#298 Vulnerable

I've been trying to let myself be more vulnerable recently, but honestly, it's kind of hardAll my life I've lived so far has taught me not to show my cardsThat the world is out to get me, so I'd better watch my backAnd that anyone not constantly on defence is vulnerable to attackEasier by far not to be involved, better never to begin anythingThrow up every barrier and don't you dare. Let. Anyone. In.Yes it can be draining. But we all manage it somehow.And after years and years of training, I'm good at it by now.This fort has become my home, a habit of its ownSo I sit within relaxed, guarded, and alone.And I don't want to be anymoreAnd I don't know what will happen when I open up my doorsAnd I'm sorry for when I instinctively try to shut in in your facePlease. Please try again. Ignore that I have to brace.I just didn't realise how defensive I'd become.Wondering why that deep friendship wouldn't comeUntil realising that anyone who looked in my directionSimply saw a person with layer after layer of protectionSo, I'm going to tryIt'll be tough. I may question why.If I let people in, sacrifices will have to be made.I've seen many people hurt by others. And scars are a tricky trade.Being vulnerable isn't enough. I know that in my heart.But hey. I'm trying. And that's a start.***https://harryisapoet.blogspot.com/2018/09/vulnerable.html