This is optimal leading daily episode 2937. What relating looks like by Julie Morgan Stern of Julie Morgan Stern.com. And I'm Justin Malick. Welcome back to the Sunday bonus episode where I give you a little extra content from a podcast in our network.
They think we'll also help you live life that's a bit more meaningful and happier. And this episode is coming from optimal relationships lately. So that's what I've heard of here. Here's Greg with another post as we optimize your life.
What relating looks like by Julie Morgan Stern of Julie Morgan Stern.com. Relating to your child is probably the most irreplaceable job you have as a parent. You are more than anyone else on earth who your children look to for affirmation and recognition of their self worth. It is through relating that you give your children their sense of self, that they're valued and valuable in the world.
It's no small task. Most of us get the need to spend time with our kids. But relating to kids at every age and age isn't always so easy. It helps to convert relating into tangible, measurable actions that allow you to connect with different aspects of your child's developing personality and identity.
When it comes down to it, relating can be broken down into four categories of activities, all of which provide a platform for connecting, bonding, and infusing your child with the unconditional message that they matter. Number one, talk. If the eyes are the gateway to the soul, conversation is the gateway to your child's inner thoughts, insights, and experiences. Every child is navigating the world for the first time.
We can't assume we see what they see, notice what they notice, or conclude what they conclude. The aim of conversation at every age is to help you see the world's reworked child's eyes, find out what's going on in your child's mind, and demonstrate a genuine interest in who they are as individuals. Number two, read. While conversation connects you to your child's inner life, reading exposes children to other worlds.
The bond that forms between parents and child while sharing stories is so powerful, and so vital for children's happiness and development that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends parents we allow to their children from infancy, free young adulthood. According to a survey by Scholastic, 83% of kids aged 6 to 17 said they still love reading with their parents and cited as one of the most bonding experiences of their childhood. Number three, play. Play is so important to child development that it has been recognized by the United Nations Commission on Human Rights as a right of every child.
Children learn to interact with the world through play from a very young age. Play is a great way for your child to connect with you in their world on their terms. Quote, you can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. End quote.
Said Aristotle. Number four, sharing adventures. Almost anything can be an adventure to a child. From going on a treasure hunt in the grocery store to riding a bus for the first time, the key is to be fully present for the adventure by participating in discovery and exploration with your child.
Well, that's facing it. It can be hard to be fully present with our kids. Children operate at a different pace, and some of the things they want to spend time on can be boring as heck to us. At its core, relating requires being fully present, responding, and tuning into your child in a way that communicates right now you are the most important thing to me.
But when our minds are preoccupied by thoughts of work in our own personal needs, it can be difficult to accurately convey this message. So what can you do? Stop what you're doing and give your child your full attention. Tune into what's going on with your kid at that moment.
No multitasking. Look at your child while she's talking to you. Face to face. I love a communication.
This will help your child feel that you're talking with her, not at her. Slow down to the speed of your child. Shift gears when interacting with children to account for their different speed of processing. As Karen Spencer found her whole child international puts it, children have magic in them and understanding the different speed of response enables the deep connections we create.
The younger the child, the more patients is needed. Show interest in curiosity. Really listen. Stay open and encourage your child to expand on what he's saying.
Explore his views, opinions, feelings, expectations, and plans. Watch your body language and facial expressions. Your child can tell if you're annoyed and patient or disinterested. Enter your child's world.
Focus on things that interest them. If it feels like torture to play the same boring game, listen to a repetitious story or do something that doesn't interest you. Focus on seeing what they see in the activity. Learn to notice without judgment what excites them or scares them, what challenges and engages them.
Limit the teaching. Avoid the impulse to turn every interaction into a life lesson. The goal is to enjoy and bond with your child. Not give advice or help unless you're asked for it.
Remember, relating is a way of being. It doesn't matter whether you're cooking, playing, relaxing, hiking, or even dealing with the tantrum. What really matters is that you are there, present emotionally and comfortably connected. It's much less about the amount of time you spend interacting with your child.
And more about the quality of that time. A little focus time was a long way with the kids. You just listen to the post titled What Relating Looks Like by Julie Morgan's Stern of Julie Morgan's Stern.com. Thanks a lot to Julie for reminding us of the truths of relating to and spending time with our children.
Like many relationships that are not only long but also so close that we may take them for granted a little bit. It's very easy to go into autopilot with children. At least to some degree. Over time we are inevitably reminded of ourselves and the desire to take more time for ourselves, which can potentially lead to disengagement, even resentment.
But even if it doesn't get this extreme, it's still easy to at least watch a little more TV and spend a little less time asking kids about their days. This natural progression is important to be aware of. And I think Julie does a great job of reminding parents not only other value of relating, but how easy it is to do. This guide on the types of relating that are important makes it much easier for parents to spend time with their children in ways that they can be sure are meaningful.
And if time is still short for activities, extra busy parents can at least intertwine these themes into the conversations they have with their children. You know, asking them about their favorite books or asking them about recent adventures and doing so attentively. Simply being more aware of relating makes it easy to manifest it in a variety of ways and be ever cognizant of it. So even with short time, that can make for huge parental efforts.
That will bring us to the end of today's already everybody. As always, I appreciate you being here. I appreciate you supporting the show and I hope you have some takeaways from this episode as I did. It's certainly worth mentioning that even those without children can use these tactics to enhance relationships with family and friends as the inner child in all of us never quite nice and sure to appreciate opportunities to step back into the things not that Julie discussed those things that we really enjoy in childhood.
So have a great day everyone. Go out there and spread some love and I will see you in a Friday show tomorrow. That's where your optimal life awaits.