288. Why High Achievers Burn Out: You’re Stuck in the Wrong State

For high achievers, pushing harder can become a way of life. You wake up thinking about what needs to get done. You move from responsibility to responsibility. You bring work energy home. Even when you finally have a chance to rest, part of you is still switched on.In this episode of Rewiring Health, I’m joined by Deri Llewellyn-Davies for a powerful conversation about performance, burnout, purpose, fear, recovery, and what it really takes to live well when you’re wired to achieve.Deri grew up in a small rural village in Wales, where community and shared responsibility were simply part of how life worked. That early foundation shaped the way he later approached leadership, pressure, and decision-making.Over the past three decades, Deri has advised and sat on more than 330 boards, becoming known for identifying the real constraint beneath the noise and helping founders and organizations think more clearly when the stakes are high. His signature Strategy on a Page methodology became a number-one bestseller and has helped thousands of founders scale with greater clarity and purpose.But Deri’s understanding of performance didn’t come only from the boardroom.He has also spent years testing the limits of human performance in extreme environments—climbing six of the world’s highest mountains, completing the Marathon des Sables, racing Ironman, and facing moments where survival itself was uncertain.Those experiences became a kind of laboratory for understanding what happens to the mind and body under pressure—and why some of the same traits that help high achievers succeed can eventually become the very things that exhaust them.That intersection of leadership, extreme performance, neuroscience, and lived experience led Deri to create Ultra States, a framework built around a simple but powerful idea:You are always in a state.The question is whether you chose it.Through Ultra States, Deri explores the distinct states of focus, flow, connection, recovery, and peak performance and why sustainable success depends less on forcing yourself to perform constantly and more on learning how to move intentionally between them.In this conversation, we explore:-Why ambition itself isn’t necessarily the problemThe difference between pushing from purpose and pushing from fear-Why burnout can happen when you stay in one dominant state for too long-How to create the conditions for flow instead of waiting for it to happen-How your physiology can overpower even the strongest mindset work-Why reaching for your phone first thing in the morning can immediately affect your state-Why attaching your identity too tightly to achievement can become dangerousDeri also shares the deeply personal experiences that shaped his philosophy, including the death of his father, confronting regret, facing life-threatening moments in extreme environments, and learning through fatherhood how easily intensity can follow us from work into the relationships that matter most.Connect with Deri:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thestrategyman/X: https://x.com/thestrategymanConnect with KellyTake the FREE Self-Abandonment AuditDiscover where you're unintentionally abandoning yourself—and begin rebuilding self-trust.👉 https://drkellykessler.com/selfaudit🌱 Continue Your JourneySelf-Respect Reset™A self-paced program designed to help you stop people-pleasing, regulate your nervous system, navigate guilt, rebuild self-trust, and begin choosing yourself with confidence.👉 https://drkellykessler.com/selfrespectresetReady for Deeper Support?The Self-Loyalty Mentorship™My private mentorship is designed for high-achieving women who have already chosen themselves, but struggle to stay with themselves afterward.Learn more:👉 https://drkellykessler.com/selfloyaltymentorship