Yo, yo, yo, what's up people? I'm your host Jay Will. And I would like to welcome you to inspire guys, people where we balance faith and business to guide you to your purpose. Listen, if you're not already subscribed to the show, just subscribe on YouTube or Apple Podcast or yeah, just go to YouTube, at inspire guys, people.
Just hitting 900 subscribers yesterday. You know what I'm saying? So shout out to everybody for that. Today, look, I want to talk about emotional intelligence.
Why is it important, especially for leaders? I made a Facebook post today and I just said something about like how every great leader and easy emotional intelligence and one of the crazy things today is like everybody thinks they're a leader. And what does it even mean? You know what I'm saying?
Because some people think that their title makes them a great leader. Now, understand when I'm talking today, I'm talking about great leaders. So somebody can literally be a leader and be a horrible leader. We probably all have had them.
I have you ever had a bad boss? You know what I'm saying? Like I have a great boss right now. Shout out to my boss.
But you know what I'm saying? Like if you ever had a bad boss, like I can almost ruin your life, bro. Because work is so much of a part of it. But we talk about leadership and we think about leadership is bigger than your job.
It could be your life. It could be a project. It could be a job. It could be a business.
But leadership is just an important part of life. And so we're going to talk about emotional intelligence and why leaders need it specifically. We're going to talk about three reasons why leaders need emotional intelligence. But first I'm jumping into this, um, what's this thing?
Intro and like I don't always play the intro. You know what I'm saying? It's 30 seconds of beautiful blessing. No, so you can get this.
I can see beyond the tears you cry. I saw every hill you have declined. When you say you ain't afraid to die. All right, guys, people, let's jump into it.
Three reasons why leaders need emotional intelligence. But the first thing we need to understand is what is emotional intelligence. Some people might know some people might not. So let's just take a quick look at the screen and see, you know, all I did was Google it.
You know what I'm saying? Google stuff, make it easy. What does it say right here? Look, I ain't even Google number emotional INT and it came up.
This is according to mental health America, right? Emotional intelligence or sometimes you will hear it referred to as EI is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understanding emotions of people around you. Ooh, that's kind of dope. There are five key elements to EI.
We're going to talk about the self awareness, self regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. But it is this ability to manage both your emotions and to understand the emotions of people around you. All right. So why is emotional intelligence then important to be a leader?
Let's deal with this first. Understand your own emotions, fam. There are people out here that are just living completely unaware. It's not true.
It's not me. I know it's these other people. You know what I'm saying? But you're walking around and I'm going to tell you why this is this is a horrible thing to walk around and not understand yourself and be aware of how you're coming up.
You ever talk to somebody? Respectfully. You know what I'm saying? And let's just say they don't smell the greatest today.
Let's go ahead and say they smelling kind of spicy. You feel what I'm saying? That was always interesting to me, especially when somebody got that extra spice on them. You feel what I'm saying?
Like I went to Nashville recently. It's this dope Nashville hot chicken spot called Prince's. They been around like 120 or not 20, 105 years or something like that. Something like that.
But they chicken, they got all these levels of hot and spicy. Now to just get so hot it signs around a whole restaurant that says our mild is hot. That mean if you go to this restaurant and you order mild, you actually is going to be hot compared to somewhere else. What's my point?
They understand they spice. Some of us walking around extra spicy. Like your mild is spicy and you don't know. And the reason I want you to know and you should be aware is because everybody else know.
And this is a tough way to live life. If everybody else knows something about you that you don't know about yourself. So you walking around smelling spicy and you think you smelling good. So you acting like you smell good.
You walking in confident, smelling like a Popeyes chicken sandwich. You feel what I'm saying? And so emotional intelligence is the ability to first understand your own emotions. So be aware of yourself.
But then I love the second part of the definition of emotional intelligence is to be able to manage what it would say, manage and understand the emotions of other people around you. Now, I want to jump into some scenarios as we think about these three reasons for leaders. And I'm going to say this, man, the dangers of not being emotional intelligence, like the risk and the consequences are hot. I was reading this book and I don't remember what book it was, but I was reading I was reading something.
Maybe it was an article, might not even been a book, but it was talking I think it was a book. It was talking about how people end up in prison and how most of the people in prison spending 30 years plus are spending 30 years in prison over a one minute decision or one minute of losing a cool right. They like they interview people and it's like somebody lost it for one minute and just spazzed out and did something and it cost them the rest of their life. So we talk about emotional intelligence, fam.
The reason I'm trying to kick it with people about this is because it's like, yo, you think you lashing out on other people is hurting them. Now, granted, it might be for instance, just an example, some person that's in prison because they hurt like the physical harm to somebody. Yes, you did harm that person. You did like you lashed out and you talked them a lesson.
But you hurt yourself too. And this is what we don't often think about. All right, we all got at least one person in our family that's like, oh, I'll take no mess from nobody. I'm gonna tell them about this.
Oh, and nobody's gonna say to me. This like, all right, this person thinks that they teach everybody a lesson. But because they're not aware of their own emotions and they're not able to manage the emotions of people around them. What does that mean to manage emotions?
So now that's just into these three reasons why leaders need it and I'm gonna answer that question. First thing is first, if you a leader, man, the leaders solve problems. All right. So that might sound really dope.
I know again, a lot of people like to consider themselves leaders without actually understanding what leadership is. A lot of people, you know what they think it is. They think leadership is pointing the finger and telling people what to do. Like, yo, I'm the boss.
Tell me, when I say, people say how high, you know what I'm saying? When I say go there, they go. Every boss ain't a leader. I just said something.
Clap for me. I just said something. Every boss ain't a leader, fam. Leaders don't point people around and tell people what to do.
That's not what leadership is. The best leaders in the world solve problems. That's why leaders make a lot of money. That's the difference between being a manager, why some people don't want the responsibility of a manager?
Because if you just, you know, if you just at a certain level, you could just float, like, hey, I ain't on manager. I don't got to deal with that. Miss, you feel what I'm saying? Leaders solve problems.
Now, the reason you got to be emotionally intelligent when you're solving problems, because if a problem crosses your desk, right? And if you're a leader and they're going to be crossing your desk every day, imagine if you just overreact to every problem. Imagine if you just, oh my God, it's like, hold on, bro. Calm down.
Tone it down. Tone it out. Now. Everybody want to be a superhero.
You Batman, you Superman, every time something superman, if you, this is aspect of Superman, they're always tricking you up. Superman, you know, in the movies, comics, whatever, he can hear everything. Unlike, first of all, why you always only say even low is being fan. You mean to tell me, see, this the difference between Superman and God, some of y'all won't Superman.
I won't God, because God be saving all kind of people at once. Superman is like, you cute. I like you, you saved. Never matter the other 250 million people screaming in my ear right now.
You feel what I'm saying? But imagine if every time Superman's ears and Spider-Man's spiky senses went off, he's like, Oh, no, no, no, no, no, it's like panic. Leaders solve problems. In order to solve problems, you have to be able to hear problems and you need to be able to both manage your own emotions.
It doesn't mean you don't have them. This is something I think people get mixed up when we talk about emotional intelligence. They think when you're talking about managing emotions, that you're saying a person doesn't have them. No, that's why it's called managing the things that are there.
So you got these emotions, leaders feel the same emotions as other people. Maybe there's a little bit of fear that tries to stir up. Maybe there's a little bit of uncertainty, the leader knows how to manage them and while you're managing your own, right? Because you deal with problems.
You also know how to manage those of the people around you, right? Because there's always going to be things that are happening. I'm gonna give you a real life example. This just happened this weekend.
This weekend we driving in a car on a semi-main street. Now I'm saying semi-main, let's say that the speed limit on the street is 45 miles an hour. Okay, so that should tell you what kind of street you know, but it's only like a two, three lanes, whatever. It wasn't a huge street, small enough where there are houses on the street.
You feel what I'm saying? So it's a semi-main street, what house is only? We driving a car and my wife is like, yo, there's a baby. There was a baby walking down one of the driveways and the baby is walking towards the street.
The baby is about two years old to put it in perspective. This is a baby that ain't been walking that long and he just, yeah, just walking towards the street. So my wife is like, yo, there's a baby walking towards the street. Meanwhile, there are cars going 45 miles an hour and no adult insight.
So I pull over, okay, this is literally just a Saturday. This just happened. I pull over real quick, start to the side of the road, like kind of black back in the traffic. Everybody else just looking.
See what I'm saying? This one I'm trying to tell you. It's like people, cars going and just looking. I pull over to the side of my wife hop out and go and pick up the baby.
And it looks like a, who was the grandfather was the one watching the baby. And my man is like doing something with some bushes and something. I'm looking like, bro, your grandson out here, your kids gonna be mad at you if something happened to their kid. Long story short, that was a problem.
I had to be able to manage my emotions enough to pull over to the side of the road. She had to be alert enough to hurry up to get out of the car and go over there and grab this baby and take the baby to the grandfather. That's emotional intelligence because life has problems. Problems will arise.
You will have to strategize and figure out how to operate in life. So that's reason number one why leaders need emotional intelligence because leaders need to be able to solve problems. You cannot solve problems if you're panicking or overreacting and again, it doesn't mean your emotions aren't there, right? So you have them, but you know what I'm managing.
All right, what's the second thing I got? Leaders manage people and personalities. So this is it. This is different.
First, you're solving problems. But then when you become a leader, now you're managing the people who either they work for you or under you in an organization or whatever it may be or maybe they're your kids, whatever. But there's all these different personalities and you live enough life and you realize, man, yo, it's some really interesting personalities out here. And sometimes you clash.
Like I get an example. Like there's a couple of personality types that I've just realized in my life. Like, yo, every time I meet this certain type of person, like I clash with them. It don't have to be nothing wrong.
It don't have to be. It's just like instantly when you get in the presence of certain people and your personality is a certain type of way. And there's another like, but it's just a certain type of clash. As a leader, you can't overreact to all that because there's gonna be times that people with that personality type work for you.
There's gonna be time that you work for people with that personality type. And maybe I don't work for one another, but maybe you'll have to work with one another. Maybe you'll do a project together in church or something that you have to deal with this certain type of person on. And as a leader, you cannot be the person to just overreact.
And you know what? I think part of managing your emotional intelligence is not always reacting to everything. That takes a lot of poise. You feel what I'm saying?
To be a person that knows how to navigate and understand like, oh, you know what I mean? This person seemed to have like a little clash. And part of managing that emotional intelligence might be just saying like, it ain't even no problem. It's just that they like to talk a lot and I like to chill, right?
So when we come around each other, this person just want to talk and I really just be chilling and maybe them talking is draining me and me chilling is throwing them off because they're like, yo, why are you chilling? Why are you quiet? What's the problem? And you see how like in life, you have all these different personality types.
Excuse me. So my point is in order to be emotional and intelligent, you're not gonna leave a trail everywhere you go. Here's what I mean by this. Think about the task money, man, double the task money, man, double go into just spinning around, tearing stuff up everywhere you go, right?
And when the Tasmanian double is gone, everything behind them is toe up this holes in the wall, stains on the couches, fries under the seat. You ever had somebody over your house or something? And when they left, you like, I do a lot of cleaning up when you come up with my house, man, like, they you come over and leave a mark like test. And so when you're not emotionally intelligent, that's what people do.
They leave a mark and not in a good way. It's like, oh, this again, you nobody go to a meeting or they say something to me. I'm doing this. I'm doing that.
It's like you're living life as if there are no consequences. You're also living life as if you're in control and really people are controlling you. See, a huge part of being a leader and being emotionally intelligent is being able to control yourself in intense situations. And for some reason, in the world we live in a day, it's the person that's out of control that thinks they're in control.
I think this is a huge reason why there is so much violence, you know what I'm saying in the world. And when you think about, you know, you think about being in a hood or something like, it's always that person is like, oh, anybody go test me. Ah, it's like a person that is shooting anybody. And it's like, bro, like you can't just go around shooting everybody.
It doesn't make sense. You're not in control. You're actually being controlled and you're losing your cool. And you think you big and bad because any and everybody can make you lose your cool.
It's not you. It ain't you. Am I isn't me? Like, what you think?
Like, is it me or does the person that lose they could think they in control? All right. So when we think about being emotionally intelligent, it is about being able to manage people, manage various personalities, understand yourself, control yourself. And ultimately, as a leader, we're making the better long term decision.
Look, this wasn't even what I wrote down, but a leader has to have the ability to think beyond the short term. Now, remember I told y'all I was reading some book or some article and they talked about the people in a lot of people in prison doing 30 plus years in prison because they lost a cool for one minute. Now, what you think about that, bro? Somebody lost a cool for one minute, pulled that gun out shot somebody and now you in prison for 30 years.
That it losing your cool doesn't produce good results because you're in prison. Now you're in chain. I don't care how tough you are. I don't care.
Like, yeah, you really told them. Yeah, you really told them and lost your life. Leaders need perspective in order to have like to think about the long term, you have to have perspective. Here's the point I'm making.
You see this a lot, you know, in the hood, you see father's as an example. You a father, you on the street and you got your kids and you love your kids like bro, you out here in the streets, you might be in the streets trying to make money for your kids. Look, I'm not here to judge you. I just want to love you.
I just want to tell you God is above you. I'm just trying to, why am I rapping? I don't know. What's my point?
My point is that father, you see so many fathers go out in the street and make decisions based on a pride based on a reputation of the people around them being tough. Oh, yeah, respecting the hood. Oh, we can't let him do that. Like, Oh, you can't do that.
You ain't gonna look at me. No kind of way. You ain't gonna do this. I'm gonna show you any and go to prison because they lost perspective because they were basing their decisions around these people and meanwhile, they got four kids at home and never thought about the kids when they pulled out the burner.
Emotional intelligence will have you think about the proper things in the right perspective when you're making decisions. Specifically, this is why emotionally and emotional intelligence, I can talk people. I can talk. Emotional intelligence is dope because it's super necessary in intense situations.
So there are some people that worship their emotions. What do I mean by that? Like, I mean these people all the time, some of y'all are in my comment box sometimes when I make posts. Your whole life is guarded and guided by your emotions.
You worship your emotions. You worship however you feel about something and you make however you feel facts, right? And a problem with that is that it's not facts. Just because you feel a certain way isn't facts.
It doesn't make something factual and it doesn't mean it's the best decision. I give you an example. You see this all the time with role rage. People, I've seen, I've literally seen people like pull out bats, fight for like traffic.
It's always interesting to me because when you're talking about accident happen, we talking about every time I see somebody overreact, I've seen it two or three times in my life to traffic. There was never actually anything that happened. Meaning, I understand if you want to, I ain't gonna say that. I ain't gonna say nothing but I get if somebody hurt you, somebody in your family and you react a certain way.
But you'll be having people that cut you off and you lost your mind. Like, lost all intelligence because somebody cuts you off and you literally can't control yourself. And so now you're in this match with a person. Y'all going at each other, trying to see who the toughest in traffic.
That is weird to me. Number one, you don't know who you driving next to. What if that's John Wick and traffic on his way to handle business? Bitness.
What if you driving next to John Wick? The crazy thing about traffic is like people be overreacting and traffic. I'm like, you don't know my man. You don't know old girl.
You don't know what they're doing with whatever. And I believe that emotional intelligence allows you to properly vet a situation and say that's not worth my time. Even if it's worth daytime. When people try to get that mean and traffic, I just keep it moving, right?
I'm like, you don't know me, I don't know you. Like at the end of the day, one of us cut each other off. It could have been an honest mistake. Maybe I was wrong, bro.
But I mean, we lived and I don't know what you want to do. Fight like it because that's silly to me. It doesn't make sense. So you had like emotional intelligence is about a long term decision.
And I'm talking about this because I want us to be thinking about long term decisions and how we react to things and it's what we say. It's what we do. It's how we respond. And we have to stop giving people and things control over our life.
Because if you out here living in life and all somebody got to do is row day eyes at you and you lose your cool. You're not in control, fam. Like you are not in control. You think you are because you think you're the one the aggressor.
It's like, no, like you're the crash test dummy. That doesn't make sense. You're going to do something that's going to hurt you or the people around you. Your kids would much rather you make good decisions when you driving to work than to go out and try to prove to everybody and traffic that you took.
Growing up, I really loved Bruce Leedart. Like I was a Bruce Lee fan growing up in Bruce Lee movie. Like I just love Bruce Lee's style, right? And I remember at first he used to confuse me as a kid because you know, you thinking like, yo, if I know Karate, I'm trying to fight.
I'm trying to hit you with the I'm trying to hit you with the drag, like I'm trying to do all like if you know Karate, I'm trying to use it. And I remember Bruce Lee was the type Bruce Lee like fan like, no, like I know Karate. I don't want to fight. Mr.
Miyagi Daniel, I'm telling you something. Do not fight. I'm like Mr. Miyagi, if you don't let this man stop watching cars and beat the brakes off of a person.
But what I love about it is there's a level of emotional intelligence. When you don't have to go around life trying to do things to prove everything to someone else. When you are managing you, when you have you under control, because you know how to, again, it ain't that you don't feel the emotions, but you know how to manage the emotions. You know how to properly make decisions based on the things that actually matter so that in the long term you end up in the destination that you want to be.
Because I don't know that nobody wakes up in the morning and says I want to go to jail, but yet people go to jail every day because they made a split second decision that was the wrong decision. And what I'm saying is emotional intelligence is about managing you. And I believe in accountability, I believe in looking in the mirror before I look out the window. That means I believe in looking at myself before I believe in looking out and pointing finger at everyone else.
And a huge part of looking in the mirror is saying, am I managing me correctly? Yes, there are some things that happen in the world that I don't like. Yes, there are some people that might have did me wrong or some things that are not to my advantage. But I can't overreact to every little thing that happens in life.
I have to properly vet and manage the situation. And I genuinely believe we are at like, we are in like an emergency, emotional emergency, because I think people are just so used now to just making rash decisions where they just act off how they feel. And again, people literally think how they feel is facts. I'm telling you, like, just look at my comments.
Sometimes people arguing, it's like, your emotions aren't facts. And I want to say this, even if something bad happens, so you take like, I always try to talk about the racial tension of the past few years, because I think it has such a grip on people, like racial tension has such a grip on people. And when I'm in conversations with friends, family, whatever, it's like, I'm always challenging people. Because I'm like, bro, like, I mean, I know that happened in 65, but like, you was born at 85.
Like, I'm not saying that that that's not facts and that don't make you feel some way, but it's not, it doesn't mean that you should act on that emotion, just because the emotion is real, doesn't make what you want to do a fact, or in it doesn't always, okay, let me try to think of politics is a good one. Politics will get your emotions going real, real quick. Politics, I look at people and they like, I look at, I love like looking at Trump, because I'm like, yo, the people who love Trump, they love Trump, but the people who hate Trump, they hate Trump. And I'm like, yo, are we all this emotionally charged that we can't even properly vet him anymore and say this is what's good, this is what's bad, and this is my response to it.
I see a lot of videos now where people, they go up into Capitol Hill, they go to these congressional meetings and they're like, I'm gonna tell y'all that and they get to holler and I'm like, bro, everybody want to be Martin Luther King, like, chill, bro, you being an amp like that don't make it facts, if it ain't facts. Now, it don't mean just because you amp like that, it ain't facts. What I'm simply saying is I hear people emotional sometimes talking about nothing, because it's something like, okay, you just trigger, you just don't like him. You don't like Trump, so everything you do is bad, where you like Trump, so everything you do is good.
This is one of the things that I don't enjoy about politics, because I really don't think nobody's being that honest on either side. I'm like, to me, I feel like y'all online, like y'all online, like I'll be saying this name stuff, you hate him because of that, but then you don't talk about what he did, he got a controversy over this, but we ain't gonna talk about his controversy over here. So it's like, all the emotions that you feel, it don't make how you were feeling facts. So that's my thing, the third reason that leaders need to be emotionally intelligent is that leaders set the tone.
And this is something that I think, when you think about any leader, think about a president since we tell my politics. And when something's happening in the world, how do you want a leader to show up? If it's, think about it, as a country, we literally be at war with people. We be at war with other countries, it'd be bombs, shout out to all the military people, thank you for your service out there.
But there are real life people, I have military people in my family that go out and risk their life for real. But notice when the news come here, the president never come here, and you're like, oh my god, we're over here, and the bombs are going off. Because you know what's going to happen? If the president of the United States shows up in the middle of any tense situation with that level of panic, we are toast.
Butter, bread, and a toaster, done. If the president's here, I don't get an example. I do a lot of flying, right? I travel a lot for business.
And you know, you travel in sometimes you're going to hit some turbulence. And there are times that when the first thing, when it gets a little turbulent, like, and I'm telling you, I want to get a little more than like, all right, this is a little more than usual, you know what I'm saying? What's the first thing I do? I listen to the tone of the pilot, you know what I'm saying?
If you want to fly with a pilot, the airline I fly, typically the pilots are going to speak up on here. I know some of the cheap ones, you know what I ain't saying? You don't say no, bro. You don't know.
Hey, guys, it feels a bit shaky. Are we still up? Are we still in the air right now, sir? It feels like I'm going.
And so, you know, like investing you a good flight, you know, sometimes the cheapest price, I don't want no pilot on clearance. It can be clearance, but I don't want it on clearance. You know what I'm saying? Notice, flights don't ever really go on sale.
Like, you don't get the Black Friday and then you're going to fly to Jamaica for 40% cheaper. No, bro. Some stuff just always, the price is always high, right? Like, and so when I'm on the flight and it's turbulent, the first thing I like to do is listen to the tone of the pilot.
You know what I'm saying? Because he the leader, you got all these people, we on this flight, you like, we trust in you. So if you scared, I'm scared. But when the pilot is like, don't worry folks, this is your pilot here and we are 33,000 feet in the sky and there are just a couple of rough clouds for the next five minutes.
Nothing to be worried about, but I am going to turn on the seat built sun. So, don't go to the restroom and the flight attendants are going to be preparing for it's like, all right, you sound cool, uncle. Who the second people are looking to secondary leadership? I'm looking at the flight attendant.
Why are you talking? I'm looking like, so you straight? You believe him? We good?
And if the flight attendant is like, you know, yes, everything's perfect. We're, you want your little cookie? Okay, no problem. What's on the drink?
Great. Sit down. We good. But if the pilot come on like, folks, I'm up here.
I tell you, I don't know what the heck is going on. This plane is going. Oh my God. Push the button, Jim.
Push the button. Like if the pilot is on the flight and he's doing all that, I'm done. I'm pulling a joint from under the seat. I got the backpack.
Even if it's the exit, we go on, bro. I'll tell you right now. So emotional intelligence for a leader is necessary because when you're leading something, you got to, hey, you have to manage your own emotions, but you're managing them through understanding the people that you're setting the tone for and leaders have the ability to understand how they impact a bigger picture. See, people who aren't leaders live their entire lives making decisions.
Only that benefit them. Like selfish people typically aren't great leaders because leadership is about sacrifice. And I don't care if you are the the shift manager at a fast food restaurant. Guess what?
It's still about sacrifice. It's still about setting its own because I've worked at McDonald's twice. And guess what? When that line came along, you can't panic.
Like, oh man, people mad. They throwing cheeseburgers at somebody did throw a cheeseburger back in. I'm like, it's my first day, man. I'm in the drive through my only job.
It's the hand you're the fool. I ain't make the burger, man. Come on, lady. But I'm emotional intelligence.
I was emotionally intelligent. You know what? Not always, but you know, in that moment I was because I wanted to stick my hand out the window and slap the lady. But my momma taught me first, never put my hands on the woman.
So I've never put my hands on the woman. That ain't gonna happen. And so it was, I just started the job and I needed the money. You know what I'm saying?
And so emotional intelligence isn't always about looking the toughest or whatever. You got to understand like, yo, the leader leadership is about the people following you. There is panic everywhere. I worked at Kmart.
You know what I'm saying? That what's upon the time? When I worked at Kmart, I remember I was a cashier doing Christmas. Then I'm like, get to go on crazy, wrapped around the store.
I'm sweating. I'm like, just lying alone. People mad. Like people get mad when they come to like Christmas time.
We make all these happy Christmas songs. We need at least a couple of mad Christmas songs because people be out here shopping mad acting the fool because they got no emotional intelligence. So my point is emotional intelligence is about setting its own. A couple more things before we get out of here.
When we look at the definition of emotionally and emotionally, I can't talk. I can talk people. I want to look at this definition one more time before I jump out of here because there was something else that I wanted to highlight in the definition. And this is according to Mental Health America.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understanding emotions of people around you. The five key elements, this is what I wanted to talk about. Self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. All right.
So I just want to briefly touch on these because I think this is super important. So think about it through the lens. We already talked about the three reasons why leaders need emotional intelligence. But think about these five key elements of emotional intelligence as you think about like your own life.
And so first, it is self-awareness. We already talked about that and the importance of just being aware of yourself, bro. Like, in part of being aware of yourself is giving people around you the permission to be real with you. All right.
Because look, sometimes you just don't miss them. I'm gonna tell you like this. You ever had somebody tell you like, Hey, it's something on your lip, bro. Hey, don't.
It's something on your lip. You got something in your beard. Like it's always good to have a person around you that they gonna be the ones to tell you and make you self-aware so that you don't make a fool of yourself in front of everybody else. So if you're emotionally intelligent, you need to have somebody around you empowered to be real with you.
See, a lot of people want a bunch of fake relationships and friendships that ain't really real. They just say they cool and I don't like all that stuff. I don't like fake stuff. Don't overly bro it.
Like if we ain't really cool, right? That's the first thing, self-awareness, self-regulation. So this part, this other element is so key. It's one thing to be aware of yourself, right?
It's another thing to have the discipline of self-regulate. And again, this is this is what happens when you're in the tense moment and something happens and you feel the emotion, but you need to regulate yourself to respond properly. This can happen at work. Again, dealing with your boss, dealing with your team, dealing with customers, dealing with anybody.
Like they're going to be moments in your life where your emotions stir up and it's okay to have emotions, but you don't want to be controlled by your emotions. I'm telling you, I don't really know too much good that can happen when a person is controlled by your emotions because I think the number one sign of being controlled by your emotions is being out of control because it's controlling you. They're controlling you. So you are out of control.
And so it's like, you don't really produce anything good when you are out of control. Imagine driving out of control on a freeway. It's like, oh, I got somebody don't get hurt. So it's like, if you live in your life, just so emotionally triggered where people can't even talk to you.
So I'm going to say this about society today, what bothers me personally, because I'm a person that likes to engage and have a lot of conversations even about controversial or taboo topics because I believe that's how you learn, that's how you grow. And I do genuinely want to understand why people do what they do, right? In the world we live in today, we sell sensitive, you can't answer question. We sell sensitive, you can't even explore with people.
Or even if you talk about certain things, what people want you to do now is blindly follow. Well, that's not intelligent. Like bro, like I'm not going to blindly follow you on politics or your opinion about certain things that, you know, pick a topic in this world today. People want to throw a topic out there and then basically just say, Hey, this is what we all going with as the world.
I don't know when they had a meetings about what we all agree or disagree with. But it's like somebody has some meeting somewhere and they huddle and they'll be like, all right, break. So we all agree that, you know, we voting like this, right? Cool.
All right, cool. Now let's go make everybody vote like this. And if they don't vote like this, let's make them feel bad for asking a question or genuinely disagreeing with this. I don't believe in that.
I don't prescribe or subscribe to that type of logic. I'm more of a person that likes to engage. If you tell me as an example, right, since we've touched on politics a few times today, if you tell me like, Hey, I hate Trump, I hate Donald Trump. First couple things I want to know is, okay, this is interesting.
Donald Trump has been a figure really most of my life. A princess, he was in rap videos at one point. He was a celebrity like, I mean, okay, this is interesting. Black people sing a like him.
Now, I don't have a problem if somebody dislikes Trump. I'm neutral, right? But if you dislike him, I want to know why you dislike him. I don't want it to be because CNE and say you don't get the like him.
I don't want it to be because your boss or whoever says you don't get the like him. And this is something that I've seen even in corporate America. I've seen where people are very comfortable criticizing somebody like Trump openly that surprises me. Even as somebody who's neutral, independent, I'm like, wow, this is interesting.
So you can, you can, who agree that we can all go against this one way, any of all go for this other way. And I'm gonna tell you why it concerns me even as an independent voter and someone who does not really claim to be a Democrat or Republican, but try to respect and understand both sides when at the best I can where it concerns me is because I'm a person that believes part of emotional intelligence is the ability to think for yourself. If I have to be self aware, regulate myself, man is the emotions of others. This means I'm a thinker.
This means I'm a person that likes to make decisions that make sense to me. And if you're telling me that you all decide what I got to believe in, you no longer have to convince me logically. Like, see, I don't get into the emotional side. I'm not saying it's not real, but I'm just not a person you're not going to win me over with a whole bunch of emotion talking if it's not making sense.
All right. Hope I don't know somebody might not like it. I say that the next thing is motivation. So this other we on the third element, the third element of emotional intelligence is motivation.
Now what I love about this as a person, this show is called Aspire Guys People. If you're not subscribed on YouTube, please go to YouTube, we just hit 900 subscribers and just type in an Aspire Guys People and you will come across our channel and by our channel, I mean my channel and check out Aspire Guys People. Maybe you'll see this logo right there. So yeah, when I think about motivation or I'm gonna just say inspiration, you know, for me, inspiration is truly about like winning what's best for others.
So sometimes I might have learned, like let's say I messed up in life as a relationship, money and I spent all my money and I was broken all this stuff. And then at some point I learned about money, right, through my own experiences and whatever. And if for me, when I have a breakthrough, when I learned something, I instantly want to help other people. Like I want to give this information to somebody because I believe it could change their life.
Emotional intelligence and thinking about emotional intelligence helped change my life is one of the elements that really shakes up who I am and how I try to go through life. But I wasn't always like that. I wasn't always that mature. And so I want to give that information to other people.
So this is where the key element of emotional intelligence is motivation. And in the fourth one is empathy. And these go hand in hand to me because what I've learned along the way is that people are motivated or inspired in different ways. And so some people, you can challenge them as an example.
And some people are inspired or motivated when you challenge them, right, and maybe have a little tougher love. And some people will completely shut down if you challenge them. So part of being emotional intelligence for me as a leader, as an inspirer is understanding when to push what buttons. And to know that, hey, this doesn't work for this person and part of being empathetic, obviously being empathetic as the ability at which one can put themselves in another person's shoes.
That's not always easy, y'all. Why? Because I live life as me. I want you to think about something.
From my perspective in living life and its interaction that we have in life, from my perspective, I only know how to go at you, right? Because I've never seen myself in real life from the outside looking in. The best we could do is a mirror, a video, a camera, something like that. But you can never in real life flesh experience yourself from the outside looking in.
So a lot of us have a selfish perspective on life, rightfully so, because we've never had to see ourselves. Now, as an example for me, I get something like this podcast and a lot of us now have social media and we making videos. But this helped me tweak things about myself. Because sometimes you don't even realize how you're coming off.
I'm like, hey, there's been times that I've preached somewhere or something to speak. I could speak anywhere, right? And I'll speak and then I'll listen back or watch it back and I'll be like, oh, I know I came off like that. Like legitimately, I know I know I came off like that.
So part of emotional intelligence and that awareness of yourself and being empathetic is also trying to be understanding of how you're coming off to other people. Put yourself in their shoes and then try to lead or manage them the way you would want to be led. But then also maybe try to understand through that empathy, I might not have went through what you went through. So I do understand why you're challenged with this particular thing.
Let's take like money or poverty, right? Like I grew up in poverty in a particular way through a particular lens and ideology about money. And I don't want to get deep into that. Now we got a bunch of shows where I talk about that.
But for me, like I'm more of a tough love, like challenged type person like, oh, put the truth out there and show me all this is, this is, I read a book or some this is the statistics say, if you broke you do this, if you got money, you do that, I just changed. I want to be on the side of statistics that got money. So I don't want to be broke. So we don't change that up.
Some people, it blows me away that they don't get it that easily. But then I have to be empathetic and be like, all right, I understand because they went through this and this. But then I also have to be aware of like, well, I don't want to make this person a victim. So empathy doesn't mean acceptance.
Like so like I can be empathetic and steal challenge. This is all emotional intelligence, right? In the last key element, the final key element, the fifth one of emotional intelligence is social skills. Now amazingly enough, we are on social media.
Most people who will watch this whether live or on a replay or listen on Apple podcast will be on some form of social media. But yet somehow we have decreased our social skills, our ability to interact with one another because we go on social media and much like our life experience where we are us and we're just happening to people. If you really think of it that way, like I walk around all day and I'm happening to you, but I'm not happening to myself. So I don't get to see me and like how I come up.
So like I can look at you and judge everything about you on how you coming off, but I don't ever get to experience my own energy in that way, right? My own presence. I don't get to experience my presence in that way. I believe social media is the same.
Facebook says what's on your mind Twitter or X, say your thoughts. So we're all just pouring our thoughts at one another, but we've lost the ability to weave those thoughts together for a conversation and interaction dialogue that's healthy. And what do I mean by that? People are so emotionally triggered.
If you just mention a topic, they will like just go off. Like if I say it reproductive rights, it's people that just go off, right? That like first of all, they rebranded it as reproductive rights. I think that's the abortion debate, right?
So you have the abortion debate that depending on what side a person is on, no one wants to actually have the conversation. Everyone wants to just say what they think and go at people and lose they cool. And I just don't see how that's better for anyone. So as an example, somebody might say, hey, only women can have an opinion about that.
Let's talk about that. That's interesting to me. So you're saying that only a woman, this is I'm just sharing with you all how I think, right? Respectfully.
And if you're emotionally intelligent, this is how we would engage each other. So I'm purposely bringing up something controversial in a harmless way, and at least a well-meaning way just to discuss something to practice your emotional and intelligence skills, because you may agree with me or you may disagree with me, right? But so let's say person A says only women should be talking about this issue. I will say, you know what?
Emotionally, I can see how that triggers people and it sounds right on the surface, right? Because we live in a sensitive society. And again, we go with the first feeling that we have. Yeah, that's right.
The woman is the one pregnant. She should be the one discussing and then you call it reproductive rights. It just started being called out. I never heard that before last year.
I guess it doesn't sound as harsh or as strong as abortion. So I'm like, okay, cool. Well, are you saying that if two people were involved in something and then the one person is carrying a thing from the involvement that the carrier is the only one who makes a decision and let's just say, yes, then I'll say, okay. So imagine, me and you are business partners.
We start a business together because the last time I checked, that man has something to do with that pregnancy. All right, great. So it took two people, definitely you needed him to get that in there. Okay, cool.
So let's say me and you start a business together and I definitely had a lot to do with the money we made. But we let the it was an agreement to put the money in a safe in your office, right? So it's like, okay, this money that we made together, we equally own this business, we put it in a safe. There was never anything signed that said, um, I was signing this over to you or whatever.
Like we went into a joint business and the safe happened to be located in a property that you own. And now there's a million dollars in that safe. Are you telling me that let's flip it, right? Let's flip it.
The safe is in my house and you help me with the business. Yeah, that's how I want you to answer. You help me with this business. The safe is in my house.
It has a million dollars in it. You equally, like you equally had as much to do with making this million dollars as me. And then I tell you, no, I'm the carrier. They're my rights.
You don't get to say so with this million. It's anybody. What's a sit up and tell me that because it's your safe that the business we operated together, the money was deposited in that you have now 100% say over it. Now, let's also go a little deeper because even though I think that's a good example, money is not a child, meaning this.
Let's say what I deposited in you comes out with my face on it has my nose, my feet. It looks as my blood. Like do you understand that this is a joint business venture that was designed for some materials to go from here to there. It's a seed and a ground and the seed has to be planted in the ground.
And then it grows and produces fruit. Man, the farmer isn't the ground. So you think about a person that's a farmer, they plant the seed, they grow the fruit and then they go sell it. He's not the carrier.
What I'm saying is if I'm being emotionally intelligent, that logic doesn't pass any test. The logic is flawed because it's simply based on the surface level of emotion that gives all of the rights to someone who only did 50% of the work. Not saying that's not an important part. Not saying it.
I want to say something. Let's talk about this since the UAW and the strikes and all these things happen in the auto industry. Let's say on an assembly line, I've never worked in an automotive plant, so I'm not sure. This could be the worst example ever, but just follow me.
Let's say there's a car that we're building. So the car is the finished product. The car is the baby. I work at the front of the line.
Meaning, let's say I don't even know what job will be at the front. I'll put the first seat on the driver's side. And then your job is to do the paint job at the end. And then I go around telling people like, oh, yeah, man, I helped make this car.
You're like, no, you don't because I did the paint job at the end. All right, huh? The person at the end, don't get all the credit just because the final step of the process ends with you. Like, it don't work like that, bro.
So look, y'all tell me what y'all think. Look, I appreciate everybody who indulge this conversation of emotional intelligence. I have a strong desire to have dialogue and engage people in. I don't always have to be right.
Even with this. You might think I'm dead wrong. Like, bro, no, that's a horrible example. You ain't never built no car.
I think that the person that's the carrier should have the rights. I'm open to all of that. Only thing I'm pushing and challenging people on is that in a world where you want to silence intelligence, that's not safe. We should be able to intelligently and respectfully agree, disagree, share our thoughts.
If we have a true desire for what's best, not just for ourselves, but the world and the children and the future. And a lot of these things are affecting people's kids. And I'm like, man, your kids gonna be looking back like, how did y'all let this happen? Because you didn't want to talk about something or you didn't want to challenge status quo.
So we got to be careful with where the world I kind of feel like is going where it's all this sensitivity. I'll give you an example in Canada. I know they're about to try to pass some law that for podcasting. Matter of fact, let's look at it real quick before we get out of here.
That'd be the last thing. Canadian podcast law. Let me just look. Let's see if I can find something really, really quick.
Canada.ca. That looks like a good website to go. All right, so let's do this. Let's share and let's think about this, right?
This is this is the stuff that happens in the world around us, fam. All right, so this is what Canada.ca. This is the government and Canada website. All right, CRTC takes major step forward to modernize Canada's broadcasting framework.
Now, let's see what we're saying here. Today is advancing its regulatory plan to modernize the okay, we got that. And in short, online streaming services make meaningful contributions to Canadian and Indigenous content. All right, where's the?
I need something. Social media services must equate quick facts down here. Social media services must register. However, users do not.
Online services that offer podcasts must register. Individuals do not. Online services that only provide video game services don't have to list a register. Okay, so here's the thing.
And you can read, print it out on your own time. Canada is looking to censor and monitor and regulate podcasts. You have to think about it again. I don't know a lot about this.
I happen to see this girl across my own phone today. You got to understand like the world changed in the past few years, right? And the podcasters really became the primary source of information and entertainment in the world today. Every person on regular TV got their own podcast and the podcast, if you look at the number does more numbers than they do on regular TV.
The best example I got it and maybe an extreme example, Shanna Shark Club Shae Shae Podcast, Shanna Shark was now on first take. His club Shae Shae Podcast does over a million dollars a million dollars a million viewers episode. When you look at the live viewership when he was on undisputed, I believe they were in 150,000 viewers person viewership range per episode. Even on first take on the high end, they're in the 700s, the high end.
So what am I saying? He could put out one club Shae Shae Podcast episode that has more visibility and reach than one episode on major television. That's powerful and people want to control and regulate that. So you got to understand this thing, social media, this thing that has happened over the past, you know, 10 or 15 years and people have, I guess, felt like they have a voice or whatever.
Then we're entering a phase where that stuff is about to be regulated. And I believe that we need to be intelligent about how we vote for these things. Because I know that's Canada, that's not America, that's not US for my US listeners. We got some Canadian listeners shot off the off.
But these are things we got to be concerned about because if something is regulated, which you'll see even on social media sites today, when the pandemic was happening, there were certain things you couldn't say. And if you say that they would take your video down and it's like, bro, like we in that level of censorship where I can't even say the other side, like I can't even bring up a reasonable argument or debate. What if my point is I just want to understand? So let me bring up my concerns and then you sell me on it.