31. Learning & Unlearning as a Mom

I’m going through a transition as a mother. I’m in this torn space of giving my kids the space to grow, develop, and learn, but I’m still looking at them like the 2-year-olds I chased after to make sure they didn’t fall or play with the sockets. In my transition as a mom, I’m in a delicate space where I’m trying to make sure the teaching is there for my kids. I say that because I want them to be in tune with their feelings and being comfortable openly expressing how they feel, and feeling like they can sit me down and talk to me about anything whether it’s good or bad. The struggle with me is that I didn’t grow up like that - talking back, having an opinion, all that is against the black parent’s law and as long as you lived under your parents’ roof you didn’t have an opinion, you not paying no bills. So there were things I had to learn and think about it like what I want my relationships with my kids to look like as they get older and how do I instill things in them without it being shoved down their throats. So, just as my kids are growing and developing, I am too. I’m unlearning mom guilt. Feeling like I’m not enough, I haven’t done enough, like I’ve failed my kids on things that bother me but they’re not even thinking about let alone tripping about. I feel like that goes back to the desire of some parents who want to live vicariously through their kids. And that also goes back to other people’s opinions - whether it’s the dad or grandparents or friends who want to tell you your kids. So much to unpack in this episode - tune in! What are some things you’ve had to learn and unlearn as a mother? ~N