#284 | The Body Remembers: Somatic Clues That Your Parts Have Activated

Your partner hasn't finished the sentence yet, and your stomach has already dropped. Your jaw is clenched. There's a tightness across your chest that wasn't there ten seconds ago. That isn't stress. That's a part of you speaking through your body before your thinking mind gets involved.In this solo episode, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Todd Creager explains why parts show up as physical sensation first, and why they move faster than you do. A protector can tighten your shoulders and cross your arms before you've consciously registered what your partner said. A firefighter can flood you with the urge to leave the room or reach for your phone before you've decided anything. An exile, the wounded part that got triggered, can drop a heaviness into your chest that makes you feel small and younger than you are, in a way that doesn't match the moment in front of you.Todd describes what he sees in his office almost daily: two people reacting to each other's reactions. His protective parts guarding his wounded parts, hers guarding hers, the whole thing escalating in seconds. The body told the truth first. The body showed which part came online before either person opened their mouth.He offers one practice you can use before your next hard conversation. Pause for thirty seconds. Notice where you feel something, whether that's tightness, heat, heaviness, or numbness. You don't have to understand it. Name it. "Something clenched in my chest." That small gap between a part activating and you seeing it is the difference between the part running the conversation and you being present for it.Todd then walks through a session from the week before. A woman was anxious about an upcoming trip out of the country with her partner and his family, after a panic attack on a plane the year before during unresolved conflict. Tracing the sensations led to a much younger part of her, one shaped by people she counted on who abandoned her. Her boyfriend was able to see it as a young part rather than a statement about their relationship. She was able to give that part some care and recognize that nothing is wrong with her.If this one landed, try the thirty-second pause this week and notice what your body says first. Follow the show for more conversations on love, sex, and staying connected in long-term relationships. If this episode resonates with you, please share it with someone who could benefit and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more couples who are ready to transform their lives.Check out my complete program "From Bickering & Escalating to Connecting & Loving" for more in-depth guidance: https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/loving-connecting-masterclassTodd Creager, LCSW, LMFTTodd is a sex expert and therapist in Huntington Beach.  He provides relationship coaching to couples throughout the world and in Orange County including Irvine, Newport Beach, Corona del Mar, Laguna Beach, Seal Beach and Long Beach.  (714) 848-2288.You can find more tips and resources from Todd Creager at:  https://toddcreager.com  HELPFUL LINKS:Get your FREE copy of Healing Infidelity From The Inside Out https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/heal-infidelity Secrets to a Sexy Marriage:  https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/sexy-marriage-secrets7 Ways to Divorce Proof Your Marriage: https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/optin-DPYMBe...