304: The Wrong Wipe

If you haven't figured it out by now, Amy is not afraid to ask tough questions! Today she talks butt health, bidets, and the dangers of wet wipes. It's funnier than you'd think, we promise. Show Notes: Business Insider: interview with Dr. Goldstein Am I Doing it Wrong? Jan 2024 The Spruce: 7 Best Bidet Attachments Splinter free toilet paper History Channel: All the Ways We've Wiped CBS news article about Johnny Carson creating a toilet paper shortage And just in case you're not a dinosaur like Trace and Amy, this is Walter Cronkite Transcript: [00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome to Brain Junk. I'm Trace Kerr. [00:00:05] Speaker B: And I'm Amy Barton. And today we're going to be discussing personal care, which is, I know, one of the things you come to brain junk for, because we care about you, and we want you to know you might not be wiping correctly. [00:00:21] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:00:22] Speaker B: This is a hard truth that we need to share with you. And this comes from Chris Barton. [00:00:29] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:00:29] Speaker B: Who, like, we're sitting watching whatever we're watching on Saturday or Sunday morning, and he's, uh, is this a brain junk? And he sends me this article that's entitled bad news. You're probably wiping all wrong. And I'm like, yes, it is. Okay, are you ready? [00:00:50] Speaker A: No. [00:00:55] Speaker B: Parents is going to be some low key anatomical terms. Shall we talk about Dr. Evan Goldstein? Absolutely. And he is a nationally renowned anal surgeon. [00:01:05] Speaker A: Oh, wow. [00:01:05] Speaker B: That is a very specific specialty. But if you need an anal surgeon, you want them to be nationally renowned. [00:01:15] Speaker A: That's true. [00:01:16] Speaker B: Proper functionality there is valuable. So Dr. Evan Goldstein says that the preferred method of wiping is actually not wiping. He describes when you're looking at someone's anus, which isn't a common occurrence unless you've had a child or a lifestyle different than mine, maybe. There's going to be a lot of editing for this episode that's staying in. So let's think in terms of babies, if that helps you be comfortable with this subject, because we're going to talk about what an anus looks like right now. Okay. [00:01:57] Speaker A: Button knot. [00:01:58] Speaker B: It's like an accordion. It's got wrinkles, and it opens and closes. So there's the wrinkly part. That is specifically the anus where the waste products come out of. It opens, it closes. It's useful. However, in front of that and in back of that, the skin is not wrinkly, and it is very thin, and so the potential for damage is much higher. So he says, please, just don't wipe. Stop. It gets very irritated. Don't tear the skin. He says, it gets angry at us. So instead of wiping, he says he's a huge bidet fan.... This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit brainjunkpodcast.substack.com