30: Helping Kids Build Executive Functioning: Common Parent Mistakes

If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “If they can’t do this now… what happens in middle school/high school/college?!”—take a breath.In this episode, I’m joined by Sean McCormick (former special ed educator and founder of Executive Function Specialists) for a grounded, hopeful conversation about how parents can support executive functioning without falling into fear, power struggles, or endless nagging.We talk about why executive function skills matter for life outcomes, how to keep a long-term view when your child is still developing, and small daily shifts that can make a big difference—like narrating your own thinking, focusing on starting (not finishing), and celebrating the tiny wins that actually build confidence.We also dig into school teamwork, IEP/goal clarity, and why we’re really aiming for interdependence—not “do it all alone.”Key Takeaways:Why fear-based “scare tactics” can backfire and increase anxiety (the opposite of executive functioning) Sean’s POSITIVE acronym for executive function skills: planning, organization, self-awareness, inhibition, time management, initiation, visualizing outcomes, and evaluating priorities The Parenting mindset shift: play the long game (because brain development takes time) How routines, consistency, and clear boundaries create the conditions for executive skills to grow A simple reframe that reduces homework battles: focus on starting tasks (even for 3 minutes) instead of finishing How “declarative language” (cueing vs commanding) helps kids make their own executive decisions  Why small wins need specific praise—and how that changes motivation over time What “interdependence” really looks like at school, and why teams matter How measurable, “proof-able” goals help everyone see progress (including your child) This episode will help if: You’re worried your child’s struggles now mean they’ll “never” be able to handle what’s next You feel stuck in a cycle of reminders, nagging, and conflict around school tasks Your child is overwhelmed by big assignments and has trouble getting started You want to support executive function at home, even though you’re not in the classroom You’re navigating a 504/IEP (or just school stress in general) and want clearer goals and better collaboration You’re trying to build your child’s confidence after lots of negative feedback at schoolResources: Learn more about Sean’s work + free resources: https://www.efspecialists.com/ NeuroDiversions conference: https://neurodiversion.org/🎒 Follow Reframe Parenting for use-now tools and strategies for school success.🌐 www.reframeparenting.com🎧 Visit www.reframeparenting.com/blog to dive into blog posts & podcast episodes to discover more school success strategies and get tools designed with you and your child in mind.Submit a Listener Question for a Future Episode💖Instagram: instagram.com/@reframeparenting🖇️Threads: threads.com/@reframeparentingWrite a review for the Unlocking School Success podcast & share a screenshot with me at [email protected] for a chance to win a free month in the School Success Library! 📝