29: Emotional Regulation for Parents: Navigating Big Feelings at Home and School with Allyn Miller

Your kid melts down, the school emails (again), and suddenly you can feel your whole body go into “mama bear” mode. In this episode, I’m joined by parent coach Allyn Miller (founder of Child Connection) for a down-to-earth conversation about what regulation actually means—and why it’s not the same thing as being calm all the time. We talk about how our nervous systems respond under stress (fight, flight, freeze, and even fawn), why neurodiverse kids can have bigger reactions, and how parents can start with one powerful first step: noticing what’s happening in your body before you react. We also dig into power dynamics in parent-teacher relationships, the role of humility and collaboration, and how “redos” and repair can be the most practical (and effective) tool in your parenting toolbox.Key Takeaways:Why regulation isn’t “stay calm,” but having a nervous system that can flex to match the situation A simple self-check practice: noticing body signals (tight chest, clenched jaw, racing heart) before words come out How fight/flight responses often show up verbally in parenting (“Just get over it” vs. “Whatever, I’m done”) What “flow/find another way” looks like—and why it’s the sweet spot for problem-solving with schools  How perception can feel like reality for kids (especially neurodiverse kids), even when adults see it differently  The hidden role of power dynamics between parents and teachers—and how to reflect on your own relationship to power Why “assume good intention” can change everything (with your child and with educators)  How to use repairs and “redos” after a hard moment—without pretending it didn’t happen Resources: Connect with Allyn Miller + grab her “number one tool for moms (and dads) to keep cool”: https://child-connection.com/ Book recommendation: Beyond Behaviors by Mona Delahooke🎒 Follow Reframe Parenting for use-now tools and strategies for school success.🌐 www.reframeparenting.com🎧 Visit www.reframeparenting.com/blog to dive into blog posts & podcast episodes to discover more school success strategies and get tools designed with you and your child in mind.Submit a Listener Question for a Future Episode💖Instagram: instagram.com/@reframeparenting🖇️Threads: threads.com/@reframeparentingWrite a review for the Unlocking School Success podcast & share a screenshot with me at [email protected] for a chance to win a free month in the School Success Library! 📝