286. If They Wanted To, They Would? The Truth About Effort In Early Dating

When you’re always the one texting first, planning the dates, and keeping a connection moving forward, it’s easy to start wondering: do they actually like me, or am I doing all the work?In this episode, I’m breaking down the truth about effort in dating: why some people initiate more than others, what someone’s effort actually tells you about their interest, and how to stop spiraling when someone goes quiet.Tune in for...What effort and initiation actually look like in dating (and why they matter)The real reasons someone might not initiate, and why the reason doesn’t change what you do nextThe one question to ask yourself when dating feels one-sided: do you want clarity, connection, or desire?The “I can’t tell” text and exactly when to send itWhy “if they wanted to, they would” is complicated dating adviceThe difference between having standards, setting boundaries, and trying to control someone’s behaviorWhy initiation chicken and wanting to be chased can keep you stuckHow multi-dating helped me stop investing in people who weren’t showing upHow to tell the difference between a normal imbalance in effort and a connection that isn’t reciprocalWhether you’re carrying a connection for a few weeks, wondering why you’re always the one making plans, or staring at your phone trying to figure out what their silence means, this episode will help you stop decoding their behavior and start paying attention to what their effort is showing you.At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a man who reconnected with someone he dated 18 years ago and has spent two months texting without ever meeting up.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEBook a 1:1 with meClose The Loop text templatesFree texting guideTHANKS TO OUR SPONSORS💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order! bboutique.co/vibe/datingintentionally-pod😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65🛏️ Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first order MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLYSubmit a dating dilemmaSlide into my DMs on IGWatch the pod on YouTubeGet the Date Tracker app!Reveal your dating blindspot (quiz)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.