Would you like to hear my new song? Ugh, okay, go ahead. I'm gonna sing it to you right now because I just wrote it. It's called, it's called Cat Pooh.
And I want you to picture, I want you to picture a little, a little curious kid, you know, because kids are very curious and he's kneeling down and maybe it's a little chilly and he's got a little sweater and a little beanie and he's just looking down at the little piece of pooh and he starts singing. Cat pooh, who are you? You, what cat did you, digest through where you once a mouse, a bird or bat. You once were live, but now are that.
Oh my god. The following show is for mature audiences only. Listener discretion is advised and if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself. One, two, three, four!
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I am Kalibuki and God damn it, Kathy, you and I are in such a good mood, such a good mood. Yes, we are, Kathy. Why don't you just start and tell me what you done did this week? I done did the usual.
I done got the dick as usual. I just had a thought. Wouldn't you just fall over in your chair if you heard me? me one time if one time we were doing the show and you thought you're gonna hear the usual and I'm a hey yeah I got some dick from create before but instead I said hey I had sex with somebody new wouldn't that just freak you are you gonna tell me that no I'm sorry why would you do that I just wonder I just was speculating when Jesus fucking speculation Christ it would be magical everyone like literally it would be like the end of the fucking Truman show when he fucking leaves and everyone fucking jumps up and screams people would be excited Kathy if you got some fucking brand new shiny dick or a vagina I think you vastly overestimate how committed to my sex life our listeners are and but for the record to having sex with one person is not bad okay who said it was bad it would just be exciting if this person that insists on poly this and talk about poly this and this is my poly this if you dad more partners it kind of goes with the whole image of being this this is payback right this is you shaming my poly because earlier tonight I was shaming you for your songwriting is that how it works I'm not shaming your poly I'm just saying you're not you have one partner so that's that's solo babe well I guess it's still poly because your partner now has other partners and you guys have been like in different discussions about that haven't you we have because he is in the midst of new relationship energy and our E for those of you who are not polyamorous whenever you get a new partner everything is just as friends and it's all crazy and it's all about that new partner and your other part is just watches you spin for a while and you know if you're a good partner and you have a good relationship you let it happen and you wait a few weeks or months it's gonna take to get over that and then everything settles down and everyone's complaining you guys are thick yeah so he's got that going on and yeah they've been talking and it kind of involves me a little just because I know this girl we the three of us have actually played before world friends and you know he kind of started getting me involved in some of the the online shenanigans because it's they're not getting together so much as they're doing a lot of zoom little you know calling and conversation right and so she's a very she's a submissive and very very much wants to please to be a good girl and to be praised for that and so it's not in her nature to say no I'm not gonna do that or give to sent opinions and so I wanted I got very concerned and I wanted to make it very clear to creative explorer that he needed to take that into account because he and I are not a package deal and just because she's playing with him doesn't mean she's obligated to play with me or discuss anything with him me the relationship is between the two of them and that's a real concern that is actually Kathy that is very that's very forward thinking that's like thinking of somebody else which is good and also this is like we talked about this stuff that these are the types of things if you can spend a little bit of time going to that kind of inception level of looking at bigger pictures and it actually makes it I mean because it doesn't hurt to say that to just bring that up it's actually very positive and of course if that if she wants does she want your poo now I I'm you know I'm open to discussing it but that I that's so far down the line this is a relationship between the two of them I'm really not interested in jumping in head I hear a train where are you I thought you were at the star but yeah I have the Starbucks but then there's an airport and on the other side of the airport is the train track I can't really do anything about that it's a chut chut well that's what I'm wondering if you guys are gonna pull on this new bitch is if you're gonna pull a train on her like you can put on a strap on he has thing you guys I feel tower you know new check you know here's a thing about about two people getting involved with one person it's hot what it's not it's too different thing I'm playing on your train analogy it's two different trains trying to meet up with a third and he's got his own speed and his own discussions with him if I were to involve myself in a relationship that he was having I have to go up my own speed it's almost like a completely different relationship it's not like creative explorer and I having a relationship with another person I would have to figure out my way around that relationship separate from him that's something that I think a lot of people may not take into account when you think about pulling it I think that's actually a fantastic observation and it also strongly depends on the type of dynamic that you have like say me and I when we were doing the 24 seven thing we built that relationship with each new person kind of together so it wasn't like right I started something with somebody and then a couple months later me you came in vice versa we kind of like with bunny or with any of the partners that we had it was always a thing where we were like all together having discussions so kind of at the same time everyone was able to kind of figure out their own speed yeah I get that that's unfortunately it's not how I like doing things I thought that I can't do I just prefer to have my own relationship with someone and have my own discussions and conversations with someone before involving myself in a relationship plus he and I played before with other people and it's it's always complicated you know it's it's very much I'm a submissive I'm a submissive and a dominant so I switch so what role do I take when the three of us are together right that's a tough one am I submissive to both to him and her am I submissive to him are we both submissive I mean you really have to discuss this stuff and sometimes it doesn't work out because hey man I'm a brat and a lot of people don't like brats so if I'm going to be a submissive my brat side is going to come out not my rub people the wrong way to be quite frank it rubs a lot of people the wrong way I'm just thinking about rubbing rubbing on the train come on he's just going to strap on and fuck her in the ass I'm sorry I'm a little that's where you I am having to have a serious conversation about polyamorous and you're like just put a strap on and fuck her it's actually pretty close to the tone of my voice at kind of like Grover it is a little bit on the strap on and fuck her very Grover yeah I wonder if the same the same person to their voice I think that's true isn't it oh my god Grover is Yoda Frank Oz oh my that's way too deep for the show let's just not go to that level of obsession yeah I mean that's good that you guys had that conversation and once again Bravo for the forward thinking because the more you can do that I know sometimes it seems crazy to but it really is considering somebody else's feelings or their potential feelings and I think in the bigger picture when the other partner realizes that you actually cared enough about them to consider that and bring up that point I think that that that's kind of an important thing for someone new to experience especially knowing that you've been in this thing with creative explorer for a number of years and they're just kind of coming in like there's probably a lot of intimidation like oh Kathy's gonna hate me because now I'm infringing or whatever and then to see an example of you showing like compassion empathy and just forethought and concern for this person I think that that shows a lot of character now I'm feeling bad for disinue early but you can just be all you want but I have some things that I need to share as well too okay get it off your chest boogie I'm getting I'm getting it right off my big old fat man titties right now and it's not even mine once again from afar from the school of med we have a potato may have that from you who and could she now cause you like if something happens to her that's like really fucked up then she will bestow that greatness on us so that we can still keep the spirit of you alive even though we don't hear her glorious mew and we can't play with her cute little mew butt got it which will happen in June but it not right now but so she called me she's like daddy I and she can tell she's kind of under duress still and I'm like I'm gonna what happened and she's like I'm pretty sure this is gonna be a potato mayhem and I'm like oh oh doo doo doo so apparently mew is learning to cook and you know like she's learning how to make hummus and little chicken dishes and little things with this and that so she's learning but you know Kathy in cooking there are some little things little safety things that kind of come with the territory and until you kind of make that mistake you know unless somebody remembers oh by the way don't do this because this will have a lot about watch yourself you know you know we don't have Gordon Ramsay sitting over our shoulder going you go down don't do that we don't have that all the time unless I've been watching a lot of kitchen nightmare reruns on YouTube because I love Gordon Ramsay and he's very passionate about food god damn it I love that show but he was not there with mew on a very specific important rule so she's making kind of a sauce for something and part of and the second I say it you're going to know what happened oh no so they're in this sauce one of the requirements was some chili peppers and possibly like a serrano and a jalapeno and so she's got to chop those up oh no no no no no no so she does because she's a great little chopper Kathy yes she is a great little chopper that mew is and she chopped the fuck out of those peppers and then went to the bathroom oh no no no no no yes yes yes yes yes yes and Gordon Ramsay wasn't there going go damn it wash your hands probably before you touch your genitals and she did not she did not she went right there and and use like you know she likes to fiddle with her with her lips and like hello lips and like you know so I can just picture her sitting there after she pees and whatever you know checking out her badge and you know doing little and then all of a sudden she's like oh my god she says daddy it was worse than icy hot and she likes icy hot right and it's crazy she's but she said this was worse and it came on and it burnt her and I guess oh that's right she was on she's on a period so she was pulling out her cup oh no she has the cup so the fucking fire was inside the little bleeding you vagina and fire ate her entire world she starts going ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah and so she has to like run out to her roommates and they're all like first year med students so you know of course I'm sure they all have great ideas and they're like she's like what do I do when I do something it's not something oh my do you know where she was calling me from Kathy don't tell me to er no basically she turned herself into a spicy shark victim soup and was calling me from the bathtub where blood and stinging vagina was leaking into the bathtub while she's like swimming around like a wounded shark scooting her ass on the thing going ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow it's inside she's like daddy went to go away like oh I don't even know where to start why didn't she put on a pair of gloves before cutting those things because Gordon fucking Ramsey wasn't there to tell her oh my this is this is what happens after years of hanging out with you and you doing all the cooking well you know she had to learn oh she had and she's all I kind of did wash my hands a little bit but not enough I guess I go no you stuck them fingers right up that fucking bloody vag created yourself a salt cookie washing your even washing your hands isn't enough you gotta wear gloves only foolproof way oh that poor me from shivering in the fucking bathtub you know because she gets all cold you like oh that's horrible it's horrible yeah thank god damn buddy and at least she knew that we would have to share with our lovely perverted podcast listeners that life is the place about genital torture in subspace we share I can get thrills put it's from around the world yeah but what if I guess talking about that like mucka fucker okay we have a post from dented Dom who wrote something called master yourself now I will say that this is a very very very short post and it is also he's basically just reposting a quote from Miguel Ruiz Jr.'s mastery of self I've never heard of this I don't know if it's a book or what but this is the quote that he has posted give but don't allow yourself to be used love but don't allow yourself to be abused trust but don't be naive listen but don't lose your own voice and that's it and that's all it kind of has to be so Kathy this was something that that I picked out as you know we you know trying to help you take off some of the edge of looking for fat lipos right and when I saw that sometimes I just see something and then it like gives me like a springboard right that's a definitely a great quote and it really packs in and I'm like what if Kathy and I just took those on one by one so we're gonna try and experiment and see how it goes so read the first line and then let's just go first line is give but don't allow yourself to be used now what does that mean to you do you want to start oh that's a tricky balance frankly I tend to give too much because I'm a pleaser and that was the way when I was a child I grew up that was the way to parents and teachers hearts was to be selfless and giving and I saw the looks on their faces saw the acceptance in them and just I just started doing that as a kid you just realize early on what it is that makes adults feel really good and give you lots of love and I saw that early on and so it became my thing and my most of my adult life has been trying to find a proper balance and not be used it has not been easy as I've gotten older it's definitely gotten easier for me I stand up for myself a lot more like ridiculously more I think like the teenage me would not even recognize me but that's that's my my take on that first line now what I liked about your take is I really realized in my two pages of notes on four lines that I kind of well I'm kind of I'm going from like here forward kind of thing like this is kind of what I've learned because a lot of things I relate to a lot of things I was very easily used because I tried to please people I mean I rebelled against authority and parents or whatever but like in relationships I always tried to be over pleasing to my partners which ended up just ruining the relationship because I was just had no balls whatsoever and so I had a lot of misery in learning the balance of giving and receiving at the same time but from my point of view the idea is when I give if I lower my expectations on what I'm supposed to receive from giving then I think my giving is a more authentic but be I don't feel like I'm disappointing myself if I over expect kind of like services its own reward thing does that make sense it does I totally get what you're saying yeah there's a there's a certain point where some of your giving needs to be reciprocated but when I start with giving I try to approach it like with the show you know that obviously the the service that we have to our listeners and the work that we do in this you know like even this thing you know sitting for a couple hours today and really thinking through this to see what I feel just about giving I'm not expecting anything really back in return for that and that makes my giving more authentic as opposed to having it like I have to receive some reward for it now that's the that's kind of the positive thing but in a relationship when it comes down to not being used during a work relationship you know I can give for a little bit and then there is going to be an expectation of some reciprocal like that fair exchange stuff I'm always talking about right does that make sense yeah makes sense that sounds very much like you I think you just describe yourself perfectly look at that I didn't need to write anything goddamn it yeah shall I do the second line okay we're on a roll the second line is love but don't allow yourself to be abused ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah this one's a big E for a lot of us ah love but don't allow yourself to be abused so this one is very much can be very much and is for me tied to the first one because love is all about giving and I I'm gonna here's a part that may be unpopular for me because I tend to have a very opposite feeling than you do when it comes to giving something loving someone and feeling a need for balance and when it comes to affection towards someone else I need to have that fucking balance right I tend to feel very abused and I'm using that word very lightly I don't I don't mean the horrific abuse that some people unfortunately have to go through relationships but I feel emotionally abused when there's no quid pro quo when there's no balance when I don't when I feel like whatever I give to a relationship isn't being reciprocated I'm gonna be honest this is a tough one for me because I tend to get bitter very quickly and I don't like being that person but I also don't like feeling abused and to be honest at this stage in my life I have not found a happy balance this is one that eludes me not an easy one for me at all I don't have the emotional love I have pieces of it but I get over things real quick and because I focus my love more on the action of love and the caring and all the things that go in with what I describe and define as love then I can do that with more partners you know to start with and I can give that love and support and care and concern and empathy but there is a point where after a couple of weeks I'm gonna start seeing if you're giving that back to me like it's more needed to be an equal exchange and a loving relationship for me and even though I have a lot of low self-worth and insecurities and all my little problems one thing I do have that I've been brutally trained towards is a high sense of self-value and self-worth in regards to my relationships so if I'm pouring myself into a relationship and I'm getting a brick wall back that's gonna end real quick that's just I don't tolerate just like you we're older we don't tolerate that shit anymore I ain't got time ain't nobody got time for that I ain't got that either no no no I like that one I like that one what's the next one's trust but don't be naive that's a tall order though this one I tend to be frankly quite brutal with yeah I used to be ridiculously naive to the point of letting people walk all over me not even knowing what was happening and to my great rage it's despite my growing up and thinking god damn I'm never gonna allow that to happen to my motherfuckers it still continues to happen into my adulthood granted as I get older they really have to take me by surprise but it still happens whereas when I was younger shit used to happen right under my nose and I wasn't even aware of it and I definitely handed over my trust much too quickly now I tend to be oh wow untrusting to the point of being of noxious like you have to prove yourself to me and if you can't fucking prove yourself to me to me just get out of my face because I have no time for you whatsoever if you don't understand the importance of trust in a relationship you and I have no future and you may as well just walk out the door right now and I do it without mercy that is something that sometimes I look at and go have I just become jaded and ugly when it comes to that shit I don't know and quite frankly I don't care because I never want to go back to being that naive fool ever again if that means I am an asshole so fucking be it you know I really can't argue with you on that one I mean that is you know that's the baggage that old people that's why it's kind of hard you know I get made fun of for dating you know younger women a lot but it's like the cynicism that we get as old people and you know because there's some people and of course you know there's people are aged like you were I that our cynicism is also met with a healthy dose of empathy and compassion and good communication but there are people that go to that point of being jaded but they don't let anything in you know all will let something in but there is that electric fence right and it needs to be you need to be on your side of the electric fence for a little while so I can observe your behavior and then maybe I'll turn off the electric fence and let you come into my farm exactly yeah but there it is important to do that and I think the thing that I have had absolutely the most success in regard to trust in I because no matter what there's always going to be someone that's going to fool you there's always and that is something I never give up that expectation I will never never repeat and you're supposed to never say never fuck you I'm going to say never I will never trust somebody a hundred percent because people are not perfect right I used to say this a lot on the show why would you give someone a hundred percent trust when there is no humanly way possible that a person can be a hundred percent trustworthy because that's perfection there's always some little now then I can trust somebody ninety five percent which is still an a plus in any goddamn university I can still build that point of trust to where I let people into my life I become vulnerable with my feelings I allow them to be in my world but that couple of percent that I leave in the back of my mind that says at any time this person something can happen to them that can dredge up in old personality whatever it can go bad so I look for warning signs I can look for those signs I don't have to be obsessive about it because it's only a couple percent but I can allow a part of my brain to be viewing of my partners or my friends or whatever I can watch their behaviors and in the back of my side my head because I'm not pigeonholing myself into saying oh I trust them a hundred percent I get to have that and I get to watch their behavior so if there's red flags or there's patterns that things that I know from experience means there's a likelihood that there's dishonesty here I can I cannot be caught off guard and be not even stupid again yeah but that being said I've also noticed that because I allow that little few percent I can then dedicate the other ninety five percent of my mind to enjoy the trust that somebody earns from me it's now a freedom it's now a freedom because I don't ever have to have a little paranoia in the back of my head going yeah they're gonna fuck you somehow I can just say it's a possibility I'll keep an eye open for it now I'm gonna go ahead and take the risk and if it goes good then it goes great and if it goes bad well I'm not I'm not clairvoyant and there's sometimes you lose right can't win them all but can't win them all right on to the last one on the last one this is I mean once again write a separate podcast at gmail.com if you like these kind of back and forth things because it's very different from how we usually handle a post but I don't know I kind of like these kind of things yeah so I was good to me okay the last one last one is listen but don't lose your own voice not a problem for me my problems shut in the fun me either we're good let's move on let's move on it's learning to shut the fuck up and listen don't have a problem talking don't have a problem with my voice it's it's for me I mean you want to go first you take this one first oh okay go ahead for me it's I'll just it's real simple for me listening to somebody is like a mirror it's a mirror because this is what my behaviors are actually doing to someone as opposed to what my vision is of how I present myself and what my amazing words are affecting this person my actions and my behaviors when I listen to my partners and I shut my fucking mouth and I asked them about their day or I asked them about what's going on in their world I start to see more of a reflection of myself as an influence in that world as opposed to when I'm always talking then I'm just kind of trying to ram down people's throats what I want the world to be right what about you this is one I think where I feel most secure in and balanced in because I love talking to people I just like listening and talking and conversing with people I love it a great deal it makes me happy that and listening to other people is like seeing this little puzzle before me that I get to put together in the longer I listen the better I understand this puzzle and it just happens to be something that I naturally enjoy it's one of those things that I never had to work at so it makes me feel very fortunate that this is something that that just happened to be a source of great joy for me and speaking not a problem I love it sound of my own voice I also never to my great shock had a problem making myself heard cast a certain age like what you would think somebody had if you would think that someone who had issues with you know not getting enough trust or giving too much and allowing myself to be used wouldn't but I if given enough opportunity I never had a problem telling you straight out here's my opinion of this I was always a very opinionated person just as a child I felt intimidated and just never gave you that opinion and didn't realize I should until a little bit later but this one happened for me quicker and came a lot more easy to me and I'll tell you that this is also one of the reasons that creative explorer and I are more than just play partners we're actually very good friends because we both share that we love conversing we love the socratic method we love brainstorming we love hearing about each other stuff it's the first thing that we do when when I get there on Fridays we sit down and and each talk about what happened and any issues that we're having and it's it's a lot of fun I know a lot some people might not get that but to me it's a great deal of fun and I don't I don't perceive that I've had a great deal of issue of trouble achieving being a good listener and also making sure that my voice was heard Amen God damn it and this message that Kathy and has so eloquently shared it goes for tops and bottoms doms and subs masters and slaves everyone needs to have that understanding that you have something to offer someone with your voice with your life with your experiences and the more you listen to your partner the more you get to learn about life because you don't fucking know everything and if you act like you know everything and you have this person in front of you that has an amazing mind and you don't listen to them you're cheating yourself from learning I have learned amazing amazing things from you and bunny and the other partners just by listening to them talk about themselves and their lives and their thoughts and whatever and it is it's it's really I mean I've been a better person because I'm a better listener it's good huh it's good I like this it was fun I mean it went a little longer because we had a lot of things maybe cut it down to two or whatever but I like this a lot it was fun once again pervert podcast at gmail.com if you like these types of you know philosophical give us a parable and maybe we'll break it down you know or something I liked it is geeky world news and social enigma I don't know that's asking enigma he should know because he's got the same name enigma have you had any cool dreams recently so last so I've been doing this like movie night group every pretty much every Saturday for the last year and last week we saw the story of oh I don't know if you're familiar with that I have heard of it I have not seen it was a tacky or is it actually a good movie it's actually a really really well done movie it's a um if they the version that we watched it is a french movie dubbed over in english but they do it in a good enough job that like for the most part you don't you can't really tell that it's been dubbed over for those aren't familiar with it the the short version is basically this master slave relationship um they they go into kind of a master slave a group organization house whatever and oh who is the main character she is one of the slaves and it's kind of watching her journey from kind of baby slave to being kind of a a alpha alpha dominant alpha sub person by the end of it it's it's really cool there's uh there is there's some very sexy like kink and some sex but like it's just a really interesting kind of kink movie if anybody wants like a you know a kink movie that isn't rapey in an ethical like 50 shades um I definitely and it's also a book by the same name but yeah that movie definitely as as you know unattached as i've been through most of the the lockdown and through covid i've definitely you know it definitely sparked some dreams of being involved in kinky master slave parties and stuff and i definitely woke up um we'll just say woke up in a state boogie in a state like if you had an oh you could do ring tossed on you yes see what i did there a little every bit because you haven't written jokes lately they haven't been that good i haven't been that good i thought that was pretty funny well that's good i'm glad you've had some dirty smudgy dreams i've had dreams of people chasing with needles i didn't even tell kathy earlier that i am now vaccinated i almost died congratulations um i did the johnson and johnson won uh last saturday okay and i was all pumped i put pictures on fed life and stuff like that but you know the perverted most of the perverted podcast listeners don't know that but yeah i went down in and my uh the the lady that did it kind of i mean she had a mask on but she kind of reminded me of this like she had all these tattoos and you know she had this cool eye shadow and you know and she was all punk rock and then i'll trip down on my name and they're like oh my god kenpugi she's all that's so punk rock and i'm like yeah and the second she said punk rock i'm like i got an in i got an in here and i'm like yeah fucking dead kenities yeah and then i'm like oh i do kink and then she's like oh my god i was you know she's curious for whatever you know things and she's been on some groups and all of a sudden now i'm like you know i've been so isolated i'm like i'm in love and now how do i play with the woman that stuck a needle in my arm making me sick for the next two days uh with violent fevers and shakes and hammer hands and feet feelings but who cares about that she was cute she was awesome yeah she was fun and uh and i gave her a card for perverted podcast so if you're listening take all the excitement that i had before away and now just erase that and it's like hey baby glad you made it to the show so guys he's now i gotta have yeah i gotta have the game right right just realize what if she listens and i'm all here gushin like an idiot and i'm like now you have to be the super serious dom now i'm so now dom eyebrow i mean hey person that stuck me with a needle person but not she was real awesome and it was it was a good experience i'm glad i got it done and uh and hopefully uh we got some curious listeners out of it you have a couple topics okay so our first article comes from well in good.com and the article is called four tips for proudly introducing kink into your relationship uh this is a topic that we talked about particularly on the show is how it's how you want to kind of you're kinky but your partner may or may not be and how do you want to bring it up without scaring them away um a lot of people over quarantine specifically have gotten into some sexual and kink exploration with all of the sudden time on their hands we did an article while back that said sex sites sex site sales were up like 60 percent specifically for uh like sex toys and whatnot right but like but like with a lot of things shame and embarrassment have stopped many from really getting into a lot of what they may be curious about the site called on katelyn v a clinical sexologist for a few tips on how to introduce kink into your relationship now we're going to be touching on those tips but if you want more detail please check out on the uh the the full list on their website so tip one if you are nervous say so from the start let your partner know that you that what you want uh what you want to bring up is kind of a big deal and to get into this with a bit more of an open mind so you don't want to just jump into it and scatter right away kind of like give them ease them into the topic that that to you anyway is feeling a lot more uh you may be feeling a lot more guarded about tip two be specific don't just say you want to get into kink say you want to try spanking or gags something that is easily recognizable as doable so a lot of times when people are looking at kink like if you just go to kink.com and like just start looking at all the different kinks that can be a bit overwhelming but if you specifically look up spanking you're going to find a lot more videos that are specific on spanking and so that that's the recommendation on this as well okay uh tip three uh also use mental imagery as a way to introduce the idea so this is getting into kind of dirty talk like while during some play maybe play with something like hey wouldn't it be hot while you're fucking me maybe you can spank me or use the paddle we just got something that brings your your partner's mind into the play too and isn't just like held within your fantasy you're including them in in your fantasies and then their final tip is yes there might be some pushback but that doesn't mean the fun is over people have been brought up with oppression and shame over sexual or exploration and often that can come out during intimate experimentation so kind of goes back to the first tip but like take time you're not going to go full master slave with the first conversation like ease your partner into it allow them to be comfortable with this this new idea and allow them to be able to kind of fight against their own programming and and you're going to have a much easier time introducing your partner into kink here here god damn it i think those are all i like all four of those tips i think all four cover uh a really good approach maybe we could talk about some of the the nuances that we've discovered as we ourselves and others have actually done these conversations the the thing i love we absolutely go 100 percent with don't blow them out of the fucking water right because you don't know what level they are open to everyone says oh i want to know exactly what you feel and it's a fucking lie it is a 100 percent lie what they want is for you to tell them anything up into the point that is more than they can handle right so when they say they want everything and then you're like oh my god yeah i want fire knife, texture, blood, anal, boot, play scene where uh you know you smack me with a razor blade and then we have to go to the ER and there that's like literally 20 steps over anything they have ever conceived in their life and they are blown completely out of the water right so always remember that's that's why it's so important to kind of feel them out first for what they think is incredibly kinky like maybe make some suggestions like they said like what do you think about a little light bondage or some fuzzy handcuffs or a little bit of spanking or stuff like that are there any things that you have thought of how do you feel about this because if you come in because everyone the second you're mate and we've seen this a million times every time your mate comes in and you tell them oh i want to i really want to be kinky and you've you're like this ball of magic electric fire kink that's just waiting to bust out in the second they say yeah i think i've thought about that too you're like oh my god and you freak out and you tell them all these goddamn things you have to hold that in right until you find out because here's another thing that's really nasty and this happens a lot and i've heard this i think more with guys than with women but when guys are taken out of their comfort zone like their their their female partner is asking for something that's above their pay grade then instead of feeling like they look weak or stupid for saying oh i don't think i could handle that i don't think i could do something like that they don't want to look weak or emasculated so what they do is they just turn around and start shaming and guilting what your desires are right and then there's the the inverse of that like you don't want to throw a whole lot at them and then they think they have to go along with it because you're so passionate about it right i definitely had a partner who like later in our relationship basically told me that they got into it because they they knew i liked it right and and that was that that just hit me in the gut and i was like i i was doing these like it was very early in my kink so i wasn't going too hardcore but like i was i was hitting her with stuff and i was biting her and i was marking her and i thought she was into that but because i i possibly like put a little too much too fast she just felt like she had to go along with it and so that's something that you want to be careful with on both sides of the slash really yeah hold that excitement in and then let let it kind of build to where you feel your partner's confidence growing and it may be that you're also inexperienced too and you're just really super excited because you thought about these things when you're talking about a partner if you're talking about going to a dungeon and watching people play and doing all your safety stuff and then demoing stuff you know there's a lot more freedom in that because if you don't like what somebody did to you or what you did to them you know that's not really you know you live you learn and you grow and you move on but if you're in a relationship with somebody and you cause damage and hurt or confusion or bad communication with someone you're in a relationship over kink that kink's over i've seen it so many times where they both start interested and they just the one was so excited they just pushed and pushed and then it just burnt them out and they said i don't want to do this ever again this is actually you know it's i've seen it end relationships so so there really is and i don't mean to paint a bleak picture but the reality is is that it is something you have to tread lightly on you really too and i think another idea i was just thinking about is like a lot of times i've seen unlike the dating stuff is like turn it into a date but maybe not go to someplace like stock room which is gonna have all like the hardcore puppy gear and massive cock rings or whatever maybe go to some place like hustler where it's it's a story that's kind of designed for the tourist and you can go in there and just be like walk like specifically walk over to maybe the fluffy handcuffs it's like what would you think like give them a visual um and put them in that environment um i think that could be really hot and sexy and then like whatever you buy there that night you can immediately go home and play with and then you know a couple of days a week later be like hey how did you how do you feel about you know locking me up would you want to do more of that just kind of baby step it into it yeah i absolutely believe that now then once now then here's now i gotta go devil's advocate because you know we're very conservative and we're put same put the kitty gloves on and you know be gentle and whatever you may be in a relationship where both of you just needed permission and both of you equally have dark fucked up sadistic desires that you want to go for so we're not saying it's mandatory that you start with fuzzy fucking handcuffs and then spend a year until you work up to maybe a paddle you know it really is just gauging how that communication is going and the more you communicate throughout this process the more you're gonna get that feedback because here's the thing and this is something i've noticed and they can tell me if you've noticed this okay when one when one or the other partner stops investigating stuff like usually when they have that discussion about kink usually immediately both of them go into the kind of their own little research thing and they go online and they look up some stuff and you know oh i thought about this and you thought about this and that's great because then they talk about oh i saw this and i saw this yeah no i like this but when one stays really excited and it's like the voracious sponge of information and all of a sudden the other one stops their search you got to pay attention to that because where they stopped is what their personal limit is 100% and then you have to and then you have to kind of go okay they're only going to be into spanking and paddles and if and i fucking swear to god you fucking listen to me on this if you shame you're not you i'm talking about it you already know this shit and also our audience knows this shit but if you're new you listen to me if you don't validate every step that your partner who maybe is nervous is willing to take if you don't have a certain amount of gratitude and encourage them even if all they are willing to try is some spanking or a little hair pulling or something like that or maybe a ball gag and you don't afterwards say that was fun that was exciting thank you for experiencing that with me and instead you start coming with that shit like well i really want more and this is you know this isn't really working for me i really need you blah blah blah blah you have asked for a death sentence to your kink i have seen it so many times if you do not validate the level that your partner is at then all they're going to think is i'm not good enough what i'm doing isn't good enough i mean in fear your person i why would i do why would i do anything if it's just going to make me feel shitty yeah so i think we've even talked about this was it last week where like sexual validation like if you're if your partner is doing something that you like let tell them that you like what they're doing like yes include them include them include them in your joy and that's going to make them be more positive about it and want to explore it further with you hopefully hopefully yes that is hope there's no guarantees in this it is a touchy subject this is why i will never enter a relationship that hasn't been thoroughly negotiated that we're both kinky at a level that we both enjoy but that's not how it worked you know some people they get married they have kids and kids grow up a little bit and then they're like yeah we want to spice it up i used to think about this in my hard days in college you know you know something like that but but it it it is it is a hard sell sometimes especially when people have that bad programming and maybe you know whatever religious guilt or societal shame that surrounds you know sexual behaviors it's a tough one i mean there's i'm excited because when it works oh man you see you see people come in and they're so fucking excited enigma and then and then both partners get into it and it's like magic and it's just you know they're often it's amazing but i've also seen so many well it's usually couples like the couple will come together one is way more into it than the other and eventually you know something has to happen and either the other is gonna catch up or or at least you know love the person for what they're into or the relationship does not gonna work yeah yeah i hear you good topic can ramble about that shit all day pros and cons right best electariot god damn it let's talk about some dirty stuff yes let's do that so this next article comes from cnn.com specifically the travel section and it and the article is called Italian islands become sex pilgrimage site so i know i i kind of want to buy tickets right now so the islands of strong poli and philaducci philaducci philaduki i don't know i'm not telling i'm sorry are two islands near philakouti we'll get to that uh are two islands near italy and they are believed to have magical powers to give you some ecstasy uh locals attest that people coming to the island do have increased libidos and seem to give uh people more willingness to experiment in the bedroom uh which we just talked about uh strumballi the most active of the two islands and home to one of the world's most active volcanoes is said to be the best of the two between the regular trimmers from the eruptions the scars from the lava flows amazing wildlife made possible by the volcano apparently all comes together and acts as the perfect sexual combo people will even hike up to the set to the crater of the volcano naked to be more one with the powerful mountain because of the volcanic nature of the islands there are plenty of secluded caves and very phallic sea stacks that tend to inspire the making of babies as well one of these sea stacks is called lakana it is 85 meters tall and is said to cause good luck and fertility to those who rub it that's what i'm gonna start eating them myself so you're talking an 85 meter dick shaped rock that everyone's down at the base jerking up right yeah yeah they're all coming together to jerk off the rock deck nice uh for me i feel like it's something that goes back to our uh you know bring it to a like a more practical thing it goes back to our fear and haunted house episode there is a constant level of oh shit we're on a volcano that just has people constantly on edge and their anxiety is you know turned to 11 and if they are there with a partner or find one along the way that can lend to some interesting sexy times because like in the article of the haunted house they talked about putting couples kind of on a scary bridge or in a scary movie and you know letting them using that fear and excited and it would actually bring them together for sexy time so i'm thinking in some ways that is probably uh...
attributing to this as well as well as the large phallic rock sticking up everywhere i think so i think that's actually a really good point that you make that connection to the fear and anxiety because you know not being you know jekyll and mr. dumb you know ice land where they just hang out next to volcanoes and it's like no big deal um most people have a fear of volcanoes because they do erupt and wipe out entire cities every now and again um so i think that that that connection of the fear and the excitement of a volcano uh could actually you know be in play just as you said i also think what i'm seeing here because i read the whole article and uh you know of course that's at the bottom by sisily i'm half sisily and so i'm like yeah i fucking get it i get it god damn it that it's basically a romantic placebo is what's going on volcanoes eruptions eruptions volcanoes phallic this caves and then of course the locals knowing that it builds tourism pitch it is a big orgy place and a sex rock over time you know people just say oh wow there's you know all this mythology around this island being this you know aphrodisiac you know by walking on it i think it just kind of all lends together not just because of the mythical aspect but also the sexual freedom aspect that this island is a place you are encouraged to fuck and make babies and get it on with your partners so the the excitement of active volcanoes earthquakes tremors all of the phallic symbols and just knowing that when you go to this place you get to be naughty and dirty i think is a fantastic marketing for the island but also that the human mind can create that kind of energy in a lot of different places and a lot of people do they associate the forest and you know giant trees going into the skies is very phallic it all has to do with dicks apparently um like where's the big pussy rock that's the one i want to fucking climb into i want to hang on the stone blarney stone clit on the top and like you know just polish that that's that's my thing that could be the the volcano itself like the volcano itself is kind of a big vagina it kind of is but there's problems with that and that is i'm not fireproof so i wouldn't think so so i don't think i'm just going to dive into i'm not fucking gallam i'm not fucking gallam chasing the precious and shit shamans with my china's is for china's is chow that probably no you so much fuck okay um oh we're just getting worse and worse and worse and worse two excited teenagers if people want to find us online in nigma where would they go well they can find us on instagram at perverted podcast they can find us on twitter at perverted pcast and they can find us on fat life there's both a group and a page just search perverted podcast is the end of show 306 don't forget to write to us at pervertedpodcast at gmail.com or you can even send us a message through the perverted podcast profile on fatlife.com but you know send us smoke signals we don't care we'll listen to anything that you have to tell us whether it's a question or just a story about something that happened and i was going to also say you know we had a really good planting of the p p flag by uh our lovely friend on the volcano which are a while ago and i i don't think a few of those would go amiss if you kind of nice to see other people plant the p p flag and let me just say oh you don't have to put yourself in danger oh happy okay no to do so what what funny you should say that oh no someone path to the p p foggy forgot about it no they play they just literally like two hours before the show what bacon panda who was going to send you boobies sent you lots of boobies oh i haven't even is it on our fat life account it's not no it's on a gmail it's on our pervertedpodcast gmail.com but she sent us and i've already posted a version of one of the picks she did needle play on her gigantic boobies and put two peas in the in needles oh my and so she planted the p p flag ditties in her own boobies which is now i made it all black and white looking so it's all ominous and sexy it's like that so it's pretty cool so yes so you asked and before it even came out of your mouth our listeners have already given you a p p flag planting on titties our listeners are awesome that way their mind readers man they they read your mind well i'm gonna have to check that out we're gonna have to do some stuff next time all right thank you to all of you wonderful wonderful listeners we have our their most especially our patreon supporters if you feel like supporting us please visit patreon.com podcast you know what boogie that thing i think that's all i got well how special that today's show was sponsored by jekyll and mr. Dom thank you so much for your sponsorship taking a little bit of the pressure off the lovely gorgeous headlight who is still technically the show sponsor but jekyll and mr. Dom threw in some sponsorship level money and so he got to sponsor an episode today and everyone else who just listens and gives us a chance to go through these things and think for ourselves it's it's so exciting i had so much fun today and i just consistently learned things because you guys give me a reason to to do it and and it's i sometimes i feel very selfish like i like i told you earlier kathy like i'm getting more a lot more out of this than most of our listeners but it is very exciting and i do feel like i'm in a big learning cycle with the show topics and so please do send us more topics keep us going tell your friends and we'll see you next week for thre07 let's get naked and drunk and roll around the buck because it not ain't getting any younger because i'm a horny little man and you're go coming get me lover i want to lie you on the floor and go you can use chainswifts and leather when we get it all together i think you mix and paint and pleasure that's why i can scare it from the screams and mones and they're so darling don't forget the safe word i'm gonna tie you to the wall and go i so mind i don't need a life that you'll prevent you