300th Show in a row

It's alright if I have warnings, Kathy, because danger is my middle name. Who are you? 007? I am Count Danger Bucky.

That just doesn't sound right at all, goddamnit. Count 007. Count 007. It sounds like a really bad math equation.

That's you. I am a bad math equation, goddamnit. I am the anomaly. I've been watching Matrix for the last couple of days, and so now I'm all like ones and zeros and little things.

I am Neo, Kathy. We are the anomaly. The Church of COCK is the anomaly. We are in this Matrix of Sheep, and we are here to break the system.

We are the architect. How can you go from James Bond to the Matrix? Well, because I'm not that into James Bond. I'm more into it.

So you're the architect, and you're the oracle, but I want to be Neo, but I don't want to fuck Trinity because I was in that into Trinity. I was more into like the Viramindians or the Mira Vingians chick, because she looked hot in the second one. And then there was a lot of other hot chicks, but I don't want to dance. No, I'd rather go back to James Bond.

I either want to be Money Penny or Pussy Galore. Okay, Pussy Galore is pretty cool. But, goddamnit, Kathy, you know what's really important? Besides the fact that we are the leaders, the mom and dad of the Church of COCK, which you are now on if you are on perverted podcast, if you are listening to perverted podcast for the first time, welcome my children to the Church of COCK, Church of Consensual Kink, that desire.

Catherine, Elder Catherine. Yeah, why Elder? Well, because Elders and Deacons and it's just a title in the Church. It doesn't mean like, of course we were more like, wait a minute, none of this shit matters.

This is show 300. The following show is for mature audiences only. Listener discretion is advised. And if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself.

One, two, three, four. Do you feel your sex life is quite lame? Scared that your desires might be strange? Come and join the Kinky Souls of Play.

The Ferdinga Guy. Fireworks, motherfucker! Hello, welcome to Perverted Podcasts, the show we explore. The Adventures of the Kinky Lifestyle, Sex and Perversion.

Recording live tonight on our 300th show, I'm Kathy. I am Count Boogie and, goddamnit, Kathy, the excitement of my day besides 300 episodes in a row. And we got a fun show, some listeners sending greetings, we're going to play a lot of those. And I'm just looking forward, Kathy.

This morning, I knew it was going to be a good day because I pulled into storage to get ready for the show. And I'm eating my sandwich where I take scissors and I cut a loaf of sourdough bread in half. And I poke sandwich meat in it and I have horseradish mustard and that's an avocado. And I was eating that and I'm like, this is a good sandwich.

I'm getting ready for the day. And then all of a sudden I hear, squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk. And I'm like, what the hell is that? It sounds like a whole herd of birds chirping.

And I look in front of me, Kathy, and just like the oracle from the Matrix, it was a sign, Kathy, that we are on the right path because right in front of me, while eating my sandwich, preparing mentally for show 300 of perverted podcast, there it was in front of me, a sparrow gang bang. What? Sparrow gang bang, Kathy. There was like fucking eight sparrows all trying to fuck this one sparrow.

And they were just losing their shit. Squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk. And I'm just eating my sandwich, watching this sparrow gang bang happening. And I'm like, wow, man, she should be like using her claws and just like reaching around.

There's so many of them trying to get on this one. And then one was stuck inside of her, Kathy. And so they're all trying to get in. But then I realized maybe it's not a sparrow gang bang.

It actually looked like one of those sex parties where like two people actually fuck. And then like 20 desperate guys like try to get as close as they can and jerk off around it. I think you've been to too many of these orgies. If you say that.

Wait, okay. So I have to get an actual image in my head. Were you sitting there calmly chewing your sandwich, just watching it go down. That is exactly what I was like.

Sparrow gang bangs. They're going and like this doesn't really look consensual. Let's sit here and watch what happened. What am I going to do?

I'm going to go. Hey, you guys cut out nature. Stop it. Stop nate.

Stop nate. Stop nature. Stop doing the thing. Like, and I thought about that.

I'm like, what am I supposed to do? And I just start blanking into my sandwich. I'm like, I don't know. Let's see how this unfolds.

All right. Now, now be honest. Okay. I'm going to ask you a question.

I'm ready. Was somewhere in your mind the thought of she was probably asking for it. I was not victim blaming. And who knows?

I don't know if this was birds, you know, consensual non consent. I don't know. She like set up like was one of the sparrows that was jerking off trying to get in there. Was that her like daddy dominant that hit a range the gang bang, you know, to kind of make sure that everything kind of goes okay.

Because you know, consensual non consent can look non consensual. I don't know. I'm just saying maybe she enjoyed it for all we know. Oh, I know.

If she flew away with a smaller sparrow stuck in her and that was the end of my entertainment. Oh, and I'm like, well, there they go. Shoot you. Oh, just go.

Fight into my sandwich. So sparrow gang bang. So that's the thrill that I got before I went to prepare for the show. Kathy, what, what did you do this week?

Did you get in some sort of creative explorer? Did he squawk and stick his appendage in you? Yes. Well, he didn't squawk.

There was no flapping of feathers, but he did stick his appendage in me. Nice. Yes. And I got, I did.

Okay. So this was on Saturday. I spent the weekend with him and I got me some dick on Saturday. It was good.

Good. And then Sunday rolls around and because he had been up early and I had been up late and either one of us had gotten enough sleep. So happy during the day. We took a little nap.

Well, I took a nap and then he came and lied down next to me. And I was even I was tired. I'm all, you know, I'm feeling a little bit randy. Oh, behave.

It's a good thing I brought my Lilo series vibrator because creative explorer, the big lump. He's just lying there sleeping. So I reach over and I turn it on and I realize he's kind of half sleeping. And so when I realized he's awake, I said, do you mind if I masturbate?

Is this going to bother you? And he's all no, go ahead. Oh, the romance. There's no romance.

The romance is gone, man. It flew away like it had wings. Hey, if I jerk my meat flaps next to you, is that going to bug you sleeping beauty? Nah, fuck it.

Phew. Where's I hate? If he had snored, I would not have even been surprised. But I, you know, it's like before, if this had been like three years ago, I probably would have been very self conscious, but now I'm like, you know, I've heard him fart in front of me.

I've seen him do all kinds of disgusting shit. I've watched his splooge just squirt out of him. I think that I am okay masturbating in front of him. You're here.

Yes, but I did. I had a kind of a sad thought because I was pretty pathetic, actually. I thought, here is a guy next to me. I am feeling a little randy.

Maybe I could ask him to fuck me. I mean, I know that's a crazy thought. It's insane. It's the audacity.

And I thought, I can't believe that in all the time he and I've known each other, I've never instigated sex because it's very much a part of the dynamic where he just takes what he wants and I absolutely love that. It really gets me, you know, excited. It's great. But in all the time we've been together, I've never instigated and I actually felt a little self conscious about doing it.

And I'm like, huh, that's unusual. If it had been any other relationship, I wouldn't have had any trouble asking for it. But this is a new one for me. I think I'm going to have to find a way to, as a submissive, say, you know, hey, can you fuck me and make it sound submissive?

I don't know. I got to find some way of making it happen. Show 300 challenge for cat day. This was even a fucking self motherfucker.

I don't know when you just sparrow gang bangs. Just sparrow gang bangs. You'll start flapping your labia on his dick. You'll grab it with your kind of, you know, start getting them hard.

Can't you just like reach over and be like, I'm just going to play with this dick. All right. I wasn't going to tell you this part of the story, but he was kind of lying, happy sleeping at some point I gave up masturbating because I had all these fucking thoughts in my head. And I did turn over and come up on him and start sucking his dick thinking maybe that's a good way to do it.

Well, there are two things that will, while I'm sucking his dick that will make it go soft. One is that he's thinking about shit and I can always tell because he's wide awake and his dick starts to go soft and what the fuck are you thinking about because his, it's like blood has to go either to his penis or to his head. And when he starts thinking about some fucking computer problem, his dick gets on it or he falls asleep. Please say yes.

Please. He fell asleep. God can't be. I know.

It's horrible. Well, this isn't working. I got to find another way of telling him I want him to fuck me because I just I don't know. My life is pathetic.

I'm telling you. Oh, I've heard about guys at gmail.com. I keep putting it out there. We got to bring him in.

We need Kathy some dick or vet now we're now we're on Vatch Patrol again because she's molesting fucking flowers and breaking them which by the way for those of you that are just tuning in for the first time Kathy now is so desperate for vagina that she actually rubs flowers until they break and just like any flower just like I told you I would because you were like oh you know if vagina that's not fragile remember my Michelle oh and you just play with my Michelle you're damn right I called her the next day. You are that why I received the text from yesterday saying hey you want to Melissa my baby I get this fucking email from her out of the blue after months of just no contact Boogie I swear to God you swear to God if you pass this up you suck you suck balls I pimple for you she likes you you like her you like her vagina you have a sad row reasons to not wait with her. She's got kids at her place and I have no place you know what work those are details you guys chip it go on fucking travel after you're whatever this fucking sites are and shipping 25 bucks each and get a motel. I am a 55 year old woman who has nowhere to have sex if it's not a creative.

I just said did you just ignore it. I'm not spending money like that where are we going with this conversation. Twenty five bucks twenty if you guys both chip in twenty five and twenty five you get a motel you have a nice night you have some sandwiches you're fucking licensed festive motel. You are just a piece of work aren't you every bit of denial you are not fooling anyone you are afraid you want something so bad but you're a god damn it Kathy.

You know I'm not you who's willing to have sex between a shower curtain boogie. Yeah I'm sick I'm on motel I want to do you want me to chip in your twenty five bucks because I'll do it. Oh my god. I'll do it just so you can have an experience that is different from creative explorer which is a good experience.

I am getting together with her in a couple of weeks we're going to have breakfast together okay and I will try and maybe get some sort of little play event going okay are you happy now because I live to make you happy don't I you should because you're making yourself happy oh snap I said it I said it I'll just I'll just friend on you blow I will I will friend on you which I okay no whatever I don't think so whatever fine let's move on. Happy three hundred seven it's weekend I love how the show makes me smile and laugh and get a little bit wet. I'm not a she go the future and I always love how honest the podcast is and quite frankly how frank the host start with each other. So it's just fixing here what I love about the podcast is you guys always tackle situations in real time you run through things you change your mind on things and you're not scared to leave it in for us all to hear that everybody's journey is unique.

Hi bookie hi Kathy it's just a little old garbage game mail here to say congratulations on three hundred episodes in the bag. Thank you for all the laughs and shenanigans the stories and experience the relatability and the sense of community and reporting so much of yourselves into what you do looking forward to what the future holds for the show love you guys keep being awesome. If it like is the play ladies about genital torture and subspace we share I can't get thrills from around the world. Yeah but if I gas talking about that life moto fucker.

Why are a piece of my please know that the author of every post we talk about has specifically granted us permission to do so and this week we have a post from our friend page turner who happens to be one of our resident authors has given us blanket permission I don't know why way I haven't pulled stuff from her before. Oh I know because just like Barrett she has ridiculously long but amazing posts that are always difficult for me to cut up. Ahhh. This time she wrote a one that was relatively easy that you had found bogey it's called I thought be friends first with silly relationship advice until it accidentally happened to me.

And she says I used to be a person who scoffed at the advice that it was better to be friends first with those you date. It seemed rather untenable. Why wouldn't you start dating someone right away if you felt a strong spark why wait and wouldn't it be kind of weird to date your friends after knowing them for a while. I was quite skeptical and I thought it was silly.

I met a guy that I found very physically attractive at a time when I was poly saturated and he himself was busy. I ended up establishing a friendship with him anyway and the more we talked the more I realized we had in common and not just superficial stuff but deep stuff things that mattered our values aligned eerily well and before I knew it he'd basically become my best friend. About a year after we went out to dinner and it went so well that he eventually became my boyfriend and then my husband. But the most surprising part of it all is that he never stopped being my friend and I never stopped being his.

The reality is that I had already seen peaks of how he could be when he was at his worst and he got the same information about me. I knew what I was getting into. It's just not the same dating a stranger you made online and hadn't had enough time to really get to know. I tried.

I honestly did. But the experience has been so difficult that I treated these days as a last resort. Kathy. Aha.

Very interesting post and I had a great time reading it and pontificating ponder some of those other P words around this because some of the comments were really good because I tried to read some of the comments and see what other people say. I don't know if it was the original poster or one of the commenters that talked about one of the examples that they gave about not knowing. Like this person met a guy who they got along really good and they started dating I guess right away. But they didn't know how they were in public and the guy in public was like a complete asshole to people or something.

And so it was like, eh, I just found out like there's always these things that you're going to find out. There's like all of these things that you check off before it's too late. But you can't if you just kind of jump into that relationship. Like how are they going to be socially?

How are they going to if you have to introduce them to family? You know, core beliefs, things like that. And I hear a lot of people talk about that in negative experiences. But then I'm like, well, how many times have I actually waited before starting a relationship with somebody?

And other than like with me, we didn't have sex for five months, I guess that kind of counts. Like we still play it and we were still doing things. And then one of the girlfriends that I first had when I got in the life while we didn't have sex until we had committed to a relationship which was like, you know, a month and a half or something like that. But other than that, I don't have an example of this, but I have a lot of thoughts about this.

But have you ever had this situation? For me, it's common to be that. I'm not somebody who can have sexual relationships easily with someone without getting to know them. I'm just not a demisexual and who the person is doesn't just have a little to do with my sexual arousal.

It has everything to do with it. I cannot get sexually interested in someone unless I know them. So it's a bit of a handicap, frankly. So to me, this post doesn't really, it doesn't speak to me at all, of course, because I can't see any other way of doing it.

And it's not due to my, I don't know, some determination on my part to only sleep with people I'm friends with. It's just the way I'm wired. I actually wish I wasn't because it would be kind of cool to be able to have one night stands. It just leaves me cold and dry.

I can't stand it. And I was reading this post and I'm looking back at all my relationships and yeah, pretty much all my significant relationships. I knew the person for quite a while at the very least, the shortest I knew someone was three months before we started, you know, and we didn't go all the way. That one was, there was a lot of exploring at first.

So yeah, hard for me to put myself in someone else's place who doesn't do it that way because I have zero experience with it. So in other words, that's what you do all the time. So that's why this post, what you're saying you didn't relate to was how it was strange to the poster to have this be because you're like that. Yeah.

Okay, that makes sense because you're like, I can't personally relate to it because I don't understand. I've never experienced it before intellectually. I can 100% understand it because as I said, if I had the ability to do that, I would absolutely take it. Not every relationship that you embark on is going to be the one.

So I don't necessarily see if you weren't mean, I didn't have this compulsion that I have to get to know somebody first. I wouldn't really let that hold me back unless I were on the hunt for the one, then my goal is different. And then I absolutely want to get to know that. But I don't know that that that's the goal every time you meet somebody.

So I think that's really interesting that you point that out because it so many people get hung up and getting a little bit away from the demisexual part. So many people are hung up on the one or punching the clock or I'm supposed to be in this relationship at this time that they kind of shoot themselves in the foot and not get into relationships that have also developed because some relationships that even start out is like, well, this isn't maybe we don't relate as the one, but we're going to get into this relationship. Some of those relationships, like especially me and you, we've been doing this now for six years. I'm not a type of relationship, but that relationship started and I talked to her about it this morning and she laughed.

That relationship started as there is no way in hell. You are ever going to be my boyfriend. There is no way in hell. I am ever going to have sex with you.

There is no way in hell. You're ever, I can't bring you to my family. I can't, it was, it was established what that this was not a boyfriend, girlfriend, nor would it ever be. And as we, and I'm just like, well, I get out of you amazing things of what I get out of you and you're an interesting person, totally understand, you be you.

And then I started, of course, slipping the drugs into her drinks, you know, over time, over time, over time, over time. And eventually the oxytocin kicked in and she's like, why do I want to be in a relationship with this fucker? But no, what was, so is kind of the opposite, you know, being okay with that get to know you process obviously developed into just an amazing relationship that has taken on many forms and is now in a very different form right now, intellectually looking at this post, but you can absolutely see that you minimize risk because the poster talked very specifically about that. I now know how this person reacts in a bad situation.

I know when they're not in their best light, like when you become friends with somebody after a while, you start to see their good and bad points, which if you just jump into a relationship, then obviously you're going to be surprised, like the one person said about yeah, he was great one on one and a complete anti social asshole in public. So there, I totally agree at these benefits and I don't think I'm opposed necessarily to those things because I do, I'm okay with rejection. I don't like it. It sucks and it feels bad, but I've had a number of people that rejected me and then maybe we didn't get into relationship, but ended up playing after a couple years of knowing them.

That's true. You know, there's an advantage to failing that you're no longer afraid of it. Right, right. And it does sometimes work out, but then again, on the other hand, getting to that, well, how can I make this relate to the listener that doesn't?

Because like Bunny and I, we pretty much had sex for the first date and it was awesome and it is still awesome. And I still, that was like almost three years ago or more than three years ago. And we are still, once again, that relationship, you know, has taken its own shape, but there's still a lot of love there. And it's been an amazing relationship, even though we did just jump right into dating.

But I think the important thing is, is if you are dedicated to staying with people that are good communicators, then ultimately, whether you start dating or be friends for a while, you have a better chance of staying in that relationship. You have a better chance of that relationship turning into something that's valuable, even if it transforms into something else or ends. Because people are always worried like, oh, I don't want to start dating my friend because I'm afraid I'm going to lose the friendship. But if you're in a position to where you have, because it's the same with a relationship, if you have good communication in that relationship, almost all of my past relationships, that door is wide open and we still communicate some people, some more than others.

But because we had that communication, the relationship didn't have to end shitty. It ended for whatever reasons it ended. And that's still available. So I think if you're good communicators and you make that your mandatory, you know, make or break, then I think you have a better chance of that relationship going regardless of whether you are friends for a certain amount of time for it.

Yeah, those are good examples. You with a new, not having sex for a while and instead with Bunny having sex right away, you just never know where it's going to go. And they both turned out to be great relationships. They absolutely did.

So then I would always prefer that my dick is involved as quickly as possible. Naturally. Naturally. And just wanted to say that, like if there's women out there, because you know, there's hordes of 300 episodes, we got some fans, there's some women folk out there.

Women folk, are they beating down your door? Well, I don't have a permanent door, so they don't know where to go. It's not like I'm driving down the street and they're like, we found them, we found them. But I just want you to know, I don't like doing that.

And I don't really want to do that anymore. I'm too old. I really don't want a relationship, I mean, to be honest. And I think that that ultimately is the best way to find a good relationship.

I have never in my life found a good relationship when I am trying to find a good relationship. I have never, because you're forcing it, you're punching, you're settling, you're lowering your bar, you're trying to fit people into categories that they don't fit in, because you're punching a clock and you're trying to find the one and you have less of a rejection rate, because you're like, shit, my clock is running. So I think it's very unauthentic to yourself to try to find a soulmate or whatever, instead of just meeting people and letting those relationships build how they build. Right.

Plus you're you. Yes, I don't know what that means. That's you are a guy and you are a self-proclaimed predator. Right.

So of course you're going to want to stick your dig in as soon as possible. Yes. But yes. But even if I didn't, I don't think you should ever look for a soulmate.

I don't think that's a, oh man, I don't like bringing anybody down, but I think that's just a fucking recipe for decision. It is. And first off, the idea that there's only one person that you can physiologically connect with or emotionally connect with, you've now just destroyed, and we've talked about this a lot of times and you had really strong feelings. You automatically destroy the potential for many amazing relationships, because you're so specific about what you want.

You're not really even concerned about another human being connecting. You're just punching your clock and this person fits the category. Okay, great. Happily ever after, you know, cut to credits.

Mm-hmm. Fuck you. Let's just wrap. Let's wrap.

I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. Happy three hundred seven.

So, we... Hi, Kathy. Hi, Boogie. It's Pat and Bob here from the UK who'd have thought three years on.

We've had bugs. We've had a hail. We've had a hurricane. Without all kinds of weird stuff going on.

Never mind. All the wonderful, kink positive stuff. Thanks for the support. Thanks for being there for us guys.

Let's keep it running. Hey, it's Mandi. I always like how straightforward and honest the host are with each other and with everyone. Hey, it's wet.

Really enjoy hearing Boogie and Kathy go back and forth like an old-fessionery couple. I think you need to start working out with your tongue a little bit more. It has been a long time since I have fucking pleasure to woman with my mouth. Oh my God.

Even behind a shower curtain? My God, I would kill like, Hey, hey, you and the try through. Hey, hey, stop molesting. I'm just literally licking at the window.

Okay. They just looked at me. Sorry. That was awkward.

See what happens? And the police are coming. Kathy, I have questions for you because now we're going to do something we haven't done in a long time. Remember this segment?

There's always a kink you don't know about yet. So let's learn one now on fetish roulette. Kathy. Yes, boogie.

Does solar radiation make you crave vaginal violation? Oh my God. Does the sun in the sky make your clitoris say, Hi, does sun burn on a guy's worm? Make him yearn to find a hole to dump his sperm?

Oh my God. If you said yes to any of these, Kathy, you may have a fetish called Actarassy, Actarass, switchers, fuck it. Arousal by the sun's rays and a fetish for either masturbating or having sex in the sun is our fetish. Relate today.

We haven't done fetish roulette in a long time, Kathy. It has been a tremendously long time. But we're bringing it back because that's just the kind of rock stars that we are. So this was a really good one.

The thing, one of the reasons that we stop doing fetish roulette is because there's these fetishes that are listed and they're all listed in urban dictionaries, but there's very little study and research on any of the fetishes. Like we've had a dendrophilia, the attraction to trees. We had a lot of really cool ones. So I really try to find things that I can at least find some stuff.

And I don't know if you ever heard this, because I know my personal experience, Kathy. I know a lot of women that say they get horny in sunlight. Like when they lay out, I have a friend that masturbates every time and she's hot too. She masturbates every time she goes into a tanning booth because it just it arouses her.

And I've heard this for years. Do you get turned on in the sun? OK, so I am going to say that when I saw what that we were going to be talking about. I thought, well, that's weird, because I don't think I've ever gotten sexually aroused, but I have gotten sensually aroused because I am a total.

I love impact play. I do, but I love more sensation play. And the reason is that the skin being the largest organ in the body has tremendous capacity for making you feel all kinds of different things all along the spectrum. So since I was young and my teens, when I had a young, fit, pretty body, I loved being out in the sun.

And it wasn't it. Of course, I'm going to say it's for many reasons. You're young, you look good, you want to put on a bikini, being at the beach feels good. There are all kinds of reasons why you love doing that.

But there was always at the core of all of that, I just loved the sensation of the sun on my skin because it played all it was like if you're doing any kind of sexual play with somebody, what you're feeling is going to be relegated to the area in which someone is playing you on. If they're touching your legs, if they're touching your breasts, your neck, you're they're kissing you, it's your lips. But when you're lying in the sun, it's like the sun is rubbing its hands all over you. Every part of your body that that sun is shining on.

Yeah. Amazing. And I can remember one time. I mean, I loved it.

I always loved it. I've always loved the way the sun feels on my skin. As I got older, I realized, yeah, you just fucking ruined your skin because now you're an old fat lady. And look at all the damage.

The sun did. I'm all, I don't care. I would have done it. I still would have gotten back in time and done it anyway because it feels amazing.

And I can remember one time being in my bedroom, taking an app. And I just happened to be the time of the day and the time of the year where the sun was shining into my window. Do it. Do it, Kathy.

Why, why, why I was half asleep, you know, in that lovely half asleep half awake, dreamy state where you know what's going on. And the sun, it was perfect book because the sun wasn't actually hitting my face. So I wasn't, it wasn't that uncomfortable. I'll get the sun out of my eyes.

I have that my sunglasses on. Yeah, let's go on, go on. There were people in the house. I could, I knew that they were there, but my door was closed and I just felt so wonderful.

I felt like I was being cradled by the sun. And to this day, it's not the most powerful orgasm I've ever had, but it was the most, the easiest and quickest that I've ever had because I just, it just felt so good that I just reached down and went at it. And within a couple of minutes, I was done and I just breathed the sigh of relief and just rolled over and went back to sleep in the sun. And I just woke up feeling so refreshed.

I will never forget that day. It just, everything happens so easily. Wow. Dear penthouse.

Like Neil, like I could just see Neil deGrasse Tyson jerking off right now, listening to your story. Why Neil deGrasse Tyson? Well, because, you know, astrophysics and he's all about the, you know, stars and astronomy astronomy and, you know, suns and stuff like that. And just picturing this, you know, this evil dominance, life-giving sun reaching down and just wrapping its little flaming arms all around this young, horny, big sin and going, Oh, play with yourself for daddy's son.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. Wait, there's a person sitting next to me.

They're looking at me strangely. Stop doing that. You're going to get in trouble. I might have touched my dick.

So whatever. Oh, but here's the thing about the sun that I'm sure I would love to hear more stories about. This pervertipodcastardgmail.com. How do you get aroused by sun?

Have you masturbated in the sun? Have you had sex in the sun? There was actually a lot of very validating research on this because, of course, studies have shown spring and summer, higher sex drives because more sun equals more vitamin D processing in your system with guys. Vitamin D is directly associated with your testosterone levels.

In women, there is a hormone that's released that affects your sexuality. That's released by exposure to sunlight and it's a melanocytes stimulating hormone, MSH. And so which makes a lot of sense because I'm more here. Women talk about their sexuality in the sun than men.

I hear women talk about the sun all the time, where I don't, you know, maybe I'll hear a guy be like, Oh, yeah, I like being out in the sun. But women tend to have more of a relationship with that sunbathing and tanning. I think then men and maybe it's because that hormone is released in it. Creates more serotonin is released in sunlight, which is a feel good hormone.

So there's actually a lot to it. There's even one study and where was at a Boston State Hospital reported 15 to 20 minutes of sun equals a hundred and 20% increase in testosterone. Now listen to this. Sun directly on your junk increases your testosterone level 200%.

Yeah. So if you go into the sun and flip on your back and tan your junk and butthole, which there's a whole thing called like, butthole, sun yoga thing where like people, just the poor fucking son has to just look down and see humans laying on their back, spread eagle, trying to get sunlight on their assholes. And it's just the poor son just wanted to masturbate young women. And now all of a sudden it's just, it's just everyone, everyone's butthole, just whatever, but there is a lot to it.

So, um, but as far as the fetish, I don't know where the fetish comes in. Like maybe it's like, Oh, every time you're in direct sunlight, you get an erection and you can't control yourself or, you know, so pervert bodgas at gmail.com. If you understand this as a fetish, we'd like to hear about it and talk about it again. But it is nice to know that something that I've heard about for a long time, that there is actually a lot of physiology to it.

That story though, Kathy. Hey everybody. It's path girl and I wanted to say Kathy and boogie. Congratulations on your 300th episode.

That is an amazing accomplishment on a personal note. I really wanted to thank you guys for helping me through some of the darkest times of my life by making me laugh my ass off and also tackling so many difficult topics, which make me have hard conversations with myself and my partners, making both my kinky and vanilla lives so much better. So from the bottom of my little black coffee heart, thank you for all that you do for us listeners. It makes me proud to say I take it hard to be the church of talk, love you guys.

I got mail boogie. Kathy, I want to hear that mail. Little burble. Give us mail and Value.

Zero. 300 episodes. It is, I have an email from Jenny Bean. I love that name who says listening to perverted podcast has completely changed my outlook on my sexuality for the first time in my life Having fantasies about weird shit is not only okay, but entirely normal and to be celebrated and enjoyed But you know what with that comes a responsibility because in order to be satisfied I have to communicate I have to open my mouth take a breath and expel the air into words Yes, obviously communication can happen in other ways, but if I can't say stop I don't like that then playing isn't gonna be fun You'll simply add to the trauma that's already arisen because of my inability to communicate But perverted podcast has given me both the language to begin talking and the belief that what I want is allowed I want to send you all the most heartfelt thanks You have impacted my life for the better and I truly am so grateful You say you're not therapist, but you've done more for me in this area of my life than a therapist ever could We are the rapists.

It is true. But Kuro wrote to us. He says to start I want you to know that my partner and I are in an open relationship and we have discussed this situation there's a woman that I'm attracted to who's attracted to me and the subject of Physical relationships have come up more than a few times I try to be very open-minded and I consider myself heterosexual Anyway, this woman is married and her husband knows about me Then she brought up the idea of doing a scene where he wouldn't struck me on how to dumb her And that actually sounded kind of hot to me And I thought it would be an interesting scene then she started talking about him joining into a physical sexual relationship With the two of us because he's bisexual too When I started writing up this email I thought I was gonna ask for advice on what I should do however as I write this out and I say it out loud I realize I already know I was asked to do something that sounded hot and I was all for it Then I was asked to do something that I was uncomfortable with and really had no interest in Felt a lot like the terms of the scene kept changing in a way that made me uncomfortable So it's less that I need advice and more that I'm letting you know I've decided this is one of those situations that I'm uncomfortable with and that I'm not gonna force myself into It's not like it would be my first time in a three-way with another man It's more about knowing that I'm uncomfortable and it's okay to say that I am uncomfortable Okay, I did all that through voice to text felt good to really talk about it Even if I'm not really actively talking with the other moment boogie Kathy Thank you for all your help in this situation. I feel much better You know what I think we actually needed to be here with this conversation Let's see words.

That's the thing about perverted podcast. That's how good we are It's so good. Let's be just there. We just there with you.

We like that little fucking cuz oooh shit on your shoulder Hello, Fatso Hello, dumb dumb Maybe you shouldn't do that if you're not into it you should be more comfortable with yourself No, that's not how we are but it is the it is the purpose of the church of cock is Accountability because the message goes out every week and we find new shit to talk about and it's usually surrounding Identity self-actualization being okay with yourself communicating and we just repetition repetition repetition and that's the sermon That's the weekly sermon But what is really effective about the church of cock is that it is a family of accountability You feel because we do this every week and some people have been with us since very very early on that it really is Like we're there with you All of those sermons all of that repetitive, you know pounding in your head to be okay with your stuff and and be able to speak for yourself It just gives you that confidence in that moment where normally you would be on your own and I think that's what's cool about having a show It really is it was kind of funny to watch him go through this whole cycle all by himself where he started asking the question Then he pretty much answered it himself and then he figured and I'll email the melee way to tell them what I thought of but you know What maybe that's kind of cool like you said where the angel and the the devil on his shoulder That's the that actually like that better than kazoo. That's it. So am I the devil because you surely splutch your weight you Oh, no, I'm perfect at an angel all the time you are a pathological liar in this moment and complete denial about the reality That is said Kathy Absolutely dare you dare you you are quite a devil sometimes Not exactly a term. I mean is pain in the ass equate to devil I don't know exactly if that's the same but if you could be the angel and pain in the ass, you know That could be good.

That's the thing. Okay. I mean hey, it's the church of cock. We can do whatever we want You're like I'm an angel and now I'm just gonna go and start poking you with a needle in your ass until you do something different in your Person what angels do that?

I don't want to be sodomized by an angel. It'll be like that sparrow gangbang They got their wings and they're like let me fuck you. Let me fuck you. Let me oh my god This is angel rape is that a new thing angel gangbang rape?

That's what we're now doing well You just got to work out because it's kind of a mess but we still exist There's still angels and they're very rapey like dolphins Like the pigeons getting their pigeons for their sparrow squeeze Witchy squeegee all over the angel spooch Tastes like holy water blast beam show 300 this god's day Nick mah, Nick mah, you are fucking a Nick mah psycho fucking a Nick mah and Nick I am so happy to talk to you today. I am very happy to talk to you about it It's been a little while goddamn it not only is it amazing because here you are with us on show 300 But but we're actually going to do because it's like to the Barbara podcast listeners, you know, enigma does social enigma Which is like the current events and stuff that's going on sexually in the world and that's great But I'm like, you know enigma has no street cred right now because it's like it's a pandemic And we're always talking about you jerking off in your master-patient chair And I'm like the listeners need to know that at some point in space in time Enigma was a sexual rock dog gangster. It's true. They need to know they need to understand this so I'm like well Let's do a little you know for show 300 let's up enigma's game Okay, cuz you got a story you you would you would written about something where you talked about Co-topping with a certain person and then it turned into like some ula la.

Yes, so let's talk about that All right, sure so this will happen back in Texas where I'm from and at the time I was in a poly triad with these two other girls and The way that the way the dynamic kind of worked is me and this other girl We were both switches and then the third person was a bottom And so we'd kind of been talking about stuff and we kind of been casually playing but we'd haven't we hadn't had like a scene a dedicated scene for the three of us so what we did is we went to this party They call it primal. It's just this outdoor play party This guy kind of set up kind of an outdoor dungeon with like a couple of crosses It keep built like a kong style thing where you can like hang a girl or a partner whoever like between two posts It's it's and then you have like a couple of campfires and grill it and stuff So like it's it's a pretty fun time also people tend to camp out so like you do kinkin and you get to camp out with your people so the three of us decided to do this and Looking when I say that it was just kind of a almost magical evening I like so we got our partner We got the sub up on the cross and then just me and my other the switch partner just like The fluidity of the vibe like I would do stuff to the sub and then she would come over and she would start doing stuff and it like Not many words were spoken just like this beautiful like going with the sounds going with the noises going like going from sharp to study Like I was way more gentler of a of a top than my other switch is so she like I would do like nice stuff and then she would come in and be brutal It was it was very much good cop had cop and I don't want us I don't know how long we were up there had it been like 30 minutes or something 30 minutes to an hour I'm just going back and forth and torturing our poor little girl and then She got to what she called red and so we stopped we slowly like very very kindly like put everything away And we're like all right, let's let's go and and just hang out with like the people for a little while And so we went to the campfire and we ate a little bit and drank a little bit and when I say a little bit I mean like ten minutes and then it was like all right I think we're gonna go to the tent for more aftercare. Yes, and so the three of us went to the tent and Immediately closed were off and it was just a delightful evening of orgasms and kissing and vaginas and my penis and it was just a beautiful evening of sex And what was even more fun was like at as we're playing like we would stop and like there were other people camping too And it became this almost like leapfrog of sex like we would play for a little while We would inspire other people who are sleeping in their tent to get get going and so they would start having sex And then that would inspire somebody else to have sex and then come back around us So like it was just a fun night of shenanigans And then the most memorable part for her like the whole thing was been memorable Oh, it was just really funny to like get up in the morning with like a few other people who were left by the time We woke up and I was just sitting there like drinking water and the switch because our bottom was a very good bottom when like she started like taking down the tent and taking down like putting all of our stuff away and The the switch partner does comes over and I'm of course killed it because if you don't know me Well, like that's that's usually my kink garbage. I'm in the camp That's my jam and I she walks over to me And I'm just like standing there just like drinking water or something whatever drinks I had in the morning and she just walks over and just like slips her hand under my under my kilter starts It means like good morning on it.

Yes, and it was just yes That is so much yes from the flow like I know what you're talking about because usually co-topping Because like you know bunny was more of a switch and and coming into her switchy side where she liked the top And then of course mu and a lot of the other partners were more like they like bottoms So when it gets to that point to where you're already kind of in a thing with each other But you start getting into that flow of co-topping together where it just naturally Kind of happens and when you said we didn't even have to say a lot of words. I'm like yes, yes the flow thing Yeah, that is an amazing amazing. So now I think what's really cool about hearing the story not just because it's the fact that We know you don't just jack off in a chair I think that's very important for our listeners to know but what's important is because you and I are kind of in the same boat We're you and I during the pandemic are both isolated from our partners Whereas some people are isolated with their partners. So they still get to have that intimacy So you and I are like the other people out there that are kind of I don't want to be all buttered But we're kind of a little lonely I think it's important to kind of relive some of those great moments We're not just about fucking or getting off But just talking about the flow and intimacy of play that we have had And knowing that we are capable to have that again.

Oh, absolutely that totally makes sense like there's there's there's a there are orgasms with other people I think into the rainbow and and we will all get there soon. I'm I'm definitely looking forward to it my It looks like because of my job I can I will be able to get the vaccine in the next within the next month. So that's really exciting I can put that on my dating profiles. It's like a I'm vaccinated.

How did you get a vaccine? You're a kid you're a whipper snapper I'm a delivery driver. Oh god damn it for with I deliver food God damn well good for you at least you're gonna be back on the market probably sooner than I am I'm now literally buttered but but god damn it couldn't happen to a nicer guy and Nigma I'm really excited to see you get back in action And I've known you've been a big pervert for a long time But it's nice that the perverted audience gets to hear some of your shenanigans from the past and once again look forward to us getting back in action Here in the future with brand new sexy stories to tell the listeners I definitely look forward to sharing all of the shenanigans that will be happening as soon as possible We are gonna end the show but before we do our show and I have to play you the final greeting From not only our listeners, but our glorious show sponsor Headley who has been there for us as all of our patrons have been there for us But just a little bit extra as the show sponsor and here is what Headley had to share with us If every episode were a bubble of champagne, I would shake my bottle like a horse in rains If every episode were a tin foil hat, I would orbit gonads around booble-loite fat If every episode were a jellyfish in a bra, I would electrify myself in a glee-glee in a French woodwaar If every episode were a sailor ship, I would blow my wand at each thrust of the hip If every episode were a bale of hay, I would spin the gold into a collar for a pet play So many more PPP episodes let's hear for Kathy and Boogie get better each year Oh my god, I can't tell you how much I just squeezed this into that Thank you so much for joining us for a perverted podcast show 300 You know normally I do my usually poorly disguised attempt at humility and ask you all to maybe chip into help out the show But today on this epic show, I'm gonna give you all a break and just say you have all made mine and boogie's days better And filled with purpose by allowing us into your lives once a week. That I say thank you.

Thank you to all of our listeners Especially our patreon supporters if you'd like to talk to us or ask us any questions, please Don't hesitate to email at pervertedpodcast at gmail.com or visit us on fitlife.com on our group and our Oops our profile appropriate. We called perverted podcast. I actually forgot the name of our profile 300 episodes Kathy. I think what we have proven 400 episodes is at no point in history going forward going backward Have we ever once even for a second been a mainstream professional podcast?

We have we have been a cyclone train wreck for 300 episodes and it's just I had so many visions of what this show was going to be and cyclone perverted train wreck is just what it has to be I of course I always want to get better and I always want to try to thrive to do better things for the listeners and grow but ultimately What we do is is just build that island so we can all be together and just like we see week after week and letter after letter That we just be together as a family navigating a crazy life of misery suffering laughter and hopefully good moments And that's it. That's the trick. We're just together doing this every week. I don't know how many weeks more This is going to go on.

We've done 300. I guess fuck it, Kathy. Do you want to do 301 next week? What the hell boogie?

Let's uh in for penny and profound let's do 301 Well, then god damn it. We will do our best to see you guys next week for 301 Children of dysfunctional families unite Children of dysfunctional families unite Did you dare get drunk and beat the crap out of you? Well, that makes us pros because my dad did that shit too Does every holiday gathering end when the police show up and take someone in your family to jail? Does your mom sabotage everything you try to do in life because she's jealous that you're still young and hot She's getting old with second titties.

Did you mean old brother fave got least five suicide attempts? Did you grab a hood on? M-A-T Children of dysfunctional families unite Ren of dysfunctional families unite Did your sister worry every month because of period was laid? Did you cousin stunt fires and masturbate?

At night, can you hear your bulimic sister off in the distance gagging into the toilet and crying? I want to be a cheerleader Did your dad drain your college savings to buy fake boobs for some hooker he was banging behind your mother's back? Did you grandma dig through the neighbors trash? When you and nine did your uncle teach you how to smell cash?

Children of dysfunctional families unite Unite Dysfunctional families unite As every room in the house had a fist through the door your brother gets three girls pregnant because do a whore? Elmo did your dad try to hit on all your high school friends and hopes of getting a blowjob and one of them actually did it? Does your aunt keep the head of her cat and died in the freezer next to the fish sticks? Join us Gonna suck probably forever so we might as well all be fucked up together Children of dysfunctional families unite Children of dysfunctional families unite Dysfunctional families unite Children of dysfunctional families