322. Tony Hawk's Skateboarding Without Dying

Lords: Maxx Michael Topics: Reinventing pants Plortonomics (the economy in the game Slime Rancher) The Leaning American Maggie and Milly and Molly and May, by E. E. Cummings https://poets.org/poem/maggie-and-milly-and-molly-and-may Microtopics: Rabbits and writing. Buying the lede (but thankfully the rabbits dug it up) Lord Veterans Ancillary Justice, or The Imperial Radch. Rabbits who want nothing more than to chew louder than you talk. Leaving space for the elephant in the room Inventing a new kind of pants inspired by taiko drumming. After years, finally trying out your new idea for how to sew pants, and realizing that the waist of the pants only reaches the crotch. Pants that are only made of rectangles. The slow process of realizing what pants are. Rapidly becoming pants. The universe doesn't end with a bang, but with a zip. (Of the pants.) Inventing a new kind of pants and looking them up online and realizing that they already exist and the name is extremely offensive. Pants that are just a square of cloth that you fold around your leg. A new kind of pants where the crotch is higher than the waist. Disassembling the kimono to hang it up to dry. Looking up the etymology of "pants" and it comes from an ancient word that means "the thing you can't just fold around your legs, you have to find a pattern on ravelry and sew it" Back when "pants" were just two leg tubes that you tied to your shirt. Clothespins: they turn tubes into clothes. How pants are different for fat people. Clean room pants reverse engineering. Asking a tailor who's never seen pants to make you pants based on a verbal description of a Taiko drummer you saw once. Making plorts after eating. Vacuuming up the plorts. Extremely ineffective insider trading. The kind of crime you only get caught at if people hate you. Gathering data on when people didn't file a malpractice suit. Doctor Parsley diagnosing you with sleep apnea based on the width of your neck. Suing a little mouse for malpractice because his tiny thimbleful of chamomile tea didn't cure your hepatitis A. Wholesome farming games where you go back to nature and practice aggressive capitalism. Throwing your slimes into the sea. (Which is maybe made of slimes.) The fantasy of running at high speed down a hill. The fantasy of skateboarding without dying. Incentivizing the player to discover new plorts. The fantasy of being on friendly terms with your neighbors. Comparing your favorite Animal Crossing villagers with your favorite Love Island cast members. The two competing Britain's Favorite Gardener. A reality show where you check in three times on people doing a project. What the rest of the world does instead of leaving. Learning how to stand – normally a thing only babies do. Leaning on an inclined surface made for a butt. Leaning less when you're visiting Japan. Crab Doctor. Reading a poem before it's too late. Narcissists soaking French. Tag yourself, I'm the horrible thing racing sideways while blowing bubbles. As small as a world and as large as alone. Wikipedia Dad. Gauging how long an answer to give a child asking a philosophical question. The Final Plug of Maxx Yamasaki.