EPISODE · Apr 21, 2026 · 48 MIN
#312 What Makes Attraction Magic Happen | Paul Eastwick, PhD
from SuperPsyched with Dr. Adam Dorsay · host SuperPsyched ©
Dr. Adam Dorsay hosts UC Davis psychology professor Dr. Paul Eastwick to discuss his book "Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection" and what research shows about attraction and relationship longevity. Eastwick contrasts stated mate preferences with what predicts attraction and satisfaction in real interactions, highlighting the importance of feeling supported and subjectively finding a partner sexy, even long-term. They discuss how vulnerability, listening, and reciprocal disclosure can spark early intimacy, and how an evaluative “shopping” mindset can undermine dating. Eastwick argues humans are a pair-bonding, often serially bonding species, citing motivated biases that favor current partners and genetic evidence suggesting low historical nonpaternity rates (~1%). They cover mixed-gender friendships as predictors of later relationship formation, relationship “construction” around shared elements, research on consensual non-monogamy (including jealousy/compersion differences), similarities across same- and mixed-gender couples with contextual challenges, and the value of grace during breakups.00:00 Welcome to SuperPsyched00:28 Why Attraction Matters02:20 Traits That Predict Love03:56 Support and Desire05:28 Keeping Sex Alive07:57 Vulnerability Is Attractive10:00 Dating Without Judgment13:59 Monogamy Myths17:09 Biases That Protect Bonds19:47 Jealousy and Infidelity21:48 Humans as Pair Bonders24:45 Infidelity Context25:19 Mixed Gender Friends29:16 Relationship Growth Tips33:31 Jealousy And Polyamory38:29 Same Sex Relationship Data40:12 Dating Apps To Groups43:47 Graceful Breakups Skill47:30 Final Thanks And WrapHelpful Links:Paul Eastwick, PhDBonded by Evolution Book
What this episode covers
Dr. Adam Dorsay hosts UC Davis psychology professor Dr. Paul Eastwick to discuss his book "Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection" and what research shows about attraction and relationship longevity. Eastwick contrasts stated mate preferences with what predicts attraction and satisfaction in real interactions, highlighting the importance of feeling supported and subjectively finding a partner sexy, even long-term. They discuss how vulnerability, listening, and reciprocal disclosure can spark early intimacy, and how an evaluative “shopping” mindset can undermine dating. Eastwick argues humans are a pair-bonding, often serially bonding species, citing motivated biases that favor current partners and genetic evidence suggesting low historical nonpaternity rates (~1%). They cover mixed-gender friendships as predictors of later relationship formation, relationship “construction” around shared elements, research on consensual non-monogamy (including jealousy/compersion differences), similarities across same- and mixed-gender couples with contextual challenges, and the value of grace during breakups.00:00 Welcome to SuperPsyched00:28 Why Attraction Matters02:20 Traits That Predict Love03:56 Support and Desire05:28 Keeping Sex Alive07:57 Vulnerability Is Attractive10:00 Dating Without Judgment13:59 Monogamy Myths17:09 Biases That Protect Bonds19:47 Jealousy and Infidelity21:48 Humans as Pair Bonders24:45 Infidelity Context25:19 Mixed Gender Friends29:16 Relationship Growth Tips33:31 Jealousy And Polyamory38:29 Same Sex Relationship Data40:12 Dating Apps To Groups43:47 Graceful Breakups Skill47:30 Final Thanks And WrapHelpful Links:Paul Eastwick, PhDBonded by Evolution Book
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#312 What Makes Attraction Magic Happen | Paul Eastwick, PhD
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