328: Knighted Penguins, Sleep Disorders & IG Ruining Everything | DIYS with Jay Washington

🍽️ FACTORGet 50% off + FREE breakfast for a year!Go to https://factormeals.com/DIYS50off and use code DIYs50off💨 INDACLOUDIf you’re 21 or older, get 40% OFF your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code [DIYS] at https://inda.shop/DIYS #indacloudpod💎 GLDNew customers get 50% Off AND a FREE chain with code DIYS at https://www.GLD.com💳 CASH APPNew customers earn $10 with code SECURE10 when sending $5 to a friend.Terms apply. Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/crftch8p #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.This week on Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir is joined by comedian, actor, writer, and content creator  ⁨@MrJayWashington⁩  this episode… man. It starts wild and somehow gets wilder.We cover everything from Instagram ruining society, Pizza Hut nostalgia, knighted penguins, dolphins with boundary issues, a man who sleeps 300 days a year, a nurse who “lightened his workload” the worst way possible, porn logic, relationship hypotheticals, and the most unhinged analogies you’ll hear all week.Join our Patreon now!! https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary0:00 – Welcome Back + Immediate Chaos0:51 – Freeballing & Bathroom Podcasting4:27 – Career Blessings & Christmas Movie5:05 – Christmas Porn Joke Derailment6:01 – “Stop One Invention?” → Instagram8:25 – Food Reviewers & Shucking/Jiving Talk9:04 – Terry Crews / Fitness Joke10:33 – Black vs White Porn Titles10:56 – MAS*H “Spear Chucker Jones” Discovery12:04 – FACTOR Ad Read15:20 – Bruce/Caitlyn Transition Joke16:34 – Instagram’s Evolution to Insanity18:23 – Twerking Distractions & Discipline19:27 – Twitter Porn Algorithms20:35 – Pizza Hut Nostalgia23:13 – Beaded Curtain Video Store Era24:05 – Porn Names & Credit Roll Joke25:26 – Storyline Porn Rant25:47 – POV Porn… with a Condom26:16 – “Realistic Porn” Requirements28:29 – Meta Glasses VR Porn Debate30:23 – Knighted Penguin Story31:52 – Brigadier Penguin Explained32:22 – Dolphins Are Menaces33:13 – Dolphin Brain Visual34:01 – Woman in Love with Dolphin Story35:21 – Woman Who Married a Ferris Wheel36:29 – IN THE CLOUD Ad Read39:57 – God Talking at 3AM40:57 – Negotiating With Noah for Ark Admission42:22 – Hollywood: Talent vs Value43:43 – Sugar Baby Logic45:09 – Sugar Mama Age Limit (83)46:13 – Slavery Draft Pick Bit47:18 – German Nurse Who Killed 10 Patients50:10 – “Lightening the Workload” Breakdown51:12 – Nursing Home Bed Turnover Reality53:22 – Uncle Remus vs Harold’s (Chicago Debate)54:08 – GLD Ad Read58:42 – Jesus, Mary, Joseph & Theories1:00:02 – Did Joseph Smash? + Jesus’ Brother James1:01:18 – Superhead vs Mary Magdalene1:03:09 – Trailer Park Fight League1:04:13 – Man Who Sleeps 300 Days a Year1:05:35 – Could You Care for Someone Like That?1:06:19 – Partner With No Limbs Hypothetical1:07:09 – Airline Carry-On Problem1:08:18 – Box, Packing Peanuts, iPad Playlist1:09:36 – Playlist for Limbless Bae1:10:29 – CASH APP Ad Read1:11:45 – AI Version of Tahir1:12:20 – Losing Voice & Voice Filters1:13:14 – Bigfoot Joke + Kids Don’t Watch Dad1:14:15 – Reverse Cowgirl… Solo Edition1:15:19 – Dry Jacking vs Lotion Debate1:16:11 – Jacking Off Using Imagination?!1:17:05 – Porn Volume vs Neighbors1:18:32 – Interracial Line Joke1:18:52 – Hippie’s Editing Hell1:19:17 – Jay’s Outro + Links