The following podcast contains spoilers. Yes, we're talking spoilers, folks. So listeners, you've been warned. If you don't want anything ruined about the newest movies that have just recently come out, then maybe wait until you've seen it then come back.
That being said, enjoy the show. They did the mash. They did the mornsto mash. It was a graveyard smash.
And we're back, episode three. Armchair reviews, James and Chris. What's going on guys? Thanks for tuning in this week.
We're off to a good start. James, I'm happy to say we're officially on iTunes. On iTunes, guys, check us out. Pretty big deal.
Pretty much made it. Yeah, we're big time now. We're big time in it. We're not stopping anytime soon, folks.
And you can search that in iTunes now. Just simply armchair reviews. We'll have our first two episodes up. This one will be up within about a week or so.
Probably have it out on Monday. It depends on Monday, Tuesday, next week. I think it's an arm'll turn around for us. Depends on how motivated I feel like this week.
How much we screw up. How much effort I have to go into editing this bullshit. I'm actually going to be going to Ottawa next week. So next week, episode will be postponed.
But good thing, because there's absolutely fucking nothing coming up next week, I checked. Yeah, so we'll have a break next week. And we'll come back. Yeah, yeah.
Because I think the following week after that, the always, I don't know what to say entertaining, but it's always something. Michael Bay's fifth crack in Transformers movie last night. Sweet Jesus. Yeah, so we go back and stop at one.
Oh, yeah. Shire for everybody. Just do it. But we'll get back to that in the last night.
That'll be next show, so in two weeks time. But this week, we previewed it last week on our Wonder Woman episode. The money. The money.
2017's the money. featuring Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise, our boy Maverick. Oh boy.
He's back. He's Tom Cruiseier than ever, isn't he? Yeah, he's Tom Cruise, that's for sure. I'm not a big Tom Cruise fan.
Yeah, I always give him a fighter's chance. Yeah, I give him a benefit. He's been in a lot of good movies. Yeah, also been in a lot of bullshit too.
A lot of bad movies. I would say probably more good than bad, even though I'm not a Tom Cruise fan. I'd have to agree. I'd have to agree.
He's got some flick of movies. He always has a good, he's big names. So he's got a good group. Director's producers, right?
He's around him? Yeah, most of the time. Except for anyone that was involved in Jack Reacher too. Yeah, I skipped that one.
Probably for the best. Yeah, it just did not do well. I was watching it and it was reminiscent of a fucking Steven Seagal movie. It was so bad.
Steven Seagal movie. I'm not even sure. Oh, I'm in action. Not anymore.
It was so bad. It was just the King of Umbra. Do you back today? He's yellow glasses.
What was he fucking bottle? Maybe I don't know. But getting back to the mummy. Yeah, back to the mummy.
This is the fourth mummy in less than 20 years. Less than obviously the first one that was, I guess you want to see big, not Brendan Frigio one, but the one before that was 1932, believe it or not. That was with Boris Karlov. I think that's his name.
Boris Karlov. Karlov. That's actually anyone who knows who that is. I bet you there's a therapy that know him.
He was the original Frankenstein monster. He also appeared in Brida Frankenstein in 1932. He was the original emotep. And actually if you look at some of the Google images of that character, a makeup isn't too bad to be completely honest with you.
I've seen better makeup in those images than some of the recent shit that's been the years and the past couple of years. Yeah, well, practical. Yeah, that's a thing. I was just going to say that now with all the technology you can make up for a half-ass makeup job with a couple clicks of a button here.
And there you go editing. See, check this out. Look at that shit. Yeah, that's awesome.
We just pulled it up here on our Best Black Top. That's scary. He looks menacing. He had black and white guys right there.
He's like, those eyes are haunting. Do your son favor and just search the mummy 1932. Oh, he actually looks like Uncle Fest here from the Earth. I didn't say anything.
Apparently, yeah. But even creepier because his flesh is falling apart. So yeah, that's how the makeup job goes. But yeah, so for us forwarding to 1999, we got the remake of the really missed it.
Really missed it. Like those movies, I watched them recently. I watched the first two recently, the mummy 1999 and then the mummy returns in 2001. And those movies, they have their moments of just such charm.
They're so they are bad. They're not good, but they're not bad either, because they know what they are. They're really kind of tongue-in-cheek. And it's goofy, but it's meant to be goopy.
Yeah, I think they kind of own it. And they do a good job of owning it. I was talking to the boys at work about the first one, because they were all kind of asking, oh, how was the money that we saw last night? And I was like, oh, doesn't really swear up to the old ones.
And we were also in that prime age. We were like nine, ten-ish when the first one, they were not the first one with the Brendan Fraser mummy came out. So that stuff was fascinating. And when it did come out, it was an action movie, a fantasy action.
But some of those scenes when you're nine-year-old, it was kind of fucking creepy. It was. But looking back at it now, it always doesn't hold up, for example, those Beatles? The Beatles?
Holy shit. Did you ever go to Universal Studios? Not the Island of Venture. The one in LA.
No, I went there when I was 13. So it was only a couple years after this came out. And part of their tour ride is you go through a bunch of their main, like the big hot-shot movies. And you're kind of on a bus or whatever, like a train.
And you go into the mummy, like into a tomb, and the wall starts to spin. And then Beatles are climbing up the walls. It was so cool. I remember being so amazed.
It was so awesome. It was 13. And I was like, I was going away. Those are so cool.
And they're so brutal too. Yeah. I remember them. They're scary.
I think they're very alive. Like the punishment for murdering whoever the fucking person would be. He gets mummified and very alive. And then not only that, but he's dumped a bucket of these, these needles onto it.
It's horrifying. I'm a bit of a fatty. But he's called Scarab's. Scarab's.
That's our Scarab Beatles. And then our little pudgy friend there gets one after he's looting in the tomb. And it runs straight into the wall, because it's popping out of his head and chases like that. You look at it.
Now I watched it before last month, I think. So bad. Yeah. So I go back then.
I really tried to watch the first one before. I went and watched the new one, but I just ran out of time. Yeah. I mean, I'll probably still go try and watch it again.
I would recommend the first one. I watched the first one. I watched one of your interns as well. And there are some scenes in that, which are again, like goofy.
They have the flying ship, potty, or balloon, that has knots in it, which is kind of silly. If you remember that, they're flying with the cannons. And also the mummified pygmies. And they have the Jurassic Park or Jurassic World, or the second one.
Lost world Jurassic Park. And they have the flosser raps, scenes, and they're cutting through the grass. They have that similar scene in the mummified pygmies. And that was awesome.
I got to have all that. That's such a good scene. But also, even though this one had Brendan Fraser, the third one, it was the Mummy Tomb and the Dragon Emperor. Yeah.
It just falls off entirely. They replaced Rachel Lace, who plays Evelyn, who's Brendan Fraser, who's a fan of Brendan Fraser, who's a fan of Rick O'Connell's wife. She's nowhere to be seen in the kid that's in it. He's all grown up now.
He's kind of useless. He's a master. Yeah. Jack Hann is all the way through it.
The movie might have killed Brendan Fraser's career. He was another step, too. I know he was in GI Joe. There's a crazy fan theory that was character from GI Joe.
Is relative to Rick O'Connell. As a crazy fan theory on the internet, it's obviously not true. I don't think about it. It's fun to think about.
Some fan theories are very creative to say that you see. Yeah, absolutely. But especially when they jump from different movie lines to another movie line. Yeah, I don't like that.
I don't like that. Yeah, sure. We'll get into that all over the brief, like, girl. It's really a mummy movie.
So you know your basics going into it. You know that. There has to be some sort of rejuvenation of sorts. There's going to be a mummy that comes back to life.
That's going to try to bring something else back to life. And that's something else is going to try to take over the clock for more. Yeah, it's bad news. But essentially here, we have a couple of beginnings.
You see the start of Sophie Vitale's title character, the mummy cheese. What's your name? Aminex. Aminex.
Aminex. I would say Amorex. Aminex. I always want to say, octummonon.
Over the GBS, is octummonon. That name is Horblum. She's going to be Gregory. Gregory.
So yeah, she's trying to do, I guess, let's back back a little bit here. She's the daughter. She's the princess of the sun Pharaoh. She's next in line to become the queen of Egypt, I guess.
Because her mother died. Her mother died in childbirth. And so, and then all of a sudden her daddy gets on the back up. And she's brought to a son, Amorex.
And obviously the son. Aminex. The male always has the heir over the female. So Gregory, Aminex is piss.
And she goes on a murder spree. Because she wants to make the deal with devil. Oh yeah. She gives, before she does that, she makes the deal with sets.
Because the Egyptian god of death, they kind of explain that. They were for devil. Yeah. Well, it comes to modern day London.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's all the same. So she gets the steel to get these powers. You get the dark powers and stuff like that.
And so she kills her father, kills baby mama, actually just murders the baby straight up. And then obviously she gets copper crimes. And she's wild. She's going to sacrifice just around you.
They never really say. It's kind of like a lover, but she's going to kill him. Her sacrifice has him. And then set is going to come back at his body and his body.
And he has a paternal. He's going to rise and rule. And she's going to be queen. And they're going to rule together.
And it's going to be the kind of happens to have a turn like that. She got stopped mid ritual. I guess you want to call it. And it's the usual thing.
Egyptian fiber. They kind of know where. They just battle. What's she going to do?
What's she going to do? Shoulder with like spears? Yeah, they get to have blow darts. Yeah.
She gets blow darted in the neck like three or four times. And then they tie her up. And boom. She's a mummy.
The usual gist where she gets put in this unbreakable tomb. And actually drag her to the middle of nowhere. Bar weight. And she turns out to be Iraq.
That's correct. So yeah, she can't get out. There's all these contraptions to keep her safe in there or from escaping. Flash forward.
It's pretty cool. It's not bad. I don't really recall the one in the brain of Raison. I wish I did so I could compare.
It's Hamanatra. It's pretty like a series of titles. And underground passes doing stuff like that. And the other one in the room.
This one just pieces here and there. The pieces of jewelry. It's important to note too we've read the sacrificial knife. It's some secret blade.
And it's a blade and it's pretty much a philosopher's stone. Yeah, it looks like a ruby slash in a philosopher's stone. And it's a giant ruby placed at the end of it. Yeah, the hand of the blade and those two together can bring back set.
So what ends up happening is those two I don't get separated by the next Templar. Yeah, and one gets put in some church like the knife. And then the. Yeah, it's in a statue.
The 9th Templar used to hide. Not just. I canwhy sort of treasure again. in these little statues and these place them in the import-bices churches of the buildings and where was the Ruby hidden the Ruby was With one of the Knights Templar.
Oh, that's right. Yeah You see a huge two of the first human London for 11 nights 11 28. I think that's at the beginning as well Yeah, and then again, it's introducing a one-day and then if last four is London You see a team of they're making a tunnel for a subway and they end up finding it from across it And then again it flash works another beginning like there's all the beginning like so many beginnings There's a lot of stuff going on kind of it's almost like three different storylines and then boom stuff. I've got all tied together Eventually, well, I mean doesn't take long.
It's a pretty short movie. I know but they throw a lot at you Actually, it's about two hours on or something like that Well, I'm 100 points. Yeah, and it jumps back. It jumps to our hero.
We mentioned earlier Tom Bruce and his chronic relief Oh, Jake Johnson. Yeah, he's a funny guy. He is I'll get back to him a second here But these two there there are these soldiers I don't know if you want to call them soldiers a fortune because They're in the military. I don't know if they're mercenaries for say but they're going around in there They're going these missions and while they're on these missions They're trying to pick up artifacts as they can sell on a black market Make extra she's and they're looking for this place.
He's be stolen a map and just Him and my there's scout recon or something like that for the army. I can't remember what rank they give him the reaction Is you say drink? I think so. Yeah, I can remember but him and him and Jake Johnson They have a piece of chemistry chemistry, but Jake Johnson He's just he's as soon as he opens his mouth a very person on you like yeah, there's dudes here But he has nothing else for this movie.
He's I really like it. He's really good He's from he's been a new girl. Obviously for it as long as I was going on. Yeah, what else is he in?
Actually, a really good movie is drinking buddies in the living a while now. I live you well. I live you well. Yeah in 2013 And you actually see a little more rather than him being asshole or jackass or funny guy.
He actually has an acting chops And he's in this one. He's he's just Jake Johnson. He's not a character. He's just Jake Johnson and he's plopped throughout We'll get back to it later on just for just for kind of being there and can be and it matches together with this movie Didn't really know what it wanted to be.
Yeah, we'll get to that all time But yeah, he's fine, but so Tom Cruise and Jake Johnson. I don't really give shit about the names are I think Tom Cruise Nick Morton and Jake Johnson is Fail or something that Chris Bail. They just found it a little time. Yeah, just fail and yeah, so Nick Morton and they actually They end up getting shot on fire missile comms boom.
They find it to most of it to that find it to him and Superior's get pissed at him for going out. They call it an air strike share strike and all that kind of stuff Yeah, and then you get this introduction to animal analysis character Jenny Halsey and she's she's been a couple things most normally recently. She's been in the Annabelle movie She's recently in King Arthur as well with what's the space is? Guy Ritchie's She's not in a very often very much but she's she's on the up and up and coming she's actually she's decent this movie She's like they obviously try to force a relationship with Tom Cruise and her.
Yeah, and every force It doesn't come as naturally as right of his own racial But they actually had really be chemistry in those movies which is a highlight in those movies because he's like a scally way again She's like the princess type thing, but she has some spunk to her to and there's nothing like that I mean, Tom Cruise is just an asshole in this movie He's just a douche, you know, and she's just she's an archaeologist, but she's not like the worst archaeologist Yeah, they bring the mummy out of the tomb. I just can help help kind of think like they're doing everything wrong archaeological big You know, yeah, they're just they're the sarcophagus. It's going every which way they're dragging on the ground I'm just learning on the airplane. Yeah, so they pull it out of the tomb essentially with a helicopter Yeah, and they fly to an air strip and then just drop it on the ground and then they get like a group of fucking soldiers Just let's just push this thing into an aircraft a lot of people Like oh my god, we do this now.
There's an old life's work. They're like hurry up. Let's go Yeah, see if it gets your whole life's work You're gonna take your time with that and you're gonna get a whole team in especially when it's this it's an Egyptian archaeological dig that you just discovered it in In a wrap in a wrap like get the troops in there. You know, it should be a huge deal It should be a huge deal especially by the start of the guests like and it's supposed to be a really bad person There's some treasure and shit in there like this can go in there.
It's super rushed But I mean it also has to be they try to thin it a lot because as we mentioned last week times I briefly that this movie is trying to set up a universal dark universe. Yeah, so that's gonna be all reboot it I'll come back to that later on as well to see where this movie is gonna fit and if it's a decent enough start point for it I'm kind of jumping back here The money kind of goes all over the place the curse releases because Tom Cruise is an idiot any releases the money And how are we gonna get this thing out here? They're gonna shoot shoot the rope in a chamber with three people and Rick Shays everywhere. Yeah, that's fine No, it is doesn't reach everywhere.
It's what after he shoots the rope releases the money spiders Can't let spiders can't let spiders start coming everywhere one bites of ale and then he starts shooting at the spiders And that's ricocheting around almost hitting everyone. Yeah, yeah Then obviously, you know Tom Cruise starts having visions of Sophia Nutella She's like, oh you breed me and now you're my boy. I'm coming for you. You're the chosen one Yeah, I'm gonna use you a sacrifice to set set free So I'm like chosen ones.
There's a chosen one in like every second movie everyone that shows them on Yeah, at this point. It's like what did the incredible way say incredible? It's when everyone's super no one And that's exactly what this movie is pretty much One cool thing actually that leads when a free it is one of the best scenes in the movie I think is you see them in the trailers the airplane when the airplane starts crashing and that was a real stunt Obviously, Tonkruz is a psychopath and wants to do all his stunts in real life So they're in a zero G plane so they're going up and down and so really actually dropping in a plane and that's what I'm doing All the scenes so that's that's real. That's not that's that's him He's a maniac.
He loves doing that shit. You obviously all that kind of stuff in like a mission of also movies. Yeah He loves doing stuff right up those on shit. Yeah, but very cool very cool plane plane scene Yeah, it's really interesting guys guys back.
He's a money. He's just kind of like he's like more of a ghoul I get go with you. Yeah, I'm a Mommy kind of a I'm gonna be almost but I'm gonna play in some dale see him Yes, yeah, that's true because that's his physical body comes back He starts trying to cut open cut the straps off of the sarcophagus sarcophagus to let out amarept And so it's like their commander wherever he starts. He's also on a stop He starts freaking out and he's like wait, what are you gonna stop and then be able to fucking lights him up with a knife Yeah, three times for the chasm and then Who else on it is Nick Jennifer and two other brother?
Smells are you doing the military dudes? Yeah? He starts coming at them that tonkers heads up shooting twice. He finally puts him down and then shoots him a third time No trigger this one.
Yeah, he's a whoop my bad. That's your best friend. You're boy fucking pop them Don't have and actually one so they end up they end up crashing in somewhere in England and actually it's meant to be Crash there because that's where you find or the money comes to light a knife. It finds a knife the knife is a crash outside of church Yeah, this is actually another good scene where they kind of over do it later on the movie where she there's cops Desecting the crime scene and stuff like that and they come across the body And then they do the thing No, they're very He gets the life sucked out of him not a good kind either he gets blashed his face latched onto it And the two of them actually get that happening which same kind of thing that that you know Tep does in the money and money returns to that was actually one of the good things now, too Which I've done better in this one.
Yeah, it's very cool kind of she sucks a life out of humans to kind of regenerate get her I got strength or where she has a form her for skin comes back slowly. Yeah, it's pretty cool Anyways, and then I think it's a wicked body or where they're all like cracking and snapping into places like that They all agree with them. Yeah, she's just getting up. This is like her first time kind of having life again Yeah, and then they pop up and start falling her in the ads and they're kind of like very weird mummies Yeah, let me use the zombies are very similar.
No, it's someone that's regard because they look the same But yeah, they're not even brain so they're debating of Just like minions almost I mean not like the other minions, but you know, so this leads us to the Tom Cruise a you get kind of caught up by this by the the mummy and she's straddling about to sacrifice after she gets a night It's almost awkward scene like Annabelle wallet wallet character Jenny comes in and she's I mean about the stab Tom Cruise actually just like made out this chest and it really awkward And it's kind of like and all of a sudden like tell him who's in looks over and it's just Jenny sitting there He's like Walked in on this awkward scene. Yeah, and it's just so awkward because they all like snap over to lap to see who's in the room She's kind of just frozen with you but it's so awkward Like what it's so dumb. Look if you guys see this you'll know exactly what I mean And he sounds so for his gumpy in that I think that's it on purpose But I don't know man, it was so dumb and like you get like the classic they're fighting zone I'm saying fucking zombies here. They're keeping their money and they're falling into pieces Which again cool in small doses.
Yeah, but if you overdo it too much then it starts that starts falling apart Yeah, but yeah, just punches in the face kind of cool and then he has it or by four something Kind of like a brainer for you did to the end of me. Yeah, there's a fast forward a little bit here I'm you know finding that Jenny works for this company called prodigium They've been following monsters and evil and kind of monster hunters kind of like the Ben Helsing's but you don't actually hear that You know Ben Helsing it does exist in this universe. Yes, you get introduced there like they're trying to track this down They're trying to track the night down trying to get to her dissect the money pretty much They want to do some research on her all kind of research learn better killer and also Jenny's gonna try to help Tom Cruise We're being cursed because he dies in that plane crash. Yeah, we try to mention He doesn't play guys like from the money because she is the chosen one remember he gives Jenny to only parachute so cute Oh, it's part of the really forced want to be a relationship that is the whole movie and then you meet Russell Crowe Russell Crowe pop Pops up in here, and he's the literary favorites doctor checkle and mr.
Hi. Yeah, he's introduced obviously as dr. Jekyll and he's actually I really like this character because I feel like he has some experience playing a duplicitous asshole because of his reaching alcoholism Allegedly Yes, allegedly, yeah because you know, we all issues he was he have you seen him in the nice guys run gossum He's really good that's nice. It's a funny Shane black directed crime comedy kind of He's a crime-gossling as it has a good relationship in there It's actually pretty good So check that out if you want to he's he's good man And then this is pretty good as dr.
Jekyll what I thought was kind of kind of stupid for this character though is you can kind of see Him when he's talking Tom Cruise explaining what companies what I think it's called for Digium for Digium for Digimon Digimon Digimon Yeah, something like that and he yeah, well, he's explaining to Tom Cruise This is what we're doing Evil sometimes overcomes good Turn into the hot mister hide kind of need to end into Mr. Hot governor and then all of a sudden he's like oh shit I need to pull this thing out. He's got putting cartridges into this back in the mechanism and then Bobson's little grossing I'm gonna go with because it's really nice. Hey turns back to normal Jekyll and that's cool We gotta kind of get a peek at that care.
He's a leer of this group By the way the pretty gym yet any offices do you can see a skull of a vampire and you see the hand of the creature from the black Liboons and also that movie was on TV last night my own creature black moon. Yeah, like what 1950 something? Yeah, it was on maybe a C. I just I got home Nice.
Yeah, very cool. Actually speaking of that I remember I had a toy of that because back in the day Burger King had action figure toys of all these universal monster figures They had the good workman. They had Dracula. They had the swamp thing who was like clear and stuff.
You from the modern chain Oh, that's awesome. It was awesome. I remember those toys. That's cool.
They should do that. And if you were lucky you'd get the invisible man They forgot dumb kids We never had it for I was just gonna walk her to my freedom No, but I think yeah, but their whole operation is pretty cool. It's cool And the only dumb thing about it is here at the here guy like dr. Jekyll and you have this this and a daughter anti-bam pretty much for your Yeah, he's calling it.
It's almost like a venom where it kind of overtakes him It's a antibody that could be created stuff like this evil just mr. Hi This is all tonight personality and I feel like if you have that you turn into a giant rage monster that just feasts on killing and murdering him Just all sorts of he's an agent of chaos pretty much You think you have one of those preloaded fucking pens on you all time use it It's dramatic back that's essentially all it is. Yeah, obviously yeah We'd have to have it in there of course, but I mean it's like in real life You'd be like your doctor you have all these means your doctor and your loaded you already know what the issue is Here's a simple solution, but instead let's make it look more complicated. It's a dramatic back start fighting.
Yeah Log that shit down. Yeah, what's it do? You know, it's a little panic button stuff. Yeah, but pretty cool.
I see it was There's so many things that this movie could have done better Again, they kind of rush the and and yeah, the end is really rush I see you said you thought movie was kind of long in part. Yeah when we were getting to the end I was like man really like it was a good video for an hour and then but yeah I'm like fucking end the movie in like three minutes. It feels like it was so quick It seems quick and you know obviously it's really dumb because they find they find the Ruby back in London And they have they already know that she has my or actually they find a knife and stuff They bring her back to London even though they find out that the Ruby isn't London and a knife is It's convenient. It's really easy for you there the knife is in London So everything is in London take those fucking pieces and spread them like take the knife away Go elsewhere if you're gonna have like bring the money elsewhere lock her somewhere else take the Ruby and fucking run like Just don't put them all in one place where you know She's fucking evil and has always like curse spells first of all put a gag in that fucking bitch No, she's gonna be whispering shit and like commanding spiders and all that kind of crazy Yeah, which she shouldn't have been able to do because they're fucking driven the mercury on her whatever Yeah, Mercury some sort of like they were tripping on her They were fucking injecting and she had like a badass IV going in like right to her neck and they were involving her They were involving her that they do actually use that term they explain it that Mercury is some It's an Egyptian evil deterring.
Yeah, essentially. Yeah, it's an Egyptian Anyhow the Egyptians used to put mercury in the tombs of people She's in a pool of mercury when they found her in the police Yeah, but anyhow yeah, they're involving her in it. He's like yeah, essentially stops from doing anything And then she's like oh I've been here for however long I could have just done this a little time boom spider poison's guy She's in control of him. He stops the mercury.
She fucking kills her. She likes a spider. She has some Charlotte's web shit Just going at the rope I thought that's kind of nerdy when I was going out That's kind of shot you You know fast forward the ending you get this face off doing tom crews and in Jenny and jenny gets she drowns It's all dramatic and you're supposed to give a shit about her, but you really don't Oh my god, not Jenna And then yeah, he's fighting her the mummy well, he's getting absolutely shit kick Yeah, he has an army of Knights Templars to the zombie mummies and he's getting the shit kick out of him by So people tell him she just wants him to just get in just give in and finally he gets a knife He's like you know what fuck this. She says one thing that kind of catches his eyes He's like you can control death and he's like wait a minute.
She's dead. I can control death and have to come this guy Okay, and he's a before he smashes it He just fucking got himself and like this is where I was confused because he turns into essentially what she is He turns into what I don't think it's the guy. I don't think it's sad. He's not sad now, but it's something evil Yeah, he turns into another because it's not necessarily like the ritual that she was giving him because he does it himself Yeah, I never actually see him after he steps or something No, they kind of hide it, but you see his eyes like if you split by a fork I think this movie like it is cool It overused it a little bit.
Yeah, but so he ends up fighting her like a full power and stuff and ends up What is he gonna do again? I don't even know he ends up he ends up remummifying her area and he turns he gets Jenny back to life He's all in a doesn't know what's going on in the movie. Yeah, he sucks like over. Oh, he sucks like into her No, nobody sucks at out of this Sophia.
Oh, that's right. And she cripples up. I can ask the asthma I mean yeah turns into a great or a reason. Yeah, just prove it lightly.
Just she's been enough. We'll wait too long Because I'm very gross actually And then he blows the life into the Jedi Jedi she's dead. Yeah, she comes back to life and he runs out and he brings his buddy back Jake Johnson from back to the day and they run off kind of hanging around all time But he's dead or the doctors can see anybody's can't waste it Jake Johnson you're wasting this movie there And I just kind of want to be friends with you because you seem like a cool guy seem like a really funny guy and that's the other movie So what did we like about it? I mean we list up a couple things the airplane scene every scene, you know like the actual school Some of it was already Thing skipped literally I think we both thought the school was the sand face going through on it right after she escapes from Yeah, you get that I need you both from I mean I'm a lot serves places.
Yeah, that's cool. She gets like the sands of Egypt and stuff And she's breaking all the glass In the city of London and as I glass the scenery back into dust into the sand I'm chasing after a neck at the chamber That's cool. That's cool Throwback in the office actually James fighting some some guy She actually hits him in the face with a golden book and if you look closely it's a split second But it's the book of Amun Ra that they used to that they use in the first moment to bring or try to bring a Noxon and moon back for what's that? Yeah, so that also begs the question is Is this the money money returns and the two-minute guy bar are they in the same universe as us?
That's what it would I think that's what they're flying. Yeah, they're flying. Yeah, you can only assume that's That's case I mean, I know where he's dead But he's dead he could be brought back The same without you Tom Cruise, he's no he's no But I know why they brought him in He's a huge name especially because he's alive and he's gonna use the movies in the board Yeah, I think what they're hinting at is that he's the money now I think so because she's just turned back into a mummy He's the powers of the money. Yeah, he definitely is like that She was Yeah, he's So I guess that he's the money now but at the same time you have that you have that split personality cuz now we're trying to fight evil He's good.
Jimmy He's gonna keep down trying to fight it, but you already have a character like that You have Jacqueline Hyde for Fox States. You don't need to let me just make him fucking evil or something make Tom Cruise interesting For Christ sake. Yeah, if you hear this Tom, it's just funny to how when he goes to help him get help from Jacqueline He's like not make your fuck Yeah, we're just gonna kill you. Yeah, you're just gonna kill Jay So I know going in this movie didn't have that many expectations like a team doing it.
It was directed by Alex Kurtzman yes, Alex Kurtzman He hasn't directed much else. I think he did something first by in the list of banks a couple years ago I was called I couldn't get too sure to put it to be honest with you And he's done some other stuff like producing I think he produced both the reboot Star Trek's one and two and he did nice seeming one to one and two and he also Did the fucking cluster shit bomb that's amazing spider-man to and he's gonna actually he's gonna be involved Nothing's gonna be directing for say but I know he's gonna be involved in future dark universe movies and then helps me one of them Brighter Frankenstein and invisible man I think I'm looking forward to this one that most because fucking your boy Johnny Depp is joining Do you want to talk about it? I just like this one. I didn't even know Johnny was originally when we were talking about it.
I was still excited about it. He's like he's a glorified creep That's what he was. Yeah, he was allegedly Also right in this movie one of the guys Christopher McCory he's been on a lot of Tom Cruise. So I think pretty much Tom Cruise like this guy He's been on like mission possible I will read your movie if he helps.
I mean It's Tom Cruise he does we want to see those hotels these guys entire for blocked off for his servants very much because he's inside I wish I was thinking that that's a report. I don't wear for that room. Don't take my work work But I've heard that shit fucking lack of cash. It's not I'm just you know these guys have done some stuff, but not a lot of good stuff I mean they have been on mixed bag like the writers But they're facing this as its groundwork for the dark universe They had originally tried to do that universal with we had mentioned Dracula and told which you like right?
It has its moments. It's obviously they had zero faith in that being a little vengepin That's gonna put together these universe because they've been a movie It's the same thing that happened in the face experiment to was they try to do too much building up other movies without Finishing what they were doing in the current movie that we're watching and I feel like they did a little bit of that in this Just trying to rush it out and and you do some of these characters and what is not stuff But it wasn't as late as make a fireman to what I'll give back right for that being said it just was missing something I don't know it wasn't Terrible question mark. Yeah, definitely wasn't good. They're both left like meth.
Yeah, it's somewhere in the middle We kind of didn't really know what just happened. They were like action thriller rom-com It didn't know what it was and that's what I want to get back to it's called the dark universe now I know you want to make it action, but these are legendary Monster movies these are like the oGs of film monsters just before your freight couriers are there scaring Jason Make it a horror movie if you want to be brings up make it a horror movie make this terrifying There are scenes in this like the body bar is up and which is legitimate You know, I don't want stupid fucking jump scares. They're just popping with loud music No, he's an actual phrase give me something that's gonna know to me stick with me not just something that's gonna last a second in the theater And then I'm always gonna remember it when you watch it You have all these rights these great creatures the month Dracula any vampire matter that Frankenstein the wolf man in the business man You can kind of be like a bird like in the hall man I feel like that's gonna be the other one yeah that Friday Frankenstein you have the hunt track and Notre Dame You can do some shit with that. Oh, he's good black lagoon.
Oh, he's cool Monsters make them mon stress. I think the more monsters rather than these these action movies Yeah, I want to do too much. I think that was part of what was missing was that Sophia's character wasn't intimidating enough well They they had the intimidating factor from the earlier mummies. Yeah, this one beat actually I'll get back to this in a second here.
She's more of a seductress She has that sex appeal that the other movies didn't really have it She's gonna use that femininity to her advantage which the other ones didn't really do it. They were more like just a kind of weird Yeah, I like the choice that you'd have this female bill and I'd like that but fun fact they were originally gonna go with another male Mummy like an old bad guy money, but because of what they had done as a cliffhanger for X-Men days It's your past they had shown a little end credit scene where it's apocalypse doing some crazy shit fixing the pyramids around They're designed for when this was in production was so similar to that But they had to scrap all of their their concept art because it looks so similar to that start over start over And so that's why they're okay. Yeah, so that's like I like having her and she's she's good as being opposing Well, if I wasn't yet yet Seductive evil character. I think she does that well again.
You only do so much Yeah, and what I think to show with my instead like the raw power that she has but really there's not enough like destruction or scare or Intimidation to match it they make it make it to like when you put it in London You have like although I liked having that glass and sand of the face and stuff Make it make it more intimate make the settings a little bit more intimate more and close you have the mummy Which makes it the mummies scary is that you're enclosed in this tomb with it that there is no escape You enter these other wider these wider lands. Okay, the whole city you lose that like claustrophobia. Yeah, so that's why I think they did Something wrong. They didn't they didn't use the money to its whole potential.
Hopefully move forward like again This isn't a bad start. It's not a great start to build a franchise off of and it's kind of the same thing where Ormana steel kind of started off with the DC you didn't know that as we started off the announcement for the dark universe Only came when this movie was only like a month out So they're trying to do something but I feel like everyone's trying to jump on the what the MCU has kind of done Granted jump on that there is some hope for this dark universe because the MCU didn't start out very well I mean everyone looks back at Iron Man and they're like that would be fucking awesome But then it was followed up by incredible Hulk with with Ed Norton I didn't do so well No, I didn't like it and Iron Man 2 not everyone loved that and then Thor again people like Thor but not everyone like it wasn't huge at the time Until you get everyone back back stories and then you go into the Avengers and they had all these cross cross promotional movies and stuff But you know it takes solid groundwork to get to that point and this not every movie can be a winner Unfortunately, no, I agree, but I wouldn't say yeah, I wouldn't say this is a winner. Definitely wouldn't say it's a loser No, no absolutely not. It's a decent upstart.
Lots of people are gonna see it It's just commit to something just commit to whether you're an action movie or a horror movie and then finish the job Finish the job properly and if you're gonna lead up to something lead up to something better Don't I don't care about having an angry scene But hint towards what the next movie is going to be or something Yeah, and crazy so especially when you are starting off something so big. I mean, it's fine Not everyone needs to do it's kind of Marvel's thing But just hint towards give us a little a little teaser just before the end rather than him riding off into the sunset with with Johnson the veil just to do something just a little fucking just ah Just to see where we're heading. Give me a tip. Don't give us like what they didn't Dracula I'm told where you see the old man bar and be like let the games begin No, I was fucking dumb and got nowhere.
Yeah, but just give it a little tongue-in-cheek not so obvious something And yeah, cuz it'll give people who are kind of on the fence about the movie like us It'll give them a reason to go see the next one right yeah guys I mean work to see him but not everyone is in the same boat as us right they're gonna kind of I don't have a hobby on it. Maybe they maybe they'll see it But they might not go and see what's it? Yeah, that's right speaking of that this movie had a budget of about 120,000 first weekend domestically it finished second Wonder Woman is still going strong. Wonder Woman is still bribing over 50 million This this one brought in I think 30 a little over 31 million domestically So having said that because one of those days well who you think the target audience is Was a deep sigh I Question goes to you it's our question.
I don't know because again some of the stuff is legitimate Like it can't be for young kids. No, it is kind of frightening at the same time You have like stupid jokes, and you only lasted 15 seconds of bed Anyhow, yeah, I don't know who this movie is for cuz like I said I think it's not pretty it's 14 a and Maybe it's 14 years maybe maybe like it's maybe it's not like I remember back in right now Remember when the garage is coming out like have these these teen horrors to go back to the garage Leave me alone. Yeah, these teen or but this is a teen or it's an action I categorize it more as an action than poor even though my heart says it should be it's absolutely should be what it's an action I agree with you it's more actually more action and Tom Kurt Krusker, so he wants to be old fucking wacky son So I mean you still have stunts and like horrible these right they can still like that that plain scene awesome So like they could easily still have that in a horrible and it's not gonna make you feel like who this is a big fucking Michael Bay No, you don't be explosive Yeah, right like you don't even ever actually show the plane crashing which is cool, but I mean that's part of the mystery to it I think it's Like so I'm so confused. I don't know if this was for I know and I've said it a couple times already But just because the on-screen relationship between Nick and Jennifer is so forced They seem like they shove it down you throw it all the time and they get all the conk relief and it's like It feels like it I know it's definitely not a wrong con But it's like why is it so in your face?
It should be focused elsewhere Don't don't shove a romantic just have them be two people how to be male how to be female And they're working together to stop people and they're just done. Yeah, that's cool And then you have a natural chemistry. Yeah, and then because it's not it's not natural their chemistry It comes off as as so very force force and they don't sell it and I don't care It's thumpers. It's thumpers.
Do you don't care who he is? It's thumpers. Yeah, I don't know like maybe the box office Show is that even though you have a big name like that. It's not necessarily gonna do well I think it's for a mixed bag of people I certainly couldn't nail down one demographic I mean maybe like 18 to 34 and I want to say not specifically guys That's specifically girls but in that younger category of us teenagers are probably gonna like it I don't know better They don't know but they're definitely not gonna look back at this movie with that same same fondness that we had growing up We're gonna be the brand-brained.
Yeah, sorry the 99 two other one. They're not gonna look back on that I was I don't think about it. I mean, I was good even though I mean I'm gonna watch it. I'll be like okay It's probably terrible, but not terrible But I mean we can have fun with it and this one I don't feel like that we got that fun factor Is there I mean at least again the most should be for less like that's more of a rump It's a fun rump, but it aimed to do that with some parts I think they tried to emulate that here, but to lesser effect that doesn't work well I think that's all I have to say about that to be on someone's little this way.
It just didn't do much for me I wasn't it's not it entirely but we didn't have we didn't have very high expectations, but still you know We're expecting a little bit of a better product. I was hoping for like they did have this this buzz coming around for the dark Universe and they have their own little logo now where they all the trailers are very cool. It looks cool I can't look through your eyes split and shit. My best friend need.
Yeah, and she's good tonkers tonkers That's all I can say. Yeah, there's nothing saying More with the money have her more involved I feel like there's more Nick and Jennifer than there is the money. Well, that's what I mean I understand why they do that because it it's more about her being the villain you don't like even though that's called the mummy You want it to have that type of that alien effect the original alien it worked really well Like you should do what the alien did because it's in in closed face You barely see the villain on screen or I don't know how I thought that imagination roll exactly I just use little clips of it and let that that intensity build up within your own Environment and you don't even need to have these crazy effects to have that to have the mummy be effective as this evil this grand grandiose evil That can destroy the world that that would be so good. Look at perfect example Paranormal activity Imagination and then they killed it with 19 other paranormal activity I was like say what you will about that movie, but it did did it did it great very little and it still managed to top Into everyone's fears about an empty house in the dark because that's the thing It's all your imagination So I mean if you're a boring person it's gonna be a boring movie but If you're a creative or have a crazy imagination or if you get scared easily under your own thoughts whatever whatever There's certain things can play up on and they didn't fail they have the jump scares I'm not in it.
Oh, it's really good, but I think that's that's it for the mummy this week I don't think any closing words anything to say Not really I don't know if I would necessarily Recommend it to people. I mean go see it if you like the other money movies go see it give a chance. Let us know what you think I'll say this Don't go see this watch the mummy and the mummy return to 1989 in 2001 and have a legitimate good time If you want to see Tom Cruise movie go see watch Edgy tomorrow because I think was currently underrated That's a good movie. That's a good sci-fi movie and yeah I don't mind Tom Cruise and that because it starts out as a little bitch and eventually turns into this art and God Go see that movie.
Don't go see this. Do you want to see it wait till it comes out on whatever streaming service or talking? Go right to from your local DVD register or blusters and Rogers video guys. Yeah, go see it Go get it from your local red box or video and then take off to China Don't do that Just I can't recommend I cannot recommend it Yeah, but maybe maybe come back to it once the actual universe is starting to shake Yeah, then maybe then they do come back to it and look at it And then you can kind of see the building walks what they're gonna put there and later Hopefully the other ones kind of stronger hopefully but that's that's asking a lot but maybe maybe we'll see something It's actually a lot stronger than this.
No, that's probably very yeah. I couldn't do it. Do you kind of stronger than this? Maybe yes, yeah Yeah, no, but I mean in the grand scheme of movies.
No, it's average below average At best it's average. It does one thing good and then shit the better and then just one thing good and then just three things back Yeah, that's another two things back. Yeah, yeah, that's the thing that's really frustrating What is that they cost in a lot of good stuff and then it's like, ah, let me show you real quick You just clean up the shit and you're like, oh good parts Nope, so we can just take those good bits and then put them in to whatever's coming up next I mentioned them before put them Into the whatever that is me. I have a decent pass coming up I think I mentioned some before last week.
I mentioned one earlier already I'm not too excited about that Hey, everybody damn is gonna be Frank's monster. I'm not a good so if he would tell us as the mummy in this one You have Tom Cruise as the new mummy you have who else is it? Obviously dr. Jekyll mr.
Hi, this is also pro and you see it again. It's only. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, so I think that'll be good Yeah, I think that'll be good. I think she was one of the good parts of this and this we had was they've actually I've heard recent Casa rumors that are looking into getting the rock for the whole man Which I don't know. I mean we needed the rock to save powers five. Yeah, maybe maybe he can help reboot the Universe and it'll be a little throwback.
I mean, maybe you're very back as a scorpion king He was using that for a lot I mean I didn't forget about them, but I wish he looks so bad as a CJ scorpion monster And then the money turns but it's so fun. It's a good type of bad. Yeah, it's yeah, he's being I for the wolf man We haven't seen the wolf man on screen since the knee so they'll forodid it I think twenty eleven or twenty ten twenty nine something like that. He was with Anthony Hopkins and it was that was decent But maybe make a bit I think a vicious wolf man.
That'd be cool I don't know about the Casa the rock in the rock is super charming stuff, but he's already fucking juiced I'd rather see it a smaller dude turn into a hulking werewolf man rather than a big man turn into a big werewolf But it's the rock he's on the rise like a great some that's number of people that's amazing and that guy he is a busy guy He is a busy guy And he's not for what he does. I mean that guy's worth that because I think it's insane Yeah, so I think if he put stuff into it, he'll be a little maybe he'll be that franchise biographer this Also, there were some rumors maybe Angelina Jolie would be right at Frankenstein Which I can see because she pretty much I mean look at Maleficent and she just tossed on a different type of hairdo and she said yeah She hasn't been in much recently. Sorry so much doing her own stuff. That's fine.
I think that'd be okay. Not breath it I think that's that's it for all the casting rumors I know I don't know who's gonna be the hunt shot or nor game or the creature like and that's something that helps ain't known No, no, no, no, that's right. Yeah, they're all just a nouns pretty much so yeah, yeah, they're those are all kind of Like next three to five years. Yeah, I think those later ones that haven't cast before yet.
I think the next one of the other I think was going to be busy I'm gonna be busy. I hope so I hope they're busy in a good sense Not just cuz they're trying to work it out to make money exactly just turn it out. Hopefully they yeah They don't need to bite off more than they can chew they need to take the time to work on one movie at a time to do little Pins and tidbits at the next movie don't force five tidbits of the five next movies within one Yeah, and then you'll be fine. Yeah, so that's the show for this week guys.
Thank you for listening I just listen to all you bunch of lovelies out there. This is arms hair reviews So far we haven't got any any negative feedback about her name. Yeah, other than a couple lazy boy jokes obviously Yeah, real creative guys, but if you want to donate a couple lazy We will record them a brick where you at yeah Speaking of hashtags we're gonna find your Twitter games. They can find me at makaij14 So mckay a yj14 meets and they can find me at Kristoff Goden chr is t-o-p-h g-o-d-i-n and our podcast email is oh my God an audio at gmail calm oh hmy g-o-d In audio at gmail calm don't forget to check us out on soundcloud and iTunes iTunes baby I'm very excited about that and I already mentioned it, but yeah, that's where we're at search it up download it You can't actually download it via the sound cloud app on your phone But you can be at the desktop I've enabled all that stuff and if you have iTunes you find it there for download as well That's it the show.
We'll see you guys in two weeks. That's right. We'll probably if capital theater allows us look at Transformers 5 of the last night. I don't think you'll have any don't bring it in for sure.
Yeah, sometimes they're shoddy Alright guys, good bye. See you next time bye bye