324: How to Break Up with Someone Without Being an A**hole

Yes, it's possible to break up with someone without being making the situation more hurtful than it already is. And while every break up will have degrees of messiness and pain, today we're talking about how to end a relationship in a way that helps everyone involved hopefully heal and move forward in a healthier way. The key to not being an asshole: honesty. To both your ex and yourself. Even if your intent is to minimize the damage, dishonesty and poor communication (or none at all - hi, ghosting) are guaranteed to make a bad situation worse. You can't control someone else's emotions, but you can control your actions. So let's discuss some steps you can take to safely and constructively break up with someone without being an asshole.    In this episode, we're talking about:   Why initiating the breakup can sometimes be harder than getting dumped 3 questions to ask yourself when figuring out how to break up Why ghosting and poor communication makes a break up so much worse - and why poorly initiating a breakup can come back to haunt you When to know it's time to end a relationship Why you should never break up via text message, voicemail, written note or impersonally, unless safety is a concern Being mindful of the way our brains form memories of experiences and relationships The power of language and choosing our words with intention Why the length of a relationship is not as important as depth How to honourably end a relationship, even if you never speak again   In the event you are in this situation, I hope this episode provides guidance on how to best navigate a break up in a way that is easiest and best for both sides - even if it's not perfect.   Listen, and please share this episode with someone you know who might benefit! And as always feel free to reach out and let me know what you think (contacts below).   CONNECT WITH EMILY Book a private coaching call with Emily to work together. Your FREE 15-page foundational guide Where Do We Begin. Jump on the waitlist for Becoming YOU (6-week women's group coaching program) coming soon! Men's group coaching program coming in November 2022 – waitlist here. Instagram: @emilygoughcoach [email protected]      Emily Gough Coaching Room to Grow Podcast   Podcast Producer: Adam Liefl     REFERENCES:   Episode 254 | Forgive Yourself For Shrinking Into Spaces That Do Not Fit You   Episode 187 | Time & The Effect On The Quality Of Our Relationships    Episode 248 | Grief, Love & Why One Cannot Exist Without The Other   Episode 241 | How To Have Hard Conversations & Improve Communication   Episode 256 | How To Genuinely Apologize And Not F*Ck It Up   Episode 263 | The Value In Being Alone On Purpose (Whether Single Or In A Relationship)   Episode 291 | Confident Detachment & Radical Honesty In Relationships With Dr. Jade Teta