#29 - Superbloom, Super Sexy

Hi Amanda Hello Abigail, how are you? You don't sound well. I'm a sicky baby. Oh, no.

Why are you so sicky? Okay? Are you Eliana my six-year-old niece who asks really stupid questions like why are you sick? Yes, yes, I am and I say I don't know I got a cold Well, that doesn't sound like a great answer Well, you know what's worse is then she says but why that doesn't seem kind of dumb This is the two girls talking podcast.

I mean she has six. Nobody knows how colds just are I'm sorry. I hope you get better soon. Thank you What else has been going on?

There's a cat that is not mine who is jealous that I am podcasting right now and doing a little like sitting strategically so that his tail is like hitting my arm I Hate we can't do that with the microaggressions, which I feel like is a cat's wheelhouse really what they excel at yeah I did something fun today. He moved on now. He's doing it to the dog I'm okay. Yeah, it's animal sitting with more animals more important than real life always.

Yeah Oh, it was a time for this animal to speak. I did something fun today Ask me about it Hey, Amanda. What are you up to? What's new anything cool happen today?

Oh my gosh? So nice to be to ask yeah I went to where the wildflowers are and down into like Lake Elson or there's a million wildflowers and golden poppies and craziness because of the intense rains That happened it's called a super bloom super bloom What else was super was the crowds eventually? But it was nice because it was hot and kind of steep to crank up into the canyon And so eventually like people just fell away because it's too hard to keep walking You know, I'm sure you're familiar with that Today's today follow way or were you like throwing but like pushing them off like the side of the hill like just like as you Pushed forward up the hill you were pushing them back away Yeah, and then like on the way back you had to like stumble over all the bodies a little bit I was about to do that because people are Disgusting animals who only care about themselves and we're stomping around the entire area destroying everything Yeah, and I was like oh so we have about eight more minutes of flowers before this entire place is stampeded by Instagram Look you lose trying to like make a shot happen Meanwhile me and Bethany are like timidly tiptoeing along the very center of like the dirt path trying to like not disturb a single rock Yes, right respect the trail and respect everything and every other person there is like how fast can I demolish this area by Trumbling onto it and rolling around in it. It was insane and I became so it sounds like you did do something really fun today I got up at like six and whenever we drove over there like seven got there around like eight I was like well, there's a lot of people here I didn't know what a lot of people was until we were walking back a couple hours later And there was people parked on the freeway on ramp the freeway off ramp all the way up the road the police were like coming up And down the thing being like it is illegal to park where you have all parked you have to move your car But you know no one can hear cuz they're all up in the mountains so crazy and they're Yeah, they were right Okay, so How you just sat up straighter in your seat and then like kind of propelled your body forward from your hips like a good Like a good yogi and just like your face just filled the screen and you went okay, okay?

Well, no because what I said to Bethany was who's a good sport with capital letters almost always an indulging my nonsense and like the nicest person I Was like you know what I have half a mind to like a ranger costume and come up here and start and she's like oh and start yelling at people I was like no, no, I wouldn't yell. I would just be like sir you're off trail I just want you to know that's a $250 fine in the state of California for you know disturbing the wildlife whatever I And I was immediately I played out the entire scenario of me getting my ranger costume and you know really making an impact on the area You might say but it was beautiful It was insanely beautiful we got there when the flowers were like just opening and by the time we left they were all completely open And it was really gorgeous. Wow and it was nice except there was I'm sorry other people there. Yeah, well so Being the road warrior that I am mm-hmm I did some research because I was like I got myself some super bloom I maybe want to go somewhere where I can camp so I can really like be smug about like the way I've enjoyed the flowers And also not anywhere near LA because of all the people that are like trying to get their gram Yeah, and and so I did some googling and I found these like photographer forums where they're all like gabbing about the best places to go Which changes every day because like sure because it's different like different sections and different types of flowers are blooming and like When it lasts rain blah blah blah blah blah blah blah so I was actually gonna go this weekend to have a smug camping trip But I got sick so hopefully hopefully in the next few days here.

I will find some Flowers without people Flowers about people would be the best. I can't tell you how many times I saw people just recklessly stomping into the middle of what was previously a pristine Hillside just like and sitting down and crushing a ton of flowers and or like stepping on just like being like oh now I'm stepping where there's flowers instead. I was blown away A lot of people were like doing a good job and being respectful and not doing that but honestly the people I saw doing that were clearly tourists who were here From other countries always say and I wanted to be like I don't know What you think America's about but it is definitely about destroying public lands so congrats and welcome. We're glad you're here Yeah, what we try to do is make our own trail if I make our own trail I mean be terrible people take it from someone else take it Take land from someone else and destroy it.

Yeah. Yeah Well and and try to look good while doing it. Oh, yeah as long as we're going to get evidence of our crimes then we're extra happy I want there to be some sort of hashtag. I want Hashtag and America.

No, so I want some sort of hashtag or someone to curate like no this what I want I want a tumbler where someone who's like me no someone who's like you But nobody wants that but less lazy as far as activating a tumbler because you're like how could I ever? That goes through and finds the poppy pictures that have obviously be taken have been taken in a situation I have a mineral that has destroyed a trail breaking the law and been like, okay, you know So do you like my tumbler? I was I love your tumbler idea. I was very close to being like I'm gonna be the cop in the situation I am going to be very close to what you mean was looking up like prime now Ranger costumes Prime not Ranger costumes same day delivery on the mountain brought to me by a post made if at all possible I I was like, oh, maybe it's not taking pictures of flowers.

I'm gonna do an art project I'm gonna take pictures of people destroying nature and that'll be like my thing And I'll post like a hundred little tiny pictures of people destroying this beautiful place love it. I know right pretty solid Could it be like a gallery show? Yeah, I mean if I get their names interview them about what was going through their thoughts like at the time that they were Stamping on the flowers that would be even better. I want that So I want that like like like the who was that guy who hosted the late night show and he would talk to people on the street?

Jay walking bam. I thought of a name without having to just describe it for 30 minutes What a blessing to us all truly a wildflower super blue miracle Jalen I would do that thing. Jay walking where we'd ask people questions like who's the president or whatever. I want it I wanted to like that.

Yeah, I wanted to be like that, but like so like no, what was it like visiting the super blue? Did you stay on the trail? Did you take pictures? I noticed you were Tromping I guess is the word I would use like tromping off the trail in order to get that perfect shot Do you feel the shot is great like it's the best shot ever good good?

I'm so glad yeah Let's see a couple people fall which made me really happy like stumbling all over the trail and falling which was beautiful I saw little kids crying also brought great delight to my heart. I saw a man taking a picture worth it I know and we rake the quality of the picture during which you know federal and state laws were broken in order to take it I Love that I also Feel like I feel like going off trail and destroying the lands. It's just as bad as graffiti in the rocks Yeah, now Take what I think doing anything against the law is equally bad. Oh sure the man the rules of Life the life rules of life.

I'm sorry. I feel tired already I'm sorry that talking to me seems to exhaust everything It's cuz I'm sick. I saw Bethany wielding like a super blue being traumatized I kept describing all of my feelings and how I would destroy every human became across she was like I Know I did hang out with you all day yesterday, too. Maybe that's why I'm tired you seemed really super bloomed out as well I'm like it like it.

I like it. Poppy friends all wilting under the radiant sunfire of my personal. I am a delicate poppy I know just so pretty Yeah We didn't start the podcast and we got to say words But we've been recording for so I know but we should at least be like hey everybody. This is the podcast for real You did you said hey Amanda hey and whatever sure We got some we got some reviews on iTunes some new ones.

Uh-huh. Yeah, my uh, my baby Podcast seemed to have finally worked. Thank you everyone who reviewed us. It really helps If I helps more people are subjected to violent displays of justice than yes, we're trying to get to um A thousand reviews by tomorrow.

We're trying to get to 20 reviews and if we get to 20 we're gonna do something special A live show It's a secret. You got to keep a suspenseful atmosphere when you're trying to get to 20 home reviews See I love the idea that it's a live show because I can't get anyone to hang out with me in real life So the idea that anyone would want to see me do a podcast is also hilarious Uh, Graham loves seeing us do a podcast. He laughs so hard because he's like, oh my god It's just like the podcast as if he doesn't know us as if he hasn't been hanging out with us for years before we ever had a podcast Which was a waste of our lives. I think like I think about all the stuff we could have been podcasting about and I'm just sad Well that That seems that seems to elevate our podcast to a level.

It doesn't actually uh hold hang on Can I redo these can I redo these things? Yes, and then I want to talk about repotting my succulents. Oh my god, okay plantcast Okay, Joanna Davis, right great podcast. I find this podcast hilarious and very relatable.

Keep up the good work ladies Who do you think Joanna Davis is? I wish I had more information about our fan here Joanna? Re-friendly fan reach out Joanna Davis and uh, let us know who you are how you found us And if you really find us relatable, we're hoping for some sort of joke life moment Okay, now our second podcast our second review Second it's another five-star review. Mm-hmm And it's by someone named Bionic Sal Okay And the subject of the review is mellowed Which I think I might take an offense to Yeah, I don't know what that means in context.

If anything we've been ratcheting up the tension Well, even if it means that it used to be crazy and now it's mellow. I'm like what what do you have a problem with? Are you saying it's better now that it's mellowed? Are you saying now that it's mellowed?

It's worth even five-star review. It's somehow really just like hit some backhandic compliment as my mom would say You really are sick. Yeah, disgusting pervert too much. I was yesterday too much uh Wait to quote bionic sal too much banter contagious giggles complete sentences rich and deep topics Wise words and wisdom excellent vocabulary and more funny stuff So that's the same thing that men love about me is the fact that I speak in complete sentences It's always been one of my main selling points and I'm really proud about it Um I was shocked to see excellent vocabulary used to describe me because uh if anything I can never remember the word I want to use or the thing I'm talking about and I just kind of say a lot of other words And eventually someone figures out maybe what I meant Is that someone me because if so no I do not figure out what you mean Um, you must be talking about me.

I have a really good vocabulary. All right Um So by on xcel she also submitted some billboard. I really like how she used the um iTunes store review to submit her billboard rage and her joke life minute Which are um, so for billboard rage she says the billboards out the palm desert way that show huge photos of the same mountain range You're driving past which I don't think I've seen this billboard, but does it have it without words or other words I don't know and if it's without words then maybe it's just trying to be like Nice like maybe it's like Instead of showing you a dumb pun. We're just trying to make this billboard blend in with amounts behind it Mm-hmm, but maybe if it's words on it, then I would definitely hate it And then she has some questions about joke life moments, but I'll save that for the end of the podcast Also the fact that she had some questions made me think that we have not really explained who we are or anything about ourselves in like probably 20 episodes And maybe maybe it's because we assumed that the person will see this is Graham So I mean, why would I explain why I have to Graham?

So maybe it's maybe it's a little confusing Maybe we need to give more context every once in a while. Okay. I mean should we introduce ourselves. Yeah, let's do it Let's do it.

We're you know, we're 30 minutes into this episode. So why not? Mini-soad within the soad soads on soads. So it's on soads I always try to think about what you're gonna choose as the title and I try to say really clever things and you never pick any of my clever titles You don't like for it.

Can you take an example? Soads on soads. Can you think of a different example from a podcast where I haven't like that I have already chosen the name of the episode? No, I have to take a lot of things into consideration.

One is oh my god the executioner at work. I'm sorry. I must be impartial here What is how long the title is so like sometimes it's really funny things, but it's so long that it's like Should we introduce each other Probably can I finish explaining how I name the episodes? I feel like if anyone cares would be the people people that listen to our podcast For them at this point So I take and consider the length of the phrase or quote I also if it's like totally random and like can't really be attached to the episode as a whole I'll skip it even if it's really funny because jokes out of context.

I just don't think are funny jokes Oh, I'm sorry. The only thing I find funny at all is your disjomer That absurdist humor is different than a joke out of context like the fact that a word is out of context is the joke I just don't think it's funny. So like it just feels lazy where it's like oh the joke is people don't know what it's about Alright, I agreed So it's always funny in context of the whole episode but just as an episode title I'm like And then also if there's something that is a quote that really sums up what we've talked about her But I will use that over something a little funnier just for the sake of me knowing which episodes are which Are you very fair? Are you gonna introduce me now?

Sure, I can introduce you so I can have a little break and rest my sore throaty Um abigail is abigail shilling. She's in her early 30s. She is My friend and business partner and a word traveler in the great business of two girls talking to a podcast show Yes, the greatest business of all the only business that matters um She lives in a vintage trailer with her two adorable cats and travels all over america doing cool travel related things living the dream as everyone says Everyone's like oh, I wish I could do that and abigail is like you can do that. Yeah, it really nice people say that Yeah, it's awful when people enjoy things.

I agree Well, they'll be like i'm so jealous and they probably need it as a compliment like wow It's so cool that you're doing that but really it just makes me feel like you could do it Like the fact that you're not doing it seems insulting if it really is that important to you Obviously I turned it all into a fight Yeah, no, I'm familiar with being alive and my eyes being open and talking to other people It's only because every single person says that to me Yeah, it's like even worse when guys who like are interested in me because they were interested in me because of my cool life Joyce and i'm like I promise you you're not actually interested in me You don't want any part of this. I'm telling you now Um, yeah, we have known each other since I was 16 and she was 18 We met at her college that I eventually went to two or two years later and we've lived together We've got an a million trips together. We get along really well And uh, she loves reading and being with her cats and um is a business listening to pop a million podcasts I just feel like scams and schemes. Those are the only interests I care about Yeah, so we often find new scams that we could try and get really excited scams being like, you know slow complicated ways to make money and turns out Yeah, so we're entrepreneurs and quote unquote unquote unquote And we come up with all sorts of new business ideas, but we call them scams Because people giving money to anything or people spending money anything People just spend money on anything feels like a scam like a really like, haha.

Look what we pulled off And i'm telling you how to show the same way with his five dollar coffees. Oh, yeah, he's like these suckers Anyway, I the reason why I interrupted to describe scam is because some people get all like weird when we say scam They're like wait, no, I know people get all we what a scheme what kind of scheme i'm like a real flim flam type scheme yo Anyway, like by this box you'll find out later. It's empty No, our scam like that is beautiful handcrafted item for your beautiful rustic wedding and enjoy it. That's our scam Right, so not a scam at all Um, let's spend hours and hours on product development and making some beautiful things so people can enjoy them.

What a scam Uh, what else about avocale? Um Do you feel like I missed anything? Oh, she's a business wizard and is always telling you why we can't Kind of biz whiz big time biz whiz big wig I like that Like I was on your business card. I do.

I do need new biz cards for your biz big time big wig biz whiz Big wig biz whiz. Yeah Um And yeah, that's about it. Her favorite color is green her favorite number 17 The year is 2017 so i'm very excited about that. It's a good year.

It's a good year for things She likes movies from a certain time period which would be early 2000s and has only seen movies from that time period Which is hilarious because I love movies all kinds i'm always like this movie and she's like i don't know is a man to peat in it I probably haven't seen it unless ash and kutcher is like the lead actor in it so It's not like a preference. It's like that is the time period. I know yeah, if you watch this I get it This is when I watch movies. Mm-hmm.

I know I tried to explain that to someone the other day I don't know if I can record much longer. It's getting worse. Um Yeah, someone was telling me about some movie And then I was like oh like the blah blah blah it was like the movie I described I'd come out in 2004 and I could remember every detail about it and they were like wow you I really loved that movie and I was like no it's just when you've only seen barely You've only seen 50 movies and they all have ash to kutcher and you're good to go My life in the they were talking about a famous actor and I was like I hadn't seen any movies with that person in it And they're like what? This would be more interesting if I could remember what we were talking about but no exactly Um, now it's just me.

Okay This is Amanda Mikey. She used to be called Amanda May Mikey, but then changed it ironically enough Is that ironic? Yeah, because I changed it from Amanda Mikey to Amanda Mikey and then changed it back. Yep Um, she's a millennial just ask her She got a car fix finally after two months of not getting tired.

She'll really enough to be the first thing in my biography Uh, here's Amanda. She's kind of a shithead. Uh, she got her car fixed. Uh, I guess I don't know anything else about this person You're a nightmare.

I'm sorry. I know it's like it's it hurts so much to talk that it's like that it's like it's something you can just whisper All right podcast readers. Are you ready for the super sexy whisper bio? Super bloom super sexy Amanda loves travel and adventure.

She's a writer. She writes movies. She writes emails She She's a real email writer. You can say I mean she really does like she really does love love love writing emails She uh wishes that she could work in customer service and not have to do any other hard jobs Painting a real picture of depravity here.

Sorry. It's a real cool chick on the move because i'm living in depravity Don't make your voice words dumb dumb Hang on maybe literally racking her brain for anything else to say about me like I could see the vacancy in the eye It's this weird. It's really scary. No, it's a really weird problem where it's like because It hurts so much.

It's like i'm focusing so much on the on the physical act of talking that I don't actually like my brain can't Yeah, and so i'm just like She might saw the poppies I think that my bio is like what I did today and yesterday. Yeah, she uh drove her car and um poppies You know what i'm gonna take a rain check And for next week's episode when my voice is back I'm gonna have the best bio for you ever and the advantage fans of our podcast will be like it For the next for the next release itching for the release that doesn't sound good. That's what she said creepy Do you was jing so what was the other story? You wanted to tell oh your perseculets Yeah, basically I just really got into succulents in recent times and uh yesterday avagil and i went Jesus and avagil and I bought a bunch of new plants and today I repotted them and then I took ones that I had already had planted before and trimmed them up and cleaned them up and um Repotted some offshoots that had started growing so now i'll have more succulents and i'm so amazed at how they grow and how fast they grow and you know I just love having them so it's fun fun fun.

I love succulents too. I've had I've had a couple for a while And really wanted to expand my collection Yeah, I got into them via cat fairy who um is too cool to listen to podcasts and so we'll never hear this but Um, she was like oh you should have some plants. I was like I should have some plants So she gave me a bunch of cuttings from her plants and took me to the plant store and Help me get all my plants set up and so we text each other pictures of our plants. Yeah, I like to call them babies Yeah, I call them babies too.

There's this girl who um travels full-time who's whose name is mandy um and She instagrams at 188 square feet In her instagram stories are like all about her plants all day long every day. She's like cactuses are happy Aww And watching her instagram stories makes me want to get like 500 more plants so So, you know, um, I can't record anymore because my voice is gone All right, well, we did about an hour. Let's do that's not sure. Let's do joke life moments Okay But first we have to explain what a joke life moment is because bionic sal doesn't know And I can do that and I like this bionic sal referred to it as a joke life bid it Which is cute Yeah, because that implies it would only be one minute out of your life instead of every waking moment of your life Which is what a joke life moment is the unending moment of your life So a joke life moment is a moment that makes you go.

Oh, is my life a joke? Is everything in my life a total joke and the answer is yes, of course it is your life is a joke This moment just serves to reinforce and remind you that your life's a joke Yeah, that it's like a cosmic joke being played on you You're the only recipient of the joke and it could be bad luck but usually It's a really expert combination of bad luck Meats your own stupidity or planniesiness, uh lack of timeliness. Yep. Yeah, it's just kind of like bad luck meets missed opportunities Is what is joke life moment?

Yeah, sad times Like you definitely helped yourself get to the point of whatever it is It's like oh something bad happened, but you made it worse by the fact of your existence Like that just really took it up over the edge Yep All right, I'm trying to think about my joke life moment was here. I'll do mine So the other day I was feeling really sore And it was kind of sore like when you do a really good yoga class and you haven't done it in a while and like the outside of your Thighs like going up into your butt or all sore and it kind of like It's hard to stand up and sit down And I was like what why am I so sore? And then I realized that I was so sore because I had spent the day before doing a thousand Peace puzzle on the floor No, uh-huh. Yeah, so basically the yoga that is making a puzzle on a floor is Made me sore for several days Because my life's a joke Um trying to think of mine I mean, this isn't really like a full blown one, but I'd say this is like a what's wrong with you type joke life moment Um, I was cleaning up my Etsy space and trying to put everything away before you showed up And get it all tidied up and clean nice so we can work and do our work And I there's like clothes all over the floor in here because junkie just closing here And I was rushing And I slipped on some clothes and fell over and hurt my foot really bad because Because I was too lazy to stop like I was too busy to like stop and pick up all the clothes But I definitely I've never fallen before slipped and I definitely slipped and fell Nice work So I don't know I feel like that doesn't a good illustration of what the joke life moment is but oh actually no the greatest joke life moment of all Getting my car fixed.

How could I even forget this? So my car- I had listeners She sits up straight The joke life moments just occur so frequently it's hard to like keep track of all of them because each day brings a new horrific moment to mind Yeah, it's not like oh, I can't think of one. It's like what's the best one for the pod. How can I pick?

Yeah, um so two months ago two full months ago my car got a flat tire and I had triple a come out and change it But then I was like I'm gonna get this fixed maybe on the weekend. I just don't have time right now And I Weated and waited and waited and I guess I just didn't get it fixed and then one day turned into like a week Which turned into a month and I was taking public transport every day and friends were taking me driving me places and I kept being like I really should get this fixed, but I don't know maybe it's gonna be expensive who knows um and I went after two full months. I took the tire in they looked at it and they were like oh there's nothing wrong with this tire It just wasn't like seated correctly against the wheel well. So it didn't even it didn't even it wasn't broken Nothing was wrong with it It just needed someone to look at it and if I had just taken it in that day They would have been like oh nothing's wrong with it everything's fine But for two months I let it just fester and be like who knows what's gonna happen?

Who knows what's happening? Wait, so there was nothing even wrong with the tire? Nothing at all. They said the tire was fine.

Wait, what how did it get what was the problem in the first place? It just went flat because it wasn't like tight enough. It wasn't like put onto the rim correctly or something So it just needed new air in it. It literally just needed to be put back onto the rim and like air.

Yeah, wow I know And then I was really bad at driving. Oh My fear of facing life has caused this problem that isn't a real problem to haunt me for months on end Oh wait, actually when I face my fears it becomes nothing perfect. Yeah, one of my topics I talk about in therapy Oh god, I wish I could go therapy. I like avoiding things because you're afraid of what the outcome is yeah Even me and the IRS right now.

You know it has to be done So listeners you can submit your joke like moments on our website Two girls talking about club which needs to be renewed by the way That's that was a note to me listeners not to you Unless you want to help us with that which would be great You can rate us review us as you so kindly did really makes a difference helps other listeners find our witty banter and our great vocabulary and our complete Sentences, which is you know sung throughout the iTunes universe our wise words and what stems You know all those things and joke like moments which I've confused everyone from the beginning of time Everyone and if we were good podcasters would be like wow, I guess that segment just really is it connecting people And yet we're like, you know what that segment is my whole life. So I can't really disconnect it. Nope. I'm just gonna be No, forever.

Unfortunately, which is the problem the root and end result as well The root the trunk the tree the fruit Wise words of wisdom Complete sentences. Hopefully next week. I will be sick and can bring back the contagious big league I hope so because I want to talk about billboard rage look great at all down man Yes, I mean there's so many billboards. It's you can find something to be angry at all over the city Yeah, my life doesn't evolve as many billboards.

Aren't she lucky? All right. Bye