324. Do you need to call yourself out?

I was with a design client yesterday. This is one where we have worked together before so he knows he likes what I do and we have a common trust as far as our design client relationship goes. Now. We had attempted to start this project before the holidays but it sort of stalled for a few reasons, many of them being me. and it’s now March and we are picking it back up because he reached back out and asked if we could get together to move forward on it. I was relieved to get his message because I had been a little embarrassed that I had kind of dropped the ball there and was avoiding reaching back out thinking maybe he had finished it with someone else or even just done it himself. And it had been on my mind and kind of bothering me too. So why didn’t I just reach out instead of allowing it to be an unfinished, loose end hanging out in my brain that was giving me a low level of anxiety? After analyzing it, the project is a 30 min drive there and 30 min drive back. So it’s a little more inconvenient than most of my regular clients who are within a 10 or 15 minute drive. So we finally set an appointment to meet and I confessed to him that I was glad he reached out because I was embarrassed so much time had gone by without my following up. What I heard myself using as an excuse with him was the holidays, and that my brother in law had died suddenly and I’ve been very focused on my older sister, Heather. But as I was saying it. It felt like an excuse. And it’s a good excuse. It’s very very true. But my gut feeling is that I was using that excuse because it wasn’t the most convenient job I have. I have been spending a day a week with Heather just helping her with life in general and that’s a big change But that’s one day out of my week. I had the time, it was just more convenient to not pick that project back up. This last week my husband Eric asked me about Toastmasters. I again heard myself say well when Steve (that’s my brother in law) died toastmasters just fell off my radar. So there I was again, using that same excuse for the reason I dropped off going to Toastmasters. Something that really brought me joy but also a lot of discomfort. Toastmasters is on Friday mornings at 7am. Zero reason for me not to be picking that back up.  Of course missing a few when my brother in law died was a must. At this point the excuse is no longer valid. I’m using it for convenience. And look. I know some of you right now are thinking lighten up. Thats hard when you lose a family member. And it is. But it makes it a lot harder when you stop the things that bring you joy and fulfillment and make your life better. I think we have forgotten that there are always going to be hard things that happen in life. Life will be hard And then it’s going to be fun and easy and then it’s going to be hard again. That’s just what 100% of humans go through. So, If we drop good habits every time something hard happens in life, we will have no good habits left. And we will constantly feel like we are fighting an uphill battle because we stop and start good habits so they feel hard all the time. . Maybe you do this with the gym. Going to the gym used to be a chore for me. Now it’s just part of my life that I cannot live without because I’ve done it so consistently without stopping. Even through the hard times I don’t stop exercising, it’s a part of my life. A lot of times it still feels like a chore but it’s nonnegotiable for me. Sometimes we drop things when life gets hard because it’s convenient. Like me dropping toastmasters or a project that’s a little farther away then I prefer. So I’m calling myself out for using an excuse, no matter how justifiable it is....don't forget to listen to hear the entire episode...love you guys!