This show is sponsored by Hitler, Hitler just like under me covers on motherfucking show with love. Who let the dogs out? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Take at me.
Who let the dogs out? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Jazzy, what is that thing? Have you ever seen like, what is it, the postmodern jute box where they take regular songs, hit songs, and then they turn them into jazz swing vaudevilly burlesque?
And it's amazing, like these things have billions of views. Like, fly me to the moon. Yeah, kind of like that, except they'll do it with like, Radiohead Creeper, you know, Sevanation Army or stuff like, and the performers are just un-fucking godly amazing, like just the next level. So I think they should do, who let the dogs out?
Who let the dogs out? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, bitch. Very, very semi-dabist, too. You don't want the dogs out?
What the? Are you ready to do a show? I am ready to do the show. For the listeners!
Then let us dig in. What do you feel your sex life is at my plate? Verdict Vogas. That's what you're going to be, babe.
Verdict Vogas. Going on getting world on me. Verdict Vogas. Verdict Vogas.
Yay! Hello and welcome to the Verdict Vogas. A show where we explore the adventures of the kinky lifestyle, sex, and the human body. We're recording tonight from an existential place in the universe.
You'll never know where Book Unite are. I'm Kathy. I am a pan-dimensional boogie. And Kathy, what a week.
I'm not sick anymore, so that's good. Hey. That was legitimately. You're not hacking up all kinds of stuff?
No, it's been, I'm feeling a lot better. I am in the library. I did my fat video today, so I was pretty excited about that. Humiliated myself, but just did it.
Why have they need to do that? Well, I didn't send it to you yet, but I had a little jingle about, you know, because there's a joke. A lot of people are covering it now. Nicky Glazers done a good run on it when, like, it's only creepy because I'm ugly.
Like, when somebody gives you a little smile, but they're fucking ugly, you're like, ew, ew, god, they're so creepy. But like, if they were hot, then all of a sudden, you're like, ooh, you know, you hear all of a sudden very welcoming of little winks and nods and things like that. So I figured I did a little jingle to that, which I'll play right here. It's only creepy because I'm ugly.
When I flash a flirty smile, if I was hot, should be so witty because I'm fat, you think it's vile. Meh. And now you're going to pretend that you heard it before. I hate pretending.
Can I do a faux pretend? Just pretend. I do a faux enthusiasm. Okay, faux pretend, go ahead and do that now.
Wow, that was so cool. The thing I just heard, because I just heard it, boogie, and it was so cool hearing it. I'm glad you like it, Gabby. But what's really important about that is that to add to the joke, I said 260 something pound boogie should do like a shirtless dance in a TikTok video for.
Oh, god. And I did it. And I was like, wow, you know, you don't really get a good look at yourself when you're in my kind of living situation. So, you know, the camera, you know, they say the camera doesn't lie.
And you know what, Gabby? It doesn't. You are correct. It is truer than a motherfucker.
It is true that the camera doesn't lie. It was, I mean, there was jig like I flicked it a couple times and like a wave, like a cross the seven seas just created a wave of my fat that just went from one end to the other. And but I did it, you know, and I don't care if people body shame me because it's fat and it doesn't look pretty. And it's, you know, let's, I'll be the fat guy.
But it's kind of weird. You and I are very different in that regards. I don't post a video like that to say, look, I'm proud of my body. I'm not proud of my body.
I think it's a, it's a sign that I'm incredibly unhealthy in my choices, which we're not going to get into, you know, that in this segment. But instead, it's, I'm just going to poke fun at it and just accept this is what I am right now. Why do you say that you and I are very different? Well, no, no, no, I mean, you and I, collaborative are different than the general public consent.
Oh, I thought you were different from each other in that right. No, no, no, you and I are too fat chubby fucking peas. Oh my God. Shall I tell you a fat story that's going to embarrass me?
Because I have one. Oh my God. All right. So back when I was with Creative Explorer and he would make me, I'd be naked and he would make me crawl around in my hands and knees because he found it amusing.
And I found it incredibly hot even though I complained the whole time. So now I have a big belly and it hangs down. And so as I would move forward, my belly would just move forward like a wave and then slap back against my thighs as I went to. And so it was so loud and so obvious and so embarrassing that I would alter how I walked so that it wouldn't quite slap that loudly.
I don't know what's going on. He knew what was going on. Couldn't hear less. But it was mortifying.
Like a chuchu train. Every time I moved up, slap the other slap, slap, slap. Oh my God. It's just bad.
You know what? I'm going to buy a lottery ticket. And if I win the lottery, then you and I are going to be able to eat a little better and get in the pool and do some disco dancing or something. But for now, here we are.
Now I'm just looking to my keto and my intermittent fasting. And it's going ridiculously slow. But you and me boogie, we're going to do this boogie. Once again, I'm body acceptance.
I'm not body like a love it. I'm sexy, whatever. But I am very body acceptance. And this is where we're at.
So just own it. You know what I have in my to-do list? What? Me?
Kind of. No, I'm wrong. I'm wrong. So when all this started to go down, I was drowning so fast that I immediately got on my open to Google Doc.
And I was like, what can I do to just save off everything that's about to come down the pike on me? Because I could tell it was going to be bad. And I just started coming up with a list, a list of things to do. And one of them was stick with a keto and start doing intermittent fasting.
And then underneath that, I wrote, when I reach blank weight, which I'm not going to tell you what it is, start exercising. And in the parentheses, possibly with Boogie at the gym, not sure yet. And parentheses. Oh, that would be that would be amazing.
But if we do go, we have to have some sort of uniform. No, I'm not wearing a perverted podcast tank top. Oh my god. I didn't even go to that level.
I was thinking like, you know, the maniac shortcut, but why not? Why not promote that and be like, basically people will look at us two fat slobs wearing perverted podcast and go, well, I got to listen to that. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
Be kinky now, ask me how. But we need to win. And we're going to win, except for this next story that I'm going to tell you, it wasn't it was kind of weird. It was, I mean, it was almost amazing.
It's a library story because once again, library is literally like mental institution daycare. Like there are so many characters. There's the exorcist whispering lady that kind of is singing, but she sounds like she's, you know, doing demonic Latin, you know, every day. And then the guy that says, ow, there's this other guy and he sits over in the other side.
And every fucking day, like he should not be in the library because he just apparently injures himself 40 times a day every day. And he lives, you'll just hear, he's like, ow, oh, and then he makes groans like these, like it's kind of like that. He wants attention kind of thing. Like, are you okay, sir?
Did you hurt yourself? But he does it every day and tries to be fucking crazy. But anyway, so yeah, so there's always just amazing material at the library. And it does teach me to be, you know, a more patient person and obviously see what my foibles are and who knows what I'm doing that's annoying other people, but, you know, it's a learning process.
But I'm in the library and I sit in kind of the back where there's not a lot of people, you know, so I can stay away. And I, as we know, despise people that carry small dogs with them that don't need to. It's something I hate. I think you should kill yourself.
No, it's not that bad. Okay, maybe it's a little bad, but I just hate it. You don't bring your fucking dog everywhere with you, you know, have a life. Get out, be out by yourself.
It's okay. You'll survive life. But anyway, it's a conflict when the person carrying the stupid little dog is really hot. So then of course, you know, my penis gets involved.
And then I'm like, I really want to hate you and your little dumb dog, because you're in a library and, you know, just fucking leave your dog at home. So, but this one chick comes in. She's totally really like hippie cute and she sits the, it's like a little wiener dog or whatever. And, you know, it's cute, but fucking I want to drown it, but, you know, whatever.
Um, so it like sits on her lap and she kind of sits by me, but not like, you know, on purpose, but she does. And, you know, remember the Tiddy Eye rules, you know, like, because she's never wearing a bra and I think her nipples are pierced and it's amazing. So I'm like, well, you know, I get the little looks where I can, but I can't get like a good full Tiddy Eye on her. And so, but like yesterday, it was amazing.
It was like a perfect storm of Tiddy Eye opportunity, because remember, part of Tiddy Eye is not just, you know, they're not looking at you so you can get away with getting a look, but you have to make sure that other people aren't looking at you look, especially women, because they all talk and then it just ends your life. So you got to be really cool about it, but this was a perfect storm where there was nobody that could see me. And she was facing a book cabinet and looking at books on the shelf and her face was completely away from me, but she was kind of turned side and it was like just fucking like, you could see like little angels shining down light from heaven, because it was just like a magnificent pure moment of just free Tiddy Eye. And so I just kind of just casually look up, you know, because I'm not going to, you know, tongue rolled down like the fucking wolf and, you know, Warner Brothers cartoons or something, you know, just kind of look and I'm just, you know, take a deep breath and I'm like, Oh, that's very pretty.
And, you know, I just start to focus in on the Tiddy. She's looking totally away. And then my gaze just goes like maybe eight inches to the left. And that little fucking dog is fucking dead staring me in the fucking eye.
That's why she's got him with her. Like straight fucking I will cut you motherfucker look straight in my eye. And it's like I literally sat back and I'm like, what the fuck? And he's and it's would not and I like try to look at her again and just kind of leaned in like a fucking I will fucking rape you you fucking bitch.
Kind of look. And I'm like, bro, dude, you're a fucking other species. I'm not asking her for a number. Just back off and let me have the win.
And he's like, no, fuck you, you motherfucker. And I just totally like killed my t like it would not not stare at me directly in my eye. And it made me almost respect the dog almost almost. But I did I did, you know, it was a cock block.
It was a complete canine cock block. And I felt bad about that. This is quite a look into the male brain boogie. Well, as you can see, it's kind of empty in there.
It's a little all it takes is a doc cent to bring you down. Like literally like literally just totally through like just like you can see the lasers at that dog shot across the room directly into my pupils. Oh my God. That's why she keeps a little fucker with her as she knows.
She's trained him to give men the stink eye. God, like fucking stink. I from a two pound fucking creature really. God damn it.
Owned by a doxon. Shut up. Not funny. It's kind of funny.
That I helped you do with mental worries. Let's put the logic on the motor. Now we're better protected from a King shaming world. I swear to God, do that dog.
Look fucking through my soul. I, this is why women like dogs. Dogs have our backs. OK, whatever.
It's true. I wasn't like, I wasn't going to like grab her or something. It doesn't matter. The dog is going to own your fucking ass.
Don't come near my human in my soul. Feel ugly inside. It's felt shame. I'm going to look at you.
I so legit you. Whatever. Just do the fat like thing. Oh, your piece of mind.
Please know the author of every post we talk about totally told us that we could do it. All right. So back off, man. I don't know where that came from.
Just let it out, Kathy. This is a post by Ben and Jezorit, which I had to look up is that weird female religious cult in the book Dune where they all have their heads shaved or something like that. Oh, that's right. No, no, they weren't the Fremen.
They were the Ben and Jezorit. Right. OK, OK, because I want those fucking Fremen eyes. Do that.
Oh, my God. Listen to me. I read the first chapter of that fucking book and I had to throw it against the wall. I mean, any book that right off the bat has to give you an encyclopedia so that you can remember all the names and groups and everything.
I don't want anything to do with creative explorers. Try to get involved in them. You're out of your fucking mind. If you think I'm really past the first chapter.
Oops. You can always just skipped it or watch the movie like I did. It was even worse. I think I just was a great movie.
Everybody who loved that book. I apologize to our poster who graciously gave us permission. I'm your self buggy. Come here and I'm sick again.
She wrote a post call show is so pro. Hey, man. I don't think we've ever ever said we were pro. We're we're actually very pro amateur is what we say we are.
So Ben and Jezorit wrote a post called that time I outed everybody at the Munch Slash a flashback sandwich. I got to tell you, this is a very long post in which she talks about a lot of stuff. And again, once again, I had to hack it to pieces. I only chose one of her many bullet points.
Don't forget. This is up on our group page. You can look at the poster self. This is what she has to say.
The Munch that month was going swimmingly near the end of the evening. There weren't a lot of people around and I was sitting at a table with a group. And at some point during the conversation, we were all talking about an upcoming play party and someone said the word spanking and in utter abandoned glee, I hollered out while clapping my hands in time like the kid I often am. Well, spanking spanking.
Huge jaw dropping silence. The host of the night turned around and glared at me and said, I realized what I had done immediately. I felt embarrassed and worried and I apologized. It's easy for us to brush off the idea that real consequences can happen to those who are outed.
Going to any community event is going to carry an element of risk. People fuck up sometimes. Now I'm not talking about serial consent violators or people who just cannot seem to learn or adhere to some rudimentary rules. All of us have made mistakes.
All of us have burped up more often than we should. And I bet all of us have reached out and touched someone benignly without thinking to ask first. I'll be the first to admit it right here right now. None of us is guilt free.
And that doesn't mean that we aren't good candidates for hosting or attending events. But try not to be a jerk about it. Whether you fucked up or you're the one responding, give people a chance. It sounds like a 70s give people a chance song.
People of chance. I love this post. I mean, it was long and they said, Oh, normally I write really long posts and I'm just like, Oh dear God, I have no attention span. But I did make it through the entire post and was very happy that I did because my initial reaction reading this, you know, when I first saw it, Oh, that time I outed everyone at the munch.
You know, I'm like, Oh, wow, what happened? Blah, blah, blah. And then I heard what happened and I just had horror because you and I went to the same much, you know, the main munch for threshold. And maybe it's just been so long since I've been to a munch.
But like years, it's been probably like nine years since I've been to a munch. And I just had horror because I don't remember ever being trained on what roleplay like we had. I mean, we had a back room, but the waitress knew what we did. People knew what we did there.
That that that product, I don't remember that protocol of, Hey, remember, there's people that are here on the down low. So, you know, we're a social club or we're this and when the waitress comes with the food, you know, kind of turn your conversations. And definitely we told people to not dress in leather and fetish wear and stuff like that at the munch. But I don't ever remember really being trained in those protocols.
Yeah. Now I've been, and that's the thing about a munch. If you've never been to one or more importantly, if you've never hosted one, you don't realize the work that goes into you have to develop a relationship with the owner or manager of the restaurant or bar and the wait staff more importantly, because they're the ones who are going to be there the entire time. And it takes a while.
It takes a finagling when my Michelle and I and a couple of other ladies took over the domination party at Threshold, my Michelle wanted to do a munch as well. And we all, she had to get out to the restaurant. She wanted to do it out. She had to speak to the manager.
She had to have a very frank discussion with them. These people were on board with it and understood. And we were kind of sectioned off from the rest of the restaurant so that we didn't harm the straits. And so it was all good.
But I have been a part of another munch where I was just an attendee. I didn't host this at all. And it was held in the patio of a large chain restaurant. And that patio was very nice and it was visible through a wall to wall floor to ceiling window where you could see the dining room and the dining room could see you and it grew into a very popular munch.
It was very well attended, lots of people there. And we would get quite boisterous and have a good time because we were off on our own in the patio. We weren't, no one was really listening to what we said. Well, it turns out that there were several times where I was in the bathroom.
And it turns out that the people watching it from the dining room always had questions and they would see somebody in the bathroom or in the bar area and say, I saw you out there. What group is that? They looked interesting to them because it was so many people having such a good time and whoever it was that answered would usually not hold back and say, Oh, we're a bunch of kinky people who practice BDSM. And I would, I'm in the bathroom stall listening to this going, Oh, you stupid motherfucker shut the fuck up.
You don't realize what you're doing. And to my shock, this happened almost every time I was there. Well, it didn't take long for at least one of these people that people, you know, proud be boasted to, went to the management and had a problem with it. And that's all it took.
And that much was the henceforth after years of being there banned from that location. So you can out somebody, not out somebody. Someone could just say a few things. You're out in public.
You forget because you're with all your friends and you let your guard down and you think it's all fun and everyone's just going to have a good time and they're not. You're going to have a bunch of, and this is my opinion. Fucking proves who are in a restaurant with their kids thinking that the crazy kink people are going to infect their kids. When in reality, nobody was acting out, there was no play.
Nobody was doing anything inappropriate. The, the hosts of this much were very careful to stamp down anytime they would see someone even jokingly spank someone or do anything like that. And so you never know, like she says in the post, you never know when that is going to happen. Some here was as much that went on for years and was so popular.
And all it took was a couple of people just being proud of what they were doing. And then a couple of fucking prude wrinkled old ladies saying, Oh, how dare those people come out public and before you know what the whole thing is history. Yeah. I mean, it really brought back the whole idea of training and vetting and who you let to your munch and whether or not you want your munch, uh, attendance to be open to the public, you know, meaning open to any kinky people to just wander in.
Or if you say, Hey, before you attend the munch, you have to go through some sort of, you know, email orientation or, I mean, there's a lot of things that you can do all the way from very, very protocol oriented, uh, to just basically making sure that when someone's new and they sit down next to you and you say, Hey, you knew and they say, yeah, then you have one of the leaders at least go, Hey, just remember if anybody talks to you or asks you what we're doing here. This is what we all say where this social club and, uh, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, like have your stories in order because if you really don't and you allow people to be excited because you cannot deny the innocence and the excitement of somebody finding a kinky family for the first time. Absolutely. And just that rush that, it's, it's literally, I mean, I used to be a evangelical Christian.
It is the same exact triggers in your brain, the same feeling, the same elation that you have a family that you belong to something and even more so in the same case because now you don't have to be repressed. You get to be your goddamn self and that excitement is really easy to want to share. And I've heard you talked in the past about how, how long do we hold someone accountable for something that wasn't innocent mistake versus somebody, like she says, who is a serial rule breaker or constantly crossing boundaries that they know they shouldn't cross. There's a difference I think between someone who makes a mistake once and someone in the community, gently and positively mentors them or guides them and says, don't say that because, you know, and that person learns from it and they move on.
Everybody makes mistakes. Just like she said. Yeah, I agree. The intention of the crime or the level of ignorance and the willingness to learn from it, you know, that should really dictate the level of public scorn because once again, that's something where it's real easy to get righteous.
And the poster really pointed out very well, hey, whoever is without sin, cast the first stone, because it's true, we've all made those mistakes and those small mistakes can have major, major consequences in people's lives. We are not putting that lightly, but people are going to make mistakes and how you proceed, the type of person that just goes right for your throat and you don't belong in this community and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like that person's got their own set of goddamn problems because everyone, I'm not going to say everyone deserves anything because nobody deserves any but you're going, I promise you, when I'm attacked for a fuck up, I get defensive and you're less likely to get growth out of me. You're less likely to get anything other than defensiveness.
Patients will almost always be the best for making a positive desired outcome. And setting back and I think what happened in this situation and what's happened in situations with me were either, you know, someone who's in leadership at the club or the DM or whatever is like, hey, you know, this is a rule, we don't do this, you know, or don't touch my fucking pet, you know, you know, those types of things, things that I learned early, early. Well, I don't know what the fuck a pet is. I didn't know what a pet was.
I totally, I'll tell you, I went to a slave auction. I think I shared this in a show before, but it's been long enough that I could say, here's one of my many early faux pas. So I went to a slave auction. I purchased the cutest slave that the girl that I was all crushing on.
And we had in just this amazing chemistry, like it was fire. So, so I sit down with her and we're just like, she just want to rip each other apart. So, so we're negotiating, you know, because I learned about negotiation and okay, here's what I want to do and here's what you want to do. And what do you think about this?
And she, you know, when that chemistry is there, you're like, we could just fuck each other right on this table in the kitchen kind of thing. It was really hot. And then she saw what you have to talk to, you know, to this guy. And, you know, and she said, I'm his pet or something like that.
And so then he sits down with me, you know, because I'm a stranger in the situation. And he's like, well, what are you going to do? And I said, oh, we're going to do this and this and you know, a little bit of this. And he's like, okay, well, she's my pet.
And, you know, I had no fucking idea what a pet was. You know, I thought like, oh, pet was, you know, blah, blah, blah. And that's fine. A little, a little term of affection.
Yeah, well, term of my affection. It's nice to look out for her, but he, I'm going to go and try to fucking just molest the fuck out of her. And I did because she was so into it. And I'm like, I'm going to put my fingers in you.
She's, oh, yeah, and I'm fingering or whatever. And then all of a sudden it just ran. We start making out. And I see this guy hovering all over the background and, you know, like after we're done and whatever, we're just like, you know, we didn't fuck or, you know, whatever.
But, you know, just it was a lot of sexual. And then all of a sudden he's like, you know, you kissed him, how you kissed me. And like all this stuff. And like, he's all upset.
And then, you know, there was, I don't know what I do. You said it was cool. You know, I didn't know there was like a relationship. So it was emails back and forth.
And I go, I don't know what a pet is. And he's like, yeah, a pet implies some sort of ownership. And we probably shouldn't negotiate more of the sexual stuff. Well, it sounds like it wasn't just a high learning curve for you, but for them, too.
I mean, for them to walk into this fucking landmine without seeing it coming. Well, I mean, not everyone thinks they're walking into a room with a love Adonis. Oh my God. Why did not I just walked into that?
I, how did I not see that coming? Because it's like when I throw, you know, it's not a lot of women. It's not a high percentage. But you know, when I throw my magic, it's kind of hard to deny.
No, having, how come hosting a podcast with you is very busy because you go from, I'm a big fat slob and I'm a loser to I'm in a daddis and I just never know where I stand. Do you not know what a cognitive dissonance is or dichotomy or multiple personality spectrum? You know, you're throwing all these fancy words at me. I don't understand.
This is all new that we can't have a love. Hey, if we, Kathy, if we didn't have a little bit of a love, I mean, we trash ourselves and even to the point to where I'm like, okay, I want to have a meeting with you and maybe we should, you know, try to balance that a little bit more because it's been a little more trashing, Kathy and Boogie were, you know, the piece of shit thing than, then these are the good things about us because there's a balance. But people, I think, know there's a balance. There's a healthy ego that we both know.
We kind of rock deep. Um, I think it comes out. I think people know perfectly well that they're part of us. It's just fucking around with each other.
And the other part is being deeply honest. And I think they appreciate all that about us. And I think that I don't even like giving it this much thought. This is our fucking podcast.
We can say what we want. And say more outbursts this show and say we do, Kathy. We do say the things. But yes.
So anyway, that's just another story of the types of mistakes that can happen. In this situation, I think it was handled well. I think it put a lot of food for thought with me. If you're going to attend a munch, once again, the same thing, the pandemic is, well, sort of winding down for some people, some things are opening up when you start going back to your public events and your munch is and get togethers.
You, you need to recirculate those rules, go over those rules again, talk to your hosts, make sure that everyone remembers, hey, there may be people at this public event that have some things to lose if it was to out. And it's already a big enough risk to go to a place and meet new people, uh, then to also risk losing your job for it. Right. Good.
Good post. And I apologize to all of the Benning Jez are right out there who I have insulted unwittingly because I don't like the book. And thank you to our poster for letting me talk about. Can't you just skip over fucking chapter one and just enjoy it.
Okay. Listen, if you really want to get into it, I, I don't, I find it incredibly lazy. And I'm, this is a very unpopular position. I have, I find it very lazy when an author decides that they're going to throw so much shit at you all at once that they require an encyclopedia for you to keep up on it.
The best right authors I know, the most entertaining books I have are the complex ones that, that just make this entire world that lives on its own. That's so interesting that you could read the book over and over and over again. And the whole series over and over and over again, but they do it in a good way. They do it in a very artistic and creative way.
And then you have motherfuckers like this guy who wrote, dude, who throw everything, including the kitchen sink at you. I couldn't get first past the first five pages without going, wait, what? What is he talking about? And I would have to go back and say, Hey, great.
What's for? What the fuck is that? Oh, that's a set. And he would launch into this 10 minute conversation.
Okay. So it was like, blame to me. What a Benning Jez are it was. And I'd be like, okay, so now I got this few sentences down the line.
I'd have to stop again and ask them because the author is not doing it the right way. There. That is my rant. Okay.
So it was more the added on tweaker explanation on top of what you're already reading. It's just bad writing. I'm sorry. It's lazy writing.
I'm not going to take this time to craft it so that the reader goes along for the ride. I'm just going to throw every fucking thing that is in my head at you at the same time. There. Hey, now I pissed off everybody.
You know, okay. Maybe if I edited that part out, don't you edit it out or I'm going to go all people on your ass. Cause you already know that. No, that's my dog defending me going, you fucking edit a word out of that.
And I am. Oh, oh, my. She had a doxon. I have a pit bull man.
My hopes and dreams of one day dying and going, you know, the show was tight. The show was, I just wanted to do a tight show that made, you know, that made me proud. That's you sound like just the old man after years of smoking. I had a good show.
Well, I don't think we just do it. Just give in, you're never, you and I are not going to reach the end of our lives thinking that was a hot damn professional show we had. No, no, Kathy. No, that's not.
I'm not giving up that hope. Is the world news? Social enigma? I don't know.
Let's ask enigma. He should know because he's got the same name. My dear friend, Enigma. Yes, Mr.
Booke. Dear God, Enigma, it seems like it's been a hundred thousand million virgin years. Virgin years. Yes.
That means every day we go without regular fucking time, you become more and more virginal. Oh, well, then at that case, I am, I am like a sweet dove that has yet to be released. Into the world. I think I've grown a hymen over my nutsack.
That's how, how virginal I become. Yeah, my, my regular partner, sort of regular partner has had like a summer job. And so that has taken up a lot of their time. Have you got any play though?
Um, got a little bit like very like casual stuff, but nothing terribly intimate. But hopefully there are plans to change that in the next couple of weeks. Well, hopefully your scrotal hymen will be removed shortly. Thank you.
In the meantime, yes, yes. In the meantime, Pookie, our first article comes from lifehacker.com.au. Um, and this one is does sex count as exercise? He he he he.
Sex isn't only a pleasurable experience, as we're discussing, but with reports claiming that the act can have health benefits compared to exercise. So the part of the part of the research that they're looking at in this article, um, has been on the Masters and Johnson studies on sex in the sixties. And those that you showed, people had an increase in respiratory and heart rate and blood pressure. Thankfully, there have been some more recent studies that have replicated the results from those original sixties studies.
So that's still, uh, uh, next question is sex exercise. If you look at it from a purely physical perspective, yes, the body does group go through changes similar to what someone who has worked out goes through. So the heart rate, the flesh skin, the sweating, all of that sort of thing. But as far as physical, logical changes, it doesn't really count in the terms of more long term changes that actually working out would accomplish.
That'll being said, actually going and working out can improve your sex life. Uh, not just with the traditional methods you'd see at the gym, but something you can do right now, like Kegel exercises, squeeze it, squeeze it. Let's, let's do it right now. Let's have awkward male Kegel squeezing moment.
Are you ready on the count of three? One, two, three, lift your Kegel. Oh, I'm squeezing my Kegels with an egg. And release it.
You fuck you, man. I'm letting go, dude. I got a fat ass Kegel. Kegels are fat.
No, it was great. I used to listen. So our friend, Dr. Lencito has a podcast as well, and she would do regular Kegel exercises every time she would do an episode.
Well, you know, because of the last year, she hasn't really been able to do the podcast as much. So like, I forget to do them because like I would listen to her podcast and that would remind me to do them. Can I just haven't done them in a while? Because it's supposed to help the male ejaculation as well too.
Yeah, it's supposed to help everybody. Like it's, and it's not just a sexual thing, like doing Kegels will also help you keep the P in later in life when like that becomes more difficult, the older that your muscles get. If your Kegels are very strong, you'll like those muscles are wet control or do also control that kind of thing, like holding your P, holding your poop, that sort of thing. So like if you're working those out now, it's not going to help you sexually, but it's also going to help you in the longer.
Unless of course you're really into, you know, grown man, P, P play. I mean, yes. And just in just, you know, walking around and being like, deal with it. I mean, yes, that's kind of mean.
That's kind of mean. No, Kegels are very good. Is there anything more in the article that you wanted to show about before we start jumping into some of these ideas here? No, it was just kind of a straightforward, like it does count generally as a kind of a light exercise, but generally speaking, based on their research, most sex usually only lasts around 30 minutes, which doesn't really go for long term health benefits.
Very stuff. Enigma. Yes. This is an example of why these studies and research is so fucking skewed, so complete.
30. Do you does the average human even know how long 30 minutes is set a fucking clock? I promise you 33 minutes is not the average amount of time that people were having sex. Mu when Mu was in her study mode and working, she would be like, I want to come.
We would have sex. I would fuck her literally for three minutes. She would have two orgasms and be done. I think the average, I mean, and the average person maybe lasts what, like five to eight minutes?
Like what type of sex are you talking about? Are you talking about the thinking portion? Like, hey, maybe after dinner, we'll have sex. Is that does the clock start then?
In their minds. I think when you're like, you know, if you set up a thing, you know, for us, we're kinky. So of course, you know, doing the spanking and the interactive and the, you know, whatever playtime that you're having would elongate it. But 33 minutes for the average person to have sex, I think is kind of bullshitty.
True. But I mean, if you include like the foreplay, I like that. I think the buildup also counts in that. Have you ever been married for a long time?
I have not been married. No, before play is, you know, once again, we're kinky. So we set up a play scene and whatever. But after you've been with someone for a couple years, the whole idea that we're like building up anticipation for your, you know, like, I don't want to be grim about it, but I just it sometimes it's just a function, you know, from you, you know, all those years, you know, we live together, you know, and even people that I was with for a while, like a biz or whatever, like you have your times.
If you're active, if you were invested sexually with your partner, you will have times, maybe a couple times a month that you're like, oh, we're going to set up this thing and we're going to do a play scene and it's going to be involved in whatever. But the average like, Hey, let's have some sex usually goes pretty quick. You know, especially when you have vibrators and things like that, the orgasm, you know, even a biz would be, you know, you know, five, 10 minutes tops, 33 minutes. I don't know.
I'm being a dick, but I think people really need to set a fucking clock because I think your egos are going to be moderately crushed with how long because I've always heard that. I always heard like, Oh, the average sex is 33 minutes or an hour. And I'd look at the clock and I'd be like four minutes has gone by and and we are now finished this process. That being said, I'm just being a dick.
But you really are exaggerating most of your sex. Um, one thing that I would like to see, because we've heard the exercise stuff, you know, in that it's good, I'd like to see more studies on the long term psychological effects of regular sex, as opposed to the physical because obviously, if you're doing like, you know, when if you're having a lot of sex and you are setting the timer and you are pounding away for 33 minutes, which would give me probably art of deck, um, then obviously you are performing a level of cardiovascular and you're going to build your cardiovascular. But, but even a short amount of sex, psychologically, it's kind of like that life slice of pie. I'm not rich, but I'm fucking kind of thing.
Right. Does that make sense? It does make sense. Yeah.
Like there's things in life that you do and you work for that's kind of like a, like a, like a moment you shoot, at least for a guy, I think, where you're like, you know, I'm, I'm trying to get this, this and this and regular sex psychologically. I know when I'm having regular sex, even if it's just once or twice a week, um, which for some people is incredible, would be incredible if they were having sex two times a week and it was engaged and you actually liked the person you were having sex with. Let's throw that onto the pile too. Cause once again, those numbers are going to go way down on the average, uh, on the average couple worldwide.
But I think just having regular sex with your partner, even if it is brief, even if it is, you know, get your vibrator. Let's just fucking nut and, and, and you know, that's, that's it. High five each other and go back to watching Seinfeld reruns or whatever. I think even that is just so important psychologically because, you know, sex is such an important function of our physiology and evolution and whatever, even though it's not just for procreation anymore.
Um, I just think that it puts you in a headspace that makes you less likely to kill people. I mean, I, I've definitely read like anecdotal type studies about that or like people like talking to their friends or whatever, about how, how they feel better after they've had, when they're having sex versus not. And we've, we, we have touched on that a little bit over the last year and I'm sure there'll be more studies, uh, once like a lot of the rest, like there are still places that are a little bit on lockdown. Once that like, that, those constraints of COVID kind of lift, I'm sure we will see some studies on that.
But, um, yeah, no, I, I have seen that evidence and I have felt that evidence myself when I'm having that like regular intimacy and like it boosts your confidence, it boosts just like your self esteem, um, all sorts of stuff. So I was like, yeah, I would, I agree. I would definitely be interested in like official research studies on, on the topic. I also like the, um, the idea that this article mentions the, the reverse, which is that exercise makes your sex better, which anecdotally, I think most of us that exercise or have exercised or have gone through periods where they do a lot of exercise, absolutely does it make your, not only does it make your sex better, lasts longer, you have more energy, you know, for, for, uh, for men, you build up more testosterone, women build up more estrogen.
Not only is it a benefit physiologically, but when you are exercising, at least regular walking and things like that, like when I'm not exercising, I just don't feel sexy. I don't feel alive. I don't feel my, my circulation is weird. My muscles don't want to, you just kind of start hunching over your laptop and you're like, eh, I'll just watch some anime and then I'll jerk off the porn later, maybe like it just, your whole being, when you stop circulating, just goes to a very unsexy lumpy place and just getting out and walking or just even standing in place.
I mean, how many times in the library do I just literally lean against the table or lift or do little exercises and things just to keep circulating? But it definitely does build that sexy feeling. Oh, for sure. And I mean, there was definitely a point in the, like last year when the gym closed and I was, and like I'd realized that I don't have the attention span to work out at home and I could feel like my gut start to get bigger and the man boobs start to get bigger.
And I'm just like, Oh, this is not, this is not good for my brain at all. So yeah, definitely get it the last couple of months, I'm getting back into working out and like I'm starting to see that definition come back. I'm starting to get rid of all the flub like that I gained last year. Like it's, it's, I definitely, they definitely helps with the self-esteem and just in general mind, mind over bodiness.
I agree. Great article. Great article. Lots of fun.
All right. So our next article, and if you want to read any of our articles, please check out the list on our FETLite page or you can find them on our Discord server. Let's go to the one that triggered a manic anxiety, anger, rage response in me. Let's go to the fun one now.
Okay. If you couldn't tell, this one does have a sexual assault content warning. So if this is not your thing, it's okay to skip it. We will not be offended.
So this article comes from today.rowin.edu. It comes from Rowan University. And the article is called Rowan Researchers Seek to Identify Sexual Violence Risk Factors. So Dr.
DJ Angeloni and his team are working on a tool to gauge the risk of sexual violence victimization in gay and by men. The hope of this new assessment tool is to help men understand their perception of potentially dangerous dating situations. Men who have sex with other men may experience higher lifetime rates of sexual violence victimization than their heterosexual female counterparts. Part of the reason for the study is because this problem is so understudied by really everyone.
Angeloni hopes that the data, his team collects could also inform the development of future sexual violence prevention programs, specifically in the bi-gay male communities. And earlier studies have shown prevention programs targeting rapists aren't really effective and actually could make the problem worse. So part of what they're looking at in these studies is what makes them target in the first place and what about the victims, what about the perpetrators, make them do it in the first place and what about victims, make them on target. Oh, Nigma.
Yes, Spooky. Oh, dear, dear, Sweden, Nigma. Mike, Mike, my cay, my caygal buddy. I'm just going to go ahead and start with my rant.
OK. And then I'll give some opinions on this, which they spent $400,000 on this study. And I guess it's ongoing. And some of it is fairly socially obvious, but obviously you got to do a study so you can write it down.
Sometimes things you're like, well, duh, this is why it's more for this group than this group, but you need to do the study to, uh, to put it in paper so they can make policies. You can't make policies on anecdotal information. You have to do a study, you have to get your grants, and then you can put that information forward to your government and go through the bureaucratic bullshit and then hopefully put institute policies that make things better, hopefully. Right.
That being said, uh, this is an ongoing policy that is never dealt with and it's very frustrating. And my rant is this and we talk about this on the show at Nauseam, the sex positive community talks about this and most self actualized human beings talk about this. And that is most violent altercations. I'm not going to say all because we're not going to talk about psychopathy.
We're not going to talk about, uh, other, uh, more violent, aggressive personalities, but we're going to talk about a lot of conflicts that turn violent. Most of these things can be disarmed if we had a foundation of communication taught to us, uh, from childhood onward. If we had experience and understanding of conflict resolution, validating people's feelings, uh, a foundation of seeing other humans as a person and not just a thing to get things from that diffuses conflict that escalates when unresolved conflict escalates and excellates and you feel trapped and you feel powerless. That's when a lot of times conflicts turn violent or aggressive and then leading to violence.
So I'm going to always go back to my rant that if we spent a fraction of our resources and we stopped a few lame classes in our K through 12 curriculums, I don't know what they have another kindergarten through 12th grade, which is the mandatory that kids have to go through. If we drop some of the classes that don't really apply, uh, to life and started having mandatory courses on conflict resolution, uh, self actualization, individualism, those types of things, you would see a complete change in the conflicts between people and our society and we're not doing it. Nobody's talking to people. Talk about it and we don't and unless we go to the root source, which is that people need to learn how to communicate on a human level and deal with their emotions and understand that the other person has feelings and you have feeling until we deal with that, it's almost fucking just a waste of time to talk about this shit.
And that's what gets me so upset because it's just people are fighting because they don't know how to talk and there's nobody teaching them how to talk. If their parents didn't teach them how to talk, then they're not going to teach their kids how to talk and they're not going to work out problems that way. And everyone's just going to do the same thing, guilt, shame, guilt, shame. And then eventually everyone feels powerless and angry and then you start hating.
And and so that that's my rant. So you go ahead and make your points first and then we'll get into the domestic violence study. No, I think that's a lot of very good points. I, yeah, like these sort of things do get frustrating, especially when we had like the, the MeToo movement and several men tried to come forward and kind of be like, hey, we also got sexually assaulted sexually abused as well within the industry.
And a lot of them just got like shut down. Right. And so like it was just reinforced the unfortunate stereotype that men don't get raped. Like if they do it, it's because they're in prison or like it's the joke, like the butt of the joke is men getting raped.
But when we actually get into the data of it, like, yes, I know pretty much everyone I know has been either leered at or like sexually like used in some way. And that's that isn't diminishing there, what has happened to them at all. But if you talk to any gay male, they are guaranteed to have been raped or beaten or assaulted in some way. Um, and some, I think more aggressive, more aggressive and more violent way.
Um, then, then I think a lot of people want to admit. Well, this is where this is where we get into the anecdotal discussion where I look at that situation and I go, no duh. We have an entire society. And what you talked about the men coming forward in the MeToo movement.
Um, bolsters this opinion. Um, we, we have a society which for better or for worse, you know, I think it's better in a lot of ways. Um, you don't hit girls. You don't hit women.
You don't hit girls. There are horrible social consequences. Supposedly. They're really not, but we say there are, there's horrible social consequences for hitting a girl.
You don't hit a girl. That's the one thing you're taught as a boy. Don't hit girls. Boys don't have that.
Right. So you got two boys in a gay relationship. There's no, don't hit boys that same social pressure is not there. Mixed with the fact that there's no conflict resolution skills taught to anybody.
Isn't it kind of no duh that there's going to be more abuse among men? Yeah. No, there's definitely getting to be a more duh, but like we're, we're also trained that we like to not feel or to not just show pain, to not show emotion, to not be upset when things are going, like, like, if we're upset, then we're supposed to get angry and hit things. Like that's, that's, that's the thing.
Um, and I think my generation is trying to pull away from that, but I know growing up, like my dad never hit me or any of my family. But like he had, he did a bunch of all the couple times. Right. And like that's something that I watching that have been actively like, I, yes, I'm in a lifestyle where I get to hit people, but essentially, but like, as far as like my anger side of things, like that is something that I active, like I will get up and walk away from a situation before I, I like, if I feel my, my temperature rising, I will get up and walk away because I know that that is in me, whether and that's, I'm not hitting my dad at all.
My dad is a delightful human being. But like, I know that that's there. And so like my generation is working on that, but it's still me talking about those things. Like it has to be very specific people for me to feel comfortable talking about my emotions.
Like, right, it's taken months with my therapist to get to a point where I'm like, kind of comfortable talking about that. So like, I think when we talked about this with several of these articles, the fact that people are talking about this kind of shit is important. And the fact, like you were saying, like the fact that they're doing a an official research study that hopefully when it's done, it'll be like, here, here are the facts about this thing that are that we have done all of the science on and yes, they'll still people that call it bullshit, but like it'll be a lot harder to refute when they have like the numbers. But yeah, like you're saying, like we've come a long way.
There's a lot better, but there's still going to be there's still bullshit when we're like, you said, when we're not teaching the right things and when the parents aren't supporting it. And that's this is where I get frustrated. Like what's going to happen? They're going to do the study.
They're going to discover that, you know, men have a lot of abuse in their, in their game, bisexual relationships. And then what kind of law are they going to pass? How are we going to, you know, I'm really more into preventative. Like what you talked about in a walking away when that conversation, you know, gets heated that you need to, I'm in the same way because I am a hateful angry person.
I have, I have ran my head and fist into many walls and things as, as a younger person. And I had to learn those skills. Fortunately, you know, mine came through years in drug rehab programs and 12 step programs and things of that nature, even some aspects of the religions that I was involved in. They taught some things.
I mean, it was mostly guilt and shame in your shape person, gobble fix it, whatever. That's a whole other topic. But in general, unless you train away from that, because there's another side of this too, and this is the part that got me really frustrated and I don't want to get too much into it, is that the, it takes two detango in conflict. The law says, and it absolutely is true legally, no matter what you say to someone, you cannot legally hit someone for that.
That being said, I go right down the Bill Burr comedy routine. You're not supposed to hit someone. But if you're going to try to say that there aren't certain people that are that are aggressively antagonistic in their conflicts and how they approach their feelings being hurt by another people and having fingers pointed in your faces while people are screaming, vile shit in your faces. And you're going to tell me that, that there's not a responsibility there to learn better skills in your communication.
That's bullshit because people aren't perfect. If you try to push someone over the edge, you will push them over the edge. And we're not talking about domestic abusers that are chronic and you come home and, you know, they see that the doily on the table isn't folded. So they beat the shit out of you.
That is not what we're talking about. That's not what I'm talking about. But we're talking about the fact that everyone in a conversation has a responsibility to improve how they communicate with another person. So I'm not saying anybody deserves a beating, but I can say if you're going to say there's not reasons, if people don't give you reasons, if that's why I will not be in a relationship with somebody who's hot editor aggressive, I will not because that's I will, I will probably at some point lose my shit.
And so I would, I put myself in that situation that I would, now I'm the world's worst person in the world. I've had people that have sprung cray cray shit on me. I had one instance in the lifestyle where everything was normal, great communication, whatever. And then I said something about somebody else that this person was friends with and they fucking lost their shit on me.
And I was like, no, no, I apologize for the thing, but I know, no, no, I'm not doing it. So there's a lot we have to learn about this. And it did bring back, seeing this really did bring back a lot of painful stuff and a lot of frustration. But I don't know what the end result is.
Do more studies, I guess. Do more, do more studies, but also like talk about this stuff more, like be, be more comfortable talking about the hard stuff when you, when it comes up, like, I mean, that's also part of it. Like people don't like talking about certain topics. And so when they come up in important ways, like with this, it makes it even harder because it's already an uncomfortable situation.
But now you're, you're pushing people to talk about not only sex, but also sexual violence, but also sexual violence with gay men, which is still like, like the taboo joke thing. So like it's hard to approach it from a non-communic standpoint and still be comfortable with it. I think. Well, I mean, I think as we become as, as the gay guy thing, and I don't want to take away from once again, this article is about gay and bisexual men.
I think as we normalize these relationships more, which I think in the last 10 years, we've done a pretty damn good job of doing that. It's, it's not as big of a deal to think about people fighting and kind of take the sex out of it. Does that make sense? Yeah.
Then I know it used to be, you know, it used to be, you say the word gay and everyone, you got to make fag jokes because, you know, otherwise they're going to say you're gay. If you're just like, well, yeah, these two guys are together and then they, you know, this is what they do. So as you no longer have that trigger as much, I think people are more willing to understand the conflicts that that men will have in their relationships with each other. Yeah.
I think that makes a lot of sense. So let's just keep talking. Sorry. I got all weird and buttered.
No, no, it's, I think this is important for people to hear like it. This stuff gets deep. It hits deep. And like I think I think it's going to, uh, people who do stick around, I think it's going to definitely trigger some thoughts and hopefully some, some conversations.