29| Differentiation: Bonding & Setting Boundaries | Attachment V

Episode 29 of the The Desire Line podcast, hosted by Susette Magana, LMFT and Brandon Cook, MSt., titled "29| Differentiation: Bonding & Setting Boundaries | Attachment V" was published on July 10, 2018 and runs 52 minutes.

July 10, 2018 ·52m · The Desire Line

0:00 / 0:00

Episode Description

Don't forget to subscribe, rate & review us on iTunes!
It REALLY helps us to grow.

Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/desirelinepodcast
Instagram: @susette.magana.therapy and @brandonalancook
Twitter: @mydesireline, @susettemtherapy and @brandonalancook

Also, check out our Patreon (www.patreon.com/desirelinepodcast) if you'd like to help us to cover our production costs. Any amount is SO helpful to us. We're very thankful for you!!

Today, we're continuing the discussion on Attachment. This arc starts on Episode 25. We've talked Bonding for a few episodes, and today, we continue to discuss Boundaries. Taking a lot of our information from the books "Boundaries" by John Townsend & Henry Cloud.

"Exercising "Secure Attachment" as an adult includes learning how to have boundaries in our relationships."

Differentiation: you feel bonded enough that you can set boundaries
In other words, the is feeling bonding and safe enough that you can set boundaries.
It also means you can comfort yourself without having someone else having to make you okay. And you don't have to inappropriately take responsibility for someone else's feelings.

Codependency: a lack of boundaries, not "staying on your side of the fence"
Taking responsibility (or over-responsibility) for someone's else's state of being rather than drawing an appropriate boundary

Without "Differentiation" we respond to FEAR (see Amygdala, Fight or Flight).
AVOID...because the person's feelings are too overwhelming
PLEASING...taking responsibility for their overreaction and trying to please them enough to calm them down (which trains them to be codependent)
You may recognize in these the attachment types
VACILLATE...pretend like the overwhelming emotion doesn't exist or then getting overburdened by it and trying to solve it and then getting angry when we can't and perhaps withdrawing again

"You're not the boss of me…" Bill Harley
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1cgWL3SH2g

Dinosaurs/Hypnotize Me Mash Up:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VzZi-YrkRY

John 17
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+17&version=NLT

Share this episode

Similar Episodes

E118 | Food and Our Bodies: Learning to Live in Kindness

Apr 1, 2026 ·41m

E117 | Women in the Bible: Essential to God’s Story

Mar 18, 2026 ·34m

E116 | The Lie You Don’t Know You Believe, with Jennie Allen

Mar 4, 2026 ·44m

E115 | Boyhood Resurrected: Igniting a Revival of Daring and Heroic Boys

Feb 18, 2026 ·35m

E114 | The Mother Wound: Restoring What Was Lost

Feb 4, 2026 ·53m

E113 | Learning to Listen and Lean on God

Jan 21, 2026 ·38m

Similar Podcasts

The Secret and the Law of Attraction The Secret and the Law of Attraction This podcast will help you to understand the Power behind "the Secret". The "Law of Attraction" is an important part in the Secret of Success, inasmuch as it tends to bring to us the things, persons and circumstances in accordance with our earnest Desire, Demand, and Will, just as it brings together the atoms and other particles of matter. Make yourself an atom of Living Desire and you will attract to yourself the person, things and circumstances fitting in with the accomplishment of your Desire. You will also get into rapport with those who are working along the same lines of thought, and will be attracted to them and they to you, and you will be brought into relations with persons, things and environments likely to work out the problem of your Desires – you will get “next to” the right persons and things - all by the operation of this great natural Law of Attraction. No Necromancy or Magic about it at all – nothing supernatural or mysterious – just the operations of a great Natural L Gift by Amy Lowell Loyal Books Amy Lawrence Lowell was an American poet of the imagist school from Brookline, Massachusetts, who posthumously won the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry in 1926. Though she sometimes wrote sonnets, Lowell was an early adherent to the "free verse" method of poetry and one of the major champions of this method. She defined it in her preface to "Sword Blades and Poppy Seed"; in the North American Review for January, 1917; in the closing chapter of "Tendencies in Modern American Poetry"; and also in the Dial (January 17, 1918), as: "The definition of Vers libre is: a verse-formal based upon cadence. To understand vers libre, one must abandon all desire to find in it the even rhythm of metrical feet. One must allow the lines to flow as they will when read aloud by an intelligent reader. Or, to put it another way, unrhymed cadence is "built upon 'organic rhythm,' or the rhythm of the speaking voice with its necessity for breathing, rather than upon a strict metrical system. Free verse within its ow Thinking Green Mohammed Abdalla Mohammed Abdalla’s lifelong love of nature, combined with an eye-opening childhood loss, sparked a desire to study energy management and do his part to save the world through sustainability. After a stint on the wrong side of the pollution problem, Mohammed founded Good Faith Energy, a solar provider company that helps its customers take a big step towards decreasing their carbon footprint while saving them money.All those years of work on the front lines of sustainability work have given Mohammed perspective, insight, and a world of wisdom - and he wants to share it all with you. This show is designed to give entrepreneurs, business owners, those interested in sustainability and social impact leaders the information and expert advice they need to join the safer, smarter, greener future of our planet. Ready to start thinking green? Stick around. The Sportscaster In A Podd Wigpott Sportscaster in a podd was born out of the desire to discuss sports to passionate fans in a lesser riding system. Join the ride.

URL copied to clipboard!