307. Why the heck am I working out if it's not making me lean?

“The heaviest weight at the gym is the front door.” Ed Latimore. When I first heard Ed say that, it had a huge impact on me. The reason why is because it resonates. It resonates and it’s true still even after years and years of consistent working out. The front door is still the heaviest weight for me. I mean I have exercised my whole life, I was teaching high impact step aerobics at 18. I was thin, could eat what I wanted..without worry. I continued to exercise but around 27 I started putting on weight. My vanity wouldn’t allow me to continue down that path. So I thought well maybe I can fix it if I start running, ok that worked a little but then my body adapted and eventually back up goes the scale, so I thought ok, maybe if I do Bikram Yoga, a 90 minute, in my opinion, military style yoga 4 times a week, which I did, it helped but again, I wasn’t getting back to the size I knew was best for me and how I wanted to look and feel, exercise had stopped being useful in the way in which I was using it. Isn’t that interesting? I was working out to be thin, and it wasn’t working. So now why in the world would I want to continue something that wasn’t working? That’s the million dollar question. It has taken a while for me to realize the role exercise plays in my life. I used to think and I would even say this “I exercise so I can eat what I want”. And I would make myself exercise and then go to Huey’s and eat a chicken sandwich with fries because I earned it. Eric and I used to do a 5 mile run every Sunday so we could go have brunch which meant blueberry pancakes and mimosas. I laughed out loud when he reminded me of that as we were talking about this episode. But you see, I was super frustrated because my jeans were getting tighter and tighter. It felt like I was working out for nothing. But there was this feeling of sort of a mixture of euphoria and pride the rest of the day after I had a great workout so it couldn’t be for nothing, right? I probably lived in that world for 6 or 7 years until I realized that there was also another sentence that I didn’t want to be true but was becoming more and more apparent. You can’t out train a bad diet, especially after 35. That’s when I realized working out was making me feel amazing but it wasn’t making me lose weight, not as long as my nutrition was where it was. So exercise for me was improving my sanity but food I realized was hurting my vanity, and my health of course but let’s be real…. I wish it weren’t so, but it is. So I exercise because I feel amazing. Now, exercise alone wasn’t going to reach my body goals. I had to get honest with myself about food. And if you’re being honest with yourself you do too. But that doesn’t need to discourage us from working out because the benefits are worth it. Trust me. I’m just like you. It’s not getting easier, but every single time you do it anyway, you win. We have to stop wishing it would get easier and we have to get real about our exercise and nutrition. You can get benefits from one or the other, but you cannot outrain a bad diet and there’s no way to eat so healthy that you have to exercise or move. www.heididawson.com