There's a little cup of tea that Headley calls for capital Happy it's gonna be a great show Kathy Happy they've won the right to hear you and I babble unintelligibly for one Totally doing the muppet curmit the frog when he would be like And the people in drive-through at Starbucks are looking Don't scare them. I'm anytime to tell you. The following show is for mature audiences only. Listener discretion is advised.
And if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself. One, two, three, four! Do you feel your sex life is quite lame? I'm a very bad cat.
Scared that your desires might be strange? I'm a very bad cat. Come and join the Kinky World of Play. I'm a very bad cat.
Woo! Hello and welcome to Preverted Podcasts. We explore the adventures of the Kinky lifestyle, sex, and the very, very fragile human mind. Recording live tonight from two laptops floating somewhere in the Podcast Galaxy.
I'm Kathy. I am Count Boogie and Kathy, let's just hit the ground running. I am in a weird mood. Zencaster is weird and they changed it without much information and now it's all, I don't even know if we're recording really, but we're gonna just go ahead and go for it.
Because Kathy, I'm a little disturbed. I don't know if I can legitimately share this with the Preverted Podcast listeners because it's a little weird. Oh my God, Boogie. I just, you know, my butt hole just puckers up whenever you say shit like that.
Because it's terrifying from my end. Well, Kathy, I just want you to buckle in your cute little pucker butt hole. Okay, I'll pucker it real tight. I'm just gonna say this.
You just suck that butt hole right in. Ah! Kind of like the tight ass you usually are, but now it's just extra. Oh my God, I can't believe you went there.
Extra lemon scented butt pucker for Kathy. You know, I create an environment for my partners that I want them to feel free to explore themselves and, you know, the corruption, but managed corruption. But sometimes I just wonder, have I gone too far? Have I made people feel too comfortable in their exploration?
Because all I know is, Mew screwed a dead guy yesterday. I want to come up with something witty and interesting in response to what you just said, but there's a very frightened part of me, Boogie. Not only did she screw a dead guy, she got a grade for it. Now I know you're kidding.
Well, he gave her a cadaver and then made her rip. You know, it's you gotta rip open the body and stuff and there's all these flaps that are already cut and they said, hey, you need to insert this. Screw into his spine. There we go.
See what I did? Eh? You're supposed to go up with your shock. You weren't supposed to go, oh, yeah.
Yeah, you're supposed to go up. Mew screwed a dead guy. Literally screwed a dead guy. I hope you're happy with yourself, Boogie.
I don't feel that joke went anywhere. And our fucking 13 listeners are not entertained. I'll tell you why. I try, I really try, but I am a poison dwell for you.
I know you too well. There's no way you can surprise me and I try so hard to pretend and go along with it. And sometimes I just can't. Well, I mean, at least you're not like, wow, Boogie.
That's great. Huh? I could do the monotone, Kathy. But she also gave 40 vaccinations to old people for COVID.
Wow, that's nice. Yeah, so she shot me in the arm. She was kind of nervous about that. And I said before she went in, I go, this is a great thing for you.
Don't worry about being nervous because these people are going to be so happy to see you. You could do anything. Like literally you could flick them in the nose, spit in their eye and jab the thing in their crotch and they would thank you. That's right.
I would. These people are so happy to get their fucking COVID vaccinations. And it was so funny because there's a three hour time difference and literally at five in the morning, she texts me and she's like, you know what? You were right.
These people are super grateful to see me. Wow. But she did good. And they said, oh, you're doing this better than my doctor did it.
She got a lot of really nice compliments and people were really happy. So she's getting in there and digging in. Kathy, what did you do this week? I actually just remembered that when you were saying that you were doing the Muppet wave.
I actually did the Muppet wave last weekend while naked in front of created an explorer. That is good stuff. I don't I don't know. He said something that I was excited about.
Like, I don't know, we're going out to dinner or something. I don't know. Food excites me. And then I was naked and he was going to give me permission to get dressed, which usually entails some kind of payment I have to give him.
But you know, we were going to go to one of my favorite places. And so I just put through my hands and the air and started waving them around and up thinking, huh, I'm not the Muppet wave. I'll make it. Hey.
And then he made you suck his dick. Yeah. Well, then there's that of course. It was a weird weekend.
I thought that Sunday by Sunday we hadn't done any kind of kinkiness at all. And I thought, huh, this might be one of those weekends where we don't have any sex that hasn't happened in a while. But then I realized, no, creative explorer would not let an opportunity like that go by for him. I've noticed that the more partners he has, the more ramped up he gets.
You know, where I would think it's the opposite. Like if you only had one partner, and that's the only person you would have in sex with, you would imagine that he would want to do that more often with that one partner. He has I've noticed that for him it's actually opposite, which is why I rejoice when he gets other partners. Because for some weird reason, I get more dick.
Go ahead, go ahead. So anyway, this last weekend it was Sunday but afternoon before I realized, we haven't fucking done yet. This is so weird. And of course, no, he grabbed me and got extra mean and hard and started hitting me even harder.
And I was like, in absolute heaven, I'm not giving more. That actually makes sense to me. Because as I got my medical results back from my blood work, my testosterone is a little bit low, because of sedentary loser non-fucking behavior in the last year. But I did notice that when we were really in the zone and we were playing with a lot of people, that it was more.
It's just like you push the mojo, the mojo creates mojo creates mojo and then your, I guess your body's like in that mating season where you're supposed to do a lot of rrrr, you know, get it all done before the famine starts, which I'm glad I took advantage of because this is the famine. So it makes sense to me. Yeah, in a weird way, it does make sense. So there was hard dicken.
There was some good dicken going on. And I had mentioned a couple of weeks ago, what is this the usual submissive conundrum? How do you tell your dominant that he's, I don't know, that he, you'd like something different from him or something more from him? It's perfectly normal and reasonable.
But when it's a power exchange like that, it can be really weird going, you know, I really wish that you'd spank me harder and maybe pull my hair some more and call me dirty names. You know, do you think you can do that? It kind of takes it out of the power exchange. I mean, do you know what I mean?
I understand it has to happen. It's necessary. I'm not going to stop from doing it. But it is a little weird telling him I would like you to do these things.
I get that. I mean, I totally get that. And it would be great if our partners had psychic intuitions that could kind of read the things. I mean, I'm sure there are sexy, what?
I just realized something. What did you just realize? When you said that, I thought of a fabulous way of making this happen. Do you know?
All right. A power exchange suggestion box. Ah? Yes.
Ah. You good? It's just like literally like you could have it next to your ass or something like you could make like a fanny bag with that little red suggestion box. And you'd be butt naked, but you'd be like, it would have that little slot in the top that you stuff your paper in and a little pencil holder.
And it says kinky suggestions or whatever. And then you're like, sir, check the box. Sir, check the box. And he's like, well, maybe it's time to see what the employees are interested in.
And opens the top. Yeah. I think it's I think I have to make it happen. I need to get a little red box with a little flag on it, maybe.
Put it up. Put it up. Put it up a little mail flag that goes up. There's a suggestion.
That's a perfect idea. OK, I'm going to have to make it happen. I'll send you a picture. I look forward to that goddamn picture.
That is for sure. But it is kind of, you know, it goes in some of the other things that we've talked about where how you present it to your partner is just as important as you presenting the information. And you can. I would say if you're noticing those things we've talked about this before, to do it well before the scene takes place.
That's a good suggestion. Yes. So that way it's not like in the moment you don't feel uncomfortable in the moment. Or you have a list of choices.
Like instead of going, I expect la la la la la la la. You could, you know, you like, because if you give me three choices, then I get to pick one I'm still in charge. You know, this is what I am picking. You've given me the choices that you like, but I'm still picking it.
Right. So there's a little ways to write. I think there's ways to write this. There's definitely ways.
You know what I've been doing while you've been talking? What? Somebody got me a bouquet of flowers, and it's on my desk right now. And in it is an orchid.
And I'm sure you, of all people, Mr. Perverted, are aware how remarkably the orchid resembles a vulva, complete with clitoris and labia and the whole shebang. You mean they're not just popular because the name is cool? Yeah.
Now let me tell you, I'm going to sign your picture. There's actually a picture on my FETlife profile of one, because it was one of the more remarkable ones I've ever seen. But there is literally a little clitoris sticking out. It is unfucking real.
And the whole time you've been talking, my hands just been going over there rubbing a little hard. No. You're jerking off a fucking flower while I'm talking. I can't help it, buddy.
There's something wrong with me. Jesus Christ. Get it. Kathy?
What the fuck? All of a sudden I hear your mouth. Oh my god, you taste like a flower shop. Oh yeah.
Oh my god. If only. Orchids are toxic, I think. Don't give me ideas, buddy.
Break up with that, bitch. She's no good for you, Kathy. She's toxic. You need some real poon.
Pervertedbikesatsitgmail.com. If you are a female with an orchid, that's not toxic, that you can shove in Kathy's face while I talk. Jesus Christ. That I helps you deal with mental workies.
That's good, the logic on the motor. Now we're better protected from a King, Shaming World. Oh, your piece of mind, please know that the author of every post we talk about has specifically granted us permission to do so. This week I have a post from Cooneygunned, which I had to look up, is actually a German name.
Maybe it's her real name? Maybe it isn't. I don't know. But she did write a great post called, Why Donuts Are Not Enough?
Can I just say before we start, I take issue with that. Donuts are always enough. Especially. Yes.
They're not. They're the 18th Christ of distraction. Read the post. She says, one of my favorite quotes is, self-care is creating a life you don't need to escape from.
That's a tall fucking order. And the opposite of how consumerism has hijacked how we view life. Capitalism has packaged and sold self-soothing as self-care. If we engage in some retail therapy, we'll feel better.
There's a solution for your problem. And for 1995, you two can now know the secret. I am unabashedly hedonistic, and I enjoy all the dopa hits I get from fatty food, sugar, love, orgasms. But I also work really hard to unpack my baggage and be a more thoughtful, kinder person every day.
That is really fucking hard sometimes. Self-soothing is cuddling your pet, eating cookies in bed, deserving that petty cure because you had a hard day. These things make you feel better temporarily, but they don't fix the root of the problem. Self-care, on the other hand, is going to therapy and working on your shit, exercising, taking your medications every fucking day, eating healthy, and setting boundaries.
TLBR? Fuck capitalism, work on your shit. Donuts are delicious, but should only be consumed in moderation. Oh my God.
When I saw this, when I saw this, I just, well, because you know I have this horrible relationship with Krispy Kreme Donuts and just watching the sheep wrap around the building to just satiate their pathetic life. Like it's a three-hour wait. It's so cool. They sit in this line and you see the looks on their faces.
So when this post came up, I just wish I could print it out and just go car to car and hand it to them because I am a donut buzzkill apparently. No, the thing that excited me about this, it's a perfect example of doing the work and just faking it through life, which we, I mean, I do most of my life has been faking, daydreaming, satiating, video gaming, porning, masturbating. So much of my life has been spent trying to avoid the work to make me a better person, so I don't have to satiate, like it said in that first line, that when I saw this, it just opened up such a box of both Joy and Sorrow. I had interesting notes today, Kathy.
All righty. You sound like you're in a mood. Because this becomes really existential for me. This is definitely, am I existing for my distraction?
Are my distractions making the lives of others better? Or am I just distracting? Because I'm afraid that I'm not going to achieve the goals I am afraid of, even if I do the work. Like there was all these heavy thoughts.
I get into shit for the perverted podcast listeners, Kathy. This is like literally, this is like dark therapy stuff. You're a good guy. And as I'm going, I'm just like, Jesus fucking hang yourself, Christ.
This is heavy stuff. So before I get into more shit, what do you think about it? Donate a melody, Kathy. Yeah.
Well, I don't, I, of course I understand it and I don't consider myself to be any different. In fact, I'm quite common. I struggle with the two. It's that it's what you want to do versus who you wish you were.
Right. And that has been a lifelong struggle for me. And I've come to the realization that I'm never going to resolve it. And part of one of the good things about the nihilism that creeped up behind me before I realized it was there and then took over is that I have very easily and for my own betterment, let go of that curse I've had my entire life where I thought the end goal has got to be that I become this fabulous human being who lets go of all of that horrible stuff that I consider to be really bad.
I shouldn't be this. I shouldn't procrastinate. I shouldn't be lazy. I shouldn't all kinds of things.
I mean, I don't even go into it. The listeners are probably so sick to death of hearing me talk about all my blah, blah, blah, blah, all the shit that I don't like about myself. And it's not that I don't ever want to be. It's not that I don't want to aspire.
And it's not that I don't aspire. I absolutely will try. I will continue trying. But there is a part of me that has surrendered the fight that if I don't do that, I'm a horrible human being.
So I'm coming from a little bit different place from you, simply because of the place that I am right now in my life, letting go of that fight has caused me to relax more than I've ever been relaxed in my life. And I've started to question why I pushed myself so fucking hard all my life to the point where depression was inevitable. Because I wanted to be up in the clouds and instead I was six feet under. And that view from where I was is enough to make me want to slash my risk.
And that's a bad, bad thing. In this case, letting that stuff go was really good for me. So while I understand this, the dichotomy there of telling yourself, don't you may want the things you want, but don't give into them. For me, I've arrived at a different place in my life.
And I see the struggle. I just try not. I try and be the best person I can without killing myself. I like that.
I absolutely like that. And I don't think we are too far from each other because for me, it's really about the balance. And I think the poster was really talking about the balance. I don't think there's anything wrong with distracting because that's just part of our creative mind entertaining itself.
When we're trying to reduce stress and distractions, video games, taking a bath, going on a hike, eating some crappy food or just eating a good meal, whatever floats your boat, those things reduce stress. And the reduction of that stress helps you step back and look at yourself. It helps you get prepared to do some of that work. I think the problem that the poster is addressing is we've been programmed to just focus on the distraction.
Kind of like, no, it's OK. Just buy your big screen TV and watch Netflix. You don't have to do any work on yourself. Just watch the TV and here eat this double cheeseburger.
And so what's happening is because we've been programmed to so much distraction. And there's so many opportunities for distraction that we have become very unhealthy as a society. You know, obesity, I mean, obesity in the 70s was actually very rare. When I was a kid, there was like maybe two or three fat kids because we didn't have the internet.
We didn't have Netflix. We didn't have big screen TVs every fast food place. You know, fast food was kind of expensive. They didn't have giant dollar bargains and super big gulp this and refillable this and just satiate yourself with more and more and more and do less, less and less in life.
And now we've gotten to this point to where we really are just distractible, donut eating, gossip loving blobs. And that isn't, I mean, I hear what you're saying about, I'm not going to shame myself because I'm never going to live up to whatever potential I set up for myself. I think that's, you know, that goes from person to person. But I think the idea that when I work at being a better person, I'm happier.
All of the stages in my life that I have done the work have led me to another level of happiness that actually satisfies me more like that first line in the posters post. And I think sometimes I get lost and I just say, well, I'm afraid of that work and I'm afraid of the pain I may have and I'm overwhelmed because I can't really find a path. So it's just easier to go ahead and distract. But I stay in that trap of misery because I'm legitimately not happier playing video games and eating crappy food.
I'm not nearly as happy as I have been when I do actual work on myself. That is a, that's a fact in my life. I would never, I would never have had the sexuality that I had had. Had I not gotten sober and gone through all the steps and all the personal inventories and all that hard, ugly work and making amends and forgiving myself and people from my past, all of these different things that I did, I would have never made it into the lifestyle and thus never live the rock star sexuality that I dreamed of my whole life.
What rock star sexuality? Did you just describe yourself that way? That is exactly what I had. Yeah.
That's it. I'm just, you know what? I have no problem saying because that is what I do. The only reason I wanted to be a rock star, Kathy, was for the rock star sexuality.
Of course. So I could have all the women actually be kind of into me or at least want me. That makes sense. That was what we all would want.
But I didn't become a rock star because of whatever self sabotaging this ruin this opportunity, whatever. But regardless of that, I did the work on myself. And because I did the work on myself, I had way more to offer others, which was the reason that I could be a bum fat janitor living in a motor home. And women still wanted to have rock star sex with me because I did do that work.
I did fearlessly step away from my distractions and do some work on myself. So not just I was a better person for me. I was a more compassionate, caring, and empathetic person for my partners. Right.
Well, you know, you're right. You and I are each living our own balance between the two. And I think that's the point of this post is to find the balance that is perfect for you. It's going to be different for everybody.
But balance there must be because if you go too far into one or the other of these sides, I can't imagine having such a great life. If you're too hedonistic and gluttonous and go only for the self-soothing, you're not going to get far in life. You go too far into the other side where you're doing so much self-care that your mind is always on how to better yourself and how to get ahead and improve. It doesn't sound like you're going to have a whole lot of fun doing it, even though it can be very satisfying.
So yeah, great post. And you know what, Boogie? Yes, Kathy. You know what I just did by mistake?
Did you just rub the goddamn orchid clitoris again? I did and it broke off. Oh my God. You killed it.
You killed it. Oh my God. It broke right. Oh, yeah.
I'm a brute. I can't be trusted with anything. Kathy, you can't do hard kink on a delicate flower. Haven't you ever heard the term?
Oh, she's a delicate flower. He's a delicate flower. That name is for a reason, Kathy. You can't punch a delicate flower in the cunt.
That's why I can't have anything nice. Fucking women and their delicate vulva. No, it was a flower, a real woman. You can find a real woman that's also a masochist and she will love you to aggressively rub her cunt.
You know what I miss? I miss. Gmail.com. Get Kathy a cunt.
You know what I miss because of that? No, my Michelle, that's who I want to play with. I miss playing with her. No delightful to play with.
She could take a lot and she was just a lot of fun. I will call her after we finish the show. Leave her alone. I will call her.
Stop being my pain. I will say, my Michelle, God damn it. Kathy needs your vagina. That's what I'm going to do.
She's to the point where she's reppin' organs. Literally. Kathy, I worry about you. Like, you're literally mourning the death of a flower that you aggressively rub because you're so fucking sexually, vaginally repressed.
I don't know what's more disturbing that I was rubbing it or that I rubbed it off. She's perverted mailbox. All right, I have a couple of emails here. And they're very interesting to me because these are people who wrote in after we discussed their emails on the show.
Do you remember we talked not that long ago with someone who was in a poly relationship with three other people and she had a very high sex drive and all of a sudden sex drive of all her partners tanked and they kind of tried to put it on her and say, well, must be something wrong with you. Right. Yes, I do. That was just a couple of weeks ago.
Right. Well, this person wrote us and said, hello, Boogie and Kathy. First of all, I apologize for any dictation typos. I am blind.
I'm not broken and I'm having to dictate dictate this message to you both. Let me just interrupt your boogie and say, did you read that the way I did? Like she said, oh, I'm just blind without my or something or is she really blind? I think she's really blind.
I think I talked to her before. I think she's visually impaired. At that point, I'm like, you know what? Go ahead with the typos.
You're okay. I was like, I'm dismissive going, no, just get your glasses, girl. Then I thought, oh, fuck, maybe I'm being told me and says it because she really is blind. I'm such a fucking idiot.
What's even funnier than that? Kathy is I'm like, I don't know how to fucking spell anyway. That's so true. So she says you recently did an early release for patrons of episode 295 titled value your sex and you read my letter for the polyadvis session.
I truly appreciate it. Kathy did a wonderful job reading. I could not have read it better myself. I literally cried rivers when I heard you two discussing my letter.
It was a relief to be heard and validated. I'm so relieved that I don't have to be ashamed for having a high sex drive. Thank you so much for freeing me. So normally, here's why I would end it, but she actually wrote to us twice.
I'm going to copy and paste over here and tell you the most interesting outcome that happened. She says my one partner I played the episode for was disgruntled. And then and then just in agreement with your comments. I think you were spot on.
I have spoken with all of my partners and this slowdown in sex all happened since COVID started. It's actually nothing to do with me, even though it definitely affects me sexually. They're stressed out. And when this happens to any of my partners, they're sex drive tanks, which I understand it's a normal response.
Of course, if I get stressed, I just want to fuck it away. But love to you all. And then thank you for helping me feel heard. Isn't that fucking amazing?
Kathy. Yes. We can help people. We piss people off.
We help people. We piss people off a couple of people left. It's a good gig. But she was thinking it was all her and it turns out it's them.
They're just going through stress with the pandemic and you know, your mind is elsewhere. But I'm so proud of her for not only having the conversation, but having the nerve and the guts to say, listen to the fucking podcast, motherfuckers. This is what you're doing to me. You're driving me crazy.
People do that though. I've had that a number of times where where people send me and in some sense, it's good. But in some sense, I don't want to be used as like the heavy like, oh, I'll get pervert a podcast to talk about you. Because people have done that.
They're like, you know, this problem in the dungeon happened. And I'm like, I'm not talking about that. I have no fucking clue what this situation is about. And basically they're pissed at somebody because somebody they felt wronged them.
And then now they're trying to get us to talk about it. And I'm like, I ain't touching that shit. I don't know what the flex going on. I don't know the other side of the story or whatever.
But in some senses, it is very validating to feel that you have support. Maybe, I mean, because obviously you and I are so goddamn, you know, we are the gods of all that is, you know, BDSM lifestyle. Why? Why you got a lie to the listeners like that?
Well, I don't think they really believed it. So, but it is important to say, hey, I have support in this. I don't think I'm crazy if it gets to that point to where you're kind of, you're frustrated and you don't know how to express yourself as well. Right.
It's good. I mean, I remember on more than one occasion, I have mediated fights between people. And I mean, there's a whole line of therapy that does that. And they just, it's called marriage counseling.
And, you know, they just sit and you guys yell at each other. And then, you know, the person just says, hey, let's get to the feelings and try to get away from the revenge. And, you know, and let's just, you know, you have a pain and you have a pain. And sometimes that's really important because you're so wrapped up in all that emotion that sometimes it's really helpful to have an outside objective person, kind of, I mean, not a lot of people want that job.
That's why you have to go to a therapist for it because it can get ugly. But it is good to have someone there going, Hey, you guys, you know, go to your neutral corners. This is an unboxing match. If we're sitting here, we're trying to communicate and actually solve something.
So go in other rooms, go beat your pillow and scream into it. And then when we come back out here, let's, let's try to get down to some work. Right. Well, I'm, I couldn't be happy about that.
That's the kind of outcome I love seeing. So thank, I thank you for writing to us and letting us know. So if I get closure, this is purely selfish. I want closure after reading some of this stuff.
Case in point, Boogie. I've got a second one if we have time. I do. Do you remember that we also wrote someone read someone else's email about her friend, King shaming her because she was saying that little's play is the little's one.
Yeah, that was also recent. Yes. And I'm pretty much traumatized her. So she says, I super appreciate your encouragement and support.
I hope you and Kathy know how much it means to all of us listeners knowing that we can reach out and get opinions, perspective and support from you guys. P.P. is the best. I did talk to my Papa about what happened when he got home that day.
I was still all mixed up over it. So as soon as I started telling him, I cried. It felt good to let out the hurt. I was trying to hide.
And of course, being the absolute most bestest, he held me and he said that we don't care what other people think of us, especially people that don't know what they're talking about. So thank you guys for the wonderful advice you shared on the show. It was nice to feel heard and understood. And it was hilarious hearing Kathy get rabbit on a bitch.
You are a friggin pit ball and Boogie can't wait to hear the new podcast. Love you guys endlessly. Now, believe it or not, even though she just gave us an update, she's also somebody who sent us a second update that I'm actually going to spend time on because Boogie is fucking fabulous. I love it.
And I think you're going to love it. She says, last night I got brave and I confronted my friend on her icky comments. We were having a discussion about gender identity and queerness, which led into a bunch of topics. So I seized the moment and with tears rolling down my cheeks, explained how much her comments hurt me.
I couldn't have asked for a better reaction from her. She also with tears running down her cheeks, apologized endlessly, acknowledged that she had no place to comment on something she knows nothing about and admitted that she knew it was wrong in the moment. I got to explain a little bit about DDLG and she listened and grasped it with an open mind. I was so terrified to approach this topic, but I'm so happy that I did.
I now feel accepted, validated and free and there's no way I would have been brave enough to do this without the advice and encouragement that you both provided me with. Please know that PP really makes a difference in people's lives. Thanks to you and everyone who participates in the podcast. PP forever, she says, Are you telling me I can't kill myself now?
Jesus Christ. But that email alone means you can never kill yourself. Goddamn it. Isn't that just that she also found the courage to confront her friend?
It doesn't. Okay, now then, because yay, amazing. That's why we're here. That's what we're doing.
That's our commitment to the listeners to hopefully build that strength in them that they either can talk to people and communicate better or deal with the bad response if it doesn't go well. Either way, because these are two examples of when it goes good. But we both know we don't want to pump up the listeners expectations and go, Kathy and Boogie talk about it. I get pumped up.
I confront my friend. Everything is happy. That's like movie montage shit. And it doesn't always work out.
I'm glad it did. I don't think we're pumping up or even have the ability to do that to our listeners because we talk about so many things that go wrong that a few scatterings of happy endings aren't going to pump anybody up. And secondly, I remember on the show that you were pretty insistent that it might be very, very healthy for her to discuss this with her friend. And I remember that I said, fuck her friend, why even go into that?
I put yourself out there, just write this off and realize that you're never going to be able to open that part of your life to your friend and move on. And you were like, no, because you can't go through life with a friend that's close to you and not confront this. How is that going to play out? So she ended up, I think, taking your advice and trying it.
And I think that she was perfectly aware that it might not go well. Well, I am and I still am like this, no matter how it turns out, I'm either going to realize that I never have to send you a Christmas card again, or we're going to fix this goddamn thing. But either way, I want that answer because I'm not trash. And if I have someone that thinks I'm trash or my kink is trash, or what I do, then I need to not be in that situation.
But I do want to say it does sometimes go bad. And that's a whole different thing that you have to do is now deal with the aftermath of maybe I can't be in this type of friendship with this person. Oh, yeah. You'll absolutely have to be prepared for things not going your way.
I don't know that anybody who hasn't already been figuratively slapped in the face like that by a hurtful comment from a friend who thinks that they're going to go into a confrontation with them, however benign, and that is going to come out okay. I think most people think, I have to have this fucking conversation, but I already know where it's going to go. I just fucking brave yourself because you're about to lose a friend here. I mean, honestly, I am a seeker of truth just like you are.
And I will, I want that truth no matter how much it hurts. So I've always been someone who's prepared for that, but you're right. Most people aren't prepared for that. They do want the happy ending with rainbows.
And don't get me wrong. I fucking love rainbows. I would love happy endings all the time, but they just don't happen. And I console myself knowing that at least I got the truth.
And you know what, Kathy, you and I together in these two instances, Dolphin Roach. Dolphin Roach, Totally Help, Dolphin Roach, Save of the World. How you hell. And you know what, I actually have a special glitter pen that I use to crass up person at my Christmas card list.
They are gone, motherfucker. You no longer get anything from me. You know, it's kind of almost for being a cheap person like I am. You know, it's actually, I kind of seek out those relationships ending.
So I'm like, I don't have to do shit. I don't know how I just like that. Save another 20, 20 bucks right there. Like you do anyway.
No more plushies for you, Missy. Oh, no. Oh, don't bring it down again. Plushy.
I will buy you a plushy pumpkin. No, I no longer have plushies because of that. I am a plushy less person. I have extricated the plushies for my life.
Oh, I will say that my ex-girlfriend Rain sent me a rainbow zebra rainbow colored peep. Right. I've seen that. Yes.
I don't know what I'm going to do with it. It just kind of sits there, but I don't really have any sentimental feelings. Because I took that part of me out into the backyard and I crushed it to death and ran over it with a bulldozer and left it bleeding there. And I still have an open wound and I'm being very emo.
That's, you know, you know, you know this about me, boogie. But in case the listeners haven't realized yet, that is how I deal with pain and trauma in my life is I make absolutely inappropriate humor about it. And then I throw down the mic and walk away. Well, I think that's what this whole show is.
That show, the tragic dealing of humor. And that's why we now get to end the show laughing and smiling. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Thank you for joining this show. $2.99. If you'd like to become a part of this magical carpet right of insanity, visit us at patreon.com for with such perverted podcasts and consider donating five bucks if you give a fuck so that boogie and I can continue having this wonderfully lotish lifestyle. And just breaking orchids every five minutes.
Get Kathy orchids that she can just rub and mutilate. But if you feel like telling us what's on your mind right to us at pervertedpodcast.gmail.com, you guys have no idea how much I adore seeing emails from you or you can swing by our profile and fit life.com appropriately called perverted podcast. We give and we give Kathy because we love we love and that's why we're here. You give to flowers.
I only wish did it drip a little bit when you broke it. No drippage I wish it had. Oh my God, a squirting toxic orchid orgasm would have made your life so pure. Say that six times.
I didn't even know what the fuck I said the first time. Kathy, I'm actually a little bit nervous. We're wrapping up show 299 and I'm actually so paranoid about, you know, because we've never missed a show. It's been uploaded every week, 299 weeks in a row.
No vacation death sickness, strep throat hospitalization, all sorts of drama. We've always had that show. I'm so paranoid because for some reason I have in my head that show 300 is like after that if we fucking something has a car accident or something or dies, then it's okay. But we've got to make it to 300.
I'm so paranoid that after this show, Kathy, can we just record like 20 seconds of something and then I'll send it to you and then if I die, you can put it up at the right time. So that at least we've hit 300 is like a mini thing and I'll be like, yeah, we'll be like, yeah, and then I'll put a song at the end of the day. It'll be official. Oh my God.
Okay, but if we don't use it, if we do end up going to 300, we have to take that little mini show and put it in a time capsule. So 100 years from now, people will unearth it and go, huh, perverted podcast. I have to find out what this is all about. Yeah, that's exactly what the alien robots are going to be doing, Kathy.
And then in our time capsule, can you take the orchid that you murdered because you aggressively over-sexualized it and press that between two pages? You have to press that flower, Kathy. You're making me cry now. It's so sad.
Kathy, you have to press the giant flower. Get a book. You got ten of them. Wow.
Well, God damn it then. We're going to get on with our silly little lives. You guys have a great week and we will see you next week for show three, zero zero. I was once an astronaut.
I spoke ten tongues in Babylon. I invented anal sex and apple pie. I climbed out Everest with no shoes. Tawnry the Franklyph, sing the blues, discovered a cure for the clap and found golden goose.
Someone's got to be the hero of the world. So I had better shut up you facts to make the sale. The truth or a lie just tells good stories till you die because the world's boring place without all tales. I was almost captured by a picnic tribe, ten boys and darts in my side.
A talking giraffe nursed my wounds and saved my life. A life-practice magic in the kingdom of elves. I built gates to the firewell and convinced Hitler it would probably be best if he killed himself. You're welcome.
Someone's got to be the hero of the world. So I had better shut you facts to make the sale. The truth or a lie just tells good stories till you die because the world's boring place without all tales. I was on a spaceship.
I explored the galaxy. Made friends with all the A.B. But I just want you to know, they never experimented on me. They did it.
Right. Stop it. What? What?
You seven weren't going to talk about this. I can say anything. It's a hundred assholes. I bought the devil down in hell.
One's got swallowed by a whale. A wonderful way to travel except for the smell. I'm talking to you about her. I have a blowjob.
Savy Earth and a meteor. An invented Internet. Which I sometimes regret. Someone's got to be the hero of the world.
So I can tell his shut me facts. The truth or a lie just tells good stories till you die because the world's boring place without all tales. Big fish. Talk to you.