292 - What My Childhood Taught My Nervous System

Most conversations about hard childhoods stop at “it affected them as kids.” Almost nobody asks what happens after — because childhood doesn’t stay contained to childhood. It moves in with you as an adult, and it rarely announces itself when it shows up. In this episode, I walk through Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs): what the research actually found, how it showed up in my own life, and four practical starting points for anyone who recognizes themselves in this.What ACEs Actually AreIn the 1990s, Kaiser Permanente and the CDC studied adults about specific categories of childhood hardship — abuse, neglect, and household dysfunction like addiction, untreated mental illness, or divorce. What they found wasn’t just emotional; it reshaped how researchers understood long-term physical health outcomes too.How It Shows Up Decades LaterHigher rates of heart disease, chronic pain, weight and substance struggles — and a quieter pattern I know personally: being “braced for impact” even when nothing is actually wrong. I share how noticing this in my own stress data was the first real clue.It’s Not a Life SentenceA high ACE score doesn’t determine your future. The single biggest protective factor across every study was having just one steady, caring adult somewhere in the picture — and that changes the odds significantly.Step 1: Name ItYou can’t fix a reaction you haven’t identified. I walk through how naming a pattern (“I don’t trust the future”) is the first real step, not a reason to stay stuck in it.Step 2: Your Body RemembersOld alarm systems fire in new contexts — a late bill, an unexpected email — and recognizing that pattern is different from being ruled by it.Step 3: Stability Is Not Wasted EffortRebuilding a calm, steady life as an adult recalibrates a nervous system that never had that as a baseline. It may take longer than it would for someone with a steady childhood, but it’s not out of reach.Step 4: Everything Is FigureoutableThe bridge from naming the pattern to actually doing something about it — including the strange, personal story of how my own decades-long insomnia finally resolved.If any part of this sounds like your own life, it’s not a life sentence — it’s information. Naming it and building stability from here is where the real change starts.Recommended resource: The original ACE study questionnaire is short, self-scoring, and available online in about five minutes if you want a starting point.Find every show I do at jillfromthenorthwoods.com.This episode touches on childhood trauma and family dysfunction. If anything in it sounds like your own experience and it’s weighing on you right now, please consider reaching out to a mental health professional or a trusted person in your life for support.Jill’s Linkshttps://jillfromthenorthwoods.com/ - Find my podcasts, videos, downloads and ways to contact mehttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspodhttps://x.com/NorthWoodsJillhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepsEmail the podcast at [email protected] choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, life coach, or mental health professional. Any habits, strategies, or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or counseling advice. Results vary — small steps look different for everyone. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.