283: Relationships, Boundaries, And The Stories We Make Up

It was pointed out to me a few weeks ago that I might be the kind of person who makes up BIG stories in my head that are often UNTRUE.  This happens when I think someone might be mad at me or when I think I’ve been wronged or when anything feels unjust in my world.  I’m quick to make assumptions, jump to conclusions, and sometimes downright freak the heck out. And it’s often all for nothing. The story I created in my head was just that – a story – with no basis in reality. Can anyone else relate? So, the reason this happens is a thinking process called the Ladder of Inference. This is where we take in an experience or some sort of data and then filter it, determine it it’s a threat or a benefit to us, make assumptions, jump to conclusions, form beliefs and take action based on these beliefs.  I’m really good at climbing that damn Ladder of Inference super fast, which can totally mess up my head and sometimes my interactions with others. I know I’m not alone here. Listen in to hear how you might be climbing this ladder with me and how it’s potentially damaging your relationships and maybe even your upcoming holidays.  Thank you to our sponsors: Lola: Get 100% organic tampons delivered right to your door for 40% off. Go to Lola and use the code SHAMELESS40 at checkout. Rothy’s: To get free shipping on any order of Rothy’s shoes, as well as free returns, go to Rothy’s and use the code SHAMELESS at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices