If Hitler was a lotta hippie-eye-spent-show sponsor, he'll throw hamsters, and I'd heavily use them protectors from the monsters, Hitler. Yeah, the is it gonna be that kind of show? It's gonna be that kind of show. Are you feeling particularly abre-ready and, uh, ornery today?
I'm feeling particularly abrasive, yes sir. Really? That's kind of awesome. Alright, alright, fine.
I can handle sandpaper. Are you a coarse grit or a fine grit? I am a very coarse grit, thank you for asking. Wow!
Well, I'm putting on my little defense mechanisms, getting my little side-to-side head-shaped going. You wanna just go ahead and dig into this and start stepping on landmines or what? I say we do. Well then, fuck you, let's hang pork.
HUH. The following show is for a true audience as only. Listener discretion is advised, and if you don't like it, please don't fuck yourself. One, two, three, four!
Do you feel your sex life is quite lame? Scared that your desires might be strange? Come and join the kinky world of play! Pervading like a...
Yay! Hello and welcome to the incredibly potentially abrasive Pervading podcast. My name is Kellen Boogie, and this is the show where we explore the adventures of the lifestyle kinky sex and the human mind. Recording live tonight on yet another warm day in Southern California, and I am Kathy.
And Kathy, I'm just like, I'm excited. Like, why? Where is this abrasive? It's just your general disdain for me personally, or is there something going on in your life that's made you a little hotter than the collar?
I'm not gonna lie, there is a healthy dose of the usual disdain for you Boogie, mixed right into the recipe that's always part of it. Yes it is. Good, good, good. Nothing different, the kids won't get scared.
There is the fact that I haven't gotten dick in several weeks. Oh dear God. And even though I've had kinky fun and I've been played with, there's no substitute for the dick in the budget and I'm not happy about it, and I'm particularly not happy about it. Because it's not even my fault, it's someone else's fault who is sending creative explorer pictures of themselves naked that he loves so much that he's been, you know, diddling the old ween a bit too much and it has to lay off a little bit.
And I'm like, oh that's not even my fault. Oh my God, he's blowing. He's wasting his man loads and then not like partaking in yours. Well it's just created a medical problem that needs a few weeks to heal and let's leave it at that.
But I'm ordinary and abrasive because of that. Okay, that's number one. The other, let me tell you that I want my pound of flesh. I want this girl to get some punishment, but apparently punishment is I'm not going to go into it because it's an old person thing, but it is not part of their dynamic and it's actually very traumatic.
So it's not something that they engage in. So I totally respect that. But I want my pound of flesh. God damn it, Kathy, you deserve your pound of flesh.
I want somebody punished for the fact that I get no dick through and I'm all to my own. Kathy, it's their dynamic that she doesn't get punishment, but it's not yours and her dynamic. You can literally just drive over there and like wrap a fruit roll up around your finger so it's extra long and just wave it in her face and go, what's that? Keep your goddamn Instagram photos.
Oh my man. You know what the truth is that she's actually a cutie in a very nice and respectful person, but I'm, you know, me. I don't give a shit. You don't go sucking the enemies dick in a war.
This is dick war. Yes, it's dick war. You're not getting a dick or at least you need to like create some sort of compromise and use your strategic general wisdom status. And by general wisdom, I mean you're the general in this in this power dynamic as far as the vaginas go.
You know, creative explore gets to be the admiral because that's the dynamic. You're still a general and very capable of strategic maneuvers. I don't think I am boogie. I'm not very capable and strategic is not a word in my vocabulary.
I'm very haphazard, chaotic, causing more trouble than I'm doing any good type of person. Cathy, I have seen you organize shelves that shouldn't be organized. Well, she has our whole other deal, man. Well, then, god damn it, it's just a, it's just a, you know, semantics at that point.
I think you can make contact with this person and go, look, how are you going to assist me? I have assisted you by laying back and allowing your guys love to flourish. And I've been real cool about this, but there is a hole, not in my heart, in my waist crotch that needs to be filled. There is a void and that void is creative explorers, Dick.
I'm thinking of doing is my sister's boyfriend who lives here with us has a dildo on a stick like you used to have or maybe still do have. Well, I'm thinking of maybe taking that with me to creative explorer and saying, if I can't have your dick, you better make do take this thing and fuck me with it. You know, that is so awesome and tragic at the same time. Isn't it though?
It's totally tragic. I have to bring, have Dick will travel. I have to bring my own penis in order to get fucked. Oh my.
If that isn't my life in a nutshell, I don't know what is on top of that. I've got, I'm on edge because I've been on this goddamn fucking keto diet for like four weeks and I'm still not in ketosis and I can't even cheat because I've actually entered into this power exchange thing diet with creative explorer. And now I'm under orders not to go over 20 grams a day or I get massively punished, the kind of punishment that I've only received once. And it was so harsh.
It was enough for me to go never want to get that again. And so I've got to tell you, I'm on edge with the, I'm totally on edge and I will be taking it out on you today. Well, you know, in a bro kind of way, in a bro kind of way, I'm like, Kathy, I get it. Go ahead and unleash, you know, here are my virtual nuts.
Go ahead and kick them in. I'm gonna let off some steam. I'll try to say some extra stupid, biggest chauvinist shit that'll set you off. I got news for you, but you don't really need to try that hard.
That shit just comes out of you. Well, goddamn it. We all have a skill. I'm like, well, shit, Kathy.
I'm like, well, I got a new tire on my car this morning. Oh, joy. But it's a sexy tire. Oh.
And it means that my car goes straight on the road and stuff. Well, that's always good, Buggy. Well, first before I forget, because I wrote it down, I wanted to make sure that our pervert podcast listeners know, because we haven't done a listener segue in a while, because people haven't been sending in to pervertopodcasts at gmail.com and filling out the questionnaires. So we have something to talk about that's your experiences, your sexual and kink experiences on the show.
So putting out the call to our listeners, we haven't done one in a while. They're a lot of fun to do. It's very easy to do because it's your personal experience. You don't have to be an expert in anything and what you've done.
So it's actually usually even people that are really nervous about doing it. It's a really comfortable call. And we only talk about what you write down in the questionnaire. So send me an email at pervertopodcasts at gmail.com and say, give me the goddamn questionnaire so we can do some more.
Do they have to say it like that? Give me the goddamn question. I mean, I've said that before and people have said exactly. I think once I say, give me the fucking questionnaire and someone I forget who it was.
Oh, give me the fucking questionnaire. And I'm like, here you go, Mr. But I have only one thing. I mean, I've been talking with you and you's doing good.
She has a really big stressful test coming up in med school. And so that's tomorrow. So hopefully she does well on that. I'm still totally flirting with her cute friend that I'm hoping stays single long enough for me to get there.
So you can watch us do things while she plays Minecraft on the bed. We have long enough for you to get there. Do they go that fast away? Wait, wait, wait, oh man, she's gone.
Somebody's got you better believe it. You better believe it because first off, she hasn't really seen me. So she doesn't know. She's just titillated by the fact that I know a lot about King and you know, and the things that me was talked about.
And so she's real curious to try a lot of things. So she hasn't actually embraced visually all the this that is Count Boogie and granted. I'm working out my I'm getting stronger, you know, my chest and shoulders are coming back. So I'm not I'm not like a complete lump, but I'm not necessarily completely chiseled either.
So so we don't know how that's going to work out. Plus, if you know, she gets in a relationship with someone, then that's, you know, obviously she's not going to want to play. So but I will have mute and that is plenty damn fine by me. That life is the place where you and the corn's play, but then they fuck each other in the answer with their horns because that's the kind of freaky shit that happens on that line.
Oh, your piece of mind, please. No, the other way. We talked about it. We have a post called I have to do something I say that say that I mean, I guess I could not say that anymore.
I, you know what? Maybe I'll stop saying that for a while. No, it's good to say it and you should say it because it's important and people here. It is just funny that you have, you know, you're irritable.
So you don't give a fuck about saying it, but it is important and for new people that listen Kathy, it's good for them to like, Hey, are they just talking about this shit? No, we're letting the new people know, but it was just very funny. Okay. I am in that frame of mind.
Okay. I have a post today from mermaid of Venus. Apparently that's my mermaid sound. Is that a mermaid sound?
That's really not a mermaid sound, but maybe it's more bloop bloop bloop bloop. I don't think it's any of those. Okay, but she wrote a post called on boundaries and communication and I'd like to give a little shout out here to Enigma Enigma, who not only does segments on the show for us and the listeners, but he tags me on these things. And honestly, I'm going to say about one fifth of the posts I get are from him.
He's got some- He's really on top of it. He is. Yes. And this is a good one.
Okay. Here's what she says. Boundaries are hard because voicing them requires you to not only know yourself, but to be able to clearly articulate what you want and need in a way that makes you vulnerable. That's scary shit right there.
Vulnerability is hard. It's also the only way to be truly seen to truly have any degree of connection with another human and to grow. I didn't used to be able to confront a friend or a potential romantic interest or even a boss with my truth when I was younger. I got too caught up in the possible consequences and the fear would just stop me.
What I've realized though is that in any dynamic, I have needs and those needs matter. I matter. So however hard it may be to approach the conversation, nothing will change if the conversation doesn't happen. Hm, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, mermaid of Venus.
Indeed. Well, I think, I mean, for me, the first word when I hear boundary is, is that is something that needs to be put up. Because if it's just in your head, it's just the concept of a boundary. But a boundary is like a fence or a wall that like a landowner or in your case, the owner of your person has to put up to protect yourselves from things going out or in.
And this is a big problem that I think we, at some point the majority of us have boundary issues until we really learn our own value. So I really enjoyed this. Every time I hear somebody that discovers this and every time we talk about this on the show, it just keeps bringing back. You know what I mean?
It's like it's exciting when you realize that you can get the hammer and nails and put up your own fence and protect yourself. Right. I think what you say is very important, the once you know your value. It's actually what she's saying too, you can never have anything, you can never make yourself heard or make yourself matter.
And if you don't value yourself, you're not going to put forth the effort to get past that very scary vulnerability. And there's so much good that comes out of it. It's just there's no downside here. At least my opinion, I could be totally ignorant and not be looking at some aspect of this, but I have never found a problem that has arisen from being communicative about my needs.
In fact, I found obviously the reverse is true. And and I'm not, I, I totally agree with her. It's, it's, it's scary shit. I'm 55 years old.
I still cringe when I have to confront someone and almost every time that I look at it, if I make the decision not to communicate, it's because I'm not valuing myself enough. And I'm encountering that right now at work and not being able to ask for a raise. Every time I get the opportunity or I tell myself, maybe now is the time you should do it. I back down every fucking time because I don't value myself enough.
And as a result, my boundaries are constantly crossed. And it's not, it's not a good thing. It's not an easy thing to admit to that at this age, I still have problems communicating and putting up my boundaries. Well, I think this, this talks about the downside in your relationship, especially with like creative explorer, those boundaries and finding your worth enough to express that has been only positive.
But your instance at work is starting to show light on the fear aspect of setting your boundaries, which is the downside because sometimes when you share your boundaries with people, you do get rejection, you do get disappointment, you do get abuse and gaslighting in some situations, because the person on the other end that you're setting up the boundaries with is not communicative. They are, they do not see the value because they don't really give a fuck about you. And that is your fear. I'm speculating on your job.
Maybe some of those are your fears with your boss. Maybe some of your fears are that he doesn't value you as much as you think you should be valuing yourself. So you're going to be rejected for that raise. And that is very real.
And that's very real in work, relationships, talking to your professor at school when you have conflicts with the curriculum or how they're grading or whatever, standing up to your family members, which I'm going to, you know, dealing with tomorrow. There is always that fear because on that other side of that boundary is a real person that may not respond in a healthy way. Yes. It's, it's, that is the difficulty with whether you're communicating, standing up for yourself, being honest with somebody is that the other person is not obligated to go along with you.
The other person is not obligated to agree with you. So you always have to be okay with the rejection. And I'm okay with that rejection, surprisingly, actually, because I get rejected all the time. I'm good with rejection, but I don't value myself.
I just, as much as I want that raise, I don't see myself having to really deserved it. And I guess that's the core issue. And the reason I'm talking about this so much is because what she says and what you said is very, very true. It all comes down to how much you value yourself, how much you think you matter.
Because the people who are confident in that, and I actually know people in my life right now who don't have this issue. And I am in all of these people because nothing stops them. They just push forward. And when something happens that they didn't anticipate and they don't want to happen, you know, they're not fucking Superman.
They don't, they don't sit there and go, yes, that doesn't bother me, but they fucking just get through it and move on. Yeah. In a way that I can't. And so I do firmly believe that communication, whether, like she says it's in kink or at work or even with a friend communicating your boundaries, communicating what your needs and desires are comes down to how much, how much your self worth plays in your own life.
Absolutely believe that. And I, and once again, I think that at, for most of us, even if the majority of the time and in the majority of our life circumstances, we have that ability to stand up for ourselves, there's always those places where we don't feel that confident. Obviously, I have so many of these, like right now I'm dealing with that with like doing starting stand up comedy, just joke telling, not playing music, just writing, you know, I have a lot of like, well, people like me, is it worth the struggle? How do I want to do this?
And so I'm really wrestling with my worth instead of just going, I've made people laugh for fucking 30 years. And I know I can make people laugh. Obviously I have to learn some different skills to do comedy this way, to be effective with it. Maybe I'll get lucky in some of it because there's some transferring credits, but in general, this is a new thing and I'm scared of it.
And so how I approach getting gigs and ways to practice and things like that, that is based on my fear and my lack of worth. And I don't think I need to have all the skills to still value myself. I need to be able to also see my potential that I don't have to be perfect right now in order to still say that I deserve this opportunity and by deserve I mean go work for it. Right.
I mean, we can talk about how to build self-worth in each scenario for a long time. But I really want to get to a secondary version of building boundaries and people that are afraid to build boundaries and that are the people in the lifestyle or in people that are wanting to play with people and have scenes with new people that they don't know that well, there's a very big danger in the assumption that there are boundaries there that you have not set up. Like and we'll call them community standards. We'll call them, you know, boundaries of communities.
These are the things you should do in a community. These are the boundaries that a top should have with a bottom about sexuality and consent and when to stop and what's triggering and things like that. And when you do that in the kink community, you are in a lot of danger because all of those boundaries are highly subjective based on the group that you think has the boundaries. Does that make sense?
Yeah, absolutely does. You need to be able to stand up for yourself and say what is your thought on this? Like I don't like this and this, but if you get into a certain community in the kink lifestyle, maybe that whole group is like CNC. If you walk in the door, you are consenting to everything that that dominant does to you.
And that's not real. So your fence, you are ultimately responsible for that because if you just sit back and I've seen it happen to threshold, I've seen it happen to other clubs and I've been a part of it myself because I assumed things were a certain way because I thought these were the boundaries and then people overstep those boundaries and I'm like, wait a minute, you're not supposed to do that. And they're like, who says, did you establish that with me? So it's so important to understand that before you do anything, as far as your relationships or kink or playing with people that you are ultimately responsible for yourself and even in regards to you getting a job or getting a raise at your job, this is your responsibility to yourself.
Right. Oh yeah, I've been agonizing over this for over a year now. It tears me up inside. I will get over this.
I fucking will get over this, but right now this is how it's playing out. On the other hand, with creative explorer, I actually, you know, a lot of times we think about boundaries like we keep them close to us. I want this boundary and it is between you and I don't want you to cross this boundary. In this case, I expanded the boundary, which is just as scary to say in the past, I didn't allow this, but I'm going to expand that and say, you know, I'd like your help as my dominant with staying on my diet.
And I was literally shaking when I said it. And I wanted to cry at what made me feel so vulnerable to say, this is what I need. And I respond very well to harsh, you know, very strict demands. I can't, it's very difficult for you to stand there and tell somebody, I need you to be very strict with me.
Here is exactly how I will respond well to it. It's hard. It's an easy thing to do. And I, after months of trying to figure out how do I talk about this?
How do I tell him? Because we've discussed, he said how, you just tell me what it is that you need and we'll see if I can do that. And it was agonizing to try and come up with the right words to say, I need you to be very strict with me to give me direct orders. This is what I will respond to.
This is what I will not respond to. And if you let me brat out, it won't work. And if you aren't harsh and if you don't take this seriously, I won't take it seriously. So that's why I'm begging you to be very, very strict with me.
And those are words that I don't like saying to anybody. And it was not an easy thing. But those boundaries, I needed to push those out a little and expand them and change the dynamic. And to change the dynamic when you, after it's been like seven plus years, is terrifying.
That was really a tough thing to do. No shit. No, I mean, I have similar things about how scary it was when you went to school after, you know, five and a half years of us being one dick policy and, you know, just to be able to let go of that and change my head space around that was something I didn't. I didn't know how that was going to work out.
Oh, yeah. And in some ways it worked out very well. And of course there's challenges around that. And I did, you know, but I did adapt to those things.
And that's just, you know, those are the risks in, I mean, I know we talk about it like it's all fascinating and like, Oh, wow, you know, but it's like, welcome to adulthood. I'm 52 years old. This is this is adult shit asshole. It's not like this is how you get through each day.
Each day you have to kind of stand up so you can then get the nails and put up your fences or let open, you know, put a gate where certain people can come through the fence and be in your life and in your vulnerable space and then shut it and put a fucking lock on it. Right. Good. Well, good post.
Yes. Thank you to Enigma and thank you for mermaida Venus for letting us use that post. Is a zebra labia all covered with strikes? See, God God, we wisdom on some fucking advice.
No, nobody should listen to our advice, but we're going to give it anyway. Why do people, I don't know why people write to us because they know that sometimes we can be assholes and I'm always, I got to say, I think these people are very brave for writing to us and wanting to know what we have to say. Well, you know, sometimes a harsh opinion is the one that kind of, I mean, even if it pisses you off, you know, being offended makes me have to ask why I'm offended. Yeah.
And that gets my juices going. So I think in general, our hearts are in the right place, even though your heart is a muscle in your chest and it pumps blood, it doesn't actually carry any emotional value with it. And it better fucking be in the right place or you're in trouble. If your heart's on your elbow, that's called an autopsy or a car accident.
All right. Today, we have an email from Joy who wrote to us to say. Joy. I don't know, you just throw that out there.
Joy. It's a great name. It is a great name. I mean, you could be like, it's like Steve Martin when he talks about playing a banjo and he's like, death, you know, it's like, you can't, you can't be sad playing a banjo.
If your name is Joy, I mean, how can you be like, emo and dark? You're like, Joy, I want to die. I hope I bleed the death through my toes. It's just kind of a, it's a name that sets you up for, for happiness.
That's true. Oh my God. All right. She says, hi boogie and Kathy.
I'll start by saying thank you so much for continuing to do awesome work, even during the shittiest year of all time. Out of the many podcasts, I listen to PP is the one that never fails to put me out of a dark mood and I love you all for it. See boogie, she has dark moods too. Yeah, but her name is Joy.
So they can't last long. That's all she has to do to snap out of it. Joy. Like literally it's anywhere.
Just you could be anywhere. Just you could be like, oh, I'm going to go with Joy. And her brain's like, oh, sir, told him. Oh my God.
All right. Here's what she says. She says, I wanted to reach out and ask your thoughts on a situation I often find myself in. I have a lot of amazing vanilla friends and many of them are aware of my kinky proclivities.
A handful of them are super open and curious to hearing about my adventures and feelings regarding kinky BDSM. However, there are others who are open and accepting, but kind of seem to get that deer in the headlights vibe when I start talking about my kinky activities, even after I have asked for consent to talk about it with them. I'm not even talking about how hardcore of a scene I did or anything. It's casual things like I went to this cool rope workshop or I'd love to try self-suspension someday.
They'll say things like, oh, that's cool or sounds interesting, but then not really know what to say from there and kind of just get quiet even if I elaborate. Because of this weird freeze reaction I've gotten from a few friends, I'm nervous about casually coming out to friends who I know would be accepting if I told them about my kink. My question is in two parts. First, what are some chill ways to bring up the fact that I'm in the kink scene with my vanilla friends?
And second, how do I deal with the kind of nervous, uncertain reactions I get from friends who want to be supportive, but just do not know what to say? So I thought we could take one of these questions and we could both give our answers. Sure, which one's first is some chill ways? Chill ways to bring up the fact that I'm in the kink scene with my vanilla friends.
Totally, totally easy. Check this out. When you're at your friends and you're at your social gathering and you're playing like Jenga or whatever the hell you do when you hang out with your non-kinky friends, reaching your bag and pull out one of Kathy's dildo on a stick and start moving your Jenga pieces with that without even saying anything. Just start fucking Jenga fucking that pile.
And then if it falls over instead of saying Jenga, say, joy and then start sucking the dildo. Oh, yeah. And that I'm pretty sure will start a conversation. Oh, Boogie.
Boogie. I maybe joy. Maybe other people, I'm like joy, don't know that you're kidding right now. I'm really not because that's something I would do, you know.
Right. But you're not normal. Normal people don't want to alienate their friends. No, no, of course.
I mean, that's obviously something you do if people are kinky and you're doing that little kinky game night and you wouldn't do it. There are, timing is a lot. When there's a joke or a comedian does a bit and you're like, did you see the comedian do the bit about so-and-so and then you laugh, ha, ha, and then you're like, well, I love that kinky stuff. What about you?
You know, there are definitely ways that are easier than just being like, you know, and then once again, if it's not a natural conversation and you're pushing that conversation, then it's not chill. Right. Chill means chill. Chill means that you're okay if that conversation doesn't happen, which will then get into the why is there a need for that to happen in the next one.
I think, you know, comedy, I know the turkey video that I did, like a lot of people emailed me and said, I came out to my family with that video because it was so fucking stupid and goofy that I showed it to them and they're like, oh my God, that's fucked that guy's crazy. And they're like, yeah, you know, would you believe I'm into this stuff? And they're like, you beat turkeys? And they're like, no, you know, but things that disarm those potential fears that people may have or those preconceived notions of evil and whatever, you know, sometimes those work.
Right. Here's my answer and it's uncomfortable and unpopular answer coming in three, two, one, here goes. There are no chill ways to bring up kink to friends. I'm sorry, but that's like saying, what are some chill ways to bring up my sexual desires to my friends?
Kink is a tricky subject. There is no way that you're going to find a chill way to discuss it with people you're not being intimate with. So maybe I'm saying that because maybe you should give it the gravity it deserves. Kink is a fringe element, the people who don't understand it.
And I don't think that most people are comfortable discussing someone else's desires, the things they find pleasure in, the erotic elements that they like in their lives and with their partners. Most people are still not comfortable with it. And it doesn't mean that they're proved. There's anything wrong with them.
There are simple boundaries that I have found in life with my family and friends. They don't want to know too much. The best time I ever had talking about this to somebody was a friend of mine who said, you know what, I don't want to hear about that. I love you, but that's just too much information for me.
Bravo, that was perfect. That's what I need to hear. Let's go have lunch and I'll never bring up my kink. Even if I was a little offended, that's not her problem.
That was my problem. But now I know people who communicate well. And unfortunately, well, I'm going to leave this to go to the next one because it leads into the next one. But I think I was being kind of trying to be funny about it.
But the reason I was that I don't think that you should be chill about stuff like this because there's a weight to it. This is a conversation that is not easy to have with just anybody, even if they're friends and even if they're close friends. So it does deserve that gravity. So let's go on a second one, shall we?
I suppose it's just because I don't really have a lot of people that I consider valuable friends. I get that. Like if I offend them or whatever, it's like, fuck you, you're hanging out with a guy named Count Boogie. Like I'm perpetually perverted and kinky and I don't really have any friends that don't understand that.
And I don't see any value in having, like in work situations or things like that, obviously I don't have a need to talk to you about fucking anything in my personal life. Right. That's a very unusual choice you've made. Not many people make that choice.
It's the kind of choice that someone makes when they say I'm going to have some tattoos put on my face. You are making a life decision there that will alter everything you do from now on in a similar way. You've chosen to do that. And there's a great deal of bravery involved in that and something to really be in awe of because not too many people do that.
Right, right. All right. Shall we go into the second one? Yes, we shall.
I have certain reactions I get from friends who want to be supportive, but just don't know what to say. Would you like me to go first? It's intelligent. I can go first.
You can go first. Whatever. I will start with this. I'll start with this and see how this lands because the first question I had and I don't know if it answers this question, but I know this is for me.
Like if I'm really cutting through my crap to my lowest common denominator, is there a part of me that is secretly hoping that they'll become kinky or curious about it? That's why I feel it's so necessary to talk to them about my kink because like you said, that's your sex. Nobody gives a fuck about your sex. Unless you're like with your girlfriends or your bros or whatever and you're like, you know, blah, blah, blah, sex, sex.
Like, what is really the need to do that? Is it that I love kink and I want everyone to be kinky? Am I trying to convert people? Right.
I am right there with you because my answer to that was a question also. Why do you want to come out to your friends? That is a question that requires, I think, deserves an answer before you move forward to do that. She had originally said a handful of them are super open and curious to hear about my adventures.
That's great. When you have a handful of friends who are open and curious to hear about it, consider yourself lucky because a lot of vanilla or non-kinky people don't. What you're talking about here is how do you deal with the others who get the deer in the headlights look even after they've consented to hearing about it. The reason, ask yourself why?
Why do you want to drag those people into the super open and curious category? Because I don't think you're going to be able to. And there may be a reason, maybe a couple of reasons why they're getting the deer in the headlights. Look, they are curious in the same way that you would be curious to know what the gossip for the, you know, surrounding your coworkers or some of your family members and you want to hear it.
But that's the end of it. You just want to hear that and you don't really want to go further. That's why we watch, you know, YouTube videos that only last five minutes or we want to read the, the enquirer or any number of things that are available out there that give us that fix for five minutes. It doesn't mean, yeah, go ahead.
It doesn't mean that they're bad people, but there may be a limit to what they want to hear. They love you. They don't think anything is wrong with it. They certainly can send into it.
But maybe that's the end of the conversation. Oh, really, you're into that in the same way that if somebody told me I've decided to start taking up mixed martial arts. I have zero interest in mixed martial arts. I have an interest in my friend.
If you want to tell me about it, that's cool. That's an topic that I don't, you're going to bore me to tears if you continue talking about the minutia of mixed martial arts, just like creative explorer with his games. I get this glaze look in my face where I feel like I want to go into a coma because I don't want to hear about these board games anymore. It doesn't mean that I don't love him, but there's a limit to what, how much I will listen to something that doesn't interest me.
So their interests may not go past a certain point. They may also be trying to be nice and say, well, I'm not good at turning my friend down. That is what one of the points that I would make is that they're just like, you have these like, these are my friend moral rules and obligations and I'm supposed to be a supportive friend while they're talking about this thing. It actually makes me really fucking uncomfortable, which is like, like all those years I was a threshold, like especially doing rentals.
I handled like five or six gay men's sex parties a month, hundreds of dudes and many of these dudes I became friends with because they were amazing and we had great conversations about, you know, life and you know, things and what we thought about this and that just like people do, you have these conversations. But of course, it was all around the premise of setting up and managing and maintaining and dealing with the problems of these gay sex parties. And there was never a point to where even though I really enjoy talking to these people that I really wanted to hear about how much they love the feeling of equivering cock in their mouth, squirting come in their mouth. There was never a moment that I was like, yes, tell me about that.
I still like these people still had great connection. I still talk to a lot of those people, even though I don't do rentals anymore. I still touch base with probably about four or five of them. But yeah, I don't, it's the same thing with my dad.
My dad very early when I was so excited about King and I'd be like, oh my God, I had these two chicks and then they double ended till dough and then I just smacked one of the faces of my dad and he's like, okay, okay, okay. Okay. Because I wanted so bad for my dad to be like, titillated at how fucking awesome I was and, you know, like, you know, whatever I was trying to impress or whatever. And I had to realize that my dad is like, sees that that that makes me happy.
That's it. Right. He needs nothing else beyond that. And at a point, if you keep pushing that on someone, you're actually abusing the person you say you care about.
Right. And that's very true. And as going back to circling back to the first question where she says, she'll have some chill ways to do it. Any number, that's a good way, not chill ways to bring it up, but there are a number of ways that you can bring up.
Yeah. I make comments or statements like, yeah, I like a feel of rope around my wrists or yeah, I'm, you know, a little spanking here and there and never hurt anybody. Ah, it's not funny. And if someone is interested, believe me, they'll ask you, they'll jump right on that because they're been waiting to tell you that they're kinky.
Exactly. So, oh my God, me too. Oh my God. Get the chenga dick.
Okay. Joy. You suck it and then fuck me in the ass with it. Joy, joy, joy.
Joy. Joy. Oh, joy. Okay.
Joy, I hope we haven't turned you up. You know what I forgot to say is that at the end of her email, she said, also I studied evolutionary biology in college. So when you guys started talking about the evolution of monogamy in humans in episode three or four, I geeked out a little bit. Is that adorable?
Yes. Yes. And she probably said that both ends of the arguments for those listeners that didn't remember, it was pretty much where Kathy was taking the stance that monogamy is completely, it was biologically programmed into humanity. No, not biologically, evolutionarily.
Evolutionistically. Now, okay, well, we're not going to get into the debate again. And my point of view was that it was a nurture more than it was a nature. And then I'm like, well, I'm going to go look up some fucking shit.
And I spent about three days looking up and the answer was both because there's lots of cultures that polygamy has been in those cultures for thousands of years. And then there's also talking about monogamy as far as certain primates raising the young and animals and things like that. So it was basically nobody got to win that argument. That's why I didn't send Kathy 800 fucking studies.
I could win that argument, but we're not going to talk about that now. Oh, no, you couldn't, Kathy. I read. I'm like Tom Cruise.
You're being glib. You don't know what you're talking about. I read. I've read about this, Kathy.
You haven't read. But you have to say my name like he did to Matt Lower's name. Kathy. Kathy.
Kathy, listen to me. You're being glib. Why is fucking Tom Cruise in that conversation with that fucking guy was about something I'm passionate about. Tom Cruise always goes off on shit that you can see that there's a good point to it, but he goes to this next level that's kind of cunty and then you're like, you know, fucking blue at Tom.
I was on board with you. I'm a trained psychologist prescribed medication, but you made it an absolute and now you're a douche. He didn't want the, I'll tell you why. He didn't want to have a conversation.
That's religious zealotry what he was spouting there. So I could have a conversation and go, Hey, but yeah, read these studies and let's go over this stuff. And I am willing to change my mind. If you give me a good argument, let's talk about this because both of our goals is to find the answer to find the truth.
That's not what he did. No, but he's still fucking Tom Cruise and I fucking love him. Yeah, he's a nut. He's fucking, you know, he's nutty and cray cake, but dude, he's like, you know, he's like, electricity and he's fucking fucked up.
Watch. He is a fucking meltdown ready to happen at any time. God bless. And he got the fucking cool kid man.
11 years, Kathy 11 years. He got to tap that fucking ass. And then she finally went, all right, great. Bye bye.
No, no more. We're done. I'm going to go fuck Mexican wrestlers now. That's what I'm going to.
That is, that is less crazy. It didn't take the next one that long to say. No, no, no, no, no. She got over it quick, but fuck it.
Well, by then, we're like all current eventy now even. We're talking about some liberties. Current events. You know how old that is?
We're never current events. You and I, well, for us, I mean, I'm driving a 20 year or 30 year old car, you know, so for me, if I'm 10 years, 10 years away from the present, I'm like, what? Oh, he's sizzling hot. Sizzling hot right on the topic.
The cutting edge. This is what's happening in the world. 10 years ago. I wore something.
You sounded like Jiminy Glick just there. Oh my God. No, we're fucking no. Jiminy Glick was 15 years ago.
Oh my God. Let's end the show. Oh my God. That is the end of show three.
So, thank you to all of you who supported us by listening to our show, Pimping Us Out to Your Friends, tagging us on BetLife, or supporting us on patreon.com for us slash perverted podcast. If you'd like to reach out to us for any reason, drop us a line at pervertedpodcast at gmail.com or you can reach us through our BetLife profile, cleverly entitled perverted podcast. And, Catherine, I got to admit, I'm, I think we ended this show more as friends than the abrasive enemies I was geared up for. You know what did it?
You know what did it? I'm going to tell you what did it. Brofinger. The Brofinger.
Brofinger. Made you just go, you know what? I can't hate this guy that much because he's willing to brofinger me. And that's at this point something you're like, I would say I'm probably 20% away from that almost being a consideration.
Yeah, it's hard to be angry at some or abrasive with someone who actually wants to finger you for your pleasure. Right? Yeah, that's why I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it because you know I need finger exercise.
You need to exercise those things. I can play guitar. I can play guitar. You know, guitar strengthens your fingers.
If I'm brofinger in you, it's because I want you to fucking nut. Okay. I'm going to brofinger you and I want you to chick nut and then we'll fucking, you know, get some chicken wings. I'll be like, hey Boogie, play some stairway to heaven on my clip, would you?
Oh my God, that is so the not effective. I have a whole comedy bit about how to eat pussy and how not to because guys are like, do the alphabet on her clip. I'm like, what? That is the dumbest fucking thing.
Like, what if she only likes W? Like what the fuck dude? Is she just going to be like, acts, acts? Give me acts.
The purple ball rolls down the hall, spell it, fuck her. The dumbest fucking trick. It's the stupidest advice anybody could give to someone. Yes.
The best advice is why don't you work with the individual? Ah, that's a novel idea. Yeah, read some body language, dickfucker. Check out the vagison.
Get the brofinger is in there. Ask her. Would you like me to put in a finger? If she wants a finger, even if they're not that communicative, I have found that if you ask, would you like a finger?
They'll say yes. Hey, that's a good, that's talking about communication. I, if someone is going down on me or is fingering me and they actually are interested in my orgasm, I will talk you and communicate with you to death explaining exactly how to play my clip, how to do I'll be like, no, no, no, a little bit harder. Okay.
Okay. I'll slow down, back up a little bit. I will tell you what to do. You'll unfurl the papyrus, let's just like rolls down the floor that has like hieroglyphics and charts and shit like this.
You know, they built the pyramids with a base and that's kind of where we're going to start. That would be hilarious. Oh, were we eating a show? We were.
It's not talking. All right. We'll see you guys next week for 311, which was a cool kind of sca punk band in the 90s. My opinion, not as raw and cool as sublime, but 311 had a phenomenal drummer and that's the show we're going to do next week.
Phenomenal show. See you next week.