Headly Had my catch up on her kinky so kinky because he gives We can fly da doo doo doo doo Ah god, that is such a good I mean can't touch this is pretty good too Can't touch this is awesome I love the super freak Don't get me wrong But hammer is amazing Ok stop hammer time Pretty good out of playing parachute pants, pretty fun, like literally classic classic 80s that encompasses all the fashion and chaos that was the 80s. But I must admit that it is just such a perfectly dirty, great funky song, the original Rick James. But it did make me, I thought about that today because there's other celebrities that have big drug issues that are now having consent, you know, consent violation and assault allegations and things like that, of course, Marilyn Manson. And, uh, and Regime's dead.
Well, it's just, you know, Marilyn Manson's obviously a freak and, uh, and so one of his partners is alleging abuse and rape and things like that over time and whatever. I'm not going to get into that. Every victim, everybody who feels they're a victim has a right to be heard and I want to hear all of that. That is very important.
So I'm not going to get into, I'm not getting into validating any fucking dude. I think the point that I want to make is this may be a sign that drugs and alcohol involved with kink may blur what you think is consensual. No. Yes, it's true.
It is. It is true. That's why I got to say crazy talk is that boogie. I don't know, but I'm just saying when you have a rock star that does a lot of drugs and then they bring in kind of people into their life and then you take drugs while you're sexual with these people, you may think everything's cool, man.
But if you're not a good communicator and you're not constantly negotiating and you're not negotiating prior to getting high with your fucking partners, there is a chance, however, my newt, sarcasm included that, um, that's going to create problems. And so it just goes back to, I'm glad we have this show, Kathy. And I'm glad we can tell people, because once again, I'm not telling people to not drug and fuck or drunken fuck, but you're everything changes when you're high and your interpretation of your entire reality changes if you're high. And if you're really high and you're using a lot of drugs, then it's really easy to just think everything's cool because you're fucking high.
And now you're hurting somebody or somebody isn't as on board as you think they are. You know, once again, I'm not here to speculate on cases or whatever, but I can say it, it's pretty common. Drugs and alcohol are involved in a lot of cases and the defense of I was high, everything I thought everything was okay and that they were into it. That's not going to, it doesn't work.
That's generally a true of anything, you know, and frankly, you feeling good is not exactly good barometer of how good you're doing. Yeah. All right. So in fact, if you're feeling euphoric, you better not be using heavy machinery.
Yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you. I don't think I mean, like getting high and stuff during sex or whatever, like if you're doing spanking or, you know, maybe a little bit of this or that, that's, you know, but it's like, let's not do knife play and fire play and, you know, heavy suspension bondage while I'm fucking tripping balls on acid. Let's just not do that.
Let's just say no, that should be a limit unless you have a designated spotter because I'm not here once again, I mean, fuck it, you know, you know, kink on acid. It's okay, kink on acid, but have a sober sponsor there that can say, um, you can't do that. She's not made of rubber, even though right now she looks like rubber to you because you're hot. And let's face it, that's not a fun job.
Who wants to spend there not night babysitting some dude who's all high on something? Well, I, you know, you know, you could have service, you know, be a service. I mean, I'm sure it's entertaining to hear the stupid shit people say when they're high, it's annoying. It's annoying as a sober person now.
It's entertaining to hear all the shit I used to say when I was high as a sober person because everyone says the same shit. It's the same fucking conversation. But, uh, but anyway, Kathy, the following show is for mature audiences only listener discretion is advised. And if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself.
One, two, three, four. Do you feel your sex life is quite lame? Scared that your desires might be strange? Come and join the kinky world of play.
Hello and welcome to a very tumultuous Piverity podcast, the show where we explore the adventures of the kinky lifestyle, sex and a human mind. Recording live via Zencaster. That's Zencaster for all your podcast needs. I'm Kathy.
I'm Count Boogie and I don't think I you should talk so nicely about Zencaster right now. Hey, they're there for us when a lot of people just weren't. Yeah, yeah. That's true.
You know, it's I don't know if that's a coerced statement that you're like, you're like, say something nice about us or we'll turn it off and you won't have it. It's like, you know, I understand that we should be grateful for things, you know, but you know, sometimes shit. Fuck, you know, I had a text breakup this week. What a text breakup at four in the morning.
It was good. Was it new? No, no, it was not. It was one of the other partners and I won't say the name because some people think that's tacky, but I love it.
So I wake up to pee at four in the morning and I notice there's a text from somebody and one of my one of our partners that yes has been on the show and talked about on the show before because you know, there's like 11 of them. And we haven't seen anyone remember in like nine months, right during this this shit whole time. So but I send, you know, everyone's involved in school and university and master's programs and medical, this and medical lab. So I just send, you know, like once a month, once twice a month, just like a text, you know, just positive, you know, your mind is amazing, keep going, love you, miss you, you know, kind of stuff, just, you know, a little connection.
And so but there's not a lot of contact and everyone's just kind of waiting for this to be over so we can all get back together again because that's kind of our situation. So one of the lovers was not really responding for the past couple months. And so I send things for Christmas and New Year's and you know, thinking about you blah, blah, blah. And I don't push because everyone has to go through their stuff and I understand people are depressed and whatever.
So I'm just not going to push and I'm just going to keep responding. I people that I responded to for like two years that never responded and then just to let them know, I mean, regardless of whether we're going to fuck or not, I still think you're awesome. And if you're going through somebody like someone had a lot of depression, one of our partners for years, institutionalized and stuff like that. And so I just I'm just going to send the message and throw it out there, right?
Doesn't take more than, you know, 20 seconds to send a nice thing. And so finally, this person responded in a long text and which I thought was funny because they're really shy and and it was very nice and they're like, I don't know why I'm saying this. I don't even really know why this is, which maybe they did or didn't. But I just kind of have a gut feeling that we shouldn't see each other anymore.
And you know, but then it was very nice. And you know, you and you and you and the other girls really helped me build my confidence and and you've been so wonderful. And I know you think I'm an asshole for doing this and and so forth. And the reason I bring it up is because I think I did the proper, the proper thing that I want to share with our audience.
And I just rest for the morning. I get up, I go, well, I'm up, I'm in the car. And I just respond. You have every right to not be into your partner or partners.
You have the right to change your mind or your feelings and change who you are and be who you need. It's been an honor to be a part of your life. I think you're amazing and wonderful. The door is always open to you.
And I wish you the best in your adventures and service to other people. Done. And that's it. And I think, you know, day later, I got to thank you, you know, thank you, Boogie, you know, and a little smiley face and heart.
And I think for a, I don't mind being broken up with in text. I don't mind. You know, this, the younger generation, which I date a lot of women that are a lot younger than me, the younger generation is afraid to communicate a lot of times. And so I understand this was because there's so many bad responses that you get from people.
I understand you're trying to, you know, you're afraid there's going to be a bad reaction. But what's good about it is, I don't think you can ever lose by trying to let someone be themselves. All I need to hear, I don't need to hear it. And actually, because people are like, I was talking to the fucking Leah, who sent me a picture of her tits, by the way, I'll talk about that in a second, because I'm so desperate for potato mayhem stuff.
I'm like, Leah, can you please send me a picture of your tits? Because I have nothing to talk about in potato mayhem. And she's like, I will send you a picture of my tits. And she did.
And it was lovely. It was all black and white and sexy. And I was like, oh, and I sent it to you. And he was like, Oh my God.
So that was good. But back to the thing, I don't need closure, validation, a hundred reasons or whatever. All I need to know is that you're done. That you don't want to be with me in that way anymore.
And that's it. That's good enough. That's all I need to know. Yeah, I mean, let that be a lesson to people.
Honestly, if you could just be honest, and then let the chips fall where they may, you may not get the response you want, but you can sleep at night. Yeah, I just need to know that hopefully, hopefully it wasn't something I mean, I would like to know if it was something really negative that I did or I didn't know or. But ultimately, I don't need to because if I'm working on myself, Kathy, and I'm open to people criticizing me and I'm in therapy and I'm doing things that are actively looking in the mirror at who I am, I'll eventually find out what's wrong with me if I'm honest. I don't need to hound somebody who may not be very articulate themselves.
They may not even know exactly how to explain why I'm an asshole. It's not up to them. It's ultimately not up to somebody else to explain to me what's wrong with me. It's ultimately up to me to find that out.
Do you understand what I'm saying? I do. Yes. So I thought that was very interesting.
I admire you for your stick toadiness. I don't think I would have continued texting someone for months without a reply. But then again, you are a predator, so you're much more willing to stalk your prey for long periods of time. Long periods of time.
Well, I mean, like I said, it doesn't always work out. And some people, I mean, part of my kink is making people feel powerful and good about themselves. You know, like I heard Hollywood Daddy once said, I don't fucking humiliate people to break them down. I humiliate people that make them stronger.
Right. So that's part of the kink. The part of the kink is if I can, if I can be a pervert and make you a better person at the same time, that's power. That's straight fucking power.
Because now you're powerful. I'm powerful. I have to be more powerful so I can have more ways to fuck with you. So you'll become powerful.
It's it's a kink. Right. So welcome. Nice.
Now tell me about the titties. I just did. That's it? Yeah.
Well, yeah, she sent me titties. It was funny because she's like, fuck it. I'll send you some titties. Quick, you're whining.
Here you go. In that leo way. And but she did. It was a bug.
I mean, oh my gosh, she's she's always been beautiful and even with her health problems or whatever, you know, she does a lot of she's really pretty with her, you know, photo work with of herself. She knows that she knows how to dress it up. Good. Well, you don't need a whole lot of dressing up of boobies, by the way.
No, not traditionally. Traditionally, you know, there's a nice boobies. Now the penis on the other hand, if you're going to take a picture of that, you better get some good lighting on it, get it in a good angle. And maybe if you're lucky, you'll get a good picture.
Maybe put a little jacket on it. Who is it? Nikki Glaser? What's I think that's her name, the comedian female blonde comedian who I'm in love with now.
And she mentions that she likes to take it up the ass and is a bottom. And so now I'm drooling over her. She and she's she is legit comedy. Like she is our type of comedy.
I think I've talked about it. I don't know if I've talked about it, but she's amazing. But she has like a show and a podcast and she literally did this thing, which which you will now have to go look at. I fucking swear.
I think it's Nikki Glaser. I hope it is correct me if I'm wrong. Pivertopodcast. Umail.com.
But she did a thing where she got guys off Craigslist. She got like four guys off Craigslist and she's like, look, you know, we got to spoof up the dick pics. We got to make these better. So we've hired these lighting people.
We have sets and whatever. So she literally they have like foam core little sets that they stuck guys dicks through the hole and like they're at the Eiffel Tower giving coffee and ones in a bathtub. And she put on gloves and grabbed all these strange dudes dicks and pulled them through the hole and like put little eyes on them. And like one of them was in a bathtub and she put a little, you know, the shower cap on the tip with little cucumbers on the eyes and the tweezers.
And it was great. So you're right. So and their dick pics looked, you know, I would say they have to stand enough for that to remain hard during all the they weren't hard. Yeah, they weren't hard.
Oh, they were all plastic. They're off-lasses. So, you know, they put little coats on them and and whatever. Yeah.
I you know what? I don't care. I still like flaccid penises. Well, that's good.
Then you and I should be together. No, because my class had often I'm with the right guy because he couldn't care less if if he wants to subjugate me at the moment, he will push me down, get me to kneel and pull out his dick. It doesn't matter what size it is. I'm supposed to hold it in my mouth.
That's what I used to do. The guy has no shame. And I like that about me. That is a very sexy quality when you're not afraid or ashamed of the fact that your penis isn't hard 24 seven.
And I find it hard to really, you know, have any empathy because it's as if you're a you body into all the bullshit that that's the way supposed to be in the same way that women buy into all the bullshit that you're supposed to be this size, this figure, these kinds of dimensions with this kind of skin. And it's the same thing for guys. You're gonna get you're gonna be flaccid the majority of the day. That's the resting state of your penis.
Yeah. And once again, I think that takes a little air out of the balloon for most of us guys to know that there are women out there that understand that. But as somebody with erectile dysfunction, when it's time to perform, and you're in a room with said partner or multiple partners, and you're the only dick in the room and it doesn't work, pretend. You got to pull out the deal to want to stick, man.
That's the only one to stick time. I mean, and no matter what, I'm not gonna say, I mean, obviously I'm pretty good with handling the situation, but there's nothing I there's there's I have very little growth in the fact that there's not a little bit of hatred for myself that I can't fuck when I want to fuck. You know what? You're absolutely right.
I feel very fortunate that I don't need to feel sexual arousal to start having sex. And as women, that is a huge win for us. And we don't experience what you guys have to experience. I mean, I've already told creative explorer, you got to get the fucking Lou, man, because I get that you get turned on just by making me forcing me down on my knees or tying me up.
I don't get wet just because you bend me over the bed. I wish I did. I wish I were one of these women. I'm not.
And I'm done pretending that that's the way it's supposed to be. So get the fucking lube and keep at it because couple of minutes into it, I'll start getting aroused. But I feel very lucky that I don't have to get an erection just to start having sex. Yeah, it is.
I was thinking about that today and it's like, because sex workers, like, I'm pretty sure that they're not that into some of their clients. Yeah, you know, not some of them are like, well, it's a client. This is this is what I do and it makes them happy and they give me money. And and it's a it can be a good job and a lame job.
But but yeah, well, I'm sure a lot of times they're not turned on, but they can still at least function enough to perform the act. This has been an interesting show so far. We've got like, you know, all these different topics. We haven't even got into the topic topics.
I know we're going to end up cutting something out, which I always hate. No, I mean, let's let's okay, fine. Let's just go to Fed Life Stuff. Okay.
Zulililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililil Perhaps not completely evil like I only do evil 98% of the time But there's definitely a strong 2% of time where I'm not usually during a nap or a bath That's got to be the subtitle underneath his name But only part of the time cuz sometimes I pee down the drain and hope that it falls on my neighbor's house All right, so he wrote a post called I get it now But I still don't like it in which he says the trend to that fat famous people seem to have of just instead blocking anyone who disagrees with them Has always bothered me as someone who gets a lot of shitty comments and emails My theory was that it was just part of the game We chose to play thus I often made fun of the be nice to me or be blocked was he's lately though I'm a bit more tolerant of that stance. I've started blocking people more not necessarily for disagreeing with me I can handle and enjoy a good debate But for being assholes about it like I logged in today to five separate status updates Miss quoting misrepresenting and wholly calling me out on things I didn't actually say and since I use this site for fun and relaxation I'd block those people for disturbing that with their bullshit. I never want to be able to bubble around me of people who only agree with me I'm not even a tistice enough to believe everything I say is correct And I'm not stupid enough to believe that there's only one correct way to do something and I'm not delusional enough to think I can't still be taught a thing or two. I want other opinions and thoughts and ideas.
I just don't want assholes I give two kudos Two very evil kudos. They must be evil kudos. I give them to mostly evil. These are evil kudos I really enjoyed this post because of the attempt and the quest for balance and Because I'm like that too.
I'm very adamant about letting people talk shit and give their you know negative dissenting opinions Disagreements because that's how I learn I don't learn anything If everyone agrees with me I learned nothing I will never learn anything Unless I go and like do a bunch of you know seeking on mountaintops You know meditating with yak urine around in the Himalayas or something, but yeah I learned well That's how you become you know, you know, like a monk or something like that But yeah, you're what I learned what I learned from like I was talking to someone today about the people on the show that I Argue with and then the people that I don't argue with or that don't want to argue with me And guess whose name wasn't on the don't argue with boogie list that would be you what that would be Kathy? Because someone's talking about oh, you know, nobody wants to walk on eggshells around you and I'm like Kathy doesn't have that problem Kathy literally walks into my farm and looks for the eggshells that have little chickens growing in them and smashes everyone Are there some eggshells in here? I'm not good. I'm not walking on them.
I'm just talking them But what a lame show this would be if we just agreed with each other we're great with each other a lot Well, yes, we do but I learned from you When you don't agree with me, right? I learned and not even just learn there are so many shows where I come in and I'm like We're in your right right right and then as the conversation continues I have to accept that that other point of view is valid and it makes sense And so then my right right right turns into well I agree with this point But there is another point and maybe I need to consider that point more and then start considering what people with that point of You are experiencing and then I learn so no matter what People disagreeing with me is what teaches me things and so I really appreciate when people acknowledge you can't you can't segregate Segregation does not work. There is no solutions in segregation if you surround yourself with only people that believe what you believe Okay, let me put it this way and then I want to hear your thoughts. All right right now right now Let's go out in the entire world Let's let's talk to every like a magneto or no I'm whatever Picard's character was an X-Men that has the helmet that he can see everybody in the world all the X-Men in the world He can have contact with him I'm reaching out right now to the minds of every human on earth And I can say with a hundred percent certainty that every one of us right now is wrong About something or many things and if we don't and if we segregate ourselves From other groups and people we're never we're never gonna see that wrong But if we are abused by assholes at some point You're just gonna be defensive against a troll and you have to find a balance to people that inspire me to look at myself And people that are just trying to distract from their own pathetic life because they want to be a troll right that balance is is the key He is absolutely right.
There's a point beyond which you're not getting anything out of it And this person is just being an asshole now I'm sure the person who speaking doesn't think they're being an asshole. No, none of us ever think we're being assholes. I do but That's true. Okay, let me be phrase that none of us but boogie everything Hey, man, you invited me into the farm.
I'm gonna be stopping on Abortions just straight chicken abortions all over We are controlling the surplus population of baby chickens All right, but I think that they're all I mean, you know what but you and I have reached the point where that line Where we're being honest with each other gets crossed and now one of one or the other of us is being an asshole Usually both of us right and it goes into the bad kind of communication that that actually harms us It's one of the reasons that as we talked about a couple of shows back We don't you and I don't really talk too much of these days Outside the show because we've realized that for whatever reason at this point in our lives We're reaching that line and crossing it more often than is healthy right and and we started to pull back I don't know if it's always gonna be that way, but it's just that's the way it is now at least we understand that I have a theory though that the reason a lot of people Don't like brutal honesty don't like that kind of raw information going back and forth between you and someone else is because most people Don't know how to do it right. They don't know how to do it well And they end up crossing that line too often honesty hurts like fucking hell and I there aren't I mean I'm gonna be honest. All right. It's great when somebody agrees with you It's fucking fabulous.
It feels wonderful. It gives you that warm glow inside Most of the times when honesty has been thrown at me it fucking hurts because if you're throwing it at me It's because I'm not seeing it if I were seeing it you wouldn't feel the need to throw it in my face But I just think a lot of people don't know how to do it in a healthy way and it carries over into the asshole Realm because we just don't have a lot of experience with it So I just think we need to start practicing it more practice being honest in the King community You fucking have to do that or you're not gonna get very far and that's that just my opinion I know I've actually talked to a couple of people in my past who believe don't believe that that's true that you can still be a Predator in an asshole in the King community of course you can it's just that you're not gonna get that far because the King community is We are by necessity very careful very insulated and we we try and guard our territory more because we Value it more because we know we can't be this open up in the regular world So we're we just take more care so it's doubly hard three times as hard to be an asshole in this community for those reasons So I love I live this post because I think it's something that gets missed a lot And I know that I've had friends in the past who think and it this one this was this is always hard for me Who friends who think that they're doing the right thing by being honest? But they're not because they're picking and choosing when they're being honest for example I had a friend who cheated on her partner and then decided they were gonna come clean Well good for you fabulous. Why didn't you do it before?
Why didn't you discuss all the times that you weren't feeling great in the relationship? Why weren't you honest about the things that he wasn't doing right or that he was doing that hurt you? Why weren't you honest before and I think that's another reason that people don't say it in a blanket statement? I don't like that kind of honesty isn't good It's because you chose the wrong fucking time to do it and it's surprising to me How many times I've run into this where you think you're being a good person?
You're being honest, but you're not really because you're almost using your honesty as a weapon you chose very carefully When you were going to be honest, so if you can't have that kind of honesty as a more foundational part of your personality You're not really being honest. You're just being a fucking asshole Wowzers. Wow. There's a lot to unpack in that minute and a half monologue there miss Kathy Let's just let it go and let the listeners know no no no no I totally I'm on that page with you that The best communication starts early and not later once it's all blown up and and I absolutely agree with you You can't shame that because you're are where you are right now Like if you're somewhere and you haven't been honest with your partner and you haven't been telling them how you feel and now these other behaviors have come out Look, ultimately start being honest now, right?
Don't don't be like oh shit Kathy fucking said I'm a douchebag for not being honest sooner, you know But it's a great lesson that you know I'm saying it's like shit I better just keep lying because now I'm a dick and I'm a cheating piece of shit So no no no start the honesty now, but moving forward from today on You know practice that communication because that's a good point is that that communication that doesn't happen It's going to spin in your head and give you the excuse to go do something negative to the relationship to give yourself relief in part Your responsibility you weren't honest with your partner and gave them no opportunity to change or address the situation So if you just go out and cheat or do negative behavior or do something harmful to the relationship You have a responsibility in that because you never gave the other person a chance to to at least change And then if they don't change fine break up the relationship and and go move on right But I think it's really going back to another thing that you talked about that was amazing is What is my personal responsibility? Having this information that people don't communicate well Knowing like we've talked on the show before that guilt and shame is pretty much the only tool any of us were raised with So most people don't have any real good, you know forward thinking all encompassing look at the bigger picture What are their feelings? Why are they having their feelings like that? So that's my responsibility.
I know that most of the people that are going to come at me Maybe don't have those skills. So even though I get defensive and hurt and angry I have to step back. It's my responsibility to go. What are they trying to say is there some truth to this?
Their approach sucks. We okay. I think that approach sucks, but they're trying to tell me something is there something to it? That's my responsibility because if I sit around and wait for everyone to fucking up their game in communication I'm never going to communicate with anyone and I'm never going to learn anything If you're armed with the information that people are generally not great communicators in the world then it's my responsibility to try to interpret better Right because otherwise then I'm just going to be in denial with everyone else great post excellent post and I'm really evil Yeah, not really is mostly evil man.
Yeah, but I'm saying this post was purely evil because it was like yeah Go ahead and talk shit, but fuck you at the same time Feels real good and it's super low-carb vagina But I know it's rock the world needs to know enigma. Yes was there We literally did not record last week because we wanted to give room We wanted to give time for a magical event to happen that might include enigma getting some play did that occur Unfortunately, oh god damn it. I know oh my god. No, so Friday the day of the event came and Like I had my bags packed with like extra Nitro gloves and some hand sanitizer and masks, but like also like I got like condensed my toy pack so it's like I'm just bringing the essentials and Then one of the one of the couples I was gonna come there roommate was like I'm I'm going to see my partner who is in cancer Remission in like two weeks and so I want to be super careful and so they had to back out okay, and then we just fair Frustrated there.
Yeah, you're like you can't say much really Fair enough. I'll give you the point on that one. Yeah. Yeah, and then and so it's like okay I think it's a smaller group But it's like still we could still have some fun and then the partner of the person who organized all of this started feeling sick.
Oh god With everything going on they just wanted to be careful So they backed out and so it with all of that and then one of the people was coming all the way up from San Diego And so it was just kind of like it just fell. Oh my god. Yeah crash the goddamn your fuck god fucking damn it enigma Right I was really excited like we were all really excited about it. Let's be fair but the owner of the the dungeon was is willing to like kind of let let the girl kind of reschedule So we will have like a second attempt at this later in the year, but okay So they are gonna they are gonna think because it was like a contest yes and somebody won you get a night at this like a free rental Basically right exactly yeah, and you guys were at the end of your time Well, I mean it was very generous and we talked about this it was very generous if that dungeon owner extended the the time of that for you to take it right exactly because I used to get so annoyed yeah You have a contest and and then you know people like don't use it and then at the last day They're like oh I can't use it in the time frame Can we you know can you put your life on hold sometime in the future for me?
And so that was always frustrating for me. I hated that fucking shit, but I'm glad they did it for you God damn knows I would have told you fuck off what Well, you know, it's fine, but yeah, no, so we'll get to have our little shenanigans later in the year, but yeah Well back to the best back to my chair Man, I just feel like I was so rooting for you. I was so like okay Let's you know because you were gonna record last week. Let's just wait Let's just let you get past the party and we'll record next week in that way We'll get to share in your joy because we were all excited for you to have like a little party in your little safe circle And it just didn't well, I mean, you know what it didn't happen outlaw Josie Wales I forget the character's name, but he said Endeavor to persevere amen amen so what we do have though So far first article is called that new hanky code is an actual thing.
Do you know it yet? this comes from the Hornet calm okay, and so this so for anybody doesn't know just a little backstory the hanky code aka flagging was developed in the 60s For a game in and the BDSM people as a way to discreetly signal what they were interested in Different colored hand hanger chips mean different things if you like anal it would be a dark blue hanky And if you wanted to give anal that would be in the left if you wanted to take it that'd be in the right Like pocket back pocket. Yeah, yeah, maybe just were into anything that was an orange hanky and so on this article doesn't have a more extensive code if you want to get really specific with your kink like there are different things like red with white stripes means You're a shaver or red with black stripes means you're a furry bear So if you want to get really specific you can check out that on the website But this a group of people decided to come up with a more specific personalized hanky the person who developed these are also added some For people if they're poly or if they're queer just like having a bit more specificity with their hanky code Right and there are different evolutions of the hanky code But this is something that you can still see today at Swinger party at orgies a lot of a lot of places will have certain wristbands that means certain things like even at doorway We use red yellow green name tags help signify people's interest level to talk into new people So it's like sure if you were wearing a red name tag that said, you know Don't if you don't know me don't approach me. You got a green one It was like hey come up and say hi, whatever So this is just I was just interested to see how the hanky code has evolved over the decades And how it's still being used even if not in the original way it's still being used in this in different communities And how like different communities have kind of adapted this thing what I think's really exciting is obviously It was more nefarious reasons back in the 60s and 70s right people didn't want to lose their jobs They didn't want to you know get persecuted for being gay So they develop kind of like the Christians that were being persecuted which they goddamn well should have been Did I say that like yeah?
I did so they would like that's where the fish symbol came from right like you know You would see someone and you draw the first half of the fish and then the asshole on the side would draw the other half of the fish And then you would go pray together and talk about how people are gonna burn in hell for masturbating now I'm sure there are other symbols in history that people on the down low had to communicate with each other So in a sense, it's kind of interesting to see how that evolved and how each kind of group You know is able to communicate with other people without using words. I always I always enjoy that stuff You know, I love that. What's what's great about this is the Flagging is obviously a lot less. Yeah, cuz it's not needed anymore You can literally walk up to somebody that is a rainbow sticker, which is still kind of a flagging Which by the way shouldn't have taken the rainbow flag.
It's still my peeve. They hijacked that flag I can't put a rainbow flag on my car without having a 60 year old guy start to dry home my leg It annoys me, but they use it give it to them You know, they've been marginalized and persecuted long enough fuck it take the rainbow That was just my bitch. Okay, but but what's excited is you can literally see someone and go have a conversation with them and be like So do you want to fist my ass? No, I like I like having my ass fist.
Okay, that's great to know good for you Go have a donut, you know, you know, it's not as necessary to flag anymore Like you can actually not be as persecuted as as you were in the past So I'm excited to see that the necessity for flagging isn't as strong as it used to be in the 60s and 70s But it is still kind of a cool way like you said they implemented in dungeons in swingers parties or whatever that you can have these nonverbal cues to say this is what I'm interested in or even just back the fuck away from me, right? So I like that because it's it's still a form of communication, but it's just you don't have to go through a bunch of blah blah blah blah Yeah, and I think in a small way like that's still the flagging still kind of happens Like if you see somebody with the with a letter symbol like on their body It's like okay, you're like you're likely to know what they're into without having to talk about it And if you see like the Fed life symbol on somebody's leg pack or on there Whatever like okay, like I know I know what that means right? So like that still kind of happens like we have lagging without even noticing or realizing it these days And so yeah, like you say like it's a lot more open, but like I think people still Use flagging if even if they're not necessarily realizing what they're doing all right So our next article comes from mbg relationships or mindbody green calm and the article is called eight Fascinating things scientists discovered about sex in 2020. We're only gonna hit a few of them So if you're interested in article, please check it out and as always these will be on the website and on our discord So one of the articles is we had people sex drives responding in a variety of ways over the pandemic from people barely having any sex Or masturbating to women reporting earlier in the pandemic that they are having more sex, but it's just not as good I think this I think this can just be related to like people getting like really excited and be like oh We're in our house by ourselves what else we're gonna do But like it just the excitement isn't there and the spontaneity isn't there And I think like people's kind of depression probably had something to do with it which we'll get to in a second Yeah, yeah, I mean that makes perfect sense because you know like Kathy always talks about the hierarchy of needs On the show and it is true when you're stressed about the other things and actually just like you said in the beginning It was like oh, this is gonna be great You know like it's like a little camping trip and we're gonna fool around because we're home and then after a while We realized we're not coming out of these things.
We all thought I mean I was a naysayer in the first few months of the pandemic I'm I was one of those that was like dude the flu kills 50,000 a year. This isn't any different blah blah blah and then the stats all started pouring in and I'm like Alright, I'm an asshole I was just worried because I'm homeless and I don't want everything to shut down But none of us thought this well, maybe people that are in the know but we all kind of thought this was gonna blow over in a few months We literally all thought this was gonna be done by like, you know, maybe May May May and then May turn to June and June turned to July and then we all went we're here This is this is a long-term thing So it makes perfect sense that people were kind of excited and then you know the stir crazy and the worrying about you know Finances and your friends and people getting sick. Yeah, absolutely You're not gonna want to have sex or care nearly as much about it, right? So the next article we saw people that That if your partners are people who like showed appreciation and respect and gratitude for the fact that you know You're both stuck in the same place together or you do think for each other that what sex they did have was a lot better and a lot more Appreciated because like there was that kind of communication and respect between people and I think this goes back to the thing It's kind of a underlying theme of our entire show is that like communication and respect is a big part of relationship And if that's not there then your then your sex life and you're like your your play is not going to be as exciting as you're hoping to work Because you're not as into your partner as you are yourself, right?
And I think that where they used in that in that research gratitude and and it's true. I mean just anecdotally in my own life It's true, you know, when I'm grateful from you like I have those moments, you know, and we've been to six years, you know And so things ebb and flow but when there's moments where I think about How much she has built me up in times where I don't really give two shits whether I'm alive or dead, right? And that kind of gratitude how how how great it is to have someone who's amazing telling me I'm amazing and just you know So much of the things that we've done together There is a sexiness to that because that gratitude comes in and it's like well It's kind of I mean unless you're a serial killer or a sociopath There's kind of an outpouring of that I want to give to them because they've given to me so much You know and there was another one that I don't think we're going to talk about where it's like when you make it, you know You know you do something for me. I do something for you That doesn't work out because it's very transactional But in this when it talks about that appreciation for your partner in just that respect It just makes you more eager to be a part of what they're into as well Right exactly and one of the other things is that a study showed that more and more women over 40 are wanting to keep their sex life active So just because if we have any listeners who are over 40 and you're feeling kind of like it's strange that maybe you want more sex Just know that you're not alone a lot of women are still winning sex and still wanting to get that get that a dick Okay, that we'll see and they need just get out there and get it Now then do you think because we're just you know because we're both scientists here Yes, we are both super scientists here in the church cock here Do you think this is like women are more wanting sex now and they were talking like post menopausal and stuff Which usually happens a little later than 40 in most women Right, but do you think it's that women are now Uh just all of a sudden wanting more sex or do you think they've always wanted more sex But now they're just allowed to fucking say it I I think it's the latter I I think that women are becoming more empowered to say what they want I mean we have movies like the fucking graduate that were about an older woman who still wanted to have sex and wasn't getting a former from her husband and that's that's it's a I think it's a trope for a reason it's because Older women are there their stuff doesn't just stop working Try up and fall out Right exactly and especially as we've developed like better lubes and better toys and better whatever like that It's giving older women and people who maybe they're maybe the plumbing doesn't quite work as well as it used to but they're still wanting to get it Like they can still go and get that that play and have an enjoyable time Uh without the judgment of society, which is like even in the graduate It was kind of a joke So like um the fact that it's becoming it's being taken more seriously.
I think is definitely a thing Um, there's a lot of things I think in specifically in like self-sex culture that were like, oh, this is a new thing It's like no, it's not a thing new thing. You're just looking at it now Yeah, we're just able to talk dust in Hoffman That was early dust in Hoffman like 1960. I don't even know it was like 68 or 69 or something Maybe it was 70 but uh 1967 1967 Simon and Garfunkel soundtrack the whole movie the entire movie was all Simon and Garfunkel songs And they repeated songs because back then I guess they didn't give a fuck you're like fuck it Simon and Garfunkel in the movie Let's do it. Let's do this over and over and it's fine.
It really was kind of a cool movie If you're if you're into old films and classic films The graduate was was definitely up there. I just love tusted Hoffman. He tells such a great story He's a great actor and that story or that movie I should say started like a whole genre of film it was like a sort of like awkward awkward kid coming of age story like I felt like their graduate was definitely kind of a Skyrocketer for that like applying era. Yeah.
Yeah, I agree I agree And then the last thing that we're gonna cover is there was a study that found couples who made dealing with depression a little bit better If they were just talked about their sex and their fantasies that as opposed to acting It's supposed to doing the act to offset the depression So if you're too depressed and you're too Just like in your head to actually do sex and do kind of think even if you just like sit and talk and just like have a No pressure conversation about what you're interested in about what you're into Then that's something that can actually like kind of help break down those those barriers and those doors and maybe get you to a place Where you can start playing again kind of recharge those batteries Which is kind of like we talk about where I say all the time you got to push the mojo Sometimes that doing that because depression is not a need It's an addiction It's a set of chemicals that you get caught in a loop and your brain produces those shitty feeling depressed things and you get kind of attached to them And so you start recreating and retriguing them But they are not an actual Physiological need from birth eating right sleeping fucking those are real your sex drive is an actual physiological need the need to procreate Right. That is that is something so when your body is in depression or anxiety or whatever it literally just shuts down So talking about it runs your mind and body through that scenario Oh, yeah, that's right where sexual beings we procreate, you know, which now we don't have to do the create part We just fucking fuck right so I have always noticed that the more I engage in dirty talk with partners And engage in fantasies or just creative ideas even if we're not going to do them Absolutely. I completely agree with that. I've seen that a billion times in my own life Talk dirty with your partners talk to your other partners and like even if things are feeling sort of stagnant Like that's that's the perfect opportunity to sit down and be like, hey What's something like what point are you looking at?
What what's fantasies I've been floating on in your brain? Let's let's let's work on this Let's do that and like talk about what you're interested in because if you're If you've just been doing the same thing for your entire relationship and you're feeling a little bored Well, that's that doesn't mean that your relationships over that means that maybe your relationship needs to adapt and change So having those conversations is something that's going to Benefit you in the long run as opposed to holding everything in until things suck You gotta kick it up a notch you do so if the kids want to go and find us in places on the interwebs Where would they go? Well, bookie they can find us on instagram at perverted podcast they can find us on twitter at perverted pcast They can find us on fat life. There's whether group and a page and they can go to our website www.pervertedpodcast.com People go high in 97 shows and boogie and I are still the massive train that we were when we first started I don't know why anyone listens to us What are you even saying?
You're supposed to encourage people to listen to the show stop it That is inner monologue shit, Kathy. That is not supposed to be speak out loud stuff Sometimes it just comes out. It comes out every week We're a good show. We're valuable I can't help it.
I'm too honest. I'm just stopping on those old chick eggs Just out of poor little cheap cheap cheap cheap crash crash crash ominous, you know attack warm music in the background No, I'm not mean like that. That's not me. I'm not a buzzer.
All right fine I will get back on track if you'd like to become a supporter of the show visit us on pinhead.com For a podcast consider donating five bucks if you give a fuck and finally people content content content How am I expected to create when I have no freaking content? I'm just talking with you guys right to us if you feel like it at pervertedpodcast at gmail.com And to the lovely people who support us every month whether by listening to the show Pending us out to friends or reaching out into their pockets for the old tabata Chef John would say we thank you for your faith and support glorious gloriously awkward and And multi neurotic ending Kathy The little poem from last week was was much better cuter and articulate But this is how we do it here an amazing show I love when we have just topics turned into topics and Unexpected topics that create good conversation and that is what we are about and no We don't claim to be the most articulate influence and and psychologically knowledgeable people But we do try we do try to be real and we have a real family And I think we make progress in our lives and the support that our listeners give us to keep going is amazing And we will see you next week I want to kiss you so much so much my lips with your coffee stuck But funny, but I'd be so that you're in my world They'd send in doctors from all foreign nations to undo my pucker's stuck They pay perplexes to how lips get stuck just by kissing a girl How could they possibly understand? But they're eager to hug that was perfect Plus would come to report report on the picture of me on the five book black news Talk shows to show them my pucker's stuck E2 kiss you is not a megad It's in such an awkward Antitation creation We are so bad the kiss the idiot's I'm a dick Tucker's stuck too