Date: Suggest a clearly romantic activity and see how they react Addressing Disability Concerns If you suspect your disability influences their perception, show them your confident, romantic side. Let them see you as someone with desires and relationship potential, not just a friend. The Conversation Choose the right moment, be clear about intentions, acknowledge the friendship's value, give them processing time, and address potential concerns directly. Handling Outcomes Whether they're interested, need time, or aren't interested - respond with grace. Real friends won't disappear because you expressed honest feelings. Your confidence in handling any response often strengthens the relationship regardless of romantic outcome. Taking Action Stop waiting for them to see you differently. Show them your romantic side, have the conversation, and remember: you're offering partnership, not asking for charity. Link to previous episode of More Than A Friend. Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Doors closing soon for new members. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

Register here for the Loving Our Bodies Workshop. Growth and Expansion In just 2.5 years, Dateability has grown from 10,000 to 35,000 members. The platform is now launching an updated app to further support its mission of making dating accessible and inclusive for people with disabilities and chronic illnesses. Accessibility-Driven Features The app integrates specific accessibility features tailored for different disabilities, ensuring that users can engage in meaningful and equitable ways. This commitment to accessibility is central to its design and community approach. Building Community Beyond Dating Dateability goes beyond romantic connections by fostering a supportive space where individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses can find community, share experiences, and feel less isolated. Inspiring Success Stories Stories from users highlight how the platform has transformed lives—whether through finding love, friendship, or simply belonging. These stories continue to validate the mission in powerful and unexpected ways. Culture of Inclusivity Inclusivity shapes every aspect of Dateability’s culture. It drives how the platform is designed, how the community interacts, and how members feel welcomed regardless of ability or background. Overcoming Obstacles One of the biggest challenges has been breaking stereotypes and addressing societal misconceptions about dating with disabilities. Overcoming these obstacles has strengthened the team’s resolve and deepened their mission. Looking Ahead Future growth plans include expanding reach, adding new accessibility-driven features, and continuing to evolve the app so that more people can build authentic relationships in a safe, inclusive environment. Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

    Take The Dating Success Quiz here. Stage 1: Foundation and Self-Discovery Building your authentic foundation through deep self-awareness and self-acceptance. Key focus areas include understanding your inherent worth, identifying strengths and values, and developing a positive relationship with your disability or difference. Action items include practicing daily affirmations, engaging with disability-positive media, and joining supportive communities. Stage 2: Confidence Building and Resilience Developing unshakable self-confidence independent of external validation. This stage emphasizes handling rejection, receiving constructive feedback without personalizing it, and building resilience techniques. Recommended actions include practicing boundary-setting, role-playing difficult conversations, and developing effective dating profiles. Stage 3: Strategic Planning and Preparation Creating a personalized dating action plan that addresses accessibility, safety, and financial considerations. Key milestones include developing safety protocols for online and in-person dates, researching accessible dating apps, and deciding how and when to disclose your disability. Kathy recommends always having video chats before meeting in person and establishing clear safety plans. Stage 4: Taking Action Actively implementing your dating plan by engaging with potential partners through various channels. This "putting yourself out there" stage involves setting goals for initiating contact, joining dating apps, attending meetups, and expanding your social circle to meet new people. Stage 5: Refining and Sustainable Confidence Mastering your dating approach based on experiences from previous stages. This involves maintaining confidence regardless of outcomes, adjusting strategies based on learned experiences, and developing sustainable dating habits while working toward long-term relationship goals. Next StepsTake The Dating Success Quiz here to help identify which stage you're currently in and what would benefit you most in your dating journey. The framework is designed to be fluid, allowing movement between stages as needed. Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

Register here for the Loving Our Bodies Workshop. This workshop helps you develop a healthier relationship with your bodies in the context of dating. Participants learn practical techniques for overcoming internalized body shame, distinguishing between body acceptance and broader self-love, and understanding how genuine self-worth creates more authentic and successful dating experiences. Through interactive exercises and group discussions, attendees leave with concrete tools to build confidence and attract healthier relationships. Learning Objectives: Acceptance and gratitude for the body you have Dealing with internalized body shame How love for one's body is different than love for self Why self-love is really so effective in dating Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

Nicole Penrod is an associate marriage and family therapist in California's Bay Area. She has ADHD and is in a relationship with someone on the autism spectrum, bringing both professional and personal experience to neurodivergent dating and relationships. Deconstructing Harmful Messages Nicole introduces the "map of messages" exercise to identify sources of harmful narratives about normalcy. This involves mapping out all messages received about one's neurodivergence, examining their sources, and critically evaluating which beliefs to keep or discard. This helps separate inherited societal messages from personal truths. Building Counter-Narratives Using narrative therapy principles, Nicole suggests finding "unique outcomes" - moments when negative self-stories weren't true. By strengthening positive counter-narratives through evidence of resilience, capability, and support systems, the old harmful stories naturally diminish. Values-Based Dating Approach Instead of fear-based dating focused on potential rejection, Nicole advocates identifying core values (autonomy, generosity, kindness) and actively living them out in dating contexts. This shifts focus from "will they like me?" to "how can I show up authentically?" Vulnerability as Strength Vulnerability builds meaningful connections but requires practice and boundaries. Nicole suggests starting with small authentic shares and gradually increasing depth as relationships develop, always maintaining personal comfort levels. Attachment Patterns She identifies four attachment styles affecting dating: secure, anxious (reassurance-seeking), avoidant (withdrawal when close), and disorganized (conflicting behaviors). Understanding these patterns helps recognize relationship dynamics. Reframing Rejection Dating is described as "a losing game on purpose" where rejection provides valuable compatibility information. Each "no" brings you closer to the right "yes," making rejection part of the successful dating process. Dating as Self-Discovery Nicole's key advice: treat dating as an experiment in self-understanding and self-acceptance rather than choosing between self-work and finding love. Use dating experiences to practice being the person you want to be. Nicole Penrod's website Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

Download Using AI to Meet People, the resource guide for this podcast. The Problem with Dating Apps Many people with disabilities find traditional dating apps aren't working well for them. The apps don't effectively showcase the fullness of a person, and people often want to meet others locally rather than hundreds of miles away. AI Solution for Meeting People In Dating Made Easier we have begun using AI to help members find local venues, events, and activities where they can meet compatible people in person. The more detailed information you provide to AI, the better results you get. AI Platforms Recommended Claude  ChatGPT Google Gemini Privacy Warning Avoid sharing sensitive personal information like birth dates or exact addresses with AI platforms, as data may be retained even after deletion. Resource Categories Using AI to Meet People guide organized prompts by: Location-based meeting ideas Interests and hobbies connections Age and life stage considerations Values and relationship goal alignment Accessibility issues Disability community preferences Online to offline transitions Example Prompts "Suggest accessible social venues in [your city] where people with [disability type] can comfortably meet new people." "Suggest accessible cooking classes in [location] where I can connect with like-minded people." Important Notes Always fact-check AI-generated information Claude provides source links for verification The goal is expanding your world to meet new people Got a dating and relationship question? Submit it here and we'll offer an anonymous answer in a future episode. Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate  

"Using the Let Them Theory for Empowered Dating" Workshop (August 6) Registration Link Eric McHugh co-created the dating app DATA.ING. The app auto-generates profiles and matches based on users' digital footprints by linking social media accounts, photos, and other data sources to create personality tags. How It Works Unlike traditional dating apps that rely on superficial swiping, DATA.ING uses AI called "Cupid" to create matches based on comprehensive personality traits. The app analyzes multiple data sources including Instagram, Pinterest, Gmail, and calendar information to build detailed user profiles with relevant tags. Benefits for People with Disabilities The app offers enhanced safety through multi-source verification, making fake profiles harder to create. It focuses on personality traits rather than appearance, helping highlight positive qualities that might be overlooked. Users can match with others who have similar or different abilities, and the AI provides guidance on respectful interactions. Key Features AI relationship butler that continues supporting couples after matching Dynamic profile updates through conversations with Cupid Ability to hide sensitive information while maintaining authenticity Location-based matching with customizable radius Compatibility scoring based on shared interests and traits Current Status The app has approximately 1,500 users, primarily in Los Angeles, with plans to expand based on download patterns. Currently available only on iOS App Store, with Android version in development. The team is considering desktop version for accessibility needs. Unique Value Unlike competitors incentivized by user churn, DATA.ING benefits from successful long-term relationships by serving as an ongoing relationship assistant, creating better alignment between business goals and user satisfaction. Resources Dataing Connect with Eric McHugh Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

"Using the Let Them Theory for Empowered Dating" Workshop (August 6) Registration Link Dr. Victoria Mattingly, CEO of Mattingly Solutions, is an organizational psychologist and author who lives with bipolar disorder and alopecia. Her latest book "Work with an Ally, Act like an Ally" explores two-way partnerships in allyship. Allyship in Romantic Relationships Authentic allyship means taking action, not just identity. In relationships, this involves creating space, ensuring accessibility, and advocating for accommodations. Partners can leverage their privilege to support someone with a disability during challenging times. Empowerment Through Self-Advocacy People with disabilities should identify what makes them feel valued, respected, seen, and heard, then communicate these needs directly. This includes being clear in dating app bios about needs and expectations. Disclosure Strategy: Ownership Mattingly advocates for "owning" your disability rather than hiding it. She shares how she removes her wig during presentations, demonstrating confidence. When you're comfortable with your disability, it invites others to be comfortable too. Combating Internalized Ableism Viewing disability as a tool for navigating the world, not a limitation, helps reframe negative self-perception. Surrounding yourself with other successful people with disabilities helps challenge biased beliefs. Vulnerability as Strength Being vulnerable and authentic first creates space for others to do the same. This courage fosters deeper connections and mutual understanding in dating relationships. Creating Psychological Safety Drawing from workplace inclusion principles, successful dating requires creating environments where people feel safe sharing without fear of judgment or rejection. Connect with Victoria Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

"Using the Let Them Theory for Empowered Dating" Workshop Registration Link Registration Fee: $10 Stop exhausting yourself trying to manage everyone else's comfort level in dating. This transformative  workshop applies Mel Robbins' revolutionary "Let Them Theory" to dating with disability, teaching you how to preserve your emotional energy for people who actually deserve it. Instead of constantly educating, anticipating concerns, and managing reactions, you'll learn to let potential partners reveal their true character while you focus on building unshakeable confidence in your own worth. This isn't about lowering your standards—it's about raising them so high that only people genuinely ready for authentic partnership can meet them. What You'll Learn ✓ How to let people reveal their true character through their authentic response to your disability, gathering crucial compatibility information without exhausting yourself ✓ The mindset shift that preserves your emotional energy for people who demonstrate genuine acceptance and curiosity rather than judgment ✓ How to build worth that doesn't depend on others' recognition and let people miss out while you cultivate unshakeable self-confidence ✓ The strategy for letting others handle their own discomfort with difference, identifying who can grow versus who expects you to minimize yourself ✓ How to identify genuine capacity for growth and learning in potential partners without micromanaging their education process ✓ The approach to intimacy and relationships that lets partners come to their own conclusions about connection with you ✓ How to create space for people ready for real partnership by letting those who aren't equipped remove themselves naturally ✓ The framework for redirecting mental energy toward your own relationship goals while others reveal their authentic selves What You Get • Complete 30-minute workshop recording - Watch anytime, rewatch as needed • Downloadable presentation slides - Reference key concepts and takeaways  • Reflection worksheet - Identify your relationship values and boundaries 

New Feature Submit your question, dilemma, or challenge related to dating here and I'll answer it anonymously in a podcast. Let Them Reveal Their True Character Stop managing others' comfort with your disability. Let potential partners show who they are through authentic reactions. If someone is uncomfortable, dismissive, or makes thoughtless comments, let them reveal this incompatibility while you preserve energy for those who demonstrate genuine acceptance. Let Them Miss Out on Your Worth Rather than convincing others of your value, let people operate from their limited perspectives while you cultivate unshakeable self-worth. When someone can't see past disability to recognize your full humanity, let them reveal their narrow worldview while you focus on building genuine confidence. Let Them Handle Their Own Discomfort Instead of rushing to make others comfortable around disability, let them sit with their awkwardness. Allow people to voice concerns, ask questions, and learn to navigate difference rather than managing their emotional state. This reveals who can grow versus who expects you to minimize yourself. Let Them Show Growth Capacity Stop micromanaging others' learning about disability and accessibility. Let potential partners demonstrate initiative in understanding your needs, researching adaptive equipment, and creating inclusive environments. You'll quickly see who has genuine interest versus who expects you to do all emotional labor. Let Them Make Intimacy Decisions Don't overcompensate to prove your sexuality or relationship readiness. Let people express their actual thoughts about disabled people's intimate lives so you can address misconceptions directly or recognize incompatibility. Let Them Exit When Unready If someone isn't equipped for a relationship including disability considerations, let them remove themselves rather than minimizing your needs. This creates space for people genuinely ready for authentic partnership. Focus on Your Own Goals Redirect energy from controlling others' perceptions toward your own growth, communication skills, and relationship values. Resource for this podacst Thoughts on Becoming the Partner You Long to Be Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

  Today on the show, Violet Lange, a relationship coach, introduces The Goldilocks Method to dating. Violet overcame trauma and a difficult divorce to find lasting love. She has a deaf daughter with cochlear implants and combines practical strategies with spiritual approaches to dating. Healing Trauma & Attachment Issues Embodiment Practice: Place one hand on heart, one on belly, breathe, and say "I am safe, I am loved, I belong." This breaks mental loops and grounds you in your body. Overcome Fear of Abandonment: Be 100% committed to yourself. Test potential partners early with your truth, needs, and boundaries rather than hiding them. Say "I will never abandon myself." Core Dating Strategies Break Stuck Patterns: Stop people-pleasing and be authentic Express frustration when boundaries are crossed Be clear about what you want (Violet told her now-husband: "I want a committed partnership and to be a mom") Use Effective Boundaries: Say "That doesn't work for me" without lengthy explanations Address concerning behaviors directly Protect your energy from emotionally unavailable people The "Goldilocks Phase" Appreciate good qualities in people who aren't quite right. Think of relationships like pizza - you can have everything you want, but proportions may vary. Focus on whether core needs are met. Key Framework The Settling Paradox: The more you feel you need to settle, the lower quality matches you'll attract. Be clear and specific about what you want. Believe you're worthy of having it. Essential Principles: Be vulnerable and clear about desires Don't water down what you want Keep faith in love and yourself Remember: you're equally powerful as the dating process Contact Violet: [email protected] Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

Register here for Upcoming Dating Workshop, Authentic Dating Success Path: 5 Stages to Confidence and Connection on July 9, 6:30pm EDT via zoom. Disability Pride Month July marks Disability Pride Month, commemorating the signing of the Americans with Disabilities Act in 1990. The month celebrates achievements of people with disabilities, raises awareness about disability rights, promotes inclusion and accessibility, and honors the community's history and struggles. A key insight is that how you view your disability typically influences how others perceive it. Bringing Disability Pride to Dating Four key principles for incorporating disability pride into dating: Fight for accessibility and inclusion - Advocate for dating app accessibility and inclusion in the dating scene Challenge societal misconceptions - Combat stereotypes about people with disabilities being undateable or undesirable Demand representation - Push for people with disabilities to be featured in dating app advertisements and marketing Celebrate disability culture - Share disability history and culture with potential partners Coming Out Disabled The most important principle is to "come out disabled" - showing up as your complete, authentic self. This process is compared to the LGBTQ+ coming out experience, emphasizing the importance of embracing who you are, accepting that some people will reject differences, but ultimately attracting the right people who accept you fully. Meeting dates in person early is recommended to show the "full effect" of who you are, disability and all. Key Teaching The primary message: how you view your disability usually determines how others will view it. Transform the concept of disability from a barrier into a natural part of who you are and what you offer to relationships. Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

Register here for Upcoming Dating Workshop, Authentic Dating Success Path: 5 Stages to Confidence and Connection on July 9, 6:30pm EDT via zoom. Dorsey Ross from Westchester, PA has Apert syndrome, a birth defect affecting his hands and face. He's undergone 68 operations throughout his lifetime and hosts "The Dorsey Ross Show" podcast. His motto: "can't" is not in his vocabulary. Dating Challenges Dorsey has never had a serious dating relationship beyond high school. He believes people are resistant to dating someone with a disability due to concerns about social judgment and health implications. He's tried online dating and meeting people through friends but struggled with fear of rejection. What He Values in Relationships He wants someone who will love him for who he is and appreciate the value he brings—his smile, personality, and activities. He seeks authentic connections where partners support each other through good times and bad, showing genuine engagement and care. Overcoming Fear and Building Confidence Dorsey admits being afraid to pursue relationships due to fear of rejection and losing friendships. Kathy coaches him to take chances even without knowing someone's feelings, suggesting he assume positive rather than negative outcomes. Dealing with Public Reactions Partners would need to understand that people might stare or make inappropriate comments when they're together. Dorsey advises focusing on supportive people rather than negative reactions and being confident despite judgment. Advice for Others For people with visible differences: be confident in your personality and what you offer. Don't worry about others' judgments. He encourages introducing yourself to new people and reminds listeners with disabilities that they're not alone in seeking relationships. Connect with Dorsey on Instagram Follow Dorsey on Facebook   Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

Dating confidence comes down to what you believe about yourself and your potential as a partner. Beliefs about yourself help you feel more positive and successful, because whatever you think about yourself gives off energy for how others think of you. The transformation involves moving from "Hopeless, frustrated, devalued" to "a knowing of your worth and what you have to offer." The Foundation: Moving from Conditional to Unconditional Self-Worth Research distinguishes between "contingent self-esteem" and "genuine self-esteem." Contingent self-esteem relies on external validation—likes, approval from others—while genuine self-esteem is unwavering and consistent. You do not need to search outside yourself to feel worthy. You have value and are enough just because you are. Practical Steps for Developing Self-Worth 1. Self-Awareness and Recognition - Foster deeper understanding through comprehensive self-awareness and genuine acceptance of your authentic identity. 2. Transforming Your Internal Narrative - Be mindful of the value you bring. Reinforce yourself for accomplishments without waiting for external praise. 3. Challenging Negative Core Beliefs - Your brain is always listening. Look for evidence that counters negative beliefs rather than only seeking confirmation of them. Key Tips for Developing Your Self Worth in Dating Self-worth is inherent, not earned - You deserve love and respect simply because you exist Mindset is everything - What you believe about yourself impacts how others perceive you Move from external validation to internal knowing - Stop seeking approval and start recognizing your value Practice self-awareness and positive reinforcement - Actively acknowledge your contributions Challenge negative thought patterns - Look for evidence contradicting limiting beliefs Embrace your whole self - Including perceived flaws as part of your unique value Download the 5 Beliefs for Successful Dating Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate