285: ENCORE: How Do I Help My Kid Develop a Work Ethic?

If you've repeatedly asked your kid to help out and they still don’t follow through, this is the episode you’ve been waiting for. Dr. Lisa Damour breaks down why nagging doesn't build a work ethic — and what actually does. From linking privileges to responsibilities, to knowing exactly when to step back and let natural consequences do the teaching, this encore episode gives parents of tweens and teens a practical, guilt-free framework for raising kids who can be counted on, without turning every chore or assignment into a battle. 💡 YOU'LL LEARN: - Why structure matters more than warmth alone, and why holding the line on chores, even when kids are grumpy, is the right call - Why extrinsic motivation is perfectly valid, and how linking responsibilities to privileges mirrors the way the real world actually works - Why "complain but comply" is a completely reasonable goal, and how releasing the expectation of cheerful enthusiasm takes pressure off everyone - When to stop nagging about schoolwork and let natural consequences take over, and why middle school is the best time to do so - How framing chores as a contribution rather than punishment taps into something deeper than rewards alone ________________  GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠  DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS - Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠ - Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠ - The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠  UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠  VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠ ________________ Today's sponsors: Caraway: 10% off your next order with promo code ASKLISA at ⁠https://www.carawayhome.com/asklisa⁠ Hero: Use promo code ASKLISA for 10% off your order at https://www.hero.co. OneSkin: Use the code ASKLISA for 15% off your next purchase at ⁠https://www.oneskin.co/ASKLISA⁠. Skylight: Get $30 off your 15-inch calendar at www://www.MySkylight.com/ASKLISA ________________ Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday. ________________ Episode keywords: how to build work ethic in kids, unmotivated child chores, kid refuses chores what to do, tween lacks motivation school, intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation kids, how to get kids to help at home, child won’t do homework without nagging, parenting middle school motivation, consequences vs nagging parenting, link chores to privileges kids, teach responsibility tweens, why kids don’t take initiative, 11 year old lazy or normal, complain but comply parenting, structure vs warmth parenting Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices